Beyoncé once said, "Knowing yourself is the greatest wisdom a human being can possess. Know your purpose; know your morals, your needs, your standards, what you like, what you can't tolerate, and what you're willing to sacrifice.. It defines who you really are." The words above are true and to the point. But remember, a person's identity can continue to develop as they age and their life experiences. If it's difficult to define who you are, try reflecting to find your true self. your true self.
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Part 1 of 3: Taking a Closer Look at Yourself
Step 1. Find out what you like and don't like
Most people tend to focus more on what they like. While it is important to find the source of your happiness or pleasure, it is equally important to find out what makes you dissatisfied or disappointed. One of the first steps to reflection: sit in a comfortable position, and then begin to list the things you like and don't like.
- Often, you describe yourself to others by explaining what you like and don't like; mainly because they are what usually connect or separate us from other people. Understanding them can help you figure out your purpose in life, as well as what you want to avoid in life. In addition, it will also help you to choose the right career, hobbies, and social environment.
- After listing the things you like and don't like, take a look at your personality. Are you a person who is too rigid? Have you always chosen to be in your comfort zone and reluctant to try new things? Are there things you'd like to do other than what's written on paper? Build your courage to try something completely new; chances are, you will find another side of yourself.
Step 2. Assess your strengths and weaknesses
Understanding what you are good at and what you are not good at can help you identify your true self. On a separate paper, list your strengths and weaknesses.
- For most people, their strengths or strengths often intersect with what they like. On the other hand, their weaknesses also usually intersect with what they don't like. Let's say you like to eat cakes, cupcakes, or brownies, and your strengths are good at cooking, observe carefully, the two realms intersect. On the other hand, you may hate exercise and your weakness lies in physical coordination and endurance.
- In many cases, things that are challenging can naturally turn into things you don't like because you have a hard time doing them. It explains "why" you like or dislike something.
- Just knowing these things is good enough. But if you want to dig deeper, try to determine whether you want to focus on mastering the things that feel challenging, or instead want to focus your energy on developing the things you are already good at.
Step 3. Determine what makes you feel comfortable
Knowing yourself can be done not only when you are at your best, but also when you are going through difficult times in life. Recall a time when you felt stressed or depressed. What kind of comfort are you looking for at that time? What can make you feel better?
Knowing the key to comfort can really help you to know who you really are. It could be that you are always looking for a certain person to help improve your mood. Maybe you just choose to watch your favorite movie or read your favorite book alone. It could be that your comfort actually comes from food (this is common for people who prefer to eat to release their emotions)
Step 4. Record your thoughts and emotions in a diary
One of the best ways to identify yourself is to observe your thoughts and feelings. Do this for a week or so to get the bigger picture of the topics that often come to your mind, as well as to identify your recent mood. Is your mind filled with positive thoughts or is it the other way around?
- By looking at what is written in your diary, you may find vague statements about your purpose in life that you were not aware of. You may often write down your desire to travel the world, a particular person you like, or a new hobby you would like to try.
- Once you've found a repeating pattern in your diary, take some time to think about what those thoughts and feelings mean. Also think about how you will react to it.
Step 5. Take a personality test
Another way to identify yourself is to take an online personality test. Some people are reluctant to be grouped. While for some others, labeling and classifying themselves in certain groups will actually make their lives more organized. If you don't mind judging your similarities and differences with others, taking an online personality test might help.
- Sites like HumanMetrics.com require you to answer a series of questions about your preferences, the way you see the world, or the way you see yourself. The site will then analyze your responses, then find your personality type based on those responses. Furthermore, you can also find activities or jobs that suit your personality type, as well as understand how you communicate with your surroundings.
- Remember, the results of the online personality test that you take do not necessarily give the most valid results. Such tests are limited to providing a general understanding of who you are. If you need a more in-depth personality analysis, consider seeing a clinical psychologist.
Part 2 of 3: Asking Yourself Important Questions
Step 1. Dig deep to discover your core values
Your values are the basic principles that determine your decisions, attitudes, and actions. These values also determine what and who you are willing to fight for: family, equality, justice, peace, honesty, financial stability, integrity, etc. If you don't know your core values, you will likely have a hard time testing whether your choices align with them. Find your core values in the following ways:
- Think of two people you admire. What makes you admire them?
- Think of a time when you felt very proud of yourself. What happened? Have you helped someone? Did you manage to achieve an achievement? Did you succeed in fighting for your rights or the rights of others?
- Think about what issues interest you. These issues include (but are not limited to) governance, environment, education, feminism, crime, etc.
- Think of three things you would save if your house caught fire (assuming all living things in your house were saved). Why did you choose these three things?
Step 2. Think about whether you are living a life you can be proud of
F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, “I hope you live a life you can be proud of. If not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” If you had to die today, would you have left the best legacy for your descendants and the world they inhabited?
Step 3. Think about what you would do if money was no longer important
When they were children, everyone had lofty goals for themselves. As we get older and the influence of the environment on our lives is getting bigger, these dreams are like being swallowed up by the earth. Go back to a time when you often dreamed of doing something; a dream that you later silenced because the timing was not right or the funds were insufficient. Write down what you would do if you didn't have to worry about finances. How do you choose to live your life?
Step 4. Decide what your life would be like if you were no longer afraid of failure
Often times, we ignore or miss golden opportunities because we are too afraid of failure. Habits of self-doubt can really determine the course of your life, unless you are willing to work hard to get rid of them. What's more, these habits will affect the number of "what ifs" you ask as you grow older. Here are some powerful ways to overcome your fear of failure, especially if it is preventing you from growing into the person you want to be:
- Know that failure is necessary in life. When we make mistakes, we will be able to evaluate our actions and improve our way of life. Failure allows us to grow and learn through mistakes.
- Imagine success. One way to overcome the fear of failure is to constantly imagine yourself achieving something.
- Stay persistent. Whatever problems come your way, keep moving forward. It is not uncommon for a person to achieve his wildest dreams just as he is about to give up. Don't let small failures keep you from reaching bigger dreams.
Step 5. Ask others for their opinion about you
After asking yourself this question, try asking the people closest to you. Their assessment can be a series of characteristics or specific moments that they think can describe who you are.
- After asking some friends and family for their opinion, ponder their answers. How do other people describe you? Were you surprised by their assessment? Are you angry? Do these interpretations match the way you see yourself?
- If you value and justify their point of view, try to think of what needs to be done to bring their point of view to yours and yours. Maybe all this time you have been less objective in assessing yourself and need to re-evaluate your actions.
Part 3 of 3: Assessing Your Relationships with Others
Step 1. Find your personality type (introverted or extroverted)
If you take an online personality test, one of the points that will be analyzed is your personality type. The terms introvert and extrovert are used by Carl Jung to describe the source of a person's life energy, whether from the internal world or the external world.
- Introvert is a term used to describe someone who gets their energy through their thoughts, ideas, memories, and inner reactions. These people enjoy solitude and tend to prefer spending time with one or two people who are "on the same frequency" with them. Introverts are usually seen as quiet or thoughtful. On the other hand, extrovert is a term used to describe a person who gains his energy after interacting with the outside world. They like to join in activities that involve many people; they become more excited when in the midst of many people. Most of them tend to like to act without thinking first.
- Introverts are often interpreted as shy and tend to isolate themselves from their surroundings. On the other hand, extroverts are usually perceived as more sociable and more open to others. The researchers found that this common interpretation turned out to be wrong. They believe that no human being is 100% introvert, nor is it 100% extroverted; both sides of the personality will appear alternately, depending on their situation at that time.
Step 2. Define your character in a friendship relationship
A person who knows himself must also recognize his hopes, feelings, and actions in a friendship relationship. Reflect on your past friendships. Can't you go a day without talking to your friends? Are you always the meeting planner or simply the invitee? Do you love spending quality time with your friends? Would you mind opening up and telling them your secrets? Are you always the cheerleader when your friends are in trouble? Are you willing to do anything to help your friend in need? Are you building healthy friendships (such as not forcing your friends to be there for you and forbidding them to be friends with other people)?
After asking these questions, determine if you are satisfied with the character. If not, ask your friends for some advice so you can be a better friend in the future
Step 3. Observe the people around you
There is a saying that you are the average of the five closest people to you. This idea is based on the law of averages: the final outcome of an event will be based on the average of all the possible outcomes. Your relationship with other people is also inseparable from this rule. The people you spend the most time with can really influence you – whether you want to be influenced or not. Pay close attention to the people closest to you, because they will also define who you really are.
- Of course, you are the rightful owner of your body and mind; You are also able to make decisions and form your own conclusions. It's just that the people around you will still influence you in different ways. They may introduce the latest food, fashion, book, or music that interests you. They may give you a job recommendation. They will probably invite you to party late into the night. They may cry on your shoulder after experiencing distress. Their actions vary, as well as the influence they exert on you.
- Can you see a part of you that “came from” those closest to you? Are you happy with the influence? Simply put, if you are surrounded by optimistic and positive people, you will feel and think the same way. Conversely, if you are surrounded by people who are pessimistic and often think negatively, their attitude will also overshadow and affect your life. If you want to know who you really are, don't forget to look for answers around you.
Step 4. Think about the things you often do when you're alone
Oftentimes, your activities with other people can create an image of who you are. But it turns out, what you do when you're alone can define who you really are. The social environment often affects the way we look, the way we think and act, making it difficult for us to know who and what we really are. Therefore, try to be alone from time to time; Get to know your innermost self and have not been touched by the environment around you.
- What do you often do to fill the solitude? Do you feel less happy when you are alone? On the other hand, do you feel happier when you're alone? Do you like to read in silence? Are you actually going to play the song loudly and dance in front of the mirror? Do you fill your solitude while fantasizing about your wildest dreams?
- Try to define who you are based on your habits of being alone.
Tips
- Take a few days or a few weeks to reflect on the methods above so you can identify yourself more easily. Remember, do it gradually; don't do everything at once.
- Be grateful for who you are, regardless of what other people say.
