Losing a friend is very painful. You have to give yourself time to recover, whether it's because the friendship broke after something went wrong, someone moved, or if he passed away. Friendship with him may not be forgotten, but you can still be happy and meet new people. Keep your positive attitude and move on with life.
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Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Failed Friendships
Step 1. Allow yourself to grieve
Acknowledge that you are missing out, regardless of whether the friendship suddenly breaks or slowly drifts apart. Give yourself time and opportunity to grieve. Ways that are often done to manage emotions are:
- Writes letters, but doesn't send them. Instead, burn the letter. The goal is to write what you want to say, not to have it read by the friend in question.
- Talk to people you trust. Don't pick a friend who is also his friend, or talk bad things about him. Focus on your own feelings.
- Meditation to clear your mind and focus on your emotions. The sooner you know what you're feeling, the sooner you can acknowledge those feelings, and move on with your life.
Step 2. Accept errors, but not all of them
Consider the possibility that you might also contribute to the problem in this situation. Even if you're not a bad friend, there may be some mistakes you're making unknowingly. However, he also has a contribution. Don't blame yourself for everything, but avoid the urge to say he's at fault.
For example, if you've been hurt and said something mean to him because he didn't keep his word, you have to accept that your actions were immature. To be fair, he's also guilty of not keeping his word and keeping you waiting
Step 3. Don't try to fix the past
After taking the time to grieve, you have to move on with your life. Try not to think too much about him. Instead, focus on the present moment and what you are doing right now.
- If you're having trouble focusing on the present, relax your mind and do something you enjoy. For example, listening to music and meeting other friends to enjoy time.
- Remember that close and old friendships take more time to forget, and that everyone has their own pace of grieving. There is no definite time limit.
Step 4. Find new hobbies and activities, or regular social activities
Keeping yourself busy outdoors can distract you from losing a friend. You'll also have something to look forward to. However, the most important thing is to enjoy the activity.
For example, joining a book club, shopping, dining with other friends, doing something creative, or playing a sport
Step 5. Take care of other friendships
Now, you can devote time that was focused on old friendships to other friendships. You can do this by maintaining relationships with old friends or making new friends. Start chatting with other people in your school, work, or home environment. You may not think that there is much in common between you and them.
- Don't be too dependent or demanding. People will get tired of it.
- If you want to make new friends, saying "hi" is enough to start a conversation.
Step 6. Focus on yourself
The fantasy of revenge may tempt the hurting side of you, but in reality, it only drains energy that could otherwise be used to enjoy life. If you focus on the fun stuff, you won't have time to obsess over this ex-friend. If you have trouble, divert your attention to another friend.
- For example, you can devote your attention to a task or hobby to be more successful in that area.
- Being physically active can help if you hold a lot of anger.
Step 7. Resist the urge to talk about him
Talking badly about your ex-friends, rumors or the truth will only tarnish your image. Others will think your actions are petty and immature, and will hesitate to approach you. Badmouthing old friends will also make you emotionally attached and have a hard time moving on.
Method 2 of 3: Coping With Losing Friends Due To Moving
Step 1. Keep in touch
If possible, try to arrange a meeting once or twice a year. Keep in touch via phone and text messages. You can also use social media to stay close. These tools connect the two of you without having to spend a lot of time, energy, and money to keep the friendship going.
Don't expect much. Chatting once a week or a month is realistic, while daily chats usually end quickly
Step 2. Explore your new world
Whoever moves, you or him, your world is bound to change. This is an opportunity to explore and discover new things. Go somewhere you've never been (this is easy if you're the one moving). Try meeting new people, and share your experiences with old friends.
The goal wasn't to make him jealous. You tell stories just to stay connected to them
Step 3. Join a club or group
Clubs, groups and other societies provide the opportunity to meet new people who share your interests. There, you can make friends and have fun. You can find information about meeting different clubs at local coffee shops and shops. Such information is usually also available in newspapers or the internet.
You can join an internet group if it's hard to find fun activities in the area, or if you want to start online
Step 4. Make new friends
You don't need to rush into making new friends, but open up. Accept invitations from people you just met, or ask them to do something fun. Friendships are usually not instantaneous, but you must take the first step for peace of mind.
If you ignore the need to make friends in your own area, you may end up demanding too much of your distant friend and tire him out. As a result, friendships may be cut off
Method 3 of 3: Coping With the Loss of a Friend Dies
Step 1. Take time to grieve
Attend funerals and/or mourning events. Write him a letter to express your feelings. Realize that it's natural to feel confused and hurt after a friend leaves you for good, and avoiding sadness isn't going to make you any better. Instead, admit that you are sad so you can move on with your life and recover.
Step 2. Relive his life
Most people focus the memory of friends and family around the time of his death. Remembering the last moments certainly hurts. Instead, talk about memories from his life. Remember what you did with him, and the activities you both enjoyed the most. You can set aside one day of the year (for example, his birthday) to visit his grave or remember him in silence.
Remembering a friend is not the same as mourning. Remembering is not to mourn the loss, but to remember the joy of having him in your life
Step 3. Try something new
After taking the time to grieve, the next step is to move on. Do something cheerful and fun to distract yourself, and little by little, you'll feel normal again. When you think of him, focus on happy memories, not painful memories.
- The time required for mourning varies depending on the personality and relationship with the deceased. There is no definite time limit.
- You can try activities such as exercising, hanging out with other friends, trying unique foods, or visiting new places.
- Don't be so cruel to yourself if you feel sad all of a sudden.
Step 4. Lean on other friends and family
Talk to people you trust. Share your feelings, or talk about something else to distract yourself. If they ask you out or want to be with you, accept their offer and try to enjoy the moment, even if it's just for a little while.
Step 5. Join a support group
Support groups can help overcome the sadness of losing a friend. You will meet other people who are in similar situations and hear their stories. Even if you don't get advice or close friends from there, you'll realize that you're not the only one experiencing this kind of grief. The realization that you are not alone is usually enough to give you strength.
Look for information about support groups that are appropriate for your situation in newspapers, information from other people, or the internet
Step 6. Allow yourself to seek happiness
Find things that make you smile. Help others, raise money for charity, or do something fun. Realize that life goes on and the deceased wants you to enjoy life. Sometimes sadness reappears, but in the meantime, try to be happy.
- If you are seriously depressed, think you want to hurt yourself or someone else, or can't get over your loss, you may need to seek professional help. Your doctor can help manage your emotions or refer you to a mental health professional.
- If you've ever considered self-harm, seek counseling and talk about your distress at any time.
