Delivering a eulogy for someone can be very difficult at times. You want to show love to the person who died, but don't want to cry over it. You may cry a little, but in the end, it's okay to show people that you really value that person's life.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Writing Eulogy
Step 1. Write down what you want to convey
You can't improvise to deliver a eulogy, and you'll need to prepare notes if you want to memorize the speech. You may be overly sad, but you can't laugh at yourself if you forget what you wanted to say. Write notes on a piece of paper, or type your entire speech, then read it at the funeral.
- If you're having trouble getting started, do a brainstom. Give yourself 15 minutes to think about the person you care about, then write down whatever comes to your mind.
- Use photos, memorabilia, and anything else that inspires you as you write.
Step 2. Time the speech according to the number of speakers
Most speeches are 2-10 minutes long. If there are many people giving speeches, the time is certainly shorter. If you are a close relative or the only speaker, you are welcome to speak longer.
A five-minute speech usually consists of 650 words
Step 3. Describe the person who died
Focus on the eulogy delivered to the deceased. You play a role in telling the story and describing the person during their lifetime in memory of them. Therefore, focus on the qualities of your loved ones.
- You can make a list of his good qualities, the things that stood out the most about him in his life, or the beliefs he holds dearly.
- Say what you will miss about the person who died, but don't talk too much about how sad it was. Your feelings are relevant, but don't focus on the speech being delivered.
Step 4. Tell me something
Illustrate your statement about a loved one with an original story that brings out the best in the person who died. This can be taken from a childhood story or when he was an adult. This story will feel more sincere if you witness it yourself.
For example, if the person is always standing up for the weak, you can talk about how to stand up for someone. If he's very intelligent, you can talk about how he handled a bad situation with a bright mind
Step 5. Talk about his life
Let the audience know what the deceased went through and how he lived his life. What is his pleasure, and what is it that makes it difficult? Don't focus on the negative, but admit that he has experienced hardship, such as a long illness or the loss of a loved one.
- Recognize the difficulties he experienced and managed to conquer. For example, if he has lost someone, talk about it and the effect it had on the deceased,
- Describe the importance of the relationship the deceased built, including your relationship with him. For example, you could talk about his great love for his daughter.
- Talk about his interests, hobbies, and talents.
Step 6. Insert a quote if necessary
If there are words that are closely related to the deceased, you can mention them in your speech. This is not mandatory! However, if there is a poem, snippet from scripture, song lyrics, or even a joke that the deceased liked, you can mention it briefly in the middle of the speech.
These words don't need to be discussed at length – what you say personally means a lot more
Method 2 of 3: Practice Speech
Step 1. Calculate your talk time
Practice delivering your speech with a timer with you. Make sure you read the speech slowly and naturally. Try to time it ahead of the target – you may end up crying in the middle or getting another interruption while delivering it at the funeral.
Step 2. Memorize your speech if you like
Memorize your speech carefully to be sure of what you want to convey. While reading it, you may have difficulty memorizing, or you may memorize it easily, but have difficulty understanding the notes made. To memorize, you simply have to read aloud over and over again until you're sure you can convey it without looking at the text.
- Next, deliver your speech without reading, although you may still have to peek at the text every now and then to continue the speech.
- Do this as often as possible. Focus on an area that you often forget, then practice that part more often.
- You don't have to memorize speeches, and reading them directly can sometimes seem more natural.
Step 3. Make a plan to calm yourself down
You may get emotional while reading it, or experience stage fright in front of an audience. It's okay to show emotion, but to make sure your words still sound clear, you should practice calming yourself down even if you've calmed down.
- Take a deep breath.
- Drink a glass of water.
- Look to friends or family in the crowd for support.
- Give commands to yourself using names. Giving orders silently while saying your own name will help you control yourself. If you start to lose control, say to yourself "Tashia, calm down."
Step 4. Practice your speech in front of someone you trust
To make sure your speech is clear, appropriate, moving, and well-delivered, practice it in front of other people. This can be done with one or more people closest to you. Ask them to listen and take notes about the speech.
Method 3 of 3: Delivering a Speech
Step 1. Look at the guests who come
Stand straight facing the mourners. Straighten your shoulders and imagine that there is a rope on the roof that goes to the back of your neck. Place the text of the speech on the podium, if you carry it, or hold it at waist level.
Don't stare at the notes for too long or keep your eyes on the podium
Step 2. Greet the family
Remember to say hello to the people in the front row – they are the closest people to the deceased and feel most saddened by his death. They will listen intently to you, and the rest of the room will pay attention to your speech to the family.
When you are talking to someone, keep your eyes on them
Step 3. Speak loudly and slowly
As you speak, be aware of how you are feeling. If you're feeling nervous, tell yourself to slow down. You may speak faster than you should. Focus your voice – don't shout, but breathe from your belly and try to speak as loudly as possible.
- Speak in a friendly tone. There's no need to play your voice like a play – everyone understands the situation.
- Speak slower than usual. Apart from helping the mourners understand your message, this will also make you feel calmer.
Step 4. Wipe the tears and keep talking
You may cry. Continue the speech unless you are suffocating. If you are speechless, use a prepared self-soothing technique. Guests won't be surprised if you cry – they will sympathize.
