If you ever think that you are often selfish, this thought is the right first step to make changes. Changing attitudes or habits is not easy, but you can do it by applying the instructions in this article. There are some great tips to help you become selfless so that you can pay attention to others. Small changes in your daily life can have a big impact on your life!
Step
Method 1 of 12: Learn to listen more than talk
Step 1. Pay attention and listen carefully to what the interlocutor has to say
Selfish people prefer to talk about themselves and get bored easily when the topic is not about them. This attitude must be changed! Give other people the opportunity to give their opinion while listening to what they have to say with all their heart. Learn to listen actively by asking questions, nodding occasionally, and not ignoring or interrupting people who are talking.
- For example, when a friend tells a story about their pet cat that is sick, put down the phone and listen carefully to what he has to say. Nod your head occasionally and ask for further news, for example, "Hopefully Meow gets better soon! Where is Meow now? Should I be hospitalized or can I be treated at home?"
- If you start to get bored, remind yourself that your life and that of others are just as important.
Method 2 of 12: Try to understand what other people are going through
Step 1. Learn to understand other people by imagining you are in the same situation and condition
If you're tired of hearing your friends tell you about their difficulties in life, imagine that you're going through the same problem. Ask yourself what you feel and want if you have experienced it yourself so that you can empathize with your response.
For example, if your friend bursts into tears when your friend tells you that their beloved cat is gone, you may not feel sad because you didn't experience it. Try to understand his feelings by imagining that your beloved cat is missing, then say, "Seli, I'm sorry. You must be very sad to lose Meow. I hope you find Meow soon."
Method 3 of 12: Say less "I" or "I"
Step 1. Control the urge to talk about yourself while having conversations with other people
This behavior usually goes unnoticed, but you can't pay attention to other people if you keep talking about yourself. Try to reduce the "me" or "me" words when talking to other people. Research shows that people who talk less about themselves are happier and healthier. So keep that in mind when you start to focus on yourself.
- For example, when you meet a friend, ask how they are, instead of going straight to lengthy stories about your work.
- Another example, let your partner tell you about his activities at the office when he gets home, instead of just telling him about what you've been up to all day.
Method 4 of 12: Learn to compromise
Step 1. Selfish people demand that things go their way
Compromising means acknowledging that the needs and wants of others must also be taken into account. Instead of pushing yourself when there is a difference of opinion, try to give in a little so that everyone gets what they want, even if not all of them.
- For example, if your partner takes you and your children on vacation abroad, but you object because the cost is too high, discuss this plan with the whole family. Take them on vacation out of town to fill the weekend while hiking or swimming at the beach so the cost is lighter.
- Let your partner know that you appreciate their willingness to take your wishes into account, for example by saying, "It's a relief that you agreed to our hike next week. I'm so happy we got to go out with the kids!"
Method 5 of 12: Give compliments to others
Step 1. Do not hesitate to praise others because this habit does not reduce your greatness
It's natural to feel good when you're praised, especially if you get it for working hard. If you often experience these pleasant moments, do the same by praising the success of others. If you are successful thanks to the support of others, don't feel great! Remember that he also deserves credit.
- For example, when your boss compliments you on a job well done, don't forget to say that the hard work of the other team members contributed to your success.
- When you compliment someone else, you feel connected to them and not focused on yourself.
Method 6 of 12: Let someone else decide
Step 1. Have you always positioned yourself as a decision maker?
Change this habit by delegating tasks. When working in a team, let someone else be the leader. Instead of continuing to talk during the meeting, give the other person a chance to give their opinion. Don't assume that you have to make the decisions.
- If you're on graduation with friends and still discussing which restaurant to choose, let them decide so you can focus on your recreation!
- You can provide input if it is useful. You don't have to think that they have agreed to choose the right restaurant.
Method 7 of 12: Congratulations on the success of others
Step 1. Tell him that you are happy for his success without telling your achievements or comparing yourself to others
If you feel displeased when you hear a co-worker get promoted, it's possible that this was triggered by disappointment with yourself. Do not worry! This attitude can be changed.
For example, when you hear news about a coworker's success, you immediately think negatively about your current job. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on coworkers who have had successful careers and congratulate them sincerely
Method 8 of 12: Say "thank you" for the kindness of others
Step 1. Get in the habit of saying "thank you" when someone does you a favor
It could be that you are less able to appreciate the good things in your daily life if you feel you don't need to be grateful. Unfortunately, this attitude is the hallmark of a selfish person. Therefore, don't forget to say thank you to people who do good to you. This step makes you feel connected to others and motivates you to continue developing yourself to be a better person.
- You can simply do simple things to show your gratitude, such as saying, "Thank you" while making eye contact with the ojol driver who took you to the office or the waiter who just served you food.
- If you want to form a habit of gratitude, keep a daily or weekly journal containing at least 5 things to be grateful for.
Method 9 of 12: Spend more time with friends and family members
Step 1. Know that research shows that loneliness can make people selfish
Interacting with other people is very useful for shifting the center of attention from yourself to others. Unfortunately, people who feel lonely for a long time tend to have difficulty socializing. As much as possible, dare to leave your comfort zone.
- Start socializing by joining groups to enjoy hobbies, take courses you're interested in, and get invited to more often!
- It's normal to be selfish in response to feeling lonely. Unfortunately, the more isolated you are the more selfish you are, the more selfish you become. This can lead to repetitive behaviors.
Method 10 of 12: Volunteer in the community
Step 1. Helping others frees you from selfishness
Volunteering allows you to focus on the needs of others. Besides being useful for others, sharing time and energy selflessly is beneficial for yourself. This step makes you healthier, happier, and feel connected to the community.
You can volunteer by doing social activities to help the homeless or victims of natural disasters
Method 11 of 12: Start raising animals
Step 1. You can practice being unselfish by caring for your pet
If you're having trouble committing and understanding the other person's wishes, a pet can help you deal with this. Come to the animal shelter, then provide proper shelter by caring for them at home. The newly adopted animal will depend entirely on you. So, choose the one that fits your lifestyle.
- For example, if you spend a lot of time outdoors, you might want to keep fish, turtles, or hamsters. You will need to give more time and attention if you have a cat or dog.
- If you like to walk for exercise, your pet dog can be a great friend.
- It's a good idea to have a kitten if you want to take care of a cute animal that's adorable and doesn't need to be trained or taught to obey orders.
Method 12 of 12: See a therapist if you need help
Step 1. One of the symptoms of depression or anxiety is selfishness.
If you're having trouble dealing with this, don't beat yourself up or think you've behaved badly. This attitude can be triggered by other problems that are difficult to detect, such as depression or anxiety. A therapist can help you find out the cause and provide the best solution.
