How to Cope With Grief (with Pictures)

2024 Author: Jason Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-19 22:11

Grief can be caused by a variety of factors, from the loss of a loved one or pet to the loss of a cherished dream. Anyone can agree that overcoming grief is a difficult and complicated process, and that there is no exact time limit that can be followed for completely "forgetting" grief. However, when you manage your emotions to the best of your ability, you slowly begin to feel better.

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Part 1 of 3: Dealing with Feelings

Step 1. Don't ignore your grief

One of the myths people may have about dealing with grief is that if you ignore your feelings or sweep them under the rug, it will go away on its own. Sure, you can get on with your day, go to work, and act as if nothing happened, but in the long run, this will only delay the pain and make you pull out all the sad, bitter, or hurt feelings that are building up somewhere in your life. yourself. So the first thing to do is admit that you are suffering a lot. Admit it to yourself, to your friends, and to your support network, and then move on from there.

Step 2. Ask yourself

It seems that most of the reasons for grief are illogical, and irrational. For example, some people grieve out of habit so that after forgetting their grief, they feel better and happier. Sometimes they even become addicted to the feeling of joy after successfully forgetting the sorrow. So ask yourself…

• Is this suffering rational or logical? Sometimes people grieve over something they can't control, trivial things, false excuses, etc., for example if a friend fails an exam. You logically have no control or influence over their failure but will still grieve instead of supporting the friend in a productive way. Another example could be resistance in interpersonal relationships, which is often just bullshit. Remember, failure is part of success.
• Is this reaction productive? Ask yourself, the grief you are feeling, will it in any way help you forget the source of the suffering? Will it have a positive effect in my life? If so, feel free to grieve, but if not, aren't you being irrational and hard on yourself? You feel pain that will get you nowhere.
• Can I do something about this grief? People sit and grieve in the hope of being saved and in the end that makes them even more sad and dejected. Instead of feeling miserable ask yourself, what can I do to fix it? If there's something you can do, try doing it. But if there's nothing you can do to fix it, it becomes irrational and you do yourself a disservice by feeling sad over something you can't control.

Step 3. Don't force yourself to be strong

Another thing that people who have experienced great loss say to themselves is that they have to appear strong. You may think that no one wants to see you cry, look sad, barely able to take care of yourself, and move around like a sleepwalker, but actually you can if that's how you really feel. If you have to be strong for your friends or other family members, it will be complicated, but you can still admit that you feel weak if you are completely broken.

Of course you don't want to fall on your knees, and you probably don't have to. But don't try to be "tough" or act like you can control everything when you know it's not

Step 4. Cry if you want

There is no limit to how many tears a person can shed before they stop crying to be "productive." If you feel like crying, just spill it all out and cry again whenever you feel like crying. Obviously, it would be more comfortable if you could cry alone, and not fall victim to tears in public, but even if you did, it wouldn't be the end of the world, and people would understand. Don't think that tears slow you down or get in the way of your progress.

Step 5. Don't cry if you don't want to

Contrary to popular belief, not everyone experiences pain the same way, and not through tears. You can feel deep sadness without shedding tears, even though those around you may think it's "weird" that you don't express your feelings more openly. Everyone grieves differently, and don't force yourself to cry if that's not what you want to do.

Step 6. Stop thinking about time limits

Maybe you've heard that "grief only lasts a year", that doesn't sound too bad, does it? Unfortunately, everyone has their own time limit for dealing with grief, and you shouldn't be discouraged if you've gone through months without feeling "progress." It's not about progress, it's about learning to deal with feelings and seeing where they take you. People may have certain expectations about how you should feel at some point, but how you feel has nothing to do with what people want from you.

• The fact is, you can never completely "forget" grief. You will think of the person you love, even after a few years, and that's perfectly normal. Actually "forgetting" means finding the best way to deal with feelings so you can move on, which is different from "moving on with life."

  

Step 7. Don't obsess over the five stages of suffering

If you're grieving, you've likely heard that everyone goes through five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, not everyone goes through all the stages before he finds peace, nor does everyone go through the stages in the same order. For example, you may feel depressed first, followed by anger. When you go through these stages, it can be helpful because you know that other people feel the same way, but don't think that you can't overcome grief because you didn't "reach" all the stages.

Part 2 of 3: Getting Support

Step 1. Lean on family and friends

That's what they're there for, right? Your friends and family aren't just there for fun times or holidays. They are there to be your shoulder to lean on, providing a listening ear and a helping hand when you need it. Open up to a close friend or family member about your suffering, and make it a habit to gather with loved ones in relaxed or tension-free situations. Obviously going to a noisy party with loved ones will only stress you out and feel worse, but watching a movie or sharing a meal with a close friend can make you feel better.

• If you need a lot of alone time, that's okay. Don't force yourself to socialize if you don't want to. But if you don't want to be around other people at all, then you can run into trouble.

  

• If hanging out with close friends can really have a calming effect, make plans to spend more time with them and keep your social calendar a little busier than usual.

  

Step 2. Find comfort in faith

If you follow a certain religion, then this is the time to get closer to your faith and religious community. Talk to a priest, rabbi, priest, or other religious leader to find comfort and attend a religious event your religious group holds. You can meet new people who offer solace or just spend time focusing on your faith and religious beliefs, which will also bring you comfort.

Step 3. Join a support group

Support groups are full of people who have experienced a similar loss and who share their pain and understand your pain. You may feel like you don't have many friends or family to turn to because they don't know what you're really going through because they've never experienced a similar loss, even if they mean well. A support group can give you access to people who are suffering in the same way (though of course no one else is suffering exactly the same way) and can help you establish a new routine and get the help you need.

• Support groups are not for everyone. If you join and don't feel any impact, you can leave.

  

Step 4. Get help from a therapist or bereavement counselor

Sometimes it can be helpful to share your feelings with a professional who doesn't know you personally. This can help you sort out your feelings and to get more advice from trusted sources. You may also just want to talk and feel less constrained if you share your feelings with someone who doesn't know you outside of their office. Don't think that getting professional help means you have a problem or that you are weak. Admitting that you need more help is a sign of strength.

Step 5. Tell your co-workers what happened

While you don't have to tell all the details of what happened to your boss and thirty closest colleagues, providing key information will let them know that you may need time off, that you are struggling to do the best job you can, and that you should be treated with the utmost care. a little more.

• Don't worry about making those around you feel a little awkward or uncomfortable, it's only a small risk, and it's far better to get it out of the way than struggling to smile on a tough workday when you can barely even bring yourself to open an email.

  

Step 6. Consider owning a pet

This may sound absurd. How can a little kitten make you feel better about the death of one of your closest friends? Obviously, a new pet can't replace someone who's gone, but having a pet, of course, if you feel stable enough to take care of it, can definitely make you feel better. You will feel the comfort of being able to hug a little creature who loves you unconditionally and will feel the power of being able to take care of other living beings. Pets have been shown to relieve stress, and that's something else you may need.

Part 3 of 3: Taking Care of Yourself

Step 1. Rest

It may sound silly to make sure you get 7-8 hours of sleep every day, but it's one of the most important things you can do to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Chances are you stay up all night worried, or maybe you spend 14 hours a day in bed because you can't get up to face the day. Try to find a balance, get enough sleep but not too much, even if you have to struggle to wake up.

• If you have trouble sleeping, cut down on coffee.

  

• If you really can't sleep, you can get medication if that's what your doctor thinks you need, but don't rely too much on it.

  

Step 2. Be physically fit

People who are dealing with grief tend to stop paying attention to their health. Maybe you can barely eat one meal a day because you're too sad, or you can only order pizza twice a day because you can't take yourself out to eat or cook normal meals. Force yourself to eat three balanced meals a day as often as you can and make sure you eat foods that make you feel good and energized, not sluggish and tired.

• If you really can't bring yourself to cook, lean on a friend who can make entertaining meals for you.

  

• Try to exercise at least once a week, ideally every other day, if you can. Just walking for 30 minutes a day can make you feel stronger and can improve your mood.

  

• This means staying away from alcohol until you feel more stable.

  

Step 3. Take care of your mental health

Everyone reacts to grief differently, and it's good to have seen a counselor, but you need to check in with yourself to make sure you're not feeling overly depressed, anxious, or angry. Talk to your doctor or mental health care professional if you feel like you can barely do anything, can barely leave the house, feel anxious or angry about your every move. Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body, especially during this difficult time.

Step 4. Spend some time outdoors

The sun has been shown to make people feel happier. Go and sit in the garden instead of wailing in the room. Walk 20 minutes to grocery store instead of driving. Sit on the back porch when reading and not in bed. These small changes can make a big difference.

Step 5. Do some activities in an effort to forget your grief

Sitting and thinking about suffering will only lead to more suffering. Instead, doing positive activities will help you cope.

• Meditation. One of the goals of meditation is to help you find inner strength, which you are not aware of. This inner strength can really help you feel and be strong from within. Meditation of just 10 minutes can be very beneficial.

  

• Play good music. Music has the amazing power to instantly change moods. So playing good music and even trying to dance to the music is a good activity to shake up your grief. Keep in mind that playing sad music is not likely to help you as it will only make you sadder, so we recommend happy and inspiring music.

  

• Having fun. Remember the most important thing is to have fun.

  

• Feel truly grateful for what you have. If you have supportive friends and family, music, good food, a garden, etc. you can basically feel gratitude for anything that has a positive effect in your life. So look at the amazing and infinite universe, stretch out your hands and say 'Thank you' for what you have and try to feel grateful. It is a very powerful activity and sport for dealing with grief.

  

Step 6. Write in a journal

Keeping a journal at least once every day or two can help you reflect on your emotions, feel more in control, and feel like you're reflecting on how you live your daily life. You may feel that life has passed you by since the loss and that you barely have time to think, journaling can help you calm down and connect with your emotions.

Step 7. Be prepared for triggers

Grief doesn't move on the same trajectory, and yes, you will feel worse during moments that can carry all heartache. This moment may be a holiday, a family event, or an interaction with anyone that reminds you of your loss more than anything else. If you know you're facing an event or group of people that will make you think more about your loved one, make sure you have additional support and an escape plan if necessary.

• If you're used to spending holidays with your loved ones, make sure you make plans to go somewhere else months in advance so you're not alone at home later.

  

Step 8. Don't just make big decisions in life

Wait until you feel calmer and more rational before making any major decisions. Your loss may make you think it's time to ask for a divorce, quit your job, move to another city, or do something really dramatic, but you should take some time to reflect before deciding whether or not that was really the best plan. Even if you've been thinking about this change for a long time, it's better to make this decision with a cool head than to do something you'll regret later.

• Once you've made a decision in your head, give yourself at least two months to do it. Over time, ask yourself if it's really as good an idea as it seems at first.

  

Step 9. Find a new routine

While you can't completely reorganize your life to cope with loss, the more changes you make, the better. Find a new coffee shop besides the one you usually go to with your loved ones every Sunday morning. Find a new work schedule that works for you. Pick up a new hobby or interest, and involve yourself in it a few times a week. Try a new sport, such as yoga or running. While you don't have to change everything in your life, especially if it was good enough before, you should find new things that give you pleasure but don't make you think about the person you love.

Step 10. Be patient

This doesn't mean you have to sit back and wait for the day your grief will magically go away. Unfortunately, that day will not come. But slowly, you will realize that you can live with grief and move forward. He who is gone will always be special and will always be on your mind, but the day will come when you will no longer feel the pain of loss. Keep telling yourself that things will get better, however cliché it may sound, and in the meantime take care of yourself.

Tips

There are various tips that will make you become and feel stronger day by day