In a world full of fakes, being a real person seems a very difficult challenge. But, if you want the world to see you as a unique and authentic individual, here's what you need to do.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Knowing Yourself
Step 1. Take time to get to know yourself
This means not the self-image you always maintain in front of your group of people, family, or close friends. Find a place to be alone and reflect to really know who you are. Who are you really when you are alone?
If you are willing and interested, try meditation to reduce stress levels and clear your mind. Meditation will allow you to see yourself more clearly
Step 2. Ignore what society expects and accepts
Every day, we will see a picture of what is accepted in today's society, and it is always changing (which proves that in fact the ideal does not exist). To be who you really are, you have to stop trying to live up to standards that don't exist. In this world there are no trendy, hipster, or anything like that. There are only individuals, who actually have their own uniqueness. You need more compelling reasons than brands and trends when choosing to use or own something.
Get rid of your aspirations or desires to be accepted in certain groups or social circles. If it is you that the group is looking for, then they will be looking for you, when you have found your true self
Step 3. Make a list of facts about yourself
Unfortunately, in today's world, we are overwhelmed by the expectations and demands of society and sometimes it makes us lose our sense of direction and identity. We spend years (sometimes decades, or even a lifetime) adjusting to being accepted in society, and inevitably bury our true identity behind various collections of masks. Take a few minutes to write down all the things that really define you, whether it's what you do, what you are, what your point of view is, or whatever it is about who you really are.
When you have a list of dozens of things about yourself (even as simple as “I prefer to wear my sandals” or “I prefer adventure to certainty”), put it in a place you see often and read the list as often as possible. Then, when you want to make a decision or make a commitment, or when you look back over your day, see if your actions and thoughts match up with who you really are on the list. It's possible that you've done things that don't reflect who you are
Step 4. Think about your family history and traditions
We don't always reflect the people we come from. However, we cannot avoid that our identity comes from the influence of history. Many people desperately shy away from the past, such as changing the way you spell names to sound more reasonable and correct, or giving too much latitude to others to change your habits and culture. Where do you come from? Your parents certainly had a hand in shaping who you are, and your grandparents had a hand in shaping your parents. Here are some things you need to think about:
- The way you were educated. What do you remember most about the way you were raised and raised? In what ways was your upbringing different from others?
- Your location. How did your location or area of origin shape you? What hobbies and personality do you have because of the influence of your location or area of origin?
- Things you hate and love. How many of the things you love and hate turn out to be the same as the rest of your family? How many things you hate and love turn out to be family influences?
Step 5. End the relationship with the destructive friend
Humans naturally want to be surrounded by other people, even if they are destructive or doing bad things to us. However, in order for you to become a true person, and to be your happy and natural self, the people who are ruining your life should be left behind. There was no reason to be friends with such a person. Ponder for 30 seconds and think about it, and you will know exactly who they are.
- In this world, there must be people who are not meant for or not suitable for you. Breaking up with other people can be difficult, especially if we are already friends and we feel that it is a bad thing to do. But keep in mind, this is not a selfish act. Granted, this is in your own interest, but if you don't act in your own self-interest, who else? You are not selfish, but logical.
- Forget all the popular trends unless the trend is indeed suitable and in accordance with who you are. Trends themselves are also temporary and then change--why would you want to change your identity so quickly? Choose your own style and what you like. If you really like wearing jeans and a T-shirt, then go for it.
Step 6. Stop pretending
Assuming that we have become a sincere and honest person is an easy thing. But sometimes we don't reflect those thoughts into our daily actions. Sometimes we lie that your friend is liked by a lot of people (but we don't), or we implicitly ask for something from a friend because we don't feel comfortable asking for too much, and so on. We don't become who we really are, and instead follow what other people want us to be. Stop it.
Two less sincere actions that we often do are avoiding other people or lying just to make other people happy. If you find yourself sacrificing your happiness to make other people happy, then you are not being honest with yourself. If you don't want to say or do something just because you're afraid they'll be angry or embarrassed, then you're not being honest with yourself either. Those little voices will often make us stop showing our true self. Ignore it
Part 2 of 3: Rediscovering Your Self
Step 1. Determine what it means to be a real person
This is not as easy as it seems, especially considering the influence of the media today. Granted, we are all unique individuals, but few are truly immune from the influence of all the media and social pressures. Since it's difficult, first determine what being a true person means to you. You determine this yourself, no one else.
Does being a real person mean upholding your own fashion sense? Or say whatever is on your mind? Or show your emotions, whatever they are? Or ignore what was popular at the time? There are many points of view you can take on this concept, and it's up to you to decide for yourself
Step 2. Spend time with people who have a positive effect on you
If you've eliminated destructive friends from your life, then this is not a difficult thing. Who are the people you always want to hang out with or meet? Who always makes you feel good and comfortable about yourself? Then, think about this: what kind of person will you become after meeting that person?
We all have different versions of ourselves. There are good versions, there are bad versions, and neither one is the same. But what you should prioritize is always show the best version of you, which is certainly the truest and most natural version
Step 3. Realize
Have you ever heard the saying that we "Stop a minute and smell the roses"? Most of us today are very fixated and dependent on technology, and do not live what used to be called a “normal life”. We sometimes forget and ignore our surroundings, what we feel, how we interact and our influence on others, and so on. So, be aware! Pay attention to what is happening around you. Always take the time to find out four things you didn't know before.
Sometimes, we have a lot of thoughts in our heads and sometimes it is difficult to realize that we are too absorbed in our own preoccupations, even since childhood. The easiest, try to pay attention to other people around you. How do they calm other people down? How do they say or say something? How do they position their bodies? When you realize that someone isn't saying what they really mean, you'll realize you're doing the same, and make you self-conscious
Step 4. Don't be afraid to expose your weaknesses
When you stop pretending and no longer live up to what society expects and accepts, you will start to feel insecure because you are showing your true self, including your weaknesses. You're no longer installing the self-defense mechanisms you always guarded against, and that can be scary. But when you do this, the fear will go away and you will start to get used to being honest and sincere when expressing yourself.
Everything has its right place and time. If in the middle of class you get a text message from your mother scolding you until you want to cry, it's best to hold back your crying while in class. Set priorities. If your friend says something that makes you angry, don't throw a tantrum in front of him. You don't have to immediately expose your weaknesses and make decisions too quickly. Keep in mind what is rational and what is not
Step 5. Be honest
This is a difficult thing. To be a true person means to be an honest person. But being honest is tough, especially in today's truly sensitive world. So sensitive, even doctors can not tell that the patient is obese or overweight. So, how can you be honest? Do it carefully.
For example, when people ask "do I look fat in this outfit?" Instead of immediately saying "Yeah, you look fat", try saying "Yeah, the stripes don't seem right for you." You're still being honest (because his motive is to make him look fat), but you're putting your focus on something other than the word "fat."
Step 6. Know the impact you can make as an individual
Walking in and out without realizing how trivial things like your mood can have a certain impact on those around you is something that is easy and often overlooked. Sometimes your friend needs support or someone to listen to their story but you are too busy and ignore it. Sometimes you flirt with someone in front of another friend who is in love with you. Your true self will also have an impact on those around you. If you use your strengths for a good cause, you can get positive impact from around you in return.
Have you ever met someone who could make the room atmosphere more cheerful as soon as he appeared? It was the result of showing his true self. You can also do the same
Step 7. Notice how you want things to look
Just imagine this: zombies appear and attack the city. Everyone you know is dead. You run away and take refuge in an abandoned city, and can do whatever you like. All doors are open for you. So, where are you going to start walking? What do you look like when you look in the mirror at a time like that? What is in front of you at a time like this is who you really are.
Some people feel proud because they think they are beautiful. They like to put on makeup, do their hair, wear nice clothes, and so on. It's up to them. There are also those who don't like such things, but that's also up to them. If you really want to wear expensive stuff and heavy makeup, go for it. Just make sure that it's the real you
Part 3 of 3: Interacting with Others
Step 1. Show the real you
Many of us are busy creating a certain image and not showing our true identity. We often try to look as masculine as possible, as feminine as possible, intellectually, and so on. Stop it. Just show your true self.
Some people claim to try to look "cool" by throwing away who they are. If you spent the afternoon playing cards with your grandmother, tell me that you spent the afternoon playing cards with your grandmother. There's nothing to hide. After all, lying will only make you emotionally exhausted
Step 2. Connect with people one at a time, not all at once
When you speak in front of a group of people, you naturally feel like getting to know them all by observing them from the surface. Many people do this. But a better way is actually making eye contact with one person at a time, and getting to know them deeply. It will make the person you're staring at feel better when interacting with you. The same is true in your daily life.
Next time you are chatting with a lot of people, concentrate on them one at a time. You can't really respect someone and show who you are when you try to accommodate everyone at once. If you focus on them one by one, besides being able to show your true self, other people will also be amazed by your sociability
Step 3. Say what you really mean, and really mean everything
Flattering, gossiping, and saying things just to get you into a certain group is something we all do. While the intentions may be good, you should really pay attention to what you think and say what you think as honestly as possible.
There will definitely be people out there who hate you. There will be people who will resent your frank and outspoken words. As long as you have no bad intentions, it's not your problem. Most people usually value honest people more, because not many people dare to be outspoken
Step 4. Smile when you can smile naturally and sincerely
Don't fake a smile just because you want to make other people happy. The same is true for other emotions. If you show your true self to the world, the world will see you as who you really are, and that's what matters to you and everyone else.
The same is true when you do various activities. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. If you don't like drinking, don't drink. If you don't like going to discotheques, don't go. If you prefer to do something your group doesn't like to do, then do it. You always have the best way to spend your time, either alone or with other people
Step 5. Reduce postures that emphasize strength
When talking to other people, we are sometimes tempted to assert strength, either verbally or through body language. We often puff out our chests, cross our arms, and wait for someone else to come over. Stop it. That's not a true personal way. You shouldn't worry too much about image or snobbery when it comes to being a real person.
- When you meet other people, be friendly. They won't hurt you unless they have a gun or a knife and point your finger at you. Other than that, crossing or folding your hands will do you no good.
- Showing confidence is a good thing. However, you must know the difference between natural and artificial confidence. If you're feeling completely relaxed, your confidence should look natural.
Step 6. Don't make this a race
You don't have to show off how true you are as an individual when you talk to other people. When someone claims to know someone famous, don't suddenly feel rivaled. That person had just shown that he was dishonest and low self-esteem, and that was a shame. Don't reply by doing the same.
Unfortunately, many of us try to do this to look cooler when we meet other people. We are sometimes too proud and proud of ourselves or try to show off by telling our achievements. That's not the right way of interacting. Next time someone says “yeah, I just got promoted,” just congratulate them and move on with your life, because that's really all you need to do
Step 7. Don't push
Sometimes there are people who are difficult to match with us. This person will make us feel like we are not ourselves because interacting with him feels like a fake. If you find yourself in this situation, don't push it. That person probably wasn't meant to be in your life, and that's okay. Maybe later, maybe never, but definitely not now.
Step 8. Give sincere compliments
If you are going to die tomorrow, you may have regrets for not telling someone how much you care. It would be a shame if you really didn't get to say it until you died. So don't hold back. Let people know that you really appreciate them. In return, the person will appreciate you too.
If you find yourself giving fake compliments to maintain a conversation or want something from the person, it's a sign that your actions were not sincere. Give yourself time to really understand and like the person
Step 9. Reflect on yourself
After you've spent time correcting your actions to other people and the rest of the world, now take some time to reflect and reflect on them. What is difficult for you to do? What has clearly changed about you? Remember the few times you were truly yourself today and the several times you experienced self-improvement. Then, think about what you can achieve tomorrow?
- If you can help, make a list of people you consider real people. Sometimes we find it difficult to see our own behavior and it is much easier to notice the behavior of others and imitate it when it feels right.
- Look in the mirror every time you wake up. Think that's how people will see you, then find a way to show who you really are. When you do that, you will feel free about yourself.
Step 10. Being real doesn't mean being outspoken
You have to know when to be tactful and when to be honest.
Tips
- Remember, not everyone values a real person, and some may find your efforts naive or oversimplifying.
- Politely decline invitations to step out of your comfort zone, especially if they would undermine your integrity or involve unnecessary risks.
Warning
- Don't try to change yourself drastically overnight. Get to know yourself and try to be yourself slowly, little by little, but naturally.
- When you are yourself, people will treat you differently.
