A negative view of life can have a serious impact on a person's health, relationships, and level of life satisfaction. Changing attitudes can be done by changing the mindset and paying attention consciously. The ability to be positive, grateful, and selectively forming new habits that have positive consequences for attitude change is a lifelong process.
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Method 1 of 3: Forming a Positive Attitude
Step 1. Free yourself from negativity in your life
Stay away from people, activities, or situations in your daily life that always cause stress. A change in attitude depends on your decision to live a new life. Maybe you want to stop drinking alcohol, taking drugs, overeating, or smoking. In order to improve your attitude, you must leave all the negative aspects of your daily life behind.
- Join a support group where people with the same motivation come together, which is to change their lives for the better.
- When making changes, maybe you will find positive things in your life so far. There is always a good side in everyone's life and by changing aspects of life that are not beneficial, you will become more aware of the attitude you want to develop.
Step 2. Make sure you are in a healthy relationship
If you are in a romantic relationship with someone, this will affect your attitude. A healthy relationship should make you feel positive and better about yourself. Maybe your relationship isn't healthy if you're feeling pressured to do things you don't like, are afraid to face the consequences if you have to go against your partner's opinion, or get angry or physically violent during an argument. These things will negatively affect your attitude.
- Differences of opinion are normal in a healthy relationship. Many relationships exist as a combination of the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships.
- Consult a counselor with your partner if you are unable to change an unhealthy relationship on your own.
- If you experience abuse, emotional or physical abuse, seek help from an officer who is used to dealing with domestic violence, such as seeking protection from the police or legal aid agencies.
Step 3. Find the positives
In any situation, there is always something to be grateful for. For example, when it rains, you can complain about getting wet or see the benefits to plants from being splashed with water. A person with a negative attitude will easily spot the bad side of any situation, but in order to form a positive attitude, you must try to look at the bright side. Share the positives you can find with others and keep negative notes to yourself.
- Make sure you can also find the positive side of yourself.
- Remember that anything can be an opportunity to learn a new skill, especially one that can be very difficult at first. If not, you can be grateful for the opportunity to learn new things in a bad situation.
- Don't stay in a certain situation because of something bad. Perhaps you can pretend that bad behavior, such as a racist boss, abusive partner, emotionally manipulative friend, is a good opportunity for you to learn to be patient and tolerant. While this may be true, staying in a relationship like this is not the best option. You can leave at any time is one of the best lessons from a bad situation.
Step 4. Be kind to others
The quickest way to feel good about yourself is to be nice to others. You can feel more positive by helping others, whether by giving way to other vehicles or writing letters to cheer up a friend.
- For best results, help others anonymously. For example, make a donation to orphanage children without your name being listed.
- Don't just think about how you want to be treated, but think about how other people want to be treated. For someone who is very shy, it may be better to congratulate her on her presentation in writing than to praise her out loud and hug her in front of other people.
Method 2 of 3: Be a Grateful Person
Step 1. Write down all the things you are grateful for
In everyday life, there are always things for which you can be grateful. However, being grateful every day is not an easy one. Finding what you are grateful for today can be more difficult than any other day. Get into the habit of writing every day so you can discipline yourself to find things you're grateful for, even when you're having a tough day.
- Several studies have concluded that handwritten lists are an important aspect of this process. The physical activity of writing by hand really helps you to concentrate and calm your mind.
- If you're still having trouble finding things you're grateful for, pretend you're grateful. This can help because you are learning to change your attitude. Think about the things you are grateful for and imagine if your life was worse than it is right now.
Step 2. Send a thank you card
Learning to say “thank you” is an important aspect of changing attitudes and living a positive life. Whether you want to thank someone for an action or something that happened five years ago, write it down and send this written greeting to him. Maybe you want to tell your primary school teacher that the support he gave you to start writing prompted you to start your own blog or you want to thank a good friend who always helps you.
- If you want to write a letter, but not send it, that's fine. The purpose of writing a thank you note is basically to practice expressing appreciation. Maybe you will never see this person again.
- Research has shown that people who write thank-you letters for at least 15 minutes every week for 8 weeks are more likely to have a positive attitude.
Step 3. Get in the habit of meditating or praying
Meditating or praying is a way of directing the mind to the present moment which is much needed in forming a positive attitude. Make a daily schedule to meditate or pray for 3-5 minutes at a time, it doesn't have to be too long. This method will change your attitude.
- For adherents of certain religions, pray according to their respective beliefs. You can learn to meditate and feel the benefits if it doesn't conflict with your beliefs.
- Meditating and praying is one way of practicing, even if you don't like it. There may not be any difference at first, but as you practice more, you will feel the changes. Over time, you will be able to calm down and remain at ease no matter what is happening around you.
Step 4. Prepare the thanksgiving jar
Place the jar at home. Write down one thing you are grateful for each day and then put it in a jar while noticing the good things that fill it. If you need a reminder, take a few sheets from the jar and read them aloud.
- Another way to make a thanksgiving jar is to put a coin in the jar every day after writing a gratitude journal. When it's full, use the money to do good in creative ways, such as paying for public transportation for someone you don't know or buying breakfast for a street sweeper.
- If you enjoy being creative, decorate the jars with ribbons, pictures, or stickers.
Step 5. Don't complain
Start spending more time discovering the good things in your life. Mindfully paying attention to the positive things you find is a pleasant experience to feel good.
- Recognize the urge to complain and try to distract yourself by looking for something positive.
- Complaining keeps your attention focused on what you want without any intention of making changes, leaving you feeling powerless.
Step 6. Take control of your thoughts and actions
The belief that you are powerless to change circumstances or relationships makes it difficult for you to change your attitude in everyday life. Instead, try to acknowledge your role so that the situation or relationship exists as it is today. If you can't see the role you're playing, try to accept the situation or change it.
- Find out what underlies your decisions in the past so you don't repeat the same mistakes in the future.
- Know that the worst situations are the result of a conscious decision you made yourself. Even if you plan well, bad things are still possible because no one is free from mistakes.
- Ask someone else for help if you can't find another way to think about a bad situation. Talk to a counselor, therapist, close friend, or other person you trust. You don't have to face this situation alone.
Method 3 of 3: Forming New Habits
Step 1. Get in the habit of getting up early
Waking up an hour early gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself, your goals, and your desire to change your attitude. Take the time to meditate or read a book. Taking time to plan and reflect on your daily life is a great way to change your attitude.
- If you prefer to spend an hour before bed at night, that's fine. However, many people find it more productive to set aside time before the morning.
- Don't waste time in the morning thinking about negative things, such as reading news that causes depression or accessing social media.
Step 2. Spend time with positive people
In order to change your attitude, try to reduce the time you spend with people who make you feel tired, unproductive, and depressed. Don't read the latest news that causes depression. Look for uplifting news. Do a diet by choosing positive things and reducing the intake of negative things every day.
- Don't ignore a friend who is going through a difficult time, but if life is always full of drama and trouble, it's best to stay away from him.
- If you can't avoid negative people (such as your employer or boss), take advantage of the other person's negative attitude. Try to find out why they are being negative and deal with it by being positive.
Step 3. Find what makes you happy
Even though it seems easy, you may not pay attention to it. Make a list to keep track of everything you do each day and then make a new list of things you enjoy. Compare the two lists to determine what you could change to make you feel happier.
- Think about what you could change by adjusting your daily routine to make more activities that make you happy.
- Take breaks several times a day to increase your happiness. When you're already feeling happy, think about the things that make you feel this way.
Step 4. Respond, not react
When faced with a stressful problem, think about why, use logic to find solutions, and do things that make sense. If you react, you remove the logical thinking stage and respond immediately. This creates more problems and disappointments.
- When you're in a new, stressful situation, it's best to stay calm and take a deep breath before acting or speaking.
- If possible, think about it before answering by saying, "I'll think about it first."
Step 5. Don't dwell on the past or the future
In order to form a new attitude, you must focus on the present. If you find yourself worrying about the future or recalling past difficulties, bring your attention back to the present.
- Use certain words or phrases to bring your attention back to the present, such as “now”, “now”, or “back”.
- Don't beat yourself up for losing focus. Remember that kindness is needed to form a positive attitude.
Step 6. Focus on just one thing
Research has shown that distracted attention increases stress and decreases concentration. A good ability to control your attention will have a positive effect on your happiness and attitude.
- Don't open multiple web pages at once and turn off your phone while watching TV. If you are washing dishes, turn off the TV. You can be positive if you do each task well one at a time.
- Set aside specific times if you have to do several tasks at the same time. After the time is up, complete your tasks one by one.
- Turn off the phone while chatting with friends.
- Calm your mind so that you are able to do every activity with full awareness.
