Being considerate means taking time to think about how the other person is feeling. To be truly mindful, you need to know how to feel what other people are feeling, to have wisdom, and to be kind and friendly. Sometimes, we can overthink what we need and want and we can forget that there are other people around us who may be hurt or offended by our actions. Making the decision to be mindful can help us to be aware of those around us while still meeting our own needs. If you want to know how to become a more caring person, see step 1.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Having a Mindful Point of View
Step 1. Put yourself in someone else's shoes
Before you talk to your friend, coworker, neighbor, or teacher, ask yourself how the person was feeling at that moment. Maybe you're angry with your roommate and want to tell him he's too messy, or you want to ask your best friend to stop calling you too much. Well, before you talk to them about how you really feel, you need to think about how they would react, and try to think what they think. While you don't have to completely change what you want to say in their favor, thinking about the situation from the other person's point of view can help you to say what you want to say while reducing the chances of hurting their feelings.
- Maybe your roommate really is a total mess, but he's also the one who's always out shopping. You need to find a way to compliment her good qualities as well as her bad qualities so she doesn't feel like you don't value her as her roommate.
- Maybe your best friend calls you often because she's been feeling really lonely since her boyfriend broke up with her. You can still say what you want to say, but keep an eye on his feelings and try to think from his point of view before you speak.
Step 2. Anticipate the needs of others
Part of being mindful is knowing what the other person wants before they know it. If you're going out to lunch with your coworkers, have enough handkerchiefs for everyone. If you are going to the beach with friends, bring an extra umbrella for them. If you know your husband will be working late, leave dinner for him in the fridge. Pay attention to what other people need, before they even know it.
- People will be grateful and amazed by your attention
- You shouldn't do this because you want something in return, but because you really want to help other people.
Step 3. Think of other people when you are in public
Most ordinary people don't think about them when they're out in public. Next time you're out, think about how your attitude will affect other people, and how they will react. You might think that it's okay to talk loudly with your best friend on the phone at the coffee shop while people around you are studying, but in reality, you may be really upsetting them. Here are some other ways to make sure you're paying attention to other people in public:
- Try to speak in a low voice, when on the phone or talking to friends
- Avoid taking up a lot of space
- If you're in a classroom, avoid opening anything that's noisy and distracting others.
- See where you're going instead of texting while walking.
Step 4. Think about other people's economic circumstances
Before you ask your friends or people you know to raise money to buy something, you need to think about their economic situation as much as possible. If your friends are broke, don't take them out for dinner to the most expensive place in town – unless you treat them to something. You may not think this way when your own finances are still good, but you don't want to put other people in an uncomfortable situation because they can't afford it. Here are a few ways to make sure you think about other people's economic situations:
- If you are having a wedding, think about your guests. Can your bridesmaid buy a $2 million dress or go to a party in Tahiti? Can your guests pay for the plane to reach your place? Of course, this is your event, but you have to make sure that the people involved don't have to break their bank accounts in order to attend.
- If you're traveling with people who don't have a lot of money, find cheaper things to do, like go to happy hour or watch a fun movie instead of clubbing or going to the movies. Don't embarrass others by making them admit they can't afford it.
Part 2 of 3: Be Attentive in Conversations
Step 1. Choose the right time
Part of being attentive is knowing the best time to say something. Even the most casual comments can sound like insults if they are said at the wrong time. Make sure that the person you're talking to is still in a good mood when you say it, and that you're not interrupting anything or causing trouble because of what you're saying. Here are some ways to choose the time:
- For example, maybe you have some good news, such as you are getting married soon. This news would be great at lunchtime with your friends, but if your coworker is talking about her mother's funeral, you might as well talk about it another time.
- On the other hand, if you have bad news, make sure the person is in a good state of mind. If your friend is talking about her pregnancy, this is not the time to talk about how you broke up with your boyfriend.
- If you have negative feedback to a coworker, make sure you do it at the right time. Set aside time to talk to the person instead of talking about bad feedback when the person doesn't expect it
Step 2. Choose your words carefully
If you want to be noticed, you need to know the words you use are just as important as the message you want to convey. If you want people to understand quickly and not feel bad, you need to think about the words you will use when you speak. Whether looking for a way to give negative feedback or even an appropriate way to compliment someone, it's important to remember that words mean something. Here are some things to consider when you choose your words:
- Even if you give negative feedback, you can find a subtle way of saying it. You can tell a coworker that he or she "could be even more efficient" than saying she's "sluggish" or you can tell your best friend that you feel "inundated" from being contacted over and over instead of saying that she's "sticky like glue."
- You can also make your message sound less insulting if you don't directly use the word "you". For example, instead of telling your boyfriend, "You're really paranoid," you could say "I'm worried about trust issues in our relationship," this still delivers the message without making your boyfriend feel like you're making fun of him.
Step 3. Don't monopolize the conversation
Another thing people who don't care about are used to talking non-stop without realizing that the other person doesn't care at all. It's okay if you have an interesting story to tell, but if you always talk and don't let other people say it, it's called not caring. The next time you talk in a group or with other individuals, be aware of how much you are talking compared to other people. Make sure you give the other person a chance to talk, ask how they're doing, and how they're feeling. This is really caring.
- If you're having a quick chat with a friend in the hallway or over lunch, make sure you both have time to talk how you're doing. If you're just talking about your current day and what you're going to do next week and then walking away, that's not paying attention.
- You should also be attentive when you think about the subject you are discussing. Would your coworkers want to listen to your play with your best friend they never met? Or will your best friend listen to a long discussion about a long meeting you have at work?
Step 4. Say thank you
To thank others sincerely and honestly for what they have done for you is also kind. You can thank them for big things like letting you stay with them while you're looking for a new apartment, or small things like bringing you coffee. No matter how small the deed, it's important to thank people so they know you appreciate them, and understand that you don't just expect others to do good to you. Look them in the eye and focus your attention on them when you say thank you so that you show that you really mean it.
- If you are a guest at a friend's house, or someone has done something very nice for you, give them a bottle of wine or a gift basket to show that you really care. Sometimes, just saying “Thank you!” not enough.
- Get in the habit of making thank-you cards to show that you appreciate them. This is a thoughtful gift and an often overlooked gesture.
- You can also go beyond just saying “thank you” and explain how much the person's actions mean to you. For example, you might say something like “Jackie, thank you so much for cooking dinner for me yesterday. I was really stressed from work that day, and you really helped me to stay calm.”
Step 5. Apologize when you do something wrong
Attentive people also have their drawbacks. If you've made a mistake, like you've hurt someone or accidentally bumped into someone, you should make sure to apologize for your actions. Don't just say "sorry" and walk away like you don't care at all; look him in the eye, say how sorry you are, and say it won't happen again. Taking responsibility for something is much better than leaving it behind and hoping it will go away on its own. While apologizing can feel uncomfortable, the other person will appreciate it.
Attentive people know when to apologize because they are aware when they have hurt someone's feelings, even if they didn't mean to. If you've hurt someone, don't say “I'm sorry you felt bad when I…” This kind of language actually blames the other person and avoids responsibility
Step 6. Be wise
Having wisdom is an important part of being a mindful person. Being wise means knowing how to get your message across without insulting those around you; this doesn't mean that you have to lie. To be wise, you need to know how to give feedback or criticism in a polite and kind way so that you can get the message across without hurting people's feelings. You can also be an active listener and be aware of those around you so you can be sure that they will respond in the desired way.
- If you insult people, they will be less receptive to your criticism. Providing information in a better way will make others feel better “and” can make them change; this is the best situation.
- For example, if you want to tell your coworker that he is working slowly, you could say “I think your projects are always detailed and complete. However, I wonder if you can maintain the quality of your work and increase your efficiency a little.”
Part 3 of 3: Act Mindfully
Step 1. Do good deeds for people when you see that they need help
Being attentive means being aware of when someone will need help before they ask for it. This can mean anything from opening the door for someone on crutches to bringing your best friend lunch when she's had a tough day. As long as you don't help people who don't need help, you'll act considerate. Keep an eye on all situations, big or small, whether you can help someone. Always observe if someone needs something, even if he doesn't dare to ask for it. Here are some examples of how to be mindful:
- Hold the door for someone else
- Prepare a seat for someone else
- Prepare a place for the person sitting next to you
- Let an older person take your seat if you are on a bus or train
- Bring coffee for a coworker if you're buying it
- Help your parents by doing homework when they are busy
- Place orders for your loved ones or roommates.
Step 2. Have a good attitude
Another part of being attentive is showing a good attitude. If you want to be nice to other people, you shouldn't be rude, noisy, or disruptive in social situations. You don't have to be like a prince, but you do have to be able to have a good basic attitude so that people around you feel comfortable. Between walking with friends or visiting your grandma's birthday, you have to show a good attitude, although the meaning of "good manners" changes slightly depending on the person. Here are some examples of having a good attitude:
- Avoid swearing or being too vulgar
- If you burp, say sorry first
- Put a handkerchief on your lap when eating to avoid spilling food all over the body
- Don't drink water too loud
- Make way for people on the roadside
- Avoid disgusting or inappropriate topics in front of an inappropriate audience
Step 3. Divide
Another way to be mindful is to share with others. Maybe you brought a box of delicious cookies from your mom and can't wait to eat them, but you need to ask your coworkers if they'd like. Maybe you brought a cool sticker to school and you can't wait to decorate your notebook. Ask friends if they want to do it together. You can also share your clothes, your place, or something else that matters to you and those around you. Remember, if you share something you don't care about, it's not sharing.
Sharing isn't just for little kids and siblings. This is an important quality for being mindful at any age
Step 4. Be on time
One of the most selfish things you can do is think that your time is more valuable than anyone else's. You may be doing this by accident, but if you show up late – especially if you are habitually late – it can send a message to others that you don't really care about their time. Whether it's 5 minutes late for class, half an hour late for work, or 45 minutes late to catch up with friends for lunch, this will really make the other person feel annoyed and think you don't care about their time.
- Of course, if you're going to a party or an event with a lot of people, showing up on time might not matter – the fact is that getting to a party on time can start to feel a little awkward. But if you make one or two people wait, that's selfish.
- If you know you're going to be late, don't lie about where you are ("I'm only a few miles away!") because you think it will feel better. Be honest if you're going to be 10 or 15 minutes late
Step 5. Perform random good actions
This is another part of being mindful. Instead of just being kind to people you know and love, you can also be kind to strangers, especially those who need help. You can hold doors for people, tip at the nearest coffee shop, compliment people you pass on the street, give out one-hour parking tickets to people who have just pulled into the parking lot, or help carry old people's shopping. to his car.
- Get used to helping people will make you a better person
- Of course, you have to make sure that the person really needs help. You don't want to bother someone who just wants to be alone.
Step 6. Keep your place clean
It's important to keep your place clean, whether you want to be just a house guest, a roommate or a caring family member or a caring human being. If you live alone, you still need to clean your place too, but you need to be kinder if there are other people around you. Make your bed, take out the trash, or clean your dishes, and don't make someone else do it for you. This is an important part of being mindful at any age.
Selfish people will feel that the world revolves around them, and will expect others to clean up their trash. This shows that they are more important than others and expect others to act accordingly. You don't want to be this kind of person
Tips
- Do good to others
- Be patient when trying to do this attitude!
- Practice will get you used to it!
- Another way to practice being mindful is to volunteer to work with children; make sure that you believe what they think even if you don't actually believe it
