Whether in bed or not, new or old relationship, everyone can be a better lover. Your partner deserves it! Read the article below for some great tips and tricks, and get started on your steps towards a more interesting and happier relationship.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Be Your Best Self
Step 1. Make intercourse a priority
It's easy to get caught up in our lives and feel too busy to make out, especially when we've been with someone long enough. However, a relationship that makes one or both parties dissatisfied will not last long. Take time to have sex to keep the fire of love burning.
- If you have older children, say that you and your partner have had a long day and are so tired that you're going to bed right away.
- If your child is younger, put them to bed earlier.
- Don't just have sex once in a while, like when traveling or setting aside "date nights" once or twice a year. This is not good for relationships.
Step 2. Emphasize that the other party agrees
Make sure that both parties are happy and agreeable before getting too serious. This is important for both men and women. If your partner is drunk enough to see a giant purple mole, you shouldn't have sex. Get a "yes" answer, not a "likely".
Step 3. Get rid of advertising culture
Don't expect sex like in adult movies and don't expect your partner to look like a supermodel. And especially don't expect yourself to look different. This will make you and your partner insecure and uncomfortable, thereby reducing the enjoyment of both of you.
Step 4. Do your research
If you want to find out more about what your partner enjoys, do some research. Read romance novels written for your partner's gender or read online articles to get an idea of what your partner will enjoy and what you won't.
Step 5. Draw
We don't mean losing weight or getting bigger: your partner is with you because they think you are sexy. When we say to make you attractive, we mean clean and tidy. Wear nice clothes. That kind of stuff. Weight is subjective but few people are excited by the smell of sweat for weeks on end.
Step 6. Watch your partner's reaction
Pay attention to how your partner reacts to certain things. If it responds well to something you did, do it again! If they look uncomfortable, stop! Look for subtle cues he gives you, such as putting your hand in a certain place. You can even copy what they do to you because this is often their way of asking for something special.
Step 7. Go slow
Do everything related to sex slowly. Build intimacy slowly, by applying the art of kissing and other warm-ups. You also have to slow down the main relationship! This will prolong and increase enjoyment for both parties.
Step 8. Don't be selfish
Of course, you also need pleasure from intercourse, but focusing on your partner and making sure he's satisfied and feeling great will make your relationship better and make him want to reciprocate.
Step 9. Explore your partner
We all know the places our partner wants us to touch, but don't forget to explore their whole body! Everyone is sensitive at some point and to a different level. You may find that your partner goes crazy when you kiss him on the back of the neck! You never know!
Step 10. Become an expert at kissing
Being a good kisser is very important and a bad kisser can really take away the passion. Master the art of kissing before mastering anything else!
Step 11. Change everything
Don't let your intimate relationship become a routine. Avoid doing the same position or the same location or the same time. Creating a routine will keep romance and enjoyment away. Get out of your rut and change things up every few times to keep your love relationship alive.
Step 12. Be open minded
Human sexuality, like all things in humans, is very complex. Everyone is different. And because we're all different, the range of what's called normal is huge. Never close your mind to something, because you may be surprised that you and your partner are enjoying something you never considered before. Try everything, and if you enjoy it, keep doing it!
Part 2 of 4: Advice for Men
Step 1. Don't treat everything like a button
Repetitive movements are really useless in intimate situations. Your partner's sex organs are not an elevator button that you can press over and over again in hopes of getting results. The same can also be said for the tip of the breast. Think circular motions and variations in pressure, direction, and movement, and you'll be fine.
Step 2. Understand what makes a woman feel good
Men are aroused by sensations in their penises, so you would think that women would be aroused by sensations in their vaginas, right? Unfortunately it's not that simple! Most women do not get full pleasure from vaginal stimulation alone. Find out about the clitoris on Wikipedia.
Step 3. Be gentle, unless you are asked to do otherwise
When you are dealing with a sensitive body part, treat it gently unless he specifically asks otherwise. Biting and pinching here and there can feel overwhelming for some women but not all, and you certainly don't want to get hit.
Step 4. Speak
Dude, you know you like it when he makes a little moan. It lets you know he's enjoying it, right? But did you know that he also enjoys hearing you make a sound (for the same reason)? Maybe not grunt too much, because that would look like a caveman, but say something like, "Oh, that feels so good…"
Step 5. Heat the room
No, this is serious. Heat the room. Women find it hard to feel pleasure when they're cold, research proves that. Make love under the covers or turn on the heater if he really looks like he's having a hard time even though you've done everything.
Part 3 of 4: Advice for Women
Step 1. Don't make him a prisoner
Don't use sex as a weapon in an argument and never promise sex but then don't give it. That's cruel. It would be cruel if he did it to you and cruel if you did that to him. This won't do you any good either, as it will make him associate sex with negative emotions and disappointment, which will be harmful to your relationship in the long run.
Step 2. Keep moving
The main complaint that men often have is about women being like "dead fish." Move your body when having sex. Men need a little effort, but that doesn't mean they don't need it. Move your arms and legs, caress him, when you are together and occasionally take the initiative and take control of the situation. You will make him intoxicated.
Step 3. Natural
Leave makeup and hairspray. Men are attracted to your tenderness and they will be even more excited if they can run their fingers through your hair or kiss your cheek without getting a mouthful of powder. That's disgusting!
Increase your softness by shaving and applying moisturizer
Step 4. Let him try the fantasy
Men used to watch adult movies. Almost everything. And they think about sex a lot. This is a fact of life. Therefore, they have ideas, fantasies about the things that make them aroused. If you want to make your boyfriend a happy man, let him make that fantasy come true. Wear school uniform. Play doctor. Talk about what the fantasy is and make it happen. He will never know what he will get.
- It's just that you have to make sure that whatever fantasy you want to play, you are comfortable doing it. Both parties should be happy!
- You can be non-judgmental and still disapprove of the request. These are not mutually exclusive.
Step 5. Wake him up
Waking up to your warm kiss and gentle body can be a great way to surprise your sweetheart. You can do this on the weekends or spontaneously in the middle of the night (if you know you can sleep in the morning). He will enjoy the spontaneity and change normal habits.
Part 4 of 4: Outside the Bed
Step 1. Focus on your partner
The person you want to shower with affection should be the center of your attention. You make great lovers when they feel they are the only people in the world when they are with you. That's the impression you have to make when you start to focus.
Step 2. Have optimism
You must be optimistic when expressing your feelings to him, both about him personally, the situation, the condition of the world as a whole. Make your presence uplifting that helps them see better things around them, especially about themselves.
Step 3. Listen to them
Make sure you hear and see how he responds to your every attention. The goal is to find the right tempo that he is able to hear, see and feel fully your expressions of affection. It's about him, not about you owning the stage and acting. You should always try to understand how he responds to you so that you can make him feel better.
Step 4. Show enthusiasm
You have to express optimistic feelings with a passion that rubs off on them. Bring a wave of positive emotions to invite him to the enjoyment of themselves and the world around them, then he will be yours forever.
Step 5. Develop a sense of humor
Life is too heavy and complicated. We often get sucked into our own problems and forget to see the beautiful things in the world. But that's why our partners exist, to remind us of the good things that make us laugh and help us find humor in difficult situations. Be that person for the sake of your lover.
Step 6. Pay attention to the little things
When you really love your partner, and you pay close attention to him or her, you'll notice that he or she has certain quirks and signs that you actually adore. Most people only see this after being in a relationship for a long time, but if you start now, you will begin to be more loving towards your partner and feel closer to them.
Step 7. Compromise once in a while
One has to learn to compromise. Being a lover means sharing. It's fair because love is about sharing and growing. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
Tips
- When you can master self-awareness, you can become a master of self-awareness…and vice versa. It's an easy and fun thing to do.
- Smile first, then ask…
- When you truly enjoy helping other people feel good about themselves then you can be the ultimate lover…and other people, in turn, will truly love you.
- If you are not progressing then you should reflect on your intentions and interactions with other people. Is your attention too rushed, not intense enough or too casual to make an impression?
