Being the center of unwanted attention is an unpleasant experience, especially if you're doing something embarrassing. Even being around someone who is embarrassed can make us feel uncomfortable. You may feel hot, sweaty, and want to hide or curl up in a fetal position. Fortunately, there is a better way to deal with this embarrassing situation. Note that showing shame after doing something wrong can actually make you appear genuinely sorry and honest. So in the midst of awkwardness, shyness is not a bad thing but it can serve as an important social function.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Responding When You Feel Embarrassed
Step 1. Apologize when the time is right
If you feel embarrassed because of something you did to someone else, apologize and do it sincerely. After that, don't prolong the problem. Let the person know that you are truly sorry for what happened and don't do it again.
For example, if you mispronounced the person's name, you could say something like this: “I'm really sorry, I've been really worried about Sarah lately; I think I think about it a lot now.”
Step 2. Laugh
Minimize this embarrassing moment by laughing at it. Embarrassing moments can be funny if taken lightly. If you allow yourself to laugh at the moment, then you are not affected by the circumstances.
To laugh it off, try making a joke out of the situation. For example, if you spill mustard on your clothes and feel embarrassed, you might say "now all I need is a really big hot dog."
Step 3. Forget it right away
People have short attention spans. No need to remember that moment. Change the subject in a subtle way to focus attention on something different. Avoid over-apologizing if you did something embarrassing that required an apology.
Changing the subject without feeling awkward is tricky: the best way to do it depends on the situation you're in. Here's an example that you can remember and adapt to your particular situation. Imagine being embarrassed by something while planning to go to the movies in the evening. To change the subject, you need to ask something like, “You've seen the movie, right? What do you think of the film? Is it really good to see again?” This will distract from the embarrassing thing you did to something more relevant
Step 4. Minimize the occurrence of incidents
Remind others that people often do embarrassing things and this is no big deal.
For example, you stumble and fall in front of other people. You can remind others that this happens to a lot of people, while being casual by saying: “one more failure”
Step 5. Position the shame on the other person
If you do something embarrassing, one way to deal with it is to ask about things other people have done in the past that embarrassed them. You can become closer to the person you're talking to by laughing at embarrassing things in the past.
If you use this tactic in the aftermath of an embarrassing incident, you might say: "Now that you think about shame, have you done anything embarrassing recently?"
Step 6. Inhale
You may feel heart palpitations, body heat, and anger. Doing something embarrassing can give rise to these negative feelings. Try to deal with these embarrassing feelings and events by taking deep breaths.
Inhale for 5 seconds through your nose, then exhale for 5 seconds through your mouth
Part 2 of 3: Handling Thoughts and Feelings
Step 1. Get away from feelings
If you're having trouble dealing with embarrassing moments, try to distance yourself and your feelings away. This can be helpful when you feel overwhelmed by your feelings and have trouble thinking clearly because of it.
You can distance yourself from your feelings by imagining yourself in the third person (for example, he shouldn't be embarrassed because everyone does embarrassing things a lot, so this is actually quite normal)
Step 2. Distract
Give yourself time to forget the embarrassing thing you did. There are several ways to distract. You can:
- Watching movies
- Read a book
- Play video games
- Go with friends
- Volunteer for a charity
Step 3. Direct your attention to the current state
Embarrassing moments are a thing of the past. It happened before now. The moment has passed. While it's easier said than done in the midst of an embarrassing moment, try to focus on the current or future moment when facing an embarrassing moment – you may find yourself less distracted by something that happened.
Step 4. Get out of the situation
If you're really embarrassed, see if you can properly get yourself out of the situation. Just say that you need to go to the bathroom or call on an important business. This can give you time to save yourself after an embarrassing incident.
Step 5. Consult a psychologist
If you think you are someone who is easily shy, has social anxiety, or is more easily embarrassed than expected, it is important to consult a psychologist. It can help you change the way you think or react to an embarrassing situation. There may also be medications given that can help you become less sensitive to social anxiety. To find a psychologist, you can:
- Do a google search by typing “psychologist and city name or zip code”.
- Use this link to find a psychologist in your area:
Part 3 of 3: Directing Others' Shame
Step 1. Be empathetic
Try to remember that we all feel shy sometimes. Being shy is unpleasant, so don't do anything that makes someone even more embarrassed.
- To be empathetic, look at the other person's point of view. Imagine how it would feel if you were in that situation. Imagine how he felt with that moment.
-
You can also remind him of the same or similar things that have happened to you or someone you know, to normalize the situation.
For example, if he has failed the last important game of a basketball game and is embarrassed about it, you can say the same thing has happened to you. If the situation hasn't happened to you before, say something similar that you've done before. Maybe you've gone to the wrong gym and missed an entire sports game. Tell me how you felt at that time. This will distract him and remind him that embarrassing moments happen to all of us
Step 2. Change the subject of the conversation
If it's clear that he saw you witnessing the embarrassing moment, let it go and change the subject quickly. Do it so that it looks like you're pressing and as if you wanted to ask something but forgot. This will seem like a natural conversation and not a trick to make her less shy. You need to get his mind off the embarrassing moment, you don't want him to wonder why you changed the subject to avoid an awkward situation, which would make him feel even more embarrassed.
When changing the subject, speak in a pleasant tone. Remember, you want him to think that you finally remembered to ask something. For example, you could ask him if he's heard any important news - if it's something personal that's even better
Step 3. Don't mock the person
He's already embarrassed, don't add to his embarrassment by mocking him to exaggerate the situation. While humor can be a good way to relieve embarrassment, it's best done only when you're the one doing something embarrassing. If you make fun of someone who is embarrassed, you may come across as rude.
Step 4. Pretend you don't know what's going on
Using this tactic will depend on how believable it is. If you both stare at each other during the embarrassing moment, using this tactic is highly discouraged. But if his attention isn't directly on you when he's doing something embarrassing, you can pretend you didn't notice. If he seems embarrassed, you can apologize and say you should check your phone but will come back to talk again.
