Do people often describe you as arrogant? Doesn't anyone want to be your partner at work or school because you tend to dominate everything? If you want to stop ruling and dominating them, then you have to learn to give up all your control and trust those around you. If you want to know how to stop dominating and learn how to work with others in a mutually beneficial and productive way, then take a look at these steps to get started.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Work Better with Others
Step 1. Be patient
When you get used to a leadership role, it can be excruciating to step aside and wait for someone to step up, and even more excruciating to watch them fumble for a task that you can complete so quickly and easily. But is it not in a hurry? Will it be the end of it all if things don't go as smoothly as planned? Just relax. Take a deep breath. Wait, you just need patience, everything will be done without needing your intervention.
- Plus, if other people feel that you seem impatient, they'll be much more rushed and not do the job you'd like them to do. There is some difference between applying pressure subtly and emphasizing them.
- Give them a grace period to complete their work so they can work effectively instead of asking all kinds of unnecessary questions to get the job done in a short time.
Step 2. Get rid of perfectionism
Sometimes we rule because we want things to be perfect, and there's nothing wrong with struggling to get a job done right, right? The problem is that there is more than one way to achieve great results, and just because your method is more efficient at getting points A through B doesn't mean that yours is the “best” way. By assuming that your way is the best, you lock in the creativity of others, and you destroy their morale. Both of these are deterrent factors in the long run, and it's not a great outcome.
- If you're really having a hard time doing this, tell yourself that being a perfectionist isn't actually perfect. It's better to hope for the best but it doesn't have to be done the right way in your eyes. If you always expect this, then you will definitely be disappointed.
- Stop micromanaging (examine something in great detail) and try to control every step of the process. You can never work with other people. And will never be able to rest like that.
Step 3. Invest in other people
Most domineering people focus their attention on an inability, and they fail to see potential and good progress. Try to see more of a person's abilities. Give a positive response. Don't see a person as a means to an end like a machine. Give them time to think for themselves, they need to learn, and learning is bound to make mistakes. Trust them, and give them a fault line. Let them know you're there to help, but don't pay too much attention to them and take over their job.
If you see someone doing their job well and impressively, then you should give them credit for their good work. Let people know that you're not just looking for something negative as this will help you build a strong relationship and will also help you to be less bossy and domineering
Step 4. Improve your communication skills
It's not about what you have to say to rule and dominate them, it's how you say it. Your tone and words can make the other person feel like they can't do any of these things, or they can even make someone feel useful in achieving your common goals. It's important to pay attention to your time, your words, and an example you set when you're trying to get a job done quickly. Refine your way of communicating, the easier it will be for you to quickly complete a project without putting other people down.
- You may feel like a listening person, demanding, or maybe scary, but this is very upsetting and will keep people from succeeding in their jobs. They will try to do their best and get the job done quickly if you have a close relationship with them than if they are afraid and resentful of you.
- For example, if you study the sandwich response, you will find space for communication to improve relationships by keeping someone feeling positive.
Step 5. Try to accept public opinion
Nothing builds a team like making a consensus. Although it is more time consuming than voting like a democracy, the consensus process tends to be easier to reach a consensus. You can be the facilitator, ensuring that everyone's opinions are heard, and a decision is made based on the will and consent of the people involved. If decisions are made on the basis of your will alone, then people will feel uncomfortable, feel unsportsmanlike, and unprofitable.
- You may think that using legal recourse is the best way to get things done, but it will make people feel uncomfortable and comfortable at work.
- Also, listening to what other people have to say can help you find new approaches to getting things done. If you feel like the way you do it is just a way to get the job done, then you will never learn anything new.
Step 6. Ask for honest responses
It's not easy because it's a good idea or makes a good impression. Explain to people why you are bossy and sometimes domineering, and you want to change that. Tell them to remind you if you did something bad, either by speaking nicely, or even by sending anonymous letters or e-mails. Be humble and ask for their help. This shows that you want to change and will consistently do this.
If you are a manager or boss, make it a habit to regularly conduct anonymous paper comments on your performance that can improve your behavior. If people say the same about you, then you have to change the way you work
Part 2 of 3: Set Your Mindset
Step 1. Learn to admit your own mistakes
Most of the people who always dominate is because they always think they are right about everything. If you allow it and admit wrongdoing to others then see that they have the knowledge and experience to advise you well. The next time you make a mistake, either at work or with friends, just accept it and admit it. Say that you are doing it because you want to do your best, and not what you expected. People will appreciate and understand your actions instead of you pretending that everything is someone else's fault.
- If you admit your mistakes, then people will respect you more, and they will help you give a good response.
- If you've made mistakes, consider how you avoided them. would it be better if you listened to what other people have to say? If someone has comments about you, you can tell them that you will listen to them. It won't be easy, but it will help you avoid the same mistakes in the future.
Step 2. Accept decisions their way
If you like to dominate, then the hardest thing is getting their input. Like coworkers, friends, or even your boss who you really have no control over. While there are some things that you need to change or improve, there are still other things that cannot be changed. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will find your desire to be less domineering, calmer, and full of peace of mind.
Of course, if something isn't going well in your environment, then be willing to turn it all into a memorable and meaningful task. But if you can't change everything. Learn to accept things that don't matter to you instead of wasting your time and can frustrate and irritate you with things you can't control
Step 3. Recognize that giving control to others can benefit you
You might think that giving up control means admitting your mistakes and handing over your perfect dream to them. But in reality, giving control can be a pleasant experience. Not only will this improve your relationships with other people by allowing them to take on responsibilities, but it can also reduce your stress, and allow yourself more time to do the things you love (and not include dominating others). At first, you will feel uncomfortable, but over time you will get used to it.
Start little by little to make things easier for you. You don't have to give up all of your responsibilities or stop making decisions altogether. Hand over some of your responsibilities in advance, such as letting your coworkers proofread work reports or letting your friends choose where you'll eat. You will see that it will be easier
Step 4. Let people be themselves
People who always dominate usually want people around them to be different people rather than being themselves. They may want them to be friends who can commit, work hard, or be more useful, and they try whatever they can to make a difference. Now, there are situations where a person has room to improve, such as a messy roommate or coworker who is always late, and other problems. But you can't expect someone to change completely or you'll be really disappointed.
- For example, if you have a messy roommate, you can ask him to do his own thing, clean his own room and so on. You can do this and hope your friends don't need to be reminded again.
- There is some difference between having some high expectations and reasonable expectations. Of course, you can expect the people working under you to take some time off, but you can't force them to double their speed unless they really have plenty of time for improvement.
Step 5. Respect yourself
The reason people are bossy and domineering is because they lack self-respect. You may feel that people won't like you or won't listen to you unless you dominate and be rude to them, just tell them exactly what to do. On the other hand, you need to realize that you are a person who deserves to be heard, and you don't have to put so much pressure on people to listen to you. Do something you enjoy, work on any flaws you can handle, and realize that you are someone who deserves to be heard.
Many people think that bossy people have big egos, which is why they insist on doing that. However, bossy people are because they have low self-esteem which makes them think that this is the only way for people to listen to them
Part 3 of 3: Giving Control
Step 1. Be more flexible
Domineering people are very inflexible because they don't want to give up any X-factor and hate the term "Plan B." Although if you want to stop being bossy and domineering, you'll have to learn to be a little more flexible than expecting things to go smoothly. If a friend of yours asks for extra time to complete a report because of some changes, learn that it's not the end of the world even if you think you can finish it on time.
One way to be more flexible is to start planning. If you are targeting your program to be completed in one week, then it is difficult for you to suddenly change
Step 2. Set your anxiety level
Many people like to dominate because they can't handle their own thoughts if things don't go as planned. They become anxious if there is a delay and the project is not written the way they want it. If such behavior stems from worrying about the unexpected that will ruin your day, then you must learn to get rid of that thought and think positive.
- If you suffer from severe anxiety such as not being able to sleep at night, shaking because you are so worried, or finding it difficult to focus because you feel like everything is wrong, then you should see a doctor.
- If your anxiety level is not too severe, you can manage it yourself by doing yoga, meditation, cutting down on caffeine and making sure you get enough sleep.
- Of course, people who experience this will be more anxious than others. If you get into the habit of monitoring your anxious behavior, you will slowly begin to find ways to deal with it. For example, if you get really anxious every time you're late for work and get stuck in traffic, then see what if you left 15 minutes early.
Step 3. Let the other person make the decision
This can be the scariest thing for people who are always domineering. But once you give it a try, you'll see that there's nothing for you to worry about. Start small. If you're going with friends, let them choose which movie or restaurant you're going to. If you're at work, let your coworkers decide how a report should be formatted. If you think it really makes a difference, then let someone else do it.
- If you are known to be domineering and bossy, then people will be surprised and genuinely appreciate every time you give them a chance.
- Take a deep breath and say: “I don't know, what do you want to do?” You will realize that it is not as bad as you think.
Step 4. Be more spontaneous
People who like to dominate tend to be more spontaneous. Your job is to see the fact that you are an ordinary being and find a way to live outside of your ordinary. Take a little of your time to go out with friends and find a new hobby. Learn a dance, and then move on to a song. Do whatever you think you've never done. Soon enough, you'll realize you don't have to be selfish.
- Spend your time with people who are spontaneous in doing anything to help you be more spontaneous in making decisions.
- Pay attention to what will happen if you let your weekend run its course as if you made plans to do things on the weekends. You may feel a new sensation in this.
Step 5. Delegate
Another thing you can do to stop being the dominant one is to delegate some of the tasks you need to complete. If you're planning your own wedding, don't yell at everyone around you, ask a friend to help you pick flowers, have someone else help you make the invitations, and so on. Don't burden yourself and yell at everyone to do it all at once; on the other hand, be careful who you turn to for help, and you'll find better delegation than bossing people around you.
Delegating is a major task in an office environment. You will get more assignments than if you delegate a trusted person to do the work
Step 6. Stop giving advice when it's not needed
Another thing domineering people like to do is tell people what to do and how to act when it's not needed. Be sensitive to other people's needs and offer advice and advice if other people ask for your help and if they really need your help, instead of acting like you know everything you think is the best way.
Of course there will be situations where you really feel like you know the best way to do something. If that's the case, then speak calmly, don't say "you know one thing that really worked for me?" it will sound that you know everything
Suggestion
- Being bossy and domineering won't make you a good boss. Follow these steps to be a good boss.
- Think of other people. When you're on a team, there's bound to be some thinking. Be patient and try to understand their feelings. Listen to them. Think about their ideas; even if you don't agree, agree or discuss it again, it definitely lets them know that you appreciate their idea.
- Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and count to ten. Allow yourself to relax, and more importantly think before you speak and act.
- Sometimes once in a while you just have to not rule but be open to any input
Attention
- In some cases, when you stop commanding, you find people who look like you but don't do that anymore. Not because your ways are less attractive, but because you don't scare them anymore.
- Don't be quick to anger and don't say inappropriate things so you won't be angry with other people anymore
