Homophobia is discrimination, fear, and hatred of homosexuals. It takes various forms including acts of violence, hatred, or actions based on fear. Homophobia can be experienced by a person or a group of people, and can create a dangerous environment. Fortunately, you can choose not to be homophobic. It may take time to change your perspective on the world, and it certainly takes hard work. However, you can learn to be more open-minded to create a safer and happier world.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Introspecting Beliefs
Step 1. Write down your feelings
If you make a conscious decision to stop being homophobic, you are already aware of some of the feelings or actions that are bothering you or the other person. Write down what feelings and actions trigger feelings of homophobia. For example:
- "I feel uncomfortable and angry when I see same-sex couples kissing."
- "I don't think it's right for my sister to like women."
- "I don't think it's natural for men to like other men."
Step 2. Examine your feelings
After writing down the specific feelings that make you feel homophobic, it's time to analyze why you feel that way. This is a much needed step to start making change. Ask yourself:
- "Why am I angry when… ? Who or what is influencing this emotion? Is that the reason why I feel this way?"
- "Do I think it makes sense to feel like this? What steps can I take to not feel this way?"
- "Can I express this feeling to someone to examine why I feel this way?"
Step 3. Study your beliefs
Sometimes, confidence is obtained from our parents or mentors. As you introspect your feelings, consider the origins of your homophobic feelings. Ask yourself:
- "Were my parents homophobic and how did their views affect me?"
- "Is there anyone in my life that influences these negative feelings?"
- "Does my education/religion/research make me feel this way? Why?"
Method 2 of 4: Consider Habits
Step 1. Write down your bad habits
After introspecting yourself to find out what your feelings are and why you feel that way, write down your bad habits specifically. It may make you feel ashamed of your past actions, but you better be honest with yourself so you can move forward. Try to write down what kind of consequences it might have. Write as specific as possible:
- "I have a bad habit of using the word 'gay' to describe things. I think it can hurt gay people."
- "I made fun of X in high school and called him gay. That might hurt his heart."
- "I was very cruel to my sister when she revealed herself to the family. I ruined a very important relationship in my life because of my malice."
Step 2. Write down what things you want to change
Write as specific as possible. Once you've become aware of your bad habits and negative feelings, it's time to consider the positives. Write down the goals you want to achieve. For example:
- "I want to stop using the word 'gay'."
- "I want to apologize to the people I made fun of."
- "I want to mend my relationship with my sister and apologize."
Step 3. Realize that this takes time
You have to realize that changing bad habits into good ones takes time. Experts say that it takes about a month to develop a new habit. You may make mistakes later. You may return to the bad habit. The trick is to keep moving forward and keep trying.
Method 3 of 4: Act for Change
Step 1. Fight homophobia
You may have heard or perhaps said, "That's gay!" It was considered insensitive and hurtful to the LGBT community because it was a derogatory sentence. When you hear this statement, try to stop the person speaking by saying:
- "Do you know what that statement means?"
- "Why did you say so?"
- "You don't think it can hurt people?"
Step 2. Respond to homophobic comments
Unfortunately, homophobic slurs are noted as commonplace, especially in schools and colleges. When you hear slurs or homophobic remarks, make sure you respond to them in a reasonable and respectful way. When you hear negative statements like, “Gay people are against God's will,” or, “Everyone gay is pedophile,” apply the following techniques to deal with them successfully:
- Tell the facts. When you include feelings in your speech, it will be easy for other people to ignore them. Present the facts with a cool mind so that your message is more likely to be heard.
- Explain why someone's words are hateful. Sometimes, people say things without realizing the meaning of their words. Explain why the person's words are hateful and maybe he will realize his mistake.
- Say that gay or lesbian is not wrong. That positive behavior can show that you support others.
Step 3. Defend others
Bullying is a serious problem. If you see or hear hateful slurs, words, or actions toward someone (whether homosexual or heterosexual), defend them with a supportive message. You have to be confident and say:
- "I really don't like what you said about X. It really hurts my heart!"
- "Why did you say or do something like that? How would you feel if you were the one who experienced it?"
- "I really don't think we can stay friends if you keep talking like that."
Step 4. Learn from past problems
76 countries in the world currently have laws that punish gays or lesbians. History shows that there have been many discriminatory and hateful acts against the LGBT community. Take the time to study past issues to better understand the LGBT community's perspective on what kinds of problems they have to face.
- Almost throughout history, there have always been cases of homophobia. For example, during the Second World War, the Nazis rounded up homosexuals in concentration camps. Studying history can help put this hatred into perspective and may allow you to learn to be more tolerant.
- You can learn about history through a variety of sources including documentaries, podcasts, books, and the internet.
Method 4 of 4: Pushing the Limits
Step 1. Talk to homosexuals
Once you're comfortable with how you feel, it's time to push yourself toward a change. Try talking to someone who is homosexual. You should respect and be nice to him, and don't ask him specific questions about his sexuality.
- You just have to have a normal conversation and keep an open mind to the person you are talking to.
- Try asking socially neutral questions like, "May I know about your job?" Or, “What movies do you like watching?” Or, “What is your favorite restaurant?”
Step 2. Attend LGBTQ advocacy meetings
Putting yourself in someone else's shoes and understanding the cruel treatment of others is difficult.
- To help open your mind, attend advocacy meetings, demonstrations, seminars, or open lectures on gay or lesbian rights. Again, you must respect others, regardless of your views.
- To find a workable location, look at leaflets on local college campuses. Campuses usually include a more diverse community and often host meetings/open lectures/seminars.
Step 3. Push yourself to make new friends
Once you've opened your mind and adopted a new habit, try making new homosexual friends. Talk to someone who shares your interests and passions, and be yourself!
