Lying is hard and tricky, especially if you're not used to it. People who are just learning to lie should know some basics, such as only telling small lies and making sure the lies are trustworthy. If lying is planned, memorize the details by taking notes or practicing them until they sound convincing. The most important part to think about is how to make the lie convincing. There are a number of things to avoid to keep a lie from being exposed, such as fidgeting, changing voice, and avoiding eye contact.
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Part 1 of 6: Composing Effective Lies
Step 1. Make up a simple lie
Include details that make your lie seem true, but not so much that it gets complicated. Excessive lying involves a lot of details to remember and often requires a lot of explanation. Meanwhile, simple, no-frills lies are easier to remember.
- An example of an exaggerated lie is, "I was late because I took the wrong turn at Simpang Semanggi, got lost and had to go back to the previous route, eventually arriving at Senayan." On the other hand, a simple lie can be told in just a few words, such as "Sorry, there was a big traffic jam at the Semanggi intersection."
- A simple lie does not require adding unnecessary details.
Step 2. Don't involve other people in lies
Using someone as a witness or alibi will make the lie more complicated than it needs to be. If the person you are lying to checks the alibi, your lie may be exposed.
- If you involve other people, let them know beforehand. Some people don't like to be part of a lie.
- If you're planning on lying ahead of time, at least tell the person you're trying to use as an alibi and ask if they're willing to cover up your lie, not just telling them after engaging them.
Step 3. Create a plausible lie
When lying, only enter reliable information. Do not exaggerate points that will leave the listener wondering. Make a lie that seems realistic.
- Criticize your own lies and judge whether they seem reasonable. Don't just use personal judgment, but think from the side of the person who will hear it.
- For example, telling your wife that a bird flew into the house and broke her favorite lamp would make no sense. A plausible example is that you tripped over your pet dog and hit the lamp.
Step 4. Enter the truth
Pure lies may be easier to detect, but if you pepper them with truth, people will likely believe them more. Look for ways to show evidence that some of the information you say is true to substantiate the lie itself.
- Real emotions are easier to express when telling the truth than when lying. If you emphasize the correct passages, your emotions can be masked.
- For example, say you are out late into the night with a group of friends, one of whom is your ex-girlfriend, Hani. Say to your partner, "I went with Ramlan, Sarah, and Simon." You were indeed with those three, but you lied about Hani's whereabouts.
Step 5. Lie before you have to
You can avoid pressure by starting a conversation about a topic that is a lie. Lie before being asked. Listeners may not think you're lying because you're the one providing the information without being asked.
- If the listener is already angry or suspicious, he or she may be more critical. If he hadn't thought about the situation, he would have been able to accept it without asking.
- If you've watched some friends play music and find they suck, meet them after you get off the stage and say, "You guys are great!" before they had a chance to ask.
Part 2 of 6: Memorizing Lies
Step 1. Record the details
One of the hardest parts of lying is remembering what you said. It gets even more difficult if you have to repeat it with a lot of other people. The best way to avoid mistakes is to take note of the lie.
- If you have time to plot a lie, jot it down in advance. If you lie spontaneously, take note of who you lied to and what you said.
- If the lie can be forgotten, you may not need to keep records for long. However, if the consequences of lying are long-term, keep the record in a safe place.
- Notes can clarify and help you remember. Even if the note is immediately discarded, at least the lie is etched in your head.
Step 2. Practice telling lies out loud
Truth is easier to remember, but lies are quickly erased from memory. Repeating lies will make delivery more effective.
- When you lie spontaneously, you don't have a chance to practice. So repeat what you said afterwards so that it can be remembered.
- If you have time to practice beforehand, say it in a few different ways to find the best pitch.
Step 3. Record a video when you lie
Video cameras aren't needed for petty lies, but when preparing big lies, videos can help. Look at the tape and decide if your lie sounds convincing. If not, find a way to fix it.
- The function of using a camera is the same as using a mirror, but the mirror is more distracting. Videos let you see if your delivery looks convincing or not.
- If the lie is to be believed, watch the video a few more times to memorize the words and delivery.
Part 3 of 6: Controlling the Body when Lying
Step 1. Keep your hands away from your face
Liars tend to move their hands a lot. Drop your hands to your sides if you're standing or on your lap if you're sitting. Do not rub the chin or nose. Also, resist the urge to run your fingers through your hair.
Step 2. Don't move around much
Shaking your body back and forth, tapping your feet, or doing a lot of movement are all signs that you're lying. Also, don't shrug your shoulders often. Maintain a relaxed and calm posture so people don't get suspicious.
Step 3. Open the arms and don't fold them
Folded arms are considered a closed posture and can reveal lies. Do not cross your arms, but drop them to your sides. If sitting, place your hands on your lap.
Step 4. Control the blink of the eye
Liars tend to wink nervously, and that trait is easy to spot. Also, be aware that keeping your eyes open for too long can be suspicious. So, blink normally.
Step 5. Make eye contact
One of the surefire signs that a person is lying is avoiding the eyes of the listener. So, eye contact can be controlled to cover up lies. Make enough eye contact to make people believe.
You have to find a balance between too little and too much eye contact. If you stare into people's eyes non-stop, you'll be just as suspicious as not looking
Step 6. Turn your body towards the person you are lying to
Turning sideways or turning one's body is considered a sign of hiding something. Make sure your body is pointing towards the listener. Also, keep your eyes on their faces, and don't stare at things in the distance.
Step 7. Use physical touch to create closeness
When lying, touch the person you are lying to. Place a hand on his shoulder, hold his hand, or touch his leg if sitting side by side. Touch makes him softer and more trusting.
Consider the closeness of the relationship before touching. In many cases of lying, you can't use touch at all
Part 4 of 6: Controlling Speech
Step 1. Keep the tone of voice normal
Another suspicious change that occurs when lying is a high pitch of voice. Adjust the pitch of the voice so that it sounds normal. Make sure your volume is appropriate for the situation.
- The fact that the tone of voice increases when lying is so well known that people who hear it may immediately suspect it.
- You can also speak in a lower-than-normal tone to balance the tendency for higher-pitched voices to emerge.
- Also, pay attention to the pitch and volume of the voice to suit the situation. Don't speak cheerfully when you should be sorry, or serious when your lie should sound encouraging.
Step 2. Give a straightforward answer
When asked, answer in full, but don't overdo it. Don't stop or add unnecessary words. Convoluted or deviated from the topic is a strong sign that you are lying.
Although it takes practice, you must find a balance between too short and too long answers. Explanations that are too long or too short will also seem suspicious
Step 3. Use casual language
The natural tendency of people to lie is to be too formal. Listeners will notice your attitude is different from usual. Use rebuttal words like “no” instead of “no”. Don't be afraid to use colloquialism or slang as this will make your words sound normal.
For example, say, "I don't know," not "I'm not so sure."
Part 5 of 6: Answering Follow-up Questions
Step 1. Defend your story
After lying, you may be asked to repeat the story or give a more complete explanation. Don't back down or pull a lie. Keep and repeat the same story as the first version. Asking the same question over and over again is a tactic to get people to admit a lie.
Step 2. Add a little detail
When asked to provide more information, don't add too much to make it more complicated. Try to add a bit of information that magnifies the lie, but isn't so hard to remember.
Step 3. Answer a question with a question
Sometimes, you can distract a suspicious person by asking questions back. Say, "You don't believe me?" or “Did you hear a different story from anyone else?” Such a question pressured him to answer.
Part 6 of 6: Responding if Caught Lying
Step 1. Admit that you lied
There's always a chance you'll be caught lying and not get away. Someone might find a video that proves you lied or something similar. Instead of adding lies and making things worse, just admit it and face the consequences.
- Usually, you can regain people's trust by confessing rather than adding lies.
- Learn from the lie and try to avoid it the next time you need to lie.
Step 2. Explain why you lied without seeking justification
After confessing, you may be asked further questions. Don't try to justify why you lied, but explain what you were thinking at the time. Say that you feel the need to lie and that you don't think the truth will help.
The person you are lying to may not accept your explanation, or think that your explanation is illogical or insufficient. Don't argue, but make it clear that you believe in your reasons even if they turn out to be wrong
Step 3. Tell me how you will make up for it
Lies usually inflict some kind of damage. So, once caught, you have to fix it. Give concrete steps you plan to improve the situation. Say what you have planned and then do it.
The damage you need to repair may not be the problem itself, but a strained relationship. You must show remorse and a willingness to make amends
Tips
- If you lie a lot, you may forget what was said or won't be trusted anymore. However, if you lie less often, the occasional lie may go undetected.
- If you sound sure, the lie will be more believable.
Warning
- Lies will usually be caught and there are types of lies that have big consequences. Think about whether lying is worth the risk.
- Never lie about legal matters because the consequences are huge.
