Are you starting to have doubts about your true gender identity? Do you feel that the gender identity you were born with no longer makes you comfortable? The sooner you accept these facts, the sooner you can determine your next steps. Being transgender doesn't necessarily require you to make physical changes; most importantly, you are willing to accept and love who you are. Get ready to get to know yourself more deeply and know that, whatever the outcome, this process will shape you into a stronger person in the future.
Step
Step 1. Be patient
Realizing the true gender identity is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand. Don't worry, it's never too late or 'too old' to change gender identity. Many people out there don't realize (or deny) that they are transgender until they are in their 30s, 40s, even 50s. Remember, this is not a race; Identifying gender identity is a self-understanding process. Getting to know yourself more deeply is the first step you need to take.
Step 2. Understand what transgender is
Being a transgender person doesn't mean your life will be limited. You may have watched television shows featuring transgender people; they said that their identity awareness emerged at a very early age. They are also interested in knowing the expectations of cisgenders. Understand that transgender people are not always aware of their gender identity at a very early age or have an affinity for traditional gender expectations. Don't worry if as a child you liked wearing skirts even though you were a boy, or playing robots even though you were a girl. Remember, choosing clothes and games is a form of expression for children and not a marker of their gender. Think about this carefully: why are masculine transgender women always in trouble while tomboyish cisgender women are never in trouble? This explains that according to traditional norms, gender identity and expression are two different things.
Being transgender does not necessarily categorize you as gay or straight. Gender and sex are two different things. Simply put, a person's sexual orientation is seen from the object of their sexual attraction. Meanwhile, gender identity refers to the differences in a person's role based on socio-cultural aspects. It is not uncommon for someone who is transgender to be homosexual; many transgender actors are also gay, bisexual, pansexual, or asexual. If cisgender people have the right to have various sexual orientations, why not transgender people? Homosexual women and men are still cisgender because their gender identity has not changed since birth. When there are heterosexual transgender people who are referred to as 'gays', it is as if they are 'accused' of faking it. As if being transgender is their way of continuing to live within the prevailing norms of gender and sexuality; they are considered to be carrying out a trick to survive in the midst of the majority group who only recognizes two genders and heterosexual tendencies. A person changes his gender identity not to appear more attractive or more 'normal' in the eyes of others. They do it for personal happiness and freedom
Step 3. Try to imagine your dreams and future
What will you be like in the next 10-20 years? Are you happy? Will your life be surrounded by friends, family, and fun activities? Take some time to imagine it and observe the feelings that arise. If you have a strangely comfortable feeling when you think of yourself as transgender, you may be transgender. Once you know how you feel, think about whether you really want to. Remember, some physical changes due to hormone therapy and surgery are permanent. So make sure all decisions you have considered carefully.
Step 4. Find out as much as you can about the physical transition process
Learn how hormones work and determine if you need surgery. The whole decision is yours, whether it's undergoing hormone therapy without surgery or only having surgery on the upper body without undergoing hormone therapy. No decision will change the fact that you are transgender. Choose the step you are most comfortable with.
You can also learn from the experiences of others. Often, the actual experience is different from the clinical information you get. Join the transgender community and hear their stories
Step 5. Accept and love yourself as you are
Remember, you have the right to express or question how you feel. Stop listening to other people; your heart is the honest voice there is. If you stop asking questions because you are worried about what other people think, you are indirectly worsening your quality of life by letting it be driven by someone else. You only live once, don't let other people control it.
Step 6. See a gender therapist
Even if they don't have the power to determine your gender identity, at least they can help you find it. Seeing a qualified therapist will improve your quality of life; sharing your doubts and feelings with the right person will really help you find the best answer. It is important that you continue to ask questions and analyze the causes of doubts arising in you. Be careful in choosing a therapist; ask for appropriate recommendations from fellow transgender people. Choosing the wrong therapist will only waste your time and money.
Tips
- The only person who knows your gender identity is you; no one has the right to patronize you. Your body, your authority.
- Either way, gender identity is legal. If your gender identity changes, it does not mean that your previous gender identity was fake or invalid.
- Establish good relationships with other transgender people. Ask for their gender identity preference and the name they chose. You can also find additional information by watching Youtube videos about confessions of transgender people and the way they view their gender identity.
- Do you like to draw? Try describing yourself as a different gender on paper. You can draw in detail about your physical changes in the future, or simply in the form of a simple cartoon. Picture yourself doing whatever activity comes to mind. Express yourself freely!
- If you identify as cisgender (not transgender) after a long period of questioning, there's no need to worry. There is nothing wrong with questioning your gender identity. On the positive side, you will have the opportunity to understand more about this issue.
- Even if you don't want to have children right now, understand that your desires may change in the future. It's a good idea to have stored sperm or eggs before they are permanently sterile due to hormone therapy.
- Basically, there are more than two gender identities (perhaps your gender identity can be found in the following explanation). Genderqueer is a term for someone who feels that their gender identity is neither male nor female. They tend to oppose the two-gender system that is known from the moment a person is born. There are also those who identify themselves as polygender (a mixture of many genders), bigender (two different genders at once, usually male or female), genderfluid (gender identity that fluctuates and keeps changing), or agenter (no gender at all). etc.
- Many transgender people recognize that changes in sexual preferences are possible. Be open to all possibilities; don't think that your sexual preferences won't change forever.
- Write down your feelings and any doubts in a diary. Later, this book can help you explore your options and determine the best course of action for you to take.
Warning
- Don't rush into action. Almost no one makes physical changes before truly believing in their gender identity; that means most of them have gone through a lot of careful consideration before acting. That's what you need to do. Think carefully, discover your true identity, and never rush into action.
- Be careful about sharing your doubts with your parents. Remember, your life still depends on them. Instead of confessing right away, try to talk about the transgender phenomenon and watch their reactions. If their reactions tend to be intolerant, take a step back and think of a better strategy. If the response is likely to be painful, such as hitting you or kicking you out of the house, it's best not to rush into it. Always have a backup plan.
- Be careful about sharing your doubts with anyone. Not everyone can understand and take your doubts seriously; some people think transgender tendencies are a myth. Worse still, some people tend to show resistance to these kinds of things and may even turn against you.
