In order to be content in life, you need change and adapt to change. The good news? No one can do it for you but yourself. The first step is the most difficult, but with determination and the right mind, you can overcome anything in life. If you've had enough of your current circumstances, the opportunities elsewhere could have been (and will be) very different.
Part 1 of 3: Problem Identification
Step 1. Determine the problem
Regardless of what is going on in your life, chances are good that you know that your life is at a dead end. Is it at work? Friendship? Connection? Bad habits? Or as a whole? These five things and more? Or are you afraid to admit what the “real” issue is? You have to find out what's wrong before you can fix something. Be thankful, you have all the answers.
Maybe the answer is "everything". Oftentimes, one disappointment in one area of life can spill over into another. Do not worry. In the end, you are in control of your own life. Whether one thing needs to be fixed or everything needs to be fixed, it can all be done. Just needs more work. You will renew your mentality, but “it can all be done”
Step 2. Identify your mental block
Being stuck in a miserable job isn't the problem -- it's a symptom of a problem. Too afraid to apply for a new job or too lazy to get too comfortable with the easy routine. You know the phrase “You are your own biggest enemy?”, it applies here right. You are not blamed for the hand you control, but you are responsible for how you play it. What mindset keeps you from playing it better?
Being self-aware is the only way you can change your mindset. Changing the way you think can change your behavior. Changing behavior means changing what happens to you. If you want a problem to stop, you have to root it out. It may seem like the hard way and the less important approach to change your life, but it's not at all. This way of thinking must be overcome before change can occur
Step 3. Question the thoughts and beliefs that make you unhappy
Ready to be surprised? "You live in the world of your own mind." Think. Sit in your chair now and wrap up your thoughts. Everything right now is a construction of you, your way of thinking, and your mind. So this leads to several conclusions:
- Great. You have the power to live the way you want. If you believe that you are the Queen of England, you can. If you want to believe that you are happy, you must. You are the only person who can control your power when it comes to changing your life.
- Things that make you unhappy? Some of it is sheer imagination. True, you may have a bad and unavoidable job. You may be in a dead-end love, unemployed, addicted to drugs, have tried to commit suicide, or are just sitting still. However, “how do you see your situation” can look for ways to “make things better.” Make things easier. Easier to know, for sure; little things to do. Knowing this fact, then half the battle was won.
Step 4. Start acting into the form of work
If you want good things to happen to you, you have to be in a mindset that expects success. Have you ever approached a handsome boy or beautiful woman believing you were going to fail? Appropriate. Either you're just plain normal or you don't plan on going over to him, nervous, scared, and looking insecure. Things in life are not that different -- in order to be successful, you have to hope for it. So if you work with a negative attitude, that has to change.
Start thinking positively. This can be difficult, so start with 15 minutes per day. When negative thoughts arise, take time to rethink. You won't get used to it at first, but you will get used to it. For 15 minutes, “My life is bad” becomes “I am not happy with my life right now and I will act on it immediately.” Do this until you don't allow any negative thoughts at all. It will be easier to get out of bed and act when your mind is ready to go
Step 5. Allow yourself to be strong
Info at a glance: happiness doesn't come from eliminating your problems. There are poor people and hungry children who smile and laugh every day. There are people who are in the same situation as you, but who feel lucky to still be alive in the world. So, allow yourself to be a force to be happy, to see yourself as worthy of success. Allow yourself to be in control of your life and don't keep pretending. Take control. You can.
You are in the situation right now, so you must have the motivation to do something. That's what you need and have! Immediately make a decision to do something. When you decide, things around you will change. Gotta change, can't help but change. Lock this motivation and let it grow until it almost explodes. Cultivate thirst, grow motivation. Good things will soon come true
Step 6. Find the passion you're after. It's hard to change your life if you don't know where you're headed. Be passionate about a goal, dream, or thing you want to achieve – instead of looking for a needle in a haystack that may not be there
So, what is your goal? What do you want to achieve in the next six months or a year?
Do you see yourself living in the same city? Maybe another job? Working on a new project or business? School? Slimmer? There are no wrong answers here. You can also have more than one goal
Part 2 of 3: Planting Seeds
Step 1. Develop an action-packed plan
With the trajectory clearer now, it's time to come up with a less stringent plan. List six do-it-yourself things to start exploring your future. It doesn't have to start today or tomorrow, but you know where you're going and what you want to do.
We've determined our ultimate goal (going back to school, losing weight, quitting smoking, etc.), now how do you get there? Here he is. What are some steps (both small and large), that can get you moving towards your goal? So when the time comes and you are ready, you know that the future is in your hands
Step 2. Remove the live load
Whether it's quitting smoking, breaking up with your pathetic boyfriend, or moving out of the apartment you share with a dangerous roommate, whatever it is, do it. These are the things that can hold you back. They facilitate the emergence of negative thought patterns and turn obstacles into very difficult mountains to climb. It can be really painful at first, but you know you can do it. Letting go of your toxic best friend sucks. Living in a bad apartment alone, sucks. Living with withdrawal sucks too. However, these things can be done and you will get better eventually, unfortunately you know that too, right?
Things like leaving your job fall into a different category. In the present and future you need money to survive. But in reality, you can quit your job and move in with someone for a while, if you have to. You can spend your weekends looking for a new job. No one said it was beautiful. Sometimes, the situation has to get worse before it gets better. You have to be ready to face all of this
Step 3. Find a mentor
Why? Because we all need someone who is always there-be it advice, a shoulder to lean on, and a source of information. If you think that no one around you has ever given up hope, you are most likely wrong. Part of being human is facing battle -- all you have to do is ask. It is very unlikely that you will know the dirty history of everyone in your circle.
However, usually when you read the phrase find a mentor, a name or two pops into your head. This is a natural process. If you have to ask someone to be your mentor, then that person is not your mentor. It is simply a role fulfilled by someone who is always there for you. You just need to take advantage of their presence in your life by opening up and asking for their presence when you need it
Step 4. Stop being fake
Don't be sarcastic -- we're all fake. We say yes to invitations we don't want to attend. We smile and nod, even though in our hearts we don't agree. We all do what society tells us to do, without further question. So start asking. Say no thanks when you feel like you can't go out with your coworkers. Now is the time to be selfish and build yourself up. It's okay to be a little rough -- it's an excuse to do what you want to do.
You won't hurt other people's feelings by being yourself. Reject an offer with a No, thank you. I'm not interested, not offensive. Others may ask further, but they don't need an explanation if you don't want to give one. Think of yourself right now. If they have a problem with it, that's their problem
Step 5. Exercise, get enough sleep, and eat a healthy diet
Your mind and body are interconnected -- if your body feels healthy, it will be easier for you to think positively. Three things the body must possess when conquering the world? Exercise, sleep quality, and eat healthy food. If you don't have time for these three things, make time for them. You owe it to yourself.
- For exercise, make 3 to 4 sessions a week. Whether it's taking a boxing class or walking your dog in the compound, it's all good. Get outside and get some exercise. Research shows that exercising can actually make you happier
- Get enough sleep -- your decision-making abilities depend on this. Serious. When our bodies and minds are tired, we don't have the energy to choose what is actually good for us. Need an example? The instant noodles you decide to eat in the middle of the night is not a good idea. So give your body enough sleep 7-9 hours per night. This will affect the 15-17 hours you have each day, more than you realize.
- Your diet can also affect how you feel. Consumption of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, white meat, and low-fat dairy can affect how you feel.
Step 6. Motivate yourself
The slightest thing can make a big difference. Jumping out of bed in the morning as opposed to hitting the snooze button will make you feel more energized. Listening to music to a fast beat, writing positive notes to yourself, giving yourself gifts--all these things will build and encourage you to stay on the right path.
Turn your alarm into something cool. If you're like most of us, you wake up in the morning and all you can think about is, …No. Starting the day on a negative note can spoil the whole day. So start off as positive as possible. Turn your alarm into something that refreshes you (The Circle of Life or The Ride of Valkyries). Can't be. Of course, yes! more easily than you might think
Part 3 of 3: Growing into a Better You
Step 1. Build a routine
Studies show that people who are successful and feel self-sufficient usually have a routine. Of course, this routine is not sleeping around and eating a bucket of fried chicken. However, their routine allows them to conserve energy. When you have a daily routine, you will become automatic and can set aside your mental focus to get rid of problems that arise. You can make a lot of decisions in one day if you allow your routine to save your energy for more important things.
Your routine should include all three of the things mentioned (eat, exercise and sleep) as well as anything that makes you happy. A little work, a little play, and a little time to evaluate yourself, whatever it takes (meditation/finding a job/school again, etc.)
Step 2. Make an important decision about anything in the morning
Why? You have not been too tired both emotionally and physically. Decisions you make when you're tired can have a big impact -- like the instant noodles you eat in the middle of the night. At night, we have done a lot of work during the day, we become less alert and make ourselves weak decisions. Do not do it!
So if something big comes up, bring it to bed. You want to have as much energy as possible to make decisions
Step 3. Do a random favor
The easiest thing is to focus on other people. It's easy for you and it's fun -- plus you're making the world a better place. In a moment, you will forget about your problems and focus on other people's problems.
Helping others gives us a different spirit. Do it when we don't have enough energy to help ourselves. For example, such as making a donation in the form of money or used clothes, or setting aside your time voluntarily for people who can't afford it. Collect good karma
Step 4. Immediately line up
No one can run from point 0 to point 60 in 3.5 seconds, and don't expect this to happen to you either. We all need help and point it in the right direction. No Olympian can start a race from a seated position, right? So whatever you need to do, do it.
Sign up for that class. Find the right therapist. Start looking for vacancies seriously. Jump into online dating. Participate in Alcoholics Anonymous. Call your mother and ask for her forgiveness. Take part in sports activities that you always pass by when you get home from work. The first step is the most difficult and actually everything will be easy after that
Step 5. Do what you have always wanted to do
You've positioned your mind and body properly, so now is the time. Do the thing you are afraid to do. You have to bite the bullet. One at a time, no matter how far down the road you are to change your life.
Classes you've signed up for? Take it. Your therapist? Immediately make an appointment. Submit a job application. Go on a date. Come to the meeting. Suggest lunch with the family. Get on your gym equipment. Surprise yourself and see the things you can make can be so much fun and will be very hard to stop
Step 6. Re-evaluate periodically
This is a diet for your soul. Any diet that is useless should be abandoned, so regular evaluation is very important. Are you starting to feel better? Is everything starting to line up neatly in one line? Are your efforts enough? Just like when you add weight to your workout, you have to push your mind to move beyond the boundaries.
- What works for you now may not be enough for the next few weeks. Stick with the effort you started doing, then add and add more.
- To the same end, what you thought might work might just fail. If this is the case, talk to a mentor and get advice on what you should do. Do you have to keep pushing, ignoring, or are there other tactics you should adopt?
Step 7. Don't give up
You are in a very uncertain position: misstep and it is very easy to give up. So now, focus on always having motivation. Focus on the positive. Focus on breathing. Focus on yourself. If you refuse to give up, then what? You won't give up.