An important aspect of being able to maintain your identity is having personal integrity and respect for yourself. For that, make sure you apply the value of virtue when living your daily life and do not fulfill the wishes or expectations of others so that they accept you. Thus, you can become an independent, confident, and happy person. In addition, you are able to live your daily life in a useful way so that life feels more meaningful because you have given the best for yourself and others. Living your daily life by showing integrity and being honest is not easy, especially for young people, but by maintaining your identity, an enjoyable life awaits you.
Part 1 of 3: Showing Integrity When Socializing
Step 1. Speak honestly regardless of who you are talking to
One way to respect yourself is to speak according to your heart. Instead of succumbing to the wishes of friends or the demands of society and simply supporting the opinions of others, people who are able to defend themselves resist these impulses. They are used to expressing their thoughts and feelings honestly (while being polite, of course).
For example, if some of your friends compliment you on a movie you don't like, tell them, "I'm glad it was good, but I didn't like it."
Step 2. Don't put other people down to make you look great
When socializing, don't criticize other people to sound funny, smart, or cool. For example, if your friends are making fun of someone who likes to be alone, don't go along with it just to make them happy. Instead, tell them, "Come on, don't talk bad about people."
This kind of attitude shows that you have manners and won't change them just for fear of belittling them
Step 3. Be selective when socializing by choosing friends with integrity
The people we interact with often have a big influence on our behavior patterns. The people around you who influence or demand that you do something or change tend to make it difficult for you to maintain your identity. A supportive friend can provide feedback if you're faking it and support you through a problem.
- Choose friends wisely. Make friends with people who are well-behaved, polite, friendly, and don't put other people down. Find friends who support and admire you because you are just the way you are. If not, question their motives and reasons for being friends with you.
- Ask a supportive friend or family member to be a mentor so you can remain a person of integrity. Choose a friend who is ready to support you when you need to discuss to make a decision that is in line with your priority values.
Step 4. Don't hide your character or preferences
Remember, there is no point in lying to others about who you are and the values you believe in. Self-respecting people let others know their beliefs and personalities. If you feel the need to hide certain aspects of your character (such as religious beliefs or political preferences), you may not accept yourself as you are.
For example, you are not a football fan, while your friends want to watch a football game. Don't join them to keep yourself accepted by the group. Instead, tell them, "How about we try something different for once. Let's go bowling!"
Part 2 of 3: Knowing Yourself
Step 1. Determine the virtues that you believe in
A person's personal preferences and behavior are determined by the virtues he believes in. Therefore, take time for reflection to find out the values that you consider to be virtues when living your daily life, such as freedom, power, willingness to help others, and integrity and then rank them from most important. This method helps you determine the virtues that are the principles of your life.
- Over time, it may be that the virtues you believe in change so that the list you create will need to be changed as well. Therefore, you need to ensure it periodically by reflecting every opportunity so that this step can be implemented properly.
- If you don't know how to make this list yet, use the internet for instructions.
Step 2. Determine the things you are interested in
This is important so that you are able to know and appreciate yourself. Interests can be interpersonal skills, professional skills, or hobbies. After determining some of the things that you consider to be strengths, you will understand yourself better and be able to maintain your identity.
- For example, your sister is a very good athlete, but you are not talented at being an athlete. Do not worry! Find out what you're good at, like making art or running a business.
- Another example, if your friends enjoy playing video games, but you're not interested in these activities, think about how to reduce your interactions with them so you have more time to enjoy hobbies.
Step 3. Forgive yourself
Everyone can and will make mistakes. Instead of regretting what has happened, take lessons from the mistakes you have made and live a better quality daily life. Otherwise, you will continue to blame yourself for something that is past and cannot be changed.
For example, if you don't pass your semester exam, don't beat yourself up. Instead, find out the mistakes that made you fail and then work to fix them during the upcoming exam
Step 4. Set targets according to SMART criteria and then work towards achieving them
You will be motivated and have integrity if you have set the goals you want to achieve in your personal and professional life. SMART stands for specific (specific), measurable (measured), attainable (achievable), relevant (useful), and time bound (scheduled). The SMART criteria help you set realistic and achievable targets to keep you focused on making your dreams come true.
- For example, say you aspire to be a musician. First, specify the instrument you want to play and what level of education you need to have. Then, determine your ability to make this wish come true. (If you want to be the conductor of an orchestra on campus, your dream can come true, but your wish will be difficult to achieve if you are to replace Addie M. S.).
- Make sure you want to be a musician according to your interests (even if it's 1, 3, or 5 years later). Set a deadline as the deadline for achieving the target.
Part 3 of 3: Eliminating Negative Perceptions of Yourself
Step 1. Ignore other people's opinions that put you down
If a friend or co-worker makes a non-constructive critique, don't mind them. People who deserve to be friends are those who always support, appreciate, and love you with all their heart. For example, if your friend criticizes the clothes you're wearing, just ignore the unpleasant opinion.
- However, you can take advantage of positive and constructive feedback on self-improvement tips from friends and family members. Supportive people can offer advice that will help you explore new talents and skills so you can develop yourself.
- For example, if a friend says, "I'm worried that your friends will drift away because you've been getting irritable lately. Try to learn to control your emotions.", this input is worth considering.
Step 2. Write down some traits or skills that are your strengths
This step helps you form a positive perception of yourself. Self-deprecation or a sense of inferiority makes it difficult for you to maintain your identity. Get a piece of paper and a pen and write down 5-10 good things you have, for example:
- Able to play guitar well.
- Have empathy.
- Passionate about pursuing goals.
- A good listener.
Step 3. Think about how to take advantage of your strengths
This step allows you to appreciate yourself authentically and consistently. For example, if your strength is being able to empathize, make the intention to show empathy to friends and family members. If your strength is being humorous, make other people laugh by telling jokes.
These tips will help you build a positive self-image so that you can maintain your identity and beliefs because you don't have to live your day in pretense and do things that go against your heart
Step 4. Learn to accept your own shortcomings
Everyone has flaws and these are hard to change. So, learn to accept it and try to use your strengths to show the best aspects of your personality. Maintaining who you are doesn't mean obsessing over being perfect, it's about accepting yourself as you are by finding out your interests, behavior patterns, and personality.
For example, if you are quick to anger or tend to act impulsively, work on improving that aspect of your personality without hating or demeaning yourself
- Ignore people who put you down. Everyone has their own merits in different ways.
- If you can't accept yourself, the best way to stay true to yourself is to try to find out different aspects of yourself. Many of us do not know it or have not determined the purpose of life. This is a natural thing.
- Don't change who you are to impress others! People who can't accept you for who you are are not worthy of respect.