When you experience an embarrassing moment, you may feel like everyone's eyes are on you. And indeed, shame is one of the most common emotions we experience. Shame is shared by all humans in the world, and even by other species. Although we think of shame as a completely negative emotion because of the effects we feel, shame actually has an important social function. With shame, we can determine who we can trust and with whom we want to build further relationships. Try to remember examples of embarrassing incidents that you have experienced. This embarrassing experience is actually an aspect of yourself that can connect you to other people, instead of isolating you from the people around you.
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Method 1 of 3: Coping With Embarrassing Incident
Step 1. Laugh at yourself
Recent research has shown that laughter and humor are key components of general health. The easiest way to deal with anxiety about embarrassing events is to laugh at yourself and what just happened. This will make it easier for other people to laugh with you instead of laughing at you.
- In fact, embarrassment is a great way to connect you with other people, because embarrassment is something that almost everyone experiences at some point in their life. If you can laugh at yourself, then an embarrassing incident can be a great starting point for sparking an interesting conversation or making new friends.
- You can also try to make the event funny. If you handle the situation with good humor, it will be less embarrassing and feel more like a joke. For example, if you fall out of a chair, say something like, "Wow, fell alone without a stunt double!"
Step 2. Admit that you are shy
When something embarrassing happens, you better accept it. You can't turn back time, so what's the point of denying it? Just admit to yourself-and to others if it's appropriate-that you've had an embarrassing experience. This can be a great way to start a conversation with other people, as they may have experienced embarrassing moments to share with you.
Step 3. Explain why the event occurred
There may be circumstances in which the embarrassing moment can be understood and explained. For example, you keep calling someone's name wrong all day long. When you think about it, you realize that you are thinking of someone else.
For example, “Sorry, I kept calling your name wrong. Maybe it was because I was thinking about someone who was going through an ordeal, so my attention was distracted.”
Step 4. Ask others for help
Maybe you spilled coffee on important papers at a meeting, or you slipped and dropped a pile of books at the principal's feet. Ask someone else to help you lift the items. This will turn the situation from embarrassing to a chore to do.
Method 2 of 3: Minimizing Incidents
Step 1. Take a deep breath
After an embarrassing moment occurs, anxiety will increase in some people. The face is flushed, the heart rate and blood pressure increase, the breath is shallow, and sweat begins to collect in greater amounts on most of the skin's surface. To calm down, take a deep breath and reassess the situation. This will help with the psychological response you're experiencing (blushing, for example), and will prevent you from saying or doing anything more embarrassing. Take a minute to calm down, then move on.
Step 2. Don't make yourself into a spectacle
The worst thing to do when an embarrassing event occurs is to exaggerate it. When an embarrassing moment occurs, it's best not to scream, scream, run away in tears, or cry out loud in public. The more exaggerated, the more embarrassing events will be embedded in people's memories. Keep it in your mind that this is just an event that will be quickly forgotten. If your reaction is mild, it's more likely that people will forget about the incident as well.
Step 3. Reassure yourself that the incident is not too embarrassing
You have to face the fact that something bad has happened. But remember, the incident will only feel embarrassing if you convince yourself that it was. If you forget about it and convince yourself that it's not embarrassing, you won't feel ashamed.
- Chances are you're more critical of yourself than anyone else. Psychologists have found that in cases of anxiety or embarrassing events, a person tends to become very self-conscious and overestimates how much attention people actually care for him or her.
- Cultivate this mindset: if something embarrassing happens to you, chances are that the people around you care more about themselves than you do.
Step 4. Do something to distract yourself
After an embarrassing event has occurred, do something to forget it. Try reading, playing your favorite sport, watching TV, listening to music, etc. Divert your attention to activities that prevent you from focusing on the embarrassing event.
Step 5. Learn from embarrassing events
Okay, you've had an embarrassing experience, but take it as a lesson and learn from it. Did you slip and fall in front of your crush? Then don't wear high heels. Do you faint while giving a speech? Research how to calm yourself down before your presentation.
Method 3 of 3: Finding the Root of the Problem
Step 1. Think about the emotions that emerged from this incident
Always remember, you can learn about yourself from things you are ashamed of. Think about what happened. Ask yourself, "From this incident, what really made me ashamed?" It could be that the problem isn't just about the people around you at the time.
For example, if you feel very embarrassed after failing to do something you are usually very good at, it may be because you set your own goals too high. At each embarrassing event, think about what your emotions show about the expectations of yourself and others in general
Step 2. Find out if you have an anxiety disorder
Even though the title of this article is “How to Deal with Embarrassing Incidents,” some people tend to experience embarrassing incidents very often. It can happen almost every day. If you are constantly experiencing embarrassing events without being able to control them, you may have social phobia. It is actually a type of anxiety disorder that is closely related to persistent shyness. This distraction makes it difficult for you to forget the embarrassing event.
If you can't get over your shyness easily, and you experience it very often, take follow-up measures to treat anxiety
Step 3. See a mental health counselor
If you feel there is a root cause that makes your shyness more than normal, talk to a counselor for help. They can help identify your emotions and provide an understanding of why you feel the way you do. They can also provide ways to reduce the level of shame you feel.
Step 4. Practice mindfulness meditation
If you can't stop thinking about an embarrassing incident, try meditating. Remember, that embarrassing incident is a thing of the past. Try to live in the present. Mindfulness meditation is a technique that helps you to be aware and nonjudgmental of your thoughts and emotions. This meditation can help overcome memories of embarrassing events.,
- Sit quietly for 10-15 minutes, take deep breaths. Focus on your breathing.
- Recognize every thought that goes through your head. Identify the emotions you are feeling. Say to yourself: “I feel ashamed.”
- Accept the emotions you are feeling, saying to yourself, "I can accept this shame."
- Realize that this is only a temporary feeling. Say to yourself, “I know this feeling is temporary and will go away. What should I do now?" Give yourself space and justification for your feelings, but be aware that your thoughts and responses can change the reality of what happened.
- Bring back your attention and awareness. When another thought comes to mind, repeat the process of recognizing it and letting go.
- You can also search the internet for mindfulness meditation practice guides.
