Nymphomania is a popular psychological term that refers to a condition called hypersexual disorder. This condition is also referred to as compulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality, or sexual addiction. There is debate among mental health professionals about how to diagnose and treat hypersexual disorders. There is still the possibility that your partner simply has an excessive libido, but it can still interfere with your life. Living with someone who suffers from hypersexuality or even simply has an excessive libido can be difficult, but there are ways to improve your situation.
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Part 1 of 2: Discussing Hypersexual Disorder
Step 1. Watch for symptoms of hypersexual disorder
An imbalanced partner's libido is a common problem in a relationship, but having a high libido is not the same as suffering from a hypersexual disorder. To be diagnosed as having a hypersexual disorder, the person must have experienced three or more of the following criteria repeatedly for a period of six months or more:
- Unable to achieve goals, activities, or other obligations because of sexual fantasies or thoughts filled with sex.
- Using sexual fantasies to escape boredom, anxiety, or depression.
- Using sexual fantasies to deal with stress.
- Difficulty controlling sexual urges or behavior.
- Hurt or harm another person (physically or emotionally) while responding to a sexual urge.
Step 2. Raise concerns
If you feel your partner's behavior is consistent with hypersexual disorder, the first thing you should do is raise your concern with your partner. Let your partner know that you are aware of this and explain why you are concerned about their behavior.
For example, you could say, "I'm worried about you and your behavior lately. I saw you make sex to deal with stress. I'm afraid that being like that is not healthy."
Step 3. Encourage your partner to seek help
Hypersexual disorders have not been studied in depth. There is also currently no scientifically proven treatment for it, and the professional community is still debating the boundaries between normal and abnormal sexual behavior. However, there are some therapists who are willing to help. If your partner shows signs of a hypersexual disorder, advise him or her to seek help. Help the couple find a therapist to start treatment.
- If you are abroad, you can find a psychologist in the nearby area by visiting the Psychologist Locator situs website
- Keep in mind that hypersexuality can also be a symptom of another mental illness, such as bipolar disorder. However, it is still necessary to visit a therapist to determine if this is the cause.
Step 4. Get help for yourself
You may also benefit from the therapist's direct support while your partner seeks help with their problems. This is especially true if your partner's behavior is already making your life difficult. For example, you may suffer if your partner cheats on you, spends money to fulfill their sexual habits, or forces you to have sex.
Part 2 of 2: Living with Someone Who Has Excessive Sexual Drive
Step 1. Set limits
If you live with someone whose libido is excessive, they may want to have sex at unusual times or even several times a day. You should express your feelings about this behavior and set limits on when you want to have sex. Keep in mind that your partner may feel rejected or think that you don't like having sex with them at all. Make sure you emphasize that you remain interested in him to minimize conflict.
- For example, if your partner often wants to have sex in the morning while you're getting ready for work, explain why that makes you uncomfortable. You could say something like, “I love your love in the morning, but I've been late so many times because of that. I guess we'll just play in the afternoon when I have a lot of time with you."
- Or if your partner wants to have sex several times a day each day, you could say, “I'm glad you like me. I like you too. But my libido isn't as high as yours, so I can't play two or three times a day."
Step 2. Encourage your partner to find a nonsexual platform
People with high libido can benefit from exercise and activities that require a lot of energy in everyday life. If your partner doesn't exercise much or doesn't have any hobbies, encourage your partner to do these things.
For example, partners can run, bike, dance, or swim to channel their sexual desires and frustrations. Couples can also engage in fun hobbies such as knitting, cooking, or playing a musical instrument
Step 3. Tell your partner that you are okay with masturbating
Some people may think that masturbating is inappropriate if you are a couple, so you may have to discuss your views on this issue with your partner. If your partner wants to have sex every day or several times a day, he may have to masturbate once a day or every few days to control his libido.
Discuss masturbation issues regularly with your partner. For example, you could say something like, “I like playing with you, but I don't have the same libido as yours. Do you want to masturbate a few times a week to cover the day when I'm not in the mood to play?"
Step 4. Consider other ways to meet your partner's needs
If your partner has a high libido, but doesn't feel that sexual intercourse is urgent, you may have to try some new things to satisfy your partner sexually. While you may not want to have sex as often as your partner, there are many ways to meet your partner's needs. For example, you can:
- Have more oral sex during sex.
- Trying to use sexual toys.
- Watching porn together.
- Attempting to have sex via cell phone while apart.
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Step 1. Build emotional intimacy
Some people who have too high a libido may use sexual intercourse to feel closer to their partner on an emotional level. If your partner uses sexual intercourse as a way to get close to you emotionally, try to find other ways that you can both be emotionally close without having to have sex. Look for other ways to build emotional intimacy with your partner, such as:
- Ask your partner's day and tell them about your day.
- Share your problems or concerns with your partner.
- Tell your partner how much their existence means to you.
- Have a romantic date.
Tips
- Remember that generally when things go wrong in a relationship, both parties are at fault. To solve problems in a relationship, it takes effort from both parties.
- Hypersexual disorders can occur in both men and women.
