Breaking the ice is important in many situations and will result in more productive and more comfortable conversations. No matter what situation you're trying to clear up, wikiHow has some ideas for you to try! Start with Step 1 below or take a look at the sections listed above to refer to the situation that is appropriate for you.
Step
Method 1 of 3: In a Relationship
Step 1. Admit you're nervous
Going on a date is not like meeting people in other situations. There are all kinds of things that tend to make you extra nervous! Admitting that you're nervous on a first date or even just in front of someone new can be a great way to lighten the mood. Your date may be just as nervous, so by voicing your thoughts and feelings, you can ease tension.
Step 2. Notice and comment on something special about him
Gaze at him and notice what he's wearing or how he's acting. Pay attention to the way he speaks and his accent. Look for something else, for example if she's wearing something really nice, quirky, or handcrafted. Comment on the things you noticed earlier.
Step 3. Ask him to ask you something
By letting him know that it's okay to ask questions and talk openly, you can help break the tension in the budding relationship. Say something like "If there's something you want to ask me, feel free." You can even direct her questions so she doesn't get too embarrassed. For example, "If you want to ask about my prosthetic leg that's fine too, it's okay to talk about it."
Step 4. Be honest
There's always something to be said to just say what you're thinking when it comes to matters of the heart. If you meet someone you want to get to know better first before asking them out later then you can be honest. For some people this will keep them away from you, but for most (especially with attractive personalities) your distancing yourself from "trying it out" or playing games will make them more serious and open-minded. Say something like, "I'm sorry, I saw you from across the room and I kind of felt like something led me here. I guess I should introduce myself or I'll never forgive myself otherwise.."
Step 5. Comment on their names
If they have a name that's a bit unusual (a bit old-fashioned, too ethnic, or anything that doesn't sound very familiar), comment and ask about their name. You can ask him if he was named after someone's name, how his parents chose his name, and if he liked it, etc.
Step 6. Make some kind of agreement and invite him to "assess"
One effective way to lighten up the mood with someone you don't really know is to create a kind of "game" and ask them to rate things. For example, ask something like, "My friend said this dress made me look like Bill Cosby during his down time. What do you think?" or "All my friends say that people don't like being around girls with short hair, do you agree?"
Method 2 of 3: At Work
Step 1. Get ready
Always, always, and always do your research before going to any business meeting, be it with one person or with three hundred people. Look for information about the company profile and about as many key players as you will meet at the meeting. Did your new colleague previously work in a different industry? Has the company you visited recently announced a future organizational reshuffle? Look for things like this because you can comment on them as a starter when starting a conversation.
Step 2. Ask how they first got into the industry
One good way to start a conversation with people you've just met at your job is to ask them how they got to where they are now. Most people have had pretty hard experiences to get to where they are today, so chances are your conversations will be very interesting!
Step 3. Ask about awards or honorary positions their company has received recently
These are also things you should find out beforehand if you do your research first. Make sure that the award was received not too long ago, so that those who haven't been with the company for too long can talk about it too.
Step 4. Use colorful candy/chocolate balls
To lighten up the mood with a larger group, use bowls of M&Ms or other small colorful candies around the room. Then, for each candy someone took they had to answer a question about themselves. Agree on questions based on the color of the candy. For example, blue gets the question, "Where did you grow up?". Green gets the question, "What's your favorite tv show?"
Step 5. Re-learn popular culture and sports around you
If you're not the type to be familiar with popular culture or sports this can feel like a burden, but the truth is that pop culture is pretty easy to understand without too much effort. Start skimming the latest in entertainment and sports from magazines/internet every day and you'll be ready to face even more people.
Step 6. Treat your employees, partners, and other people you meet frequently
Melting the atmosphere in the world of work tends to revolve around "games." Most of them will enjoy the game but most will also feel like you are treating them like a high school student (as similar games are very common in schools). You don't want to belittle your employees or co-workers by making them feel that way. Try to find more mature ways to defuse the tension. This also means changing your attitude and starting a direct conversation!
Method 3 of 3: In General Social Situations
Step 1. Give them a compliment
A sincere compliment can be a good way to start a relationship with a new friend. Find something you honestly admire and value and let them know. Do not hesitate! You can compliment them on something they're working on, their personality, appearance, or whatever else you find interesting.
Commenting on their body or shape may not be a good option
Step 2. Act silly
Being a little goofy can help someone who was initially uncomfortable become more detached and know that you're not an overly sensitive/intimidating person. Try this approach if you know that people tend to see you as serious or scary. Try ordering drinks with silly words. Or read their horoscope in a silly voice after you signal to them.
Step 3. Be the "new guy"
Just admit that you're new and have never been anywhere and ask them for advice on new places. Also talk about fun things to do, or places that serve good food. Asking other people to talk about something they enjoy is usually the quickest way to make them feel comfortable and talk more.
Step 4. Pay attention to the things happening around you
Pay attention to what's going on around you and it's easy to find things to comment on. Changing the shape of the building with a new architectural style, someone who is kind and helpful to strangers, new celebrations to come, etc. These are all good ways to start a casual conversation with someone you've just met.
Step 5. Ask for their help
This technique shouldn't be used too often, but it can be an effective way to enter and start a conversation with someone. Ask for their help doing small things (holding a drink, keeping a line, picking up something you can't reach, showing directions, etc). Make sure that the help you ask for from them only takes about 30 seconds. After that, say thank you and then you can start a casual conversation with them.
Step 6. Ask about the food or drink they eat
If you want to talk to someone at a restaurant, coffee shop, or other place to eat, ask them about the drink they are holding or the food they are eating. Say something like how good it smells and then ask where they bought it or what kind of food/drink it was. Then you can move on to a discussion about the foods that are in the area or the specific ingredients in those foods, etc..
Tips
- Try to be friendly!!
- Take the risk. Don't imagine a rejection.
- Talk to your family to practice.
