Sometimes, we feel the need to improve ourselves by changing certain aspects of our lives. Therefore, the experience of improving oneself is a common thing that can be done by anyone. Maybe you want to lose weight, improve your skills in a certain area, feel more social, happier, or more productive. In order to improve yourself, you must set specific goals, make changes, and be able to overcome obstacles as you strive to be your best.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Setting Goals
Step 1. Determine your basic personal values
Write down, prioritize, and read these values regularly. After that, define a target based on these values.
Step 2. Imagine your future
Thinking about positive and negative things that might happen in the future is a way to increase motivation, foster hope for achieving goals, and form a commitment to improve yourself. Thinking about a good future allows you to imagine yourself as the best person you can be. Conversely, imagining negative things can raise awareness of what will happen if the desire to improve yourself is not achieved.
Imagine that you experience a miracle when you sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning, you have truly become the person you want to be. Everything you want to improve on yourself already happens while you sleep. What is different about you? How does it feel? Who is around you? What are you doing? Imagine what your life would be like after everything was fixed. Start setting goals based on that imagination. Maybe you want to be a more confident and healthier person. What do you think must happen for all of this to happen?
Step 3. Determine what needs and what doesn't need improvement
You have to define specific goals and choose the goals that are the top priority.
- Identify your strengths (honesty, hard work, compassion, etc.) and your limitations (temper tantrums, fatness, etc.)
- Set priorities for each of your goals. Give a score for each goal from one to ten. A value of ten means the highest priority you should put first.
Step 4. Ask for feedback
Getting feedback on aspects that need improvement is a way to improve work performance and make it easier to achieve goals. For that, ask others to provide input on things you need to improve so that you can set specific goals and generate motivation to do so.
- Start by asking your partner or family members for their opinion on how to improve yourself. Make sure you only ask people you trust and respect your feelings (rather than belittling or criticizing you). Their answers can take you by surprise.
- Consult with people you trust, such as a therapist, religious leader, or community counselor. At times, we are too harsh or too weak on ourselves that we tend to lie or deny ourselves. However, having an opinion from a third party can help us get a more precise picture of what needs to be improved.
- Choose suggestions that are appropriate for yourself and you can apply them. If certain suggestions don't help, try something else. Try to find the way that works best for you because no one way can be considered the best for everyone!
Step 5. Define goals based on five criteria abbreviated as SMART
The five criteria are: Specific (specific), Measurable (measured), Attainable (achievable), Realistic (realistic), and Time-bound (scheduled). For example: losing weight 10 kg (specific, measurable, achievable) in 3 months (realistic, scheduled).
- Learn how to set goals using these five criteria by searching online for information or reading the wikiHow How to Plan a Work.
- Divide each goal into several intermediate goals. For example, if you want to lose 10 kg of weight, make a plan by setting intermediate goals, for example: reducing daily calorie intake, exercising 3-5 times a week, and reducing sugar consumption.
- Try to achieve intermediate goals that support the achievement of the final goal, rather than wanting to reach the final goal immediately. For example, losing 25 pounds may seem overwhelming, but breaking the habit of eating chocolate will be easier.
Step 6. Find information on how to make changes
You can gather information from books, articles, friends, family members, and experts. If you are ready to change, there will be a lot of information that you can easily get!
Try to remember the positive changes you have made. Plus, you can learn how other people are doing so that they can achieve the changes you want. Talk about your desires with people in the same situation as you and ask for their help. For example, if you want to lose weight, join a group at the gym
Method 2 of 3: Bringing Change
Step 1. Make sure that you are ready to change
According to the Transtheoretical Model theory of behavior change, change occurs in four stages. Find out which stage you are currently in to determine if you are ready to change or if you need more motivation.
- “Pre-contemplation stage”: At this stage, you are facing a problem, but are not yet aware of the situation or trying to deny it.
- “Contemplation stage”: You are already aware of the problem and only think you want to change. Many people stay at this stage until they do something to change things. If you haven't decided what to change about yourself, you may still be at this stage.
- “Preparation stage”: You have made a commitment to change and created a plan of action. You are at this stage when you are already trying to reach your goal.
- “Action stage”: Bringing about change. You are already at this stage if you have carried out the plan every day. You have made a plan and are currently working towards achieving your goals.
- The “maintaining stage”: You have reached your goal and are maintaining the success you have achieved.
Step 2. Be your own guide
Guiding or supervising oneself every day is proven to be able to support the achievement of higher self-improvement, especially in the leadership aspect. Keeping track of yourself every day can make you more aware of your current performance and your ability to achieve your goals.
Ask yourself the following questions: Have I focused or worked on achieving my goals for the day? Have I been positive today? Have I been nice to myself today? Have I accepted today's challenge? Have I changed anything for the better today?
Step 3. Ask for help from others
If self-monitoring isn't helping or you need someone else's support, there is a mentor who can help you make positive changes and achieve your goals. In addition, therapists and psychologists who are trained in intervention can help you achieve personal goals, for example through Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT).
Step 4. Practice, practice, practice
Change usually takes time, especially if you want to make major changes to yourself. Strive until your goal becomes a reality, which is when you become a changed person.
Remind yourself every day what your specific goals are
Method 3 of 3: Overcoming Obstacles
Step 1. Recognize that obstacles are normal
If making changes was as easy as following a straight path, changing yourself would be very easy. In reality, change doesn't happen in a certain way and there may be obstacles you'll have to deal with.
- For example, when you're trying to lose weight, it doesn't happen every day. Over the course of several days, the weight may go down or up. The key is not to let these fluctuations you have to deal with make you give up. Try to see that overall, you're losing weight over time. Know that you can do anything to achieve your goals (with good reason, of course!)
- Write down all the obstacles that may occur while you are trying to improve yourself and learn how to overcome each of them.
Step 2. Focus on what you want to do in the future
You can't reach your goal if you keep dwelling on the past. However, you can achieve your goals by focusing on the things you can do now and in the days ahead. Instead of letting obstacles stop your struggle, keep trying and learn better ways to deal with the obstacles that may arise. You can find another way or try to overcome it.
For example, if you want to lose weight, but gain a pound on the weekends, instead of thinking negatively and giving up, think like this: “My weight is still unstable. I will always eat healthy food to keep my body healthy
Step 3. Accept yourself and do affirmations
Research has shown that people who are able to accept challenges are more motivated to make positive changes. In addition, people who do affirmations and are self-accepting are usually better able to think about and understand challenges.
- Get to know your strengths and the challenges you have to face by writing them down one by one.
- Try to identify yourself as a neutral third party. Get to know yourself by observing your behavior objectively, such as the way you act, talk, and view the people around you.
Tips
- Before going to bed at night, try to remember what you've accomplished throughout the day. While this achievement isn't something that drastically changes life, trying to be nice or reading a few pages of a book every day can have a bigger impact than gaining more important experiences.
- Be patient with yourself. Praise yourself for success and forgive yourself for making mistakes. The saying "Rome was not built in one day!" You can use it as a guide because you have the ability to improve yourself. Good luck!
- Trust in the process and in yourself.
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