Being humiliated is a painful experience, but one we all experience. This happens when we feel unappreciated, either because of the things we do, or things that other people do to us. Sometimes, we are humiliated as a result of what we did wrong, but this is not the right choice of punishment, and no one deserves it. Learn how to deal with the painful experience of being humiliated and live your everyday life again.
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Part 1 of 4: Accepting Yourself and Moving On
Step 1. Accept your responsibilities as they deserve
Being humiliated is painful and feels as though your value as a person is being undermined. However, you must take responsibility if you do make a mistake. The response to humiliation is usually to refuse responsibility and pass the problem on to someone else. Don't let this act of self-defense stop you from confronting yourself and moving on with your life.
Apologize for what you did wrong, such as a mistake at work that caused a lot of trouble
Step 2. Allow yourself to make some mistakes
Feelings of humiliation are often the result of "performance expectations" which means expectations of your ability to do a particular task well. The higher this expectation, the harsher the "punishment" will be if you fail to complete the task. Thus, the level of expectation of a healthy performance is important. Failure is part of the learning process, so don't put too much pressure on yourself, and don't let other people pressure you too.
Step 3. Forgive yourself
Persistence and self-forgiveness are very important when you make a mistake. Feeling guilty for an action can help us learn the problem with our behavior, but it's enough just to learn from it, and get rid of the feeling of being humiliated. Ask yourself if you will repeat the same action again. If not, it means you really regret it.
Tell yourself that mistakes are human and that you did your best to do the right thing
Step 4. Understand that you are not alone
Some people refer to the present as the "era of humiliation." Many people have been humiliated, especially with the increasing reach of the internet which allows the details of our lives to be displayed in public places such as social media websites. The phenomenon of shaming is widespread, however, that doesn't mean your particular situation can be underestimated.
Step 5. Learn to let go consciously
If an embarrassing experience lingers in your mind and is painful for you, use the principles of mindfulness meditation to help you let go of your emotional wounds and move on with your life.
Often times, painful emotions or memories continue to hurt us because they are not expressed. Practice dealing with your emotions without avoiding or avoiding them. Think of those emotions as waves that come and go. Try to observe the waves without disturbing their movements. This will help you create some distance between yourself and your emotions without denying them
Part 2 of 4: Protecting Yourself from the Experience of Humiliation
Step 1. Avoid toxic situations
Sometimes all you need to do to avoid being humiliated is to recognize situations and people who might embarrass you. Recognize these triggers and keep them out of your life. These triggers could be friends who have very negative views and are always dismissive, a work environment that is demoralizing and never satisfied with your performance, or family who try to embarrass you at every opportunity.
Step 2. Be humble
Humility means learning to accept and evaluate your strengths and weaknesses realistically. Taking a realistic view of your character is a powerful way to protect yourself from humiliation that humiliates you. A humble person will not fall into the shadow of a sense of worthlessness resulting from a humiliating experience.
Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Have a good friend or loved one look at it and discuss it with you. Ask the person for an honest opinion and be prepared to take their advice
Step 3. Improve your self-esteem
Research shows that self-esteem can be a powerful defense against being humiliated by failure. Follow these steps to improve your self-esteem:
- Avoid comparing yourself to others. Your competitor should be yourself. The reason is because you don't know what's really going on in other people's lives. As a result, you may compare yourself to the way they present themselves, rather than their true identity.
- Customize your self-talk. Replace negative thoughts like "I can't do it" with hopeful statements like, "This is hard, but I can get through it." Avoid burdening yourself with thoughts of what you "should" or "should" do.
Step 4. Seek help with other psychiatric problems
Some psychiatric conditions can make you more susceptible to humiliation. Social phobia, narcissistic personality disorder, and major depression can make you more susceptible to experiences of humiliation than those who do not experience such problems. If you're diagnosed with one of these disorders, seek help to defend yourself against embarrassment before it occurs.
- Social phobia is a severe fear of being judged by others, with symptoms such as anxiety around people, feelings of isolation, and difficulty meeting other people.
- Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a tendency to view yourself as important unrealistically (such as considering yourself to be the greatest chef in the world even if you have never had a cooking education and have never practiced cooking), are preoccupied with yourself, and lack empathy for people. other.
- Major depression manifests as feelings of sadness, frustration, and other negative emotions that last for several weeks at a time and interfere with daily activities.
Part 3 of 4: Using Self-Assisted Techniques
Step 1. Find out self-help techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy
If you're having trouble getting over an embarrassing experience, use techniques like distraction, relaxation, and repeated exposure to help you get through it.
Step 2. Use distraction to rearrange your emotional reactions
Distraction is the use of phrases or actions to help you deal with a memory, such as thinking "That experience only happens once in my lifetime" each time you remember it. Distraction has been shown to reduce anxiety in these situations because it allows you to choose freely what you pay attention to, rather than focusing on negative feelings and thoughts.
Every time a memory of an embarrassing experience comes up, tell yourself, "Everyone has felt humiliated in their life. I know I can get through it."
Step 3. Try relaxation techniques to help you let go
Progressive muscle relaxation is an exercise to tense and relax muscles in one part of the body at a time. Starting at the toes, arch downwards. Do it for a few seconds, then release. Next, tense the soles of the feet and lower legs. Continue to do this exercise to the upper body up to the forehead.
- You can also try other techniques, such as guided imagination. Imagine one of your favorite places every time an embarrassing experience bothers you. This place could be a candlelit living room, a soccer field, or a beach on a sunny day.
- Relaxing yourself will reduce the chances of you sinking into the experience of being humiliated. It will also help you process and deal with the experience of being humiliated that comes to mind. Usually, the experience will be remembered when you feel so anxious. Relaxation techniques will help you reduce anxiety and get rid of the memory of the experience.
Step 4. Try the repeated exposure technique
This technique involves exposing yourself to situations in which you begin to understand that they are not very dangerous. You can do this for an embarrassing experience, for example, if it happened at school or a certain room at home. Spend some time in that place and let the panic or discomfort subside.
Exposure therapy like this requires you to spend time in a stressful environment for your mind to adapt to the fact that there is no danger there. If you feel sad as you walk into the room where you were humiliated and then leave, this technique will have no effect. Try to get into the room or face the situation, and allow yourself to relax slowly. Breathing deeply regularly can help you calm down and accept where you are
Part 4 of 4: Understanding the Experience of Humiliation
Step 1. Understand the source
The first step to getting over an embarrassing experience is understanding the emotion and its triggers. Being humiliated is the experience of losing one's status as a human being. This demeaning experience has a negative impact on your life because your status as a person of value influences your view of what you think is possible. If you've been severely humiliated, it can change your view of what you might have accomplished in life, such as your ability to pursue an education or career path you wanted. Common experiences of humiliation include:
- Humiliating in public, such as being ridiculed or ridiculed.
- Basic needs such as food or clothing are not met.
Step 2. Recognize the impact of being humiliated
Research shows that being humiliated has a very negative impact on a person's self-esteem and quality of life. This can lead to major depression, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder such as anxiety and suicidal ideation. If you think you're experiencing mental problems as a result of an embarrassing experience, contact your local doctor or psychologist for help.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy can help restore structure to your thoughts and guide you to understand situations more healthily and realistically. This therapy can help you restore self-esteem and confidence in your abilities after a bad humiliation.
- You can contact the local hospital to make an appointment with a therapist. Or if you live in the US or Canada, you can find a therapist near you by visiting this site.
Step 3. Determine whether you are indeed at fault
Sometimes, someone may embarrass you even if you are innocent. For example, if he may be jealous of your accomplishments and want to make you feel inferior. This may have nothing to do with you. So, before taking responsibility for your actions, which is different from accepting humiliation, make sure that you are at fault.
Step 4. Understand the context of being humiliated
Many of us feel humiliated by relatively small things. This failure can feel like a disaster and we may feel that people are underestimating us. However, they may not actually play that big a role. So, avoid exaggerating the little things.
For example, not attending an interview or a musical performance might embarrass you, but it shouldn't make you feel embarrassed
Step 5. Avoid giving in to the act of humiliation
If someone is shaming you, even if you did make a mistake, you should understand that such shaming is not an effective technique for changing someone's behavior. Shaming is a punishment, not a lesson. There is no reason to embarrass anyone, even a convict. So, avoid giving up on this tactic and accept it.
