Saying no can be a difficult thing to do. Maybe your friend asks for help or a coworker asks you to take his shift in the afternoon. How are you going to be assertive without feeling guilty or-worse-feeling framed with guilt for not doing something? Do not worry! This article includes a variety of tips and tricks to help you be assertive and defend your decisions in the future.
Method 1 of 11: Say “no” simply
Step 1. You don't have to take a complicated “route” to reject someone
In fact, experts recommend using brief, warm, and straightforward explanations. When you give a long, rambling explanation of why you can't do something, the applicant will continue to "whin" or coax you. Therefore, provide a brief explanation or answer.
- You could say, “Sorry, I was busy that day” or “I wanted to help, but I have a busy schedule right now.”
- You can also say, “You can't. I have a lot of work to do this weekend” or “Sorry, I'm not really interested.”
- At first, you may find it difficult to say "no," especially if you're afraid of upsetting or upsetting the person you're talking to. However, remind yourself that your time is as valuable as theirs, and no one is automatically entitled to your energy and free time.
Method 2 of 11: Speak firmly
Step 1. You can be assertive without being rude
Choose firm and clear words when you say "no" so that the other person doesn't get a chance to negotiate. With luck, the applicant will "give up" and look for someone else.
If a coworker asks for help, you can say, “Sorry, I can't help you right now. I'll let you know when I have free time later” or “I've taken two shifts over the past three days and I can't take anyone's shift anymore at this time.”
Method 3 of 11: Stand up for your decision
Step 1. Some people just can't accept a “no” answer
If your first refusal doesn't get your point across, stay firm. Tell him back that you can't fulfill his request and you won't change your mind. It doesn't matter if you're a little "pushy" or assertive, especially if the applicant is adamant. Remember that you have no obligation to help, and you are not a bad person just because you refuse something or say "no".
If a salesperson bothers you with an offer, you can say, "I told you I wasn't interested" or "I understand you'll keep trying to persuade me, but my mind won't change."
Method 4 of 11: Remind the applicant that your refusal is not personal
Step 1. Just because you say “no” doesn't mean you are rejecting the applicant personally
Explain that you don't have the time and energy to fulfill his request at this time. You can also provide assistance or accept requests at a later time, depending on the situation.
- If a friend invites you out for a meal, you can say, “I want to have lunch with you, but I have to finish my homework now. Can we schedule another time?”
- You could also say, "I appreciate your invitation, but I'm really busy right now."
Method 5 of 11: Call him back later if you feel nervous
Step 1. There is no obligation or rule that requires you to give an answer right away
Usually, you can say "Let me think about it" (or something like that) to get more time to think. If you don't want to fulfill his request, but don't have a valid reason, this option can be a good choice.
It's okay to ask someone to give you time to think about something, but try not to procrastinate. Notify the person concerned of your decision within a few days
Method 6 of 11: Thank the requester, instead of getting annoyed
Step 1. Try to look at the request or request from the positive side
He may contact you because he feels that you are a responsible and trustworthy person, which is certainly a compliment. Instead of feeling annoyed or overwhelmed, thank him for thinking about you, even if you haven't or can't help him yourself.
- If a friend or coworker asks you to go to a bar or cafe, for example, you can say, "I'm glad you invited me, but I have a lot of work to do right now" or "Thanks for calling, but I'm busy right now." this."
- If a charitable representative calls, you can say, “Thank you for contacting me. Actually I want to help, but my schedule is very tight.”
Method 7 of 11: Give reasons as an easy solution
Step 1. Your time is as valuable as the applicant's time
Don't view excuses as "escaping"; the reasons you give should not deviate from reality. Even if you can't help the applicant, tell them your real reason. Maybe you have a very busy schedule or you just feel tired. Whatever the reason, notify the applicant in advance and honestly. It will be easier for you to say “no” if you have reasons to support the refusal.
If a friend asks you to help them assemble new furniture, you can say, “Sorry, I can't help you. I have to go to the dentist that day” or “I'm having lunch with my sister this Saturday. So, I can't come to help you."
Method 8 of 11: Offer a compromise, instead of simply refusing
Step 1. Compromise can be a middle ground for you and the applicant
If you really want to help him, offer to take or accept half or part of his “task” or request. With a little negotiation, you can find a middle ground that benefits both parties.
For example, you can suggest another time to the applicant. You can say, "I'll be busy for the next two weeks, but if you don't mind waiting, I can help you after."
Method 9 of 11: Offer alternative options to keep the applicant getting the help he or she needs
Step 1. Find out if anyone else can help
It is possible that you are not the only person who can help the applicant. After rejecting his request, offer or suggest someone else who might be able to help him at this time.
If your schedule is too tight and you can't help a coworker, you can say, "I've been really busy this afternoon, but I think Kekeyi can help you."
Method 10 of 11: Resist the manipulative tactics of others
Step 1. Some people try to package their questions or requests so you can't refuse
It's very annoying, but it's not the end of the world. Simple words like “Sorry, I'm not interested” or “No. Thank you” can have a significant impact on rejecting or stopping the efforts of such figures.
Say there is someone who insists on asking for donations from you and says "Interested in donating to underprivileged children, sir/madam?". You could say, for example, "Sorry, I'm not in the mood to donate right now."
Method 11 of 11: Practice saying “no” in a low-risk environment
Step 1. Over time, you will be able to say “no” more easily
Look for simple and easy opportunities to say "no" in your daily routine. Maybe a coworker takes you to a cafe, or an employee at a sandwich shop asks if you'd like to add tomatoes to your order. Small, simple rejections can help build confidence as you try to say "no" in larger or more serious conversations.