3 Ways to Disguise a Public Fart

2024 Author: Jason Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 10:50

We've all done it: Fart in public. It's natural and sometimes impossible to avoid. However, for most people this is very embarrassing. If you experience the urge to pass urine in public, there are ways to hide the smell, reduce the risk of being blamed, and disguise the sound.

Step

Method 1 of 3: Reducing the Risk of Being Accused

Step 1. Go away from the fart location

This trick is most often used and is known as "crop dusting". If you fart in public (and can't avoid it), leave the location immediately.

Even if you can't leave the room you're in, try moving from one location to another. Other people won't realize that you are responsible for the bad smell if you are not at the source of the odor.
If you feel like you're going to pee, remove it while you're walking so the smell spreads to a larger space.
It would be better if you leave the room if you feel like passing gas. Or, if it's possible for you to leave the room after releasing gas, that's a good idea.

Step 2. Disguise the smell

Do what you can to disguise or reduce odors if you have farted in public.

Spray some perfume on yourself if you carry it in your bag (or cologne if you're a boy). Some hotels and restaurants provide perfume bottles in the customer's bathroom. Spray deodorant can also help.
Take out a scented hand moisturizing lotion and apply it on your hands. You won't be suspected of being the culprit if you're busy doing something nonchalant, while lotion will make you smell good.
If you don't have cologne or perfume on hand, you can improvise with hairspray to disguise the smell of farts.

Step 3. Go to a place that smells bad

One of the best ways to camouflage the smell of public farts is to blow air out of your stomach in areas where the smell is really bad.

For example, if you suddenly feel the urge to pee while you're at the supermarket, head over to the fish and seafood section!
Another perfect location for farting is around the trash can. People will think the bad smell is coming from the trash can, not from you.
The toilet is a great place to release gas from your stomach if you are in a public place and can control where you pass it.

Step 4. Get around the wind when you are with your lover

When you are with your lover or on a date, of course it is difficult for you to just walk away. You may have to find a way to hide the deed.

Walk behind your lover before you pass the wind. This technique is the same as the “crop dusting” described above, but will spread the smell behind and away from your lover.
Let out a fart before you open the car door for a lover. That way, the smell will spread out instead of inside the closed vehicle.
Tell your lover that you need to go to the restroom. He may think that you really need to use the restroom, not want to fart.

Step 5. Tighten your glutes

You may be able to attenuate or disguise the sound of farts if you make precise movements with your buttocks when you feel the urge to pass gas. Sitting position will also help.

Contract your glutes as tight as you can. If you can hold this maneuver long enough, the fart should weaken. Releasing gas from the stomach on a pillow or something soft can reduce the sound of farts.
Pulling the buttocks in opposite directions so that they are slightly apart can also weaken the strength of the fart. It can be hard to do this if you're in a crowd, but you can do it quickly behind a wall or in the toilet.
Releasing gas from the stomach little by little will also make farts shorter and less audible. Do this every 30 seconds until all the gas has been removed. Make sure you don't experience cepirit, which can happen when you fart. This can be prevented by defecating completely every time you use the toilet.

Method 2 of 3: Pointing the Blame on Others

Step 1. Put the blame on someone else

You can't prove that someone else is passing gas, but there are ways you can direct suspicion toward someone else instead of you.

Use the rule of three or more. This means that you can only pass gas when you are in a group of three or more people.
In this situation, it is easier to point the blame on others and more difficult for others to identify the culprit in the larger group. The key is to fart as quietly as possible. You can blame someone directly or just make an expression of disapproval of the smell and ask who did it.
Don't show any reaction until someone else initiates it. When you see other people start to wrinkle their noses because they smell bad, that's your chance. Act like you're disgusted by the smell and talk about it only after someone else does too. If you blame someone too soon, you could end up being the culprit, like the old adage “who squawks, who lays eggs”.

Step 2. Stand near the right person

This may sound mean, but if you want people to think that the culprit is someone else, you have to pick the right person and stand next to them.

For example, babies and young children can't quibble and deny it, and most people won't be surprised if the baby passes a small amount of gas from the stomach.
People who wear dirty clothes or are known to be not diligent in maintaining personal hygiene can also be another good option.
Elderly people and pets can also be good targets, although it would be rude to blame a grandmother for something you did.

Step 3. Confess

You may be able to earn points if you admit and be honest that you are responsible for the fart.

Apologize and then act like it's normal. People may laugh or feel a little uncomfortable before forgetting about it.
You can refer to cartoon characters like Peter Griffin in Family guy, who is notorious for farting in public.
You can also say "Yeah, yeah, that's me. I'm sorry. I've been trying to hold it in, but it doesn't seem to be working." Most people can understand it because we have all experienced this incident.

Method 3 of 3: Using Voice to Disguise Farts

Step 1. Check the fart in the elevator

The worst place to dump gas (other than in a car) is in an elevator. If you feel the urge to fart, there are ways to minimize its impact.

Hold the fart until the elevator doors open. Usually the elevator doors will make a sound when opening and closing and that will be your helper.
In addition, new people will enter the elevator when the doors open and some will leave.
That way, newcomers may blame the people who just got out of the elevator and you can blame them too, because those people are no longer there to deny it. However, often it is best to remain silent because there will be so many suspects that no one knows who is to blame.

Step 2. Wait until there is a noise

If you're worried that your fart will sound loud, wait until something naturally makes a loud noise before you fart.

For example, if you're in a movie theater, wait for a very loud sound effect.
If you're in a restaurant, wait for the sound of plates clashing or someone talking loudly past your table.
During family outings, wait until the music plays or everyone screams loudly for a toast or laughs at a joke.

Step 3. Make the noise yourself

Instead of waiting for someone else to make a sound, you can do it yourself when you are about to let out a fart.

Cough loudly when you are about to fart. Instead, try coughing a few times as if you had a sudden cough and then drink a glass of water.
Slide the chair so hard that it rubs against the floor or makes a lot of noise. If you're sitting in a chair that's covered in vinyl, move your body so that your feet make a scraping sound against the chair. Act as if farting is the sound of a chair creaking.
Start singing if possible or talk loudly, sneeze, or tap the plate with a spoon.

Step 4. Reduce gas generation as a first attempt

If you are afraid of farting in public, there are several things you can do to reduce gas before you leave the house.

A pinch of chili powder dissolved in a glass of water is thought to reduce gas formation. Ginger is also useful. Ginger can also help reduce flatulence. Try to eat and drink slowly and avoid fizzy drinks, don't smoke, and taking antacids also help.
Do not chew gum as it can cause gas buildup. Don't eat foods that are known to cause flatulence, such as nuts. Gas in the stomach forms when the digestive system has difficulty converting certain foods into energy and waste.
Milk and dairy products, starchy foods such as potatoes and pasta, some fruits (apricots, peaches, and prunes), some vegetables (cauliflower, peas, Brussels sprouts, and asparagus), and some grains (wheat and oats) can causes flatulence.