Overreacting means having an emotional reaction to a situation more than it should be. There are two types of overreaction, namely internal and external. External overreactions are actions and behaviors that other people can see, such as yelling at someone in annoyance. Internal overreactions are emotional responses that others may or may not be aware of, such as deciding to drop out of drama extracurriculars because you didn't get the role you wanted. Both forms of overreaction can hurt reputation, relationships, and self-esteem. You can avoid overreacting by delving deeper into the causes of emotional responses and finding new ways to deal with them.
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Method 1 of 2: Studying Cognitive Distortion
Step 1. Learn to be aware of cognitive distortions
Cognitive distortion is an automatic thought pattern that causes a person to distort reality. For people who overreact, it is usually due to a negative or highly self-critical judgment that makes the person feel negative about themselves. Unless the person learns to be aware of cognitive distortions, his reactions will continue to not reflect reality. Everything gets bigger than it should and sometimes triggers an overreaction.
- It is usually formed from childhood. Having an authority figure (such as a parent or teacher) who is extremely perfectionist, highly critical, or has unreasonable expectations can trigger this.
- Don't believe everything you think! Being more aware of patterns of cognitive distortion allows you to make choices in how you react. Just because you think something doesn't mean you should immediately accept it as a fact. Criticizing unhelpful or immature thoughts can set you free.
- Seeing only negative possibilities and getting used to ignoring positive impacts are common cognitive distortions.
Step 2. Understand the common types of cognitive distortions
Everyone has experienced or at least seen others overreact to a situation. For some people, these reactions can become a habit in seeing the world. It includes:
- Overgeneralizing. For example, a child who has had a bad experience with a large dog may forever feel nervous about being around a dog.
- Too quick to conclude. For example, a girl is nervous about going on a date. Her date texted her that she had to reschedule her date. The girl decides that her partner is either definitely not interested in her or the guy won't delay the date, so she cancels the date. In fact, the man liked her.
- Thinking of everything as a disaster (catastrophizing). A woman is having a hard time at work and worries that she will be fired, then becomes homeless. Instead of focusing on his time management skills, he was constantly anxious.
- Black and white thinking, or inflexibility. On a family vacation, the father is frustrated by the poor quality of the hotel rooms. Instead of focusing on the beautiful beach and the kids spending less time in their rooms, the father continues to grumble and mess up the vacation for the whole family.
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Must. This word is often full of judgment. If you use this word of yourself in a negative and judgmental way, consider paraphrasing it. For example:
- Negatives: “I'm not fit.” More positive: “I want to be healthier, and I'll check if there are classes I like at the gym.”
- Negatives: “I have to make my son pay attention to me when I speak.” Positive: “How can I talk to make him listen to me more?”
- Negative: “I need to get more than B on my exam!” Positive: “I know I can definitely get a better grade than a B. But if not, a B is still good.”
- Sometimes there are things that have to be done. There are things that are said to be correct. However, using this word negatively and rigidly signifies a thought pattern that should be non-negative and rigid.
- Write automatic thoughts in a journal or diary. Just writing down automatic thoughts can help you be aware of where they are, when and what's happening, as well as help you keep tabs on them. Ask yourself if there is a way to find the source of the cognitive distortion you are experiencing. Is automatic thinking part of a pattern? If so, when did it start? How do you feel now? Being more aware of your subconscious mind patterns will help you to avoid overreacting.
Step 3. Identify the “all or nothing” way of thinking
This automatic mindset, also known as the black and white mindset, is a major cause of overreaction. Automatic thinking is not based on rational thinking, but is based on highly emotional and fearful responses to stressful situations.
- “Everything or nothing” thinking is a common cognitive distortion. Sometimes things aren't that simple, but usually there is a way to get some or most of what you want, or find an alternative path.
- Learn to listen critically to your inner voice and be aware of what your inner voice is telling you. If your inner voice is full of cognitive distortions, it can help you to realize that the voice you're talking to isn't quite right.
- Consider doing affirmations to follow up on automatic thoughts. Affirmations let you turn negative “all or nothing” thoughts into positive statements that describe your new beliefs. For example, remind yourself, “A mistake is not a failure. It's a learning process. Everyone makes mistakes. Others will understand.”
Step 4. Take a deep breath before responding
Pausing for a breath gives you time to consider alternative possibilities. It may be able to release you from automatic thinking patterns. Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of three, then exhale through your mouth for a count of five. Repeat if needed.
- When you breathe fast, your body believes you are in a “fight or flight” situation, increasing the anxiety you feel. You are more likely to respond with higher emotion and fear.
- If your breathing is slower, your body believes you are calm, and you are more likely to think rationally.
Step 5. Identify your overreaction pattern
Most people have triggers that can trigger an emotional overreaction. Common triggers include envy, rejection, criticism, and control. By studying your triggers more deeply, you are more likely to control your emotions when dealing with them.
- Envy occurs when someone gets something you want, or feel you deserve.
- Rejection occurs when someone is excluded or ignored. Exclusion from the group activated the same parts of the brain as physical pain.
- Criticism makes one overgeneralize, which is a type of cognitive distortion. The person misinterprets criticism as someone else's dislike or disrespect for him personally, not just one of his actions.
- Control issues cause overreaction when you worry too much about not getting what you want or losing what you have. It's also a form of taking everything as a disaster.
Step 6. Expand your point of view
Ask yourself, “How important is this? Will I remember it tomorrow? Or a year from now? How about 20 years from now?” If the answer is no, whatever triggers your current reaction is not so important. Allow yourself to step back from the situation and admit that the problem may not really be that important.
- Is there a part of the situation you could change? Is there a way that you can work with others to make changes in your favor? If yes, try to do it.
- Try to be willing to accept the part of the situation that you cannot change. That doesn't mean you let other people hurt you or that you don't need to have boundaries. Sometimes it means accepting the fact that you can't change the situation and deciding to move on from the situation.
Step 7. Retrain your brain
When a person is accustomed to having problems controlling their emotions, the brain has a weak connection between the highly responsive emotional center and the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking. Establishing a stronger connection between the two brain centers helps to avoid overreacting.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy is one of the treatments that has been proven effective for treating people who have problems controlling their emotions. It works by increasing self-knowledge and allowing you to restructure your cognition.
- Neural feedback and biological feedback are therapies that have been shown to be effective in treating people with emotional control problems. Patients learn to monitor their psychological responses. Therefore, he could control his overreaction.
Step 8. Visit a professional
An overreaction may be the result of a long-buried problem that a therapist can help solve. Understanding the causes of overreactions can help you to control your reactions.
- If the overreaction is affecting your relationship or marriage, consider seeing a therapist with your partner.
- A good therapist will give you practical advice on the challenges you face in the moment as well as look at issues from the past that may be re-emerging through your emotional responses.
- Be patient. If your emotional overreaction is the result of a long-buried problem, the treatment is likely to last a long time. Don't expect results overnight.
- In some cases, you may need treatment. While talk therapy is helpful for most people, sometimes medication can help too. For example, for someone with anxiety that causes multiple overreactions, anti-anxiety medications can help.
Method 2 of 2: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Get enough sleep
Lack of sleep is a common cause of stress and can cause you to become impatient and overreact to everyday situations. Taking care of yourself includes getting enough rest. If you're not getting enough sleep, changing your overreacting pattern will become even more difficult.
- Avoid caffeine if it interferes with your sleep. Caffeine can be found in soft drinks, coffee, tea, and other beverages. If you drink, make sure the drink you drink does not contain caffeine.
- Feeling tired makes you more stressed and can make you think irrationally.
- If you can't change your sleep schedule, at least include time for rest and relaxation as part of your daily schedule. Naps can help.
Step 2. Make sure to eat regularly
If you are hungry, you are more likely to overreact. Eat healthy meals regularly throughout the day. Make sure you eat a healthy breakfast that contains lots of protein and avoid sugar at breakfast.
Avoid fast food, sugary meals, or other foods that can increase blood sugar levels suddenly. Snacks with high sugar content can cause stress
Step 3. Exercise regularly
Exercising helps emotional regulation and puts you in a better mood. 30 minutes of moderate exercise at least five times per week has been shown to provide benefits for emotional regulation.
- Aerobic exercise such as swimming, walking, running, or cycling uses the lungs and heart. Incorporate aerobic exercise into your exercise routine in addition to any exercise you want to do. If you can't spare 30 minutes per day, start with a short workout. Even 10 to 15 minutes can make progress.
- Strength training, such as lifting weights or resistance training, helps strengthen bones and muscles.
- Flexibility exercises, such as stretching and yoga, help prevent injury. Yoga helps with anxiety and stress, and is highly recommended for people who want to avoid overreacting.
Step 4. Be aware of your feelings
It's hard to change someone who isn't aware of his feelings until he's overreacted. The trick is to be aware of your emotions before they get too strong. Learn to identify the cause of your overreacting.
- Signs may be physical, such as a tight neck or a fast heartbeat.
- Successfully identifying feelings means being able to use both sides of the brain to develop strategies for dealing with emotions.
- The more aware you are of your internal reactions, the less likely you are to feel overwhelmed by those internal reactions.
Warning
- Not all strong emotional responses are overreactions. Don't underestimate your feelings just because they're intense.
- If overreacting gets you into legal trouble, seek help immediately.
- Sometimes overreacting is a symptom of mental illness. If that's the case, you should ask for help with mental illness while discussing the problem of overreacting.
