Updating yourself means something different to everyone. Before turning yourself into someone you want to be, of course, what this renewal means to you must be clearly understood. Maybe you already have some ideas, such as changing the way you make friends or communicate with other people. It's also possible that you want to change your career or self-image. In making it happen, it takes a plan to move forward and achieve goals. In the final stage, you need to follow through with all the steps needed to become who you want to be.
Method 1 of 3: Determining the Desired Change
Step 1. Imagine a picture of the future
Ask yourself, what will your life be like in the next 5, 10 and 20 years? Take the time to visualize it. The imagined situation must provide clues regarding the desired personality.
- At first it may seem difficult. You may not be able to imagine anything. However, there is usually an image that immediately comes to mind when this question is asked.
- Try to imagine the picture, even if only for a moment. Do you fantasize about sitting with your wife in the living room of your house? Or, you are walking along the beach watching the sunset? Or, you just daydream of sitting in the office and discussing business with a client.
Step 2. Think about the imagined future
After getting a clear picture of the future you want to achieve, consider the qualities or characteristics that are displayed in your imagination.
- In particular, think about what kind of person is in the picture. That person is the person you want to reach.
- Maybe you are a strict person at work. It's also possible that you look successful and casually stroll along the beach. Or, you actually look happy, comfortable, and grateful when sitting with your wife in the living room of the house. It is these qualities that one is trying to take away when renewing oneself.
Step 3. Visualize an alter ego
If you have trouble imagining yourself in the future, try imagining an alter ego of yourself in the present. If you could live two lives and be anyone, what kind of person would you choose? Take some time to think about this question in detail.
- What would that person say, do and wear to become your alter ego? How does your alter ego interact with other people? What is this alter ego's job?
- For example, imagine an executive who has a successful career at the top of his company. He graduated college, did an internship, and started his career like the average person. He socializes in a caring and professional manner. He always wore neat business attire. His alter ego may be someone who is strong and stubborn and always wears leather clothes and rides a motorcycle. He works as a tattoo artist and plays guitar in his band on weekends. He never doubted his opinion and was not afraid to speak it. He is strict with others, and usually his opinion always wins.
Step 4. Determine the meaning of your alter ego
Your imaginary alter ego should provide clues about who you really are. Some of the characteristics of the alter ego indicate the things you want to achieve in real life.
- The person exemplified above may never change. But maybe she'll try on bolder outfits and go to a skirt concert on the weekends. Maybe he'll get a tattoo or take a training class to be more assertive and bold in expressing his opinion.
- You don't have to turn completely into your alter ego unless you really want to. Some of the characteristics of an alter ego are part of who you are.
Step 5. Create a vision statement
The next step is to make a statement or goal about the desired personal. Use the insights gained from one or both of the above methods to develop your vision.
- Express your idea in the form of a statement, such as “I will be an assertive entrepreneur. I want to have complete control over my day-to-day and business decisions.”
Once the general statement has been made, ask yourself a few questions to test whether the vision is right for you. As an example:
- Did the statement feel interesting and meaningful to you?
- Do you not really agree with the vision? Which part is not approved?
- Do you underestimate the importance of self-transformation when expressing your intentions to others?
- Do you feel this is the right vision because of other people's opinions? Do you feel this change is right for you?
- Does this vision statement reflect who you really are?
- After thinking through these questions, adjust the vision statement as needed.
Method 2 of 3: Making a Plan
Step 1. Determine priorities
After having a clear picture of the things you want to change to achieve the desired identity, sort them from the most important to the least important. Get the most important things done first.
- Remember that change is hard to make. Therefore, don't change too many things at once.
- Furthermore, you may find that you have had enough after the first change. Maybe the desired person is not too different from who you are now. Or, you want to reset the priority of the list after making some changes. Don't get hung up on the list you created the first time.
Step 2. Define the requirements
After determining what changes will be made, the next step is to determine the things that are needed to change.
- For example, if you want to be more assertive, look for the necessary knowledge resources, such as a course or reading class. You can also chat with a friend or coworker who is assertive and ask for some advice. Take a course class or self-affirmation group. Prepare yourself as much as possible before starting your journey.
- It may be easier to break down your goals into steps. Think about the things you need to do to become the person you want to be, and make plans to achieve them.
- Breaking down your life goals into smaller chunks makes the process easier to manage. You can also measure your progress more easily. This will keep you motivated.
- You can gain more motivation and accountability by setting time limits for completing change steps.
Step 3. Be prepared for obstacles
There are many external factors that you cannot control, therefore obstacles will arise and prevent you from turning yourself into the person you want to be. Make a plan to overcome any obstacles that may arise.
- For example, imagine at some point you have multiple goals and goals on top priority are getting harder and harder to do. It's a good idea to try to complete other goals and return to your priority goals when conditions allow.
- For example, you may experience indecision or rejection from family and friends. If you start being assertive, some people may start to feel pretentious and react negatively. You can prevent this by explaining the changes you want to achieve. For example, say “I want to try to be more assertive, and this is very important to me. You may notice that I have been more open about my opinions and needs. I still need a lot of practice, but I hope you guys can support me.”
- Maybe one day you will be constrained by money and time. For example, you usually have to set aside money for course fees. However, suddenly an important need arises and your course money has to be used. This can be anticipated with a backup plan. The easiest thing to do is to postpone the deadline for your goal. You can still train your assertiveness by studying through books until you have the money to be able to take the course again.
Method 3 of 3: Continuing Efforts to Become a Better Self
Step 1. Learn new skills and habits
Generally, changing yourself means doing things differently. This means that new skills need to be learned. When changing yourself, try to practice these new skills and ways.
- Incorporate change measures into your daily communications. Strive to interact with others as a person to be.
- For example, imagine that you are trying to be a more assertive person. Start by noting situations where you could have expressed your opinion firmly, or you could have kept it quiet and kept it to yourself. Then, practice expressing your needs in a non-aggressive and threatening way.
- Skills are easier to learn and apply with lots of practice. It may seem daunting at first, but making these changes will bring you closer to the person you want to achieve.
Step 2. Strive consistently to achieve the goal
All major changes or accomplishments require concerted and persistent effort. Strive every day to renew yourself.
- A good way to make consistent progress is to take time into your daily routine to reach your goals. For example, spend an hour each day reading a self-improvement book or taking a self-training course.
- Remember that big changes take a lot of time and effort. Keep trying hard for a long time to become the person you want to be.
Step 3. Stay motivated
Change is hard to achieve, and when things get harder, it's very easy to be tempted to step back and revert to old habits. To keep your spirits up, always keep a vision close to you.
- You can do this by recalling the picture of your life when the changes were successful. The shadow of your success is a pretty good source of encouragement.
- You can also create some kind of reminder to keep your spirits up. You can write your vision down on a piece of paper or save a picture that reminds you why you want all these changes. For example, clip a picture of a business presentation from a magazine. You can also display a picture of your dream office in the future.
Step 4. Be open to change
People change and evolve constantly. What you want now will be different 10 years from now. Do not be too rigid and change your vision if it is judged to be inappropriate.
Know that changing yourself will also change the environment around you. For example, if you decide to be assertive, your communication style will change. The people around you will also change their response to you
- Change yourself to be a better person. Don't change just to blend in and get approval from others.
- Be a better version of yourself now. Everyone has good qualities in him that don't need to be changed or even need to be developed.