You had a conflict with another person and now you want to, or must avoid it. The reasons for your annoyance can range from a minor annoyance to a life-threatening situation. When it comes to dealing with close-range conflicts with someone you don't like, avoiding them can prevent the current situation from worsening and prevent future disputes. Managing these issues online, at school, at work and in the family environment requires practical strategies that can be learned if you don't want to have face-to-face confrontation.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Managing Existence in Cyberspace
Step 1. Remove, unfollow and unfriend from social media channels
Every social media program lets you remove someone from your contacts, fans, and friends lists. This feature not only lets you disconnect from the person, but also prevents them from seeing your posts.
- Make sure the security filter you apply matches your needs to avoid this person.
- Maybe you need to withdraw from social media and close your account. This may not be a pleasant act, but sometimes it is necessary.
Step 2. Perform email blocking
To prevent emails from reaching your inbox, remove the person from your address book. Enabling a spam filter will allow you to monitor if the person is trying to send unwanted email. You can always click the delete button or save the email to a specific folder if you need to gather evidence that there's something more serious than stalking, cyberbullying, or harassment.
Sometimes you have to collect written traces that someone has left so that they can be used in the event of a lawsuit. Documenting the evidence gives an added benefit to a case
Step 3. Don't call or text the person
It might be easy, but it might also be hard to stop yourself from calling or texting the person. You may want to convey something negative to him, or you may have to control the urge to reconnect. Whatever the reason, calling or texting will result in additional and potentially unwanted communications that could make the situation worse.
Step 4. Don't answer phone calls or texts or emails
Find the strength to ignore any form of communication from the person. This may be easy. However, he may try to seduce you into communicating only to hurt you further. Your silence will maintain clean lines of communication and is a surefire way to prevent unexpected interactions.
Part 2 of 4: Dealing with Situations at School/Campus
Step 1. Cancel or change the course you are taking
If you can't calm down or feel like you need to get away from the person, take action. You may be penalized for canceling a course if the deadline is over. If the situation is severe enough, you will have to cancel the course.
The school administration may offer leniency if you explain the situation you are in
Step 2. Talk to the teacher or administrative officer
Discussions should be private, so call, email or ask the teacher for a chance to speak. You may need to make an appointment. Maybe you should talk to the clerk as well. If you are under 18 years old, the presence of a parent is required.
- You might say, “It's getting harder and harder to be in the same class with _ and I have to move to another class. Or he should be transferred to another class. What can be done about this and how quickly can this be done?”
- Teachers and administrators may try to solve the problem without transferring you or the person to another class. Stay calm, but keep your resolve and make sure your needs are met.
- Be prepared to say the real reason why you are making this application.
Step 3. Take another route
Most campuses are quite large and have many roads that take you to various destinations on campus. Look for the path with the least chance of problems. If you know the person's usual walking route, make plans to take a different route. Yes, it may take longer, but you should avoid the person.
If you happen to see the person in the distance, simply turn around and walk in the opposite direction
Step 4. Avoid direct eye contact
There may be times when you have to come face to face with the person by accident. Taking your eyes off the person and moving away as quickly as possible will avoid additional and unnecessary interactions with them. Be prepared to face the unexpected.
Step 5. There may be times when you have to come face to face with the person by accident
Averting your gaze from the person and moving away as quickly as possible will avoid additional and unnecessary interactions with them. Be prepared to face the unexpected. If your friends are willing to help you, life will be a little easier. Friends can create barriers or distractions that allow you to slip away unnoticed. Make sure you trust people who say they are willing to help.
Start a conversation with someone at the party. Approach someone and tell them, “I'm going to talk to you right now because I'm trying to avoid someone. Don't you mind?” Not only will this help you avoid the person, but you may start a conversation with someone you really enjoy
Step 6. Be prepared to use “go” tactics to get out of an uncomfortable situation
Sometimes you have to pretend you're on the phone, or lose your glasses or keys. This tactic can be used on the scene to avoid even the most annoying people.
- If you see someone walking towards you when you don't want to talk to them, take out your cell phone and pretend they're having an important conversation. You can turn around and walk away.
- If you're talking to someone and want to end it, just make a startled voice and say an apology to get away from it like "Oh my gosh. I have to find my key. Sorry, I have to go." You create your own “go” tactic to get yourself out of interaction with someone you want to avoid.
Step 7. Appreciate the positive qualities and learning experiences
Some people believe that people, even the most annoying ones, come into our lives to teach us something. Each experience prepares us to be smarter and more in tune with what we expect from life.
- Sit down and make a list of all the things you learned from the experience.
- Also write about all the positive things that happened. No situation is entirely bad.
Part 3 of 4: Coping with Situations at Work
Step 1. Change jobs
Whether you have the freedom to change jobs or not, it may be the best solution for avoiding someone at work. Problems can range from trivial misunderstandings to something as serious as a sexual harassment lawsuit. You may want to keep your current job because you like it, so you may have to find another solution.
Report all serious allegations to the human resources (HR) department which is available to assist employees in resolving all complaints
Step 2. Ask to be transferred to a different department or area, or to another employer
Office or factory space may be limited, but if you need to create some distance between you and the person, you should make a request. Don't allow yourself to be forced to listen to or around people you don't like. It will definitely decrease job satisfaction and possibly increase stress levels.
- You will be asked to provide facts that support the request, so be prepared. Write down your concerns in advance, and bring supporting documents with you when you attend meetings.
- You won't be the first or the last to request a change in seating arrangements. This is a common occurrence that can happen in any office.
Step 3. Focus on increasing productivity
Concentrating on your work and the things you have to do to stay productive will help you avoid the people you don't like at work. You deserve to have a work environment that is free from conflict and makes you feel comfortable working there. Being alone will prevent interaction with people who might misinterpret your words or behavior.
- Use breaks to clear out desk drawers, or do exercises, or read magazines.
- Enjoy your solitude. Use this time to meditate, practice yoga or write poetry. This activity will help manage any stress you may be experiencing.
Step 4. Work outside the person's schedule
Many employers hire employees to work shifts with different working hours and days during the week. If this is your situation, ask for a different shift schedule. If you work in an environment with standard working hours from 9:00 to 17:00, it can be difficult to change your work schedule. However, you can observe and work around so that your time off, to the bathroom and your lunch do not coincide with that person.
Step 5. Don't accept the invitation
Be tactful, but don't accept an invitation to a meeting the person will be attending. It depends on how serious the conflict is, but you certainly don't want to be in an awkward or dangerous situation.
Organize your own meeting if you want to spend time with coworkers
Step 6. Get used to being comfortable when you have to get out of any situation
It's a terrible experience if you get stuck in a certain social situation. You may feel pressured if your boss is there, or worry about what your coworkers think or talk about behind your back. Give yourself the freedom to say, “Hey guys, I have to go. My journey is far,” or whatever reason.
- There may be times when you have to ask permission to go to the restroom and then leave without telling anyone. This method is also acceptable. The goal is to distance yourself from the person you want to avoid and free yourself from the situation.
- If you left without telling anyone, text someone you trust to let them know you're gone. You don't have to make other people worry about you, especially if you've recently been in a conflict situation with someone.
Step 7. Be polite if you happen to get caught in an unexpected interaction
It is possible that you will have to interact with the person regarding work matters. Use these practical tips to stay calm, polite and stay focused on the task at hand to avoid conflict. Don't respond to the person's attempts to provoke you.
- Maintain your calm demeanor until the interaction is over. Congratulate yourself for doing well.
- Maintain a positive attitude. Try to keep things “light and relaxed”. That means you should avoid serious thoughts, discussions, problems or complaints if you are forced to confront the person. Demonstrate a calm and optimistic attitude that the negativity or awkwardness of the situation can't break.
- Focusing on the positive will protect you from being drawn into negative discussions.
- Nothing can rob you of your strength if you stay positive. Responding to an inflammatory comment means leaving your power to that person. You are in control and responsible for your feelings and actions. That's an important task.
Step 8. Build perspective
It is important to see things from the right perspective. Once you see that life goes on after a struggle with someone, you can let go of any resentment you're feeling and release feelings of relief. You can forget everything that happened and reset your priorities.
If you're trying to forget something, but the situation continues to eat away at you, it's a good idea to deal with any additional feelings that arise
Part 4 of 4: Dealing with More Serious Problems
Step 1. Set limits
Whether you are in conflict with your mother-in-law, a cousin who is addicted to drugs, or an uncle who does inappropriate things to your child, you must communicate your intentions and expectations as best you can. Your decision to avoid the person is likely supported by the ongoing problematic interactions.
- If you live in the same house as the person, you might say, “I want to let you know that I will stay as far away from the conflict as possible. I think keeping a healthy distance between us is the right thing to do. Would you agree if we stay away from each other?”
- If the person lives in a different place of course it will be easier to deal with. You can disconnect by not calling, texting or emailing. Avoid all forms of interaction.
Step 2. Don't attend family events
Many families experience increasing levels of stress and conflict during family events. If you want to avoid someone who will no doubt cause you trouble, apologize and don't come.
Plan and create separate family events. However, try to keep the two events from clashing to prevent your loved ones from having to choose between the two. This will only fuel the fire of the conflict that is going on between you and the person
Step 3. Only make contact under supervision
You may have relatives you don't trust for some reason. You may not want to be alone with that person. Whatever the reason, always have someone as a witness if you are forced to interact with that person. Safety should always be the top priority.
Step 4. Seek professional help to help manage your emotions and thoughts
If you are struggling with the turmoil that comes with dealing with this person, you may benefit from talking to a counselor. Find a psychologist or psychiatrist in your area or you can contact them through the Indonesian Mental Medicine Specialist Association or the Indonesian Psychological Association.
Step 5. Seek legal advice if needed
If the situation escalates, you may need the help of a lawyer. Conflicts can vary in severity and sometimes the best solution is to avoid all kinds of interactions with someone. Lawsuits are designed to place one party against another. Anything you do or say could potentially harm your case. Your attorney will guide you through the process.
Step 6. File a restraining order if needed
The person you are trying to avoid may have a serious problem. If you feel you are in potential danger, request a restraining order against the person to limit contact. If he violates the order, you can call the police to intervene.
Tips
- You can always make up an excuse to get out of any situation.
- Don't let the conflict eat away at your mind. There are many other, more productive things for you to think about and do.
- Get on with your life. Whatever your reasons for avoiding the person, you must regroup and move on through the conflict.
- You may be surprised if you have to meet face to face. You can say, “Hello” and walk away, or say nothing at all. Be prepared to choose one of these options.
- Remaining polite and calm in every situation will lead to positive outcomes.
- If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, contact the appropriate authorities to report your concern.
- Make safety your priority. As much as possible, try to never put yourself or someone you love in a situation where it is possible to run into the person to avoid.
Warning
- If a restraining order has been issued against you, there will be legal consequences for violating the order. Laws are made to protect you and others from harm. It is best to respect the authority of orders issued against you and vice versa.
- Let the severity of the conflict drive your response. If you're in a formal dispute that prohibits communication, you should practice controlling yourself completely not to say anything to the person.
- The laws designed to control stalking cases vary from country to country. If you are being stalked, you should report your concern to an authorized person such as a parent, teacher, religious official, police or lawyer.
