Introducing yourself to a girl can be stressful, especially if you really like her. The most important thing to do is be brave and get it over with. Don't just imagine the situation you'll be in, don't fantasize about false hopes, and don't wait too long until you miss an opportunity. Just walk up to the girl, have a chat with her, and say your name. Nothing wrong, right?
Step
Part 1 of 2: Approaching a Girl
Step 1. Assess the situation
Is he alone, or with friends? Does he seem calm, or does he seem very concentrated on his work? Try to approach him when he is more open to meeting new people. You have to make a good first impression.
- If he is alone, consider what he is doing. If he's in the library listening to music, and it's obvious he's studying, you shouldn't disturb him. If you interfere with his work, the first impression you will get will be negative. If he's doing something else that's less focused on him-looking through the gallery, texting, sipping coffee-he'll be more open to getting to know each other.
- If he's out with friends, consider the friends he's with. If your friend joins the girl group, use it as an entry point: approach the group, say hello to your friend, and use this social moment to introduce yourself to everyone in the group you don't know-including the girl. Make yourself a part of the group in a relaxed manner. If you don't know anyone in the group, you'll need to find another way to join: try to join in in the comments when you overhear something interesting, or try approaching the group and asking something about what's going on.
Step 2. Look into her eyes
Listen to the girl casually from time to time. When your eyes meet, smile-then look away. If he smiles back at you, it's an indication that he's open to being approached. You don't have to look into each other's eyes to introduce yourself, but it's a great way to try to see if he's interested in you. Don't stare at him too much; seduce him, but don't frighten him.
Step 3. Chat with him
Don't just imagine the conversation-take the moment and just do it. Approach the girl you like and strike up a casual conversation about what she's up to. You can try to get his attention and be witty, or you can ask him something simple and sincere. Having an opening line to lighten the mood is helpful, but it doesn't have to be a rehearsed seduction. You'll make a better first impression if you're comfortable, so approach the girl like you'd like to be approached by someone.
- If you see him in the bookstore, looking through the books on the shelves, approach him and make a comment about the book he is holding. Say, “Laskar Pelangi is really cool. Have you read that yet?” If he says no, state why you recommended the book, and try to make the topic more in-depth.
- If he's standing on the deck of a yacht looking out at the ocean, approach him and say, "That's really cool, isn't it?" If he agrees, ask, "How did you feel about going on this cruise?" Ask about his experience, and you should really look interested. Listen to the answer. In no time, he will start asking you questions and the two of you can chat.
- If you're having lunch or sipping coffee-whether in the cafeteria, lawn, or cafe-and you see the girl sitting alone, approach her and ask if you can sit next to her: "May I sit here?" Don't approach him if he's listening to music, or seems busy doing something. Ask him what he's reading, make a comment about the weather, or ask, "You come here often?"
- If you're at a party or other large social event, it will be easier to approach him, especially if you've had a glass or two of liquor. Approach the girl, say hello, and have a conversation about the event. Say, "What do you think of this party?" or “The solo part of the song is really cool, huh!” The content you say doesn't really matter, breaking the ice is what matters.
Step 4. Be sincere
Be confident, but keep it down, Don't make it an object and treat it like a prize you want to win; treat him like a human being, a real person, with dreams, interests, and worries-one who gets to choose whether or not he'll be attracted to you. Don't approach him with ulterior motives, and don't try to practice what you're about to say. Be yourself. Be someone who wants to get to know other people better, and he will be able to see the light in your heart.
Step 5. Introduce yourself
You can choose to introduce yourself as an opening sentence, or introduce yourself after approaching the girl and starting a conversation. Just say: "I'm Gatot". Don't be nervous about introducing yourself because introductions don't indicate that you're romantically attracted to a girl. An introduction is just a polite way to recognize someone's presence and start a deeper conversation.
- If you're new to school and you're sitting in the seat next to the girl, try to look her in the eyes as you clean up, then introduce yourself casually. "Hi, I'm Rob". Often times, she will respond with a kind answer: “Hi, I'm Tiara”. Feel free to ask another question afterward: say, “Are you a new student here? I don't think we've ever met before," or "Are we in the same class as Sociology? I think I remember you during last semester's discussion session."
- If you've approached him and started a conversation, whether in a bookstore or on the deck of a cruise ship, you should insert your name into the conversation. Wait for a pause in the conversation and say, “I'm Nino, by the way”. If she doesn't smile right away and say, "I'm Julia," you can ask, "What's your name?"
- Consider reaching out and shaking her hand when introducing yourself. This is a "ritual" that is usually done when getting to know everyone, whether male or female. A handshake instantly creates a physical connection, and also signals that you are both equal. Shake his hand firmly but not too hard.
Part 2 of 2: Have a Deeper Chat
Step 1. Keep talking
Let the conversation flow naturally. Ask questions, listen carefully, and show that you are interested in what he has to say.
- When he mentions something that interests him, and his eyes light up, ask him more about it. Keep the conversation flowing with more questions. If he is interested, he will ask about you; answer honestly.
- If you're interacting with a girl in a group, ask lots of questions, and keep making eye contact to make her feel like you're talking specifically to her. Be sure to include his friends in the conversation so they don't feel left out: most girls will appreciate a guy being nice to his friends. Eventually, the girl's friends will leave the two of you to chat, and it will be easier to have a one-on-one chat.
Step 2. Don't be afraid of silence
If you approach a girl at an event, such as a concert or festival, you don't need to fill every moment with words. If you sit next to the girl in class, you can end the conversation and talk about it again when you have free time. Sit next to him, listen to what he has to say, go for a walk with him, and make funny comments when you think about him. The most important thing is that he enjoys being around you.
Step 3. Leave him alone if he's not interested
You need to be aware of when he doesn't want to continue the conversation: he will give you a one-word answer, won't look you in the eye, and won't ask you anything. If he's interested in talking to you, he'll be involved in the conversation, and you shouldn't force him. Remember that refusing to talk doesn't mean he's not interested-he might just be shy-and engaging in a conversation doesn't mean he's interested in you: he might just be in the mood to chat.
- If he doesn't seem interested, say goodbye politely. Don't let the situation get too awkward. Say, “Nice to talk to you. Enjoy the book, okay?" Re-do the activity you were doing before approaching it.
- If you approach a girl in a group, it can be quite difficult to get her attention, let alone to tell if she is interested or not. Sometimes, the best tactic is to have a little chat and then go somewhere else. Keep making eye contact with the girl. This can be a great way to see if he's interested in chatting with you more. If he leaves the group to look for you, this is a good sign.
Step 4. Plan to see him again
Even if the conversation goes smoothly, one of the two of you will leave eventually. Be brave and take your chance right here-now might be the best chance you'll ever get. What will you regret? Tell him that you enjoyed chatting with him, and would like to meet him to treat him to coffee or a drink some other time. If he agrees, ask for his phone number.
- If you've thought of a date, you can apply now. If you've already chatted with him, say, “I enjoyed talking to you. Would you like us to meet up for drinks tomorrow night?”
- If you introduce yourself but don't chat long enough, ask the girl for coffee. Say, “I want to talk to you a little longer. Would you like us to meet and have coffee this week?”
- If you introduce yourself while he's out with his friends but can't talk one-on-one, wait until his friends leave. Pull the girl over for a second and tell her that you're feeling really good; Say, "It's so nice to meet you. I want to know you better. Would you like us to meet and have coffee sometime?"
