If you are too focused on wanting to have a romantic relationship, being single will feel very torturous. In fact, the process of finding the right partner can be a long and endless journey, and feeling tormented along the way is not an ideal situation. That's why, you need to learn to love and enjoy life even though you are single. The trick is to start seeing yourself as a whole and healthy person, then dismantle your understanding of the concept of dating and dating. By having a healthy mindset, surely a healthy relationship will come your way. As long as you haven't found it yet, feel free to have fun!
Method 1 of 3: Building Your Identity
Step 1. View yourself as a complete individual
Don't feel "empty" just because you're living the single life. In fact, you are an individual with complex hopes, dreams, goals, and shortcomings, and it's important that you recognize and embrace them. On the other hand, being single is the perfect time to practice your independence and maximize your self-knowledge, especially since you don't have to worry about other people's needs and wants!
If you're having a hard time doing this, try compiling a list of things about yourself, such as a list of your best qualities, your funniest jokes, and/or your most important accomplishments. Doing so will remind you that your romantic relationship status doesn't define you
Step 2. Allow yourself to lament the single life
In fact, it's perfectly normal to feel sad or sad when your expectations for a partner aren't met. You're not the only one who feels this way. Allow the feeling to arise, but don't let your body and mind be ruled by it. To do this, try taking a few minutes to acknowledge the feeling, then quickly find a way to move on with your life in a more productive way so you don't have to dwell on it all the time.
- For example, if you are invited to a wedding and have to come alone, chances are that the feeling of being alone will be unavoidable. If that's the case, don't pretend to be happy! Instead, say to yourself, “I wish someone would marry me, and that feeling makes me sad right now. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way, I can still be happy for my friend and celebrate her wedding."
- If you're feeling lonely on a romantic big day like Valentine's Day, try starting a new tradition, like ordering food from your favorite restaurant and/or watching a movie marathon with your friends.
- Try to separate those feelings from anything else that makes you sad or anxious. For example, if you've recently lost a loved one and are sad that he or she won't be able to see your wedding, it's likely that dealing with the single situation will be more difficult. Therefore, try to grieve for both situations separately.
Step 3. Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem
If your desire for a romantic relationship is really strong, chances are that being single will undermine your confidence and self-esteem. In fact, there is nothing wrong with living single. In fact, being single has only one meaning, which is that you haven't found the right person yet! Therefore, always keep in mind the positive qualities of yourself whenever you are feeling bad. Trust me, you will feel better afterwards!
- For example, you might look in the mirror and say, “I'm a fun person, I'm a great friend, and I have a great dress style! One day, I will definitely find the right person, but for now, I love myself for who I am."
- At the same time, learn to recognize and reject negative thoughts directed at yourself. For example, if you're thinking, "I'll never date," stop thinking that way and always remember that you can't read the future. Then, replace those thoughts with self-affirmations like, “I can't wait to fall in love one day!”
Step 4. Pursue your dreams, regardless of your current romantic relationship status
Whatever your goal in life, there is no need to wait for the prince on horseback to come after him. In particular, whatever you want to do after finding a partner, start doing it now! In this way, you will undoubtedly feel more fulfilled and less burdened with your single relationship status.
- For example, if one day you want to set up a Kindergarten, try signing up for business classes in the evenings so you don't interfere with your daily work.
- If one of your goals is to become a parent, try exploring options for single parenting, such as adopting children, becoming a foster parent, or seeking genetic donors.
- Even if you end up in a romantic relationship with someone else, keep pursuing the dream that you think is important!
Step 5. Be the person you want to date
Make a list of the positive qualities that you like in a potential mate. After that, instead of looking for someone who can fulfill these qualities, try to reflect on the suitability of the contents of the list with your qualities. If there's a quality you don't have, do things to improve yourself. Chances are, you'll feel happier and more fulfilled when you're single, and that sense of fulfillment will be your most important asset to living a more enjoyable life.
- For example, if you want a stable, kind, and loyal partner, try to find opportunities every day to cultivate these characteristics, such as by trying new things, providing support to people who are not happy, or donating time or money to organizations. charities that align with your interests.
- If you want to date someone who loves to travel around the world, try registering your email address on the websites of various airlines to receive information regarding attractive price promotions. That way, you can still visit new places even if you have a limited budget!
Step 6. Learn to take care of yourself and the place you live in
Often, people have expectations about the concept of sharing the responsibilities of household chores with their partners. However, for those of you who are single and live alone, most likely all the housework will have to be done alone. It's not easy, of course, but try to encourage your body to keep moving to keep your house clean and tidy, even if it means you have to do chores you don't like, like washing the dishes or mowing the lawn.
- Therefore, learn to do things that you rarely do, such as changing the car oil, washing clothes, or cleaning the gutter in front of the house.
- These independent behaviors will help boost your self-confidence, as well as make you feel more comfortable with being single.
- If you end up having to "share" the house with someone else, he or she will most likely appreciate your meticulous care for the house. After that, the two of you can start working out a plan to share responsibilities.
Step 7. Stick to the support system you have
Embrace people who never bring you down, and always make time to spend the day with them. Whenever you feel sad, share your feelings with someone you trust. Believe me, these behaviors can eliminate the feeling of loneliness that accompanies your single life.
- If you're having trouble finding time to meet your loved ones, try inviting them to your home regularly. For example, if you have a habit of watching your favorite television show on the weekends, tell your friends that they can come over to your house whenever they feel free.
- If you want to make new friends, try joining people who share similar interests. For example, if you enjoy reading, try joining a local book club or online forum that accommodates members to discuss their reading.
- Avoid relatives and family who constantly push you into a romantic relationship. If you wish, you may also voice your objections and/or set boundaries with unavoidable people, such as your parents. For example, you might say, "Hopefully one day I can find the right person, but for now, I'd rather talk about school matters, anyway."
Step 8. Focus on doing self-care activities that you enjoy
One way to become a complete individual is to know the things that can support your health and happiness. Everyone's self-care process is not the same. Therefore, try to think of the ideal day concept for you, starting from a pleasant morning routine to a relaxing evening routine. Then, try to make it happen!
- For example, if your beauty routine can soothe your body and mind, try starting your day by cleansing and moisturizing your face. At night, you can try bathing, using a face mask that is rich in moisture, and applying lotion all over your body.
- Having a healthy body is one of the factors that guarantee your happiness. Therefore, do not forget to exercise and eat healthy foods on a regular basis.
- Taking care of mental health is also a very important thing to do. Therefore, don't hesitate to seek out a support system whenever you feel you need help, and consider consulting a counselor whenever you are experiencing a negative emotional disorder, such as depression or anxiety.
Method 2 of 3: Enjoying Singleness
Step 1. Realize and enjoy every moment you're going through.
Don't spend your focus and energy on things you don't have. Instead, practice being grateful for the things you have, such as where you are in your life right now and the positive activities you're currently engaged in.
- For example, if you're having dinner at a restaurant, don't spend time staring at your family or partner sitting near you. Instead, try to enjoy the nuances around you, and pay attention to simple details, such as the decor of the restaurant or the music playing. When your food arrives, focus on enjoying every flavor it has to offer. If possible, try to guess as many ingredients as possible in the food!
- If you have a habit of daydreaming, try shifting your focus to one thing you touch, one thing that comes to your senses, one thing you see, one thing you hear, and one thing you feel.
Step 2. Explore your hobbies in your free time
Sometimes, people who already have a partner tend to find it difficult to find time to do activities that they are interested in. Therefore, take advantage of being single to pursue a hobby or other activity that interests you! If you don't know it already, try to push yourself to keep trying new things until you find an activity that interests you.
- Think about the type of personality and hobbies that suit you. For example, if you are athletic, you are more likely to enjoy a variety of physical activities, such as working out at the gym or hiking in the mountains. Meanwhile, if your artistic spirit is high, try painting or taking a cake decorating class.
- For added motivation, try to find ways to turn your hobby into a lucrative business. For example, if you have a passion for taking pictures, try taking more pictures of your closest relatives and friends to practice your skills. Then, start working part time as a photographer to fill your spare time.
Step 3. Go out with close friends, especially those who are also single
Do all single people feel lonely? Certainly not. So that you don't experience it, try spending more time traveling with the people closest to you, or going alone and opening up opportunities to meet new friends. In this way, you will undoubtedly be helped to have a richer and more enjoyable social life while single.
- Scheduling activities with friends who already have a partner or children is not easy, especially since family is their main consideration before making plans. That's why, it's best to find someone who is still single to accompany you to spend the day.
- As a bonus, expanding your social circle may make it easier for you to find someone special you can date.
Step 4. Volunteer to help improve the lives of others, as well as to enrich your perspective on life
Whenever singleness puts you in a bad mood, try to take the time to help those who are less fortunate in life. By doing so, your perspective will undoubtedly change and chances are, your life problems will be resolved afterwards.
Think about community needs that align with your interests, then look for ways to provide assistance. For example, if you constantly feel sad when you see wild animals on the street, try volunteering at the nearest animal shelter
Step 5. Remind yourself that change can always happen
Just because you're single right now, doesn't mean the right life partner won't be around forever, right? In fact, the right person may be waiting just down the road. Therefore, always enjoy life and be prepared to receive various surprises that may come along your journey.
No matter what happens, always remember that you are still a person of value and dignity
Method 3 of 3: Have a Healthy Perspective on Romantic Relationships
Step 1. Have high standards when it comes to choosing a partner
Sometimes, the temptation to be in a relationship with anyone, especially if you've been single for a long time, can be hard to resist. However, always remember that even if you feel lonely, being single is a much better option than being in an unhealthy relationship. To avoid making the wrong move, don't forget to identify the presence or absence of danger signals from people you've just met, and don't date anyone who can't support your happiness, and whose life principles don't align with yours.
- If you want to have a lasting relationship, make sure that you and your partner agree on important issues, such as housing, wanting to have children, and the role of religion in both of your lives.
- Also try not to set unrealistic standards. For example, if you've found someone who's kind, loving, and stable, but doesn't like the same television shows as you, don't walk away. Always remind yourself that differences in interests regarding television shows are subject to compromise, as opposed to differences in principles regarding benevolence.
Step 2. Learn to forgive your past relationship
Continuing to live after an unpleasant relationship is not easy, especially if there is no new person who can take your mind off your ex-partner. Unfortunately, maintaining these habits will actually prevent you from interacting with new people in the future, and is prone to limiting your happiness in the present.
- Try to let go of any remaining anger, whether directed at yourself or at your ex. Remember, these feelings are not productive, regardless of the trigger. However, keep analyzing the reasons behind the ending of your previous relationship. At the very least, doing so will help you not to repeat the same mistakes in the future.
- If you're having trouble coping with post-traumatic trauma, try seeing a therapist to deal with painful emotions and memories. If you are willing to put in the time and energy to do it, surely your body and mind will be helped to move on with life.
Step 3. Be patient
Regardless of the information you might get from movies, dating guides, or those closest to you who care about the development of your romantic relationship, there really isn't a perfect time to find a life partner. This means, just because you haven't experienced it yet, doesn't mean your relationship will be "dry" forever. Therefore, be patient until you are able to find someone who truly loves and appreciates you for who you are.
In fact, you'll actually be doing your potential partner a disservice if you're constantly bemoaning the single situation instead of focusing on developing yourself. Therefore, live your life to the best of your ability! Thus, when you finally meet the right person, you will be able to become the perfect partner for him
Step 4. Imagine if your story had a different ending
In fact, most of the frustration of being single comes from not being able to read the future. This means that you may feel afraid or worried if the condition does not change until you reach old age. To combat such feelings and/or thoughts, try to imagine all the possible life ramifications you might experience. List scenarios where you were able to find a partner, but also imagine the different types of careers you might pursue, places you might live, or lifestyles you might enjoy.
- For example, if tomorrow you have to shop for your weekly needs at the supermarket, imagine if at that moment you accidentally met a stranger. Later, the two of you exchanged phone numbers and ended up falling in love with each other.
- On the other hand, you may want to imagine other scenarios related to the process of pursuing your dream job, such as taking online skills classes or working part-time. In that situation, you may meet someone who is fun, intelligent, and supportive who might not appear if you just sit back and don't go through with the process of pursuing your dream career.