You can't make other people be nice to you, but at least you can give them a reason to be nice to you. Try to maintain good behavior and attitude in people by following this main rule: treat others as you would like to be treated.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Making a Good Impression
Step 1. Be yourself
People find it easier to be friendly to someone who is genuine, honest, and doesn't pretend.
Part of being yourself is staying authentic, even when you're facing fashion or trends. It's natural to want to experiment and try new things to find out what you like and don't like, and what makes you feel good and comfortable
Step 2. Speak humbly
Often people who like to brag or boast about themselves are seen as less friendly or less kind than people who are humble. The more often you value other people, the better they will perceive you.
- Often we try to impress other people so that they like us. Instead of trying to show how interesting an impression we can make on other people, try talking honestly and candidly about yourself when other people ask you questions. However, try to stay focused on the other person so that he or she feels appreciated.
- Make sure you are able to sum up what your friend said. This shows that you really listen to him and, of course, that he will appreciate it.
Step 3. Call him by his name
Remember that for other people, his name is the 'sweetest' and most important thing he hears when other people talk to him. Using or saying his name when you're talking to him is the fastest way to build a relationship.
- Using or mentioning his name in conversation makes him feel cared for, valued, and respected. In addition, a positive impression on you will last a long time.
- For names that are difficult to pronounce, ask the person to pronounce them. Don't be shy-he'll be happy and thank you for asking.
Step 4. Show your empathy
Being kind and open to others will bring many people closer to you.
- By showing empathy and, even, a fragile side, you can encourage someone to become closer to you.
- Show acceptance. In life there are many differences (eg way of life, race, orientation, etc.). The greater your acceptance and appreciation of others and the more you are able to show a more kind and supportive attitude, the better impression you will have on others.
- Show your courtesy and understanding, as well as a good attitude.
- Don't try to 'fix' other people. When you hear about the problem, he will be happy and appreciate you when you ask what you can do to help solve the problem. Ask open-ended questions (eg questions that begin with the question word “how” or “why”) to get him started thinking about what you can do to help him.
Step 5. Try to give
Show your kindness in many ways. Even if no one knows about it, you'll feel more comfortable with yourself for the good you're doing. In addition, several studies have shown that kindness that a person does can bring goodness and happiness to that person.
There are many ways to do good. For example, you can donate clothes to the homeless. You can also sit and accompany the elderly in the nursing home. Make way for other motorists when you're driving down the freeway, or buying someone coffee
Part 2 of 3: Showing Kindness Non-Verbally
Step 1. Smile
Showing an expression of friendliness is the first step to making your friend feel comfortable when they meet you.
Show a smile that is sweet, relaxed, as it is, and does not seem forced
Step 2. Lean slightly towards the other person
By showing a posture that reflects your interest in someone, he can see how good you are to him.
Sit with your body slightly leaning forward (the other person) and your hands at your sides. Arms folded in front of your chest give the impression that you are a closed person or want to 'protect yourself'
Step 3. Listen carefully
Make sure you focus on the chat at hand. Ask questions to show that you are interested and are listening to what the other person has to say. This way, your friends will feel that you are someone they can relax with, trust, and talk to. Sometimes people just want to be heard.
- Ask questions about the other person to make him or her feel special.
- Listen to the conversation as if you were playing a detective game. Your goal is to find clues about who the person really is (eg their personality or character). This will make you more attracted to him and he will be more warm and open to you.
Step 4. Show the other person eye contact
Good listeners show eye contact for about 75% of the duration of a conversation. You don't need to glare at the other person, but show that you are interested in the conversation.
Look at the other person at the distance between his eyes or the bridge of his nose, or next to his ear
Step 5. Ask the other person what they think of you
While you may not always be special or expected by others, you can ask your friends what other people (within your circle of friends) think of you. Also ask if you seem open and friendly, or if you are closed and cold. Who knows all this time you didn't realize that you gave other people a-maybe-unfriendly or cold impression.
- For example, you may feel that the expression on your face when you are actively listening shows great concern for the other person. However, the other person or the other person may look at you as if you were angry or unfriendly.
- Maybe you always offer help to other people because you really want to help and are sincere, but it could be that it is seen by others as something else, as if you feel that other people can't do things well on their own. You may not know or realize this yourself, unless you ask.
- Hold on to your emotions, and be prepared for your friend to bluntly tell you that she or someone else has a different impression than you imagined.
Part 3 of 3: Maintaining Your Self-Respect
Step 1. Respect yourself
People are more likely to like and respect you if you can respect yourself.
Try to be assertive, friendly, candid and confident
Step 2. Be nice to everyone
The theory of indirect reciprocity suggests that even if you are nice to someone and the other person doesn't return your kindness with kindness, someone else will be nice to you. This is because other people will likely see your goodness, form a better view of you, and you will feel good about yourself.
- Being kind to others does not mean that you should allow others to take advantage of or trample on your self-esteem. Remember that you can still refuse or say no; just make sure you don't do it rudely or impolitely.
- Try to be firm and kind, but not easily swayed when you need to say no to something or say no. State your reasons for refusing someone's request briefly and honestly, without extensive explanations.
Step 3. Stay nice even if you feel you are being treated unfairly
If someone is condescending or being unkind to you, remember that your perception is only part of the situation at hand. You may not correctly interpret his actions. Acting negatively because it is triggered by incorrect assumptions will only give you more negative thoughts.
- For example, be nice to your coworker even if you feel like he or she is 'taking' your idea. Maybe he just had a bad day and completely forgot to put your name on the work contribution list.
- Find out why other people are not being nice to you. If you find yourself stuck in a problem and can't resolve it, try to remain polite and understanding to the person, even if it may not be easy.
Step 4. Realize that you have no responsibility to make other people like you
In the end, you can only try to influence how other people perceive you and you have to accept that there are people who may not be able to be friendly to you for one reason or another.
Often first impressions are formed or built by a person's competence (eg in a particular field) and friendliness
Step 5. Don't try to do everything for anyone
Learn the difference between being nice to other people and doing anything for them. You don't always have to pamper or serve everyone.
Instead of trying to gain acceptance from other people by doing whatever it takes for them, try spending time with other people wisely. You will respect yourself more and others will respect you more
Step 6. Identify and stay away from friends who are always a negative influence
Sometimes, no matter how much you try to be nice and befriend someone, they are not the right person and will not change their behavior or attitude towards you. Stick with friends who are supportive and want to make you feel good about yourself, and stay away from friends who are often a negative influence or bullying others.
- Pay attention to whether the person often puts you down, makes fun of your flaws, and whether you feel happy or sad when that person is around. If you feel sad when you're with him, he may not be a very good friend.
- Keep yourself away from the person and do not initiate contact. Also, try to make healthy friendships with other people.
- Stay friendly, polite, and nice to him if you really want to see him, and don't say bad things about him to other people.
