Every day is a war. Learning to overcome all those wars is a challenge faced by all of us. If you want to be free and be the most authentic and true version of yourself, you can start taking active steps to live the life you want, the way you want. Take responsibility for your own life and put yourself in it.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Be Your Real Self
Step 1. Determine what total freedom means to you
Can you be free if you stay at home with your parents? Will you be free if you are locked up in prison, or live under a totalitarian regime? Can you be free if you work from 9 – 5? All depends on you. You can actively improve yourself and your place in life, toward a version of yourself that is as free as possible.
To most people, studying abroad seems like total freedom – no parents! Unlimited X-Box! Mixed male and female bathroom! But college life is still a college bubble with less free food than at home, and you have to live by the rules of the syllabus if you want to graduate
Step 2. Know exactly what you want in life
Think deep into the end of your life. When you look back, what do you want to see? Life full of fun? Achievement? Family and success? Endless party? Do you want to be respected and feared, or do you want to live a quiet life in silence and contemplation? Find out and know what will make you happy, and what kind of life makes that happiness possible.
- Many people instinctively think that a lot of money will lead them to unlimited happiness and freedom. While that may be true, it's a good idea to think about what you would do if you had unlimited money. Specifically, what makes life easier? What would you do if money wasn't an object? How do you spend your time? That's your answer.
- If you're having trouble deciding, it's best not to focus on the ideal day – admit it, we all might want to spend a day at the beach – but think about the ideal week. After a full week at the beach, chances are we'll be sunburned and bored. What kind of work would you like to do? When will you do it? Where?
Step 3. Know what's holding you back from getting what you want?
Are you living an ideal life right now? If not, what's holding you back? What needs to be changed to get what you want? If you do live an ideal life, what does it take to maintain your lifestyle? Why don't you do what you want right now, today, right now, right now? What's stopping you?
- Again, it's easy to blame money for our problems: "If only I had money, I could buy a new guitar and my band would be great," we often say, making excuses for not getting a lucrative recording contract, forgetting that a new guitar has nothing to do with writing impressive melodies, playing well, and working hard on stage.
- It's true, if you had the money, you could go on a trip to Thailand, or write a novel all day, or devote all your time to tending to a legacy chili garden. But it's probably not the money that's really holding you back from doing that – but like playing cards, you give up because your cards aren't good, and choose not to continue playing.
Step 4. Know what steps are needed to achieve what you want
Happiness and total freedom are hard to find overnight. It takes effort to get what you want and find the ideal environment in which to live your life. What effort does it take on your part to get to where you want to be?
- Let's say your ideal life involves a small and loving family, which leads to a quiet life in the village and growing vegetables. If living like that would give you the type of freedom you desire, what can you do now to actively direct yourself to that reality?
- In the longer term, you could start studying permaculture, or wildlife management, or any other field that would involve working in nature. Where would you like to own a house? Are you going to build your own house or buy one? What do you need to save to make it happen?
- In the short term, you could check out rural co-ops or communes that you can visit and work in exchange for housing and food. Or the World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF), which is a program that lets you volunteer on organic farms and farms around the world to gain experience.
Step 5. Surround yourself with people you admire
Role models are very important in finding your true self. While we like to think of ourselves as unique individuals, it's important to associate with people who live life the way you want them to, not to imitate their behavior, but to learn and apply those lessons to your life.
Be careful, don't keep comparing yourself to others if it only makes you feel inferior. For some people competition can be good, but terrible for others. Know yourself and focus on your own life. Don't think about other people's lives
Method 2 of 3: Be Responsible for Yourself
Step 1. Do it yourself
If you can do something, do it. If you don't need help, don't ask for help. Being more responsible for your life and being dependable on yourself are the rights and responsibilities of a life lived freely. Give a hand for volunteer work that's your field, and take on projects that might challenge your skills, so you can improve yourself and your work.
- Actively try and develop a list of things you can do yourself. While you can take your car to the repair shop every time the lights go out, you'll save money and be more independent when you learn basic repair.
- Alternatively, it's also good to receive help and learn to know when you need it. Wanting to be independent doesn't mean being reckless and not caring whether you can or not. If you don't know how to change a car tire, learn it, so you can be freer and less dependent on others in the future. But for now, be honest with yourself.
Step 2. Prioritize your wants and needs
Know what you want and what you need to live an ideal life, to help create perspective. "Necessities" include whatever is necessary to maintain a comfortable life. This includes food, shelter, and basic health care. "Wishes" can include travel funds, books and movies, or anything that will improve your quality of life.
- Ideally, when you think of these wants and needs as a Venn diagram, their shape should look almost like a circle, merging almost completely if your life is to be ideally structured. When what you need and what you want are in harmony, you will live the happy and free life you want. What might you need to change to put the diagram together?
- Make a budget to take into account all the needs and as many desires as possible to live sustainably. The less you worry about money – the less you have to think about it – the better and freer you will become.
Step 3. Pay off all debts and live with what you have
Loans and credit card debt will hold you in debt so it will be very difficult to live independently. If you are tied to a creditor, can you truly be free? This is an unavoidable problem for some people, but you can help yourself move towards freedom by paying off debt as much and as quickly as possible, and avoiding new debt.
Step 4. Be the boss of your own life
Find a job you love and a job that will allow you to live freely and do what you want. While you must report to the real "boss", you are not tied to anyone as long as you say so. You are responsible for your own life. If you work in an environment that doesn't provide enough freedom, look for a new job.
- The way you choose a working definition may be a bit tricky. Many people "work" all day doing something that may or may not be their calling. Walt Whitman used to be an ambulance driver, but he also wrote some of the greatest American poetry ever.
- If your ideal life means working only 15 or 20 hours a week, it can be difficult to maintain that kind of life in Manhattan or Los Angeles. Prioritize various aspects of your ideal life. If the desire to live in a cultural center outweighs the desire to work less, get several jobs at once, 8 housemates, and move to a big city. If you think time is more valuable, find a place where living costs are cheap and you'll have plenty of time.
Step 5. Set your own code and live by it
What are the criteria for a life well lived? What does it take to live a world with dignity and balance? The one-man rule may not apply to everyone, but it can be useful if you have a rule for yourself. If you want to be free and make your own decisions, write your code like Klingon or Samurai, and live your life by sticking to it.
Method 3 of 3: Welcoming Every Day That Comes
Step 1. Allow yourself to be impulsive at times
Fried calamari and a Bloody Mary cocktail for breakfast one Wednesday – why not? The work day doesn't have to start with plain oatmeal and black coffee. If it looks good and there's no danger, do it. Changing something monotonous and listening to your own impulses can be a good way to keep your life fresh and vibrant. As long as it's legal and doesn't conflict with other important parts of your life, feel free to act impulsively. Enjoy the moment.
Sometimes, allowing yourself to break a policy or a little protocol rule is great for asserting your freedom in the world. Put the music you want on the jukebox, even if other bar patrons don't want to hear Heard it Through the Grapevine for the full 11 minutes
Step 2. Visit new places
In order to broaden your perspective on the world and learn to embrace freedom, you have to step out of your comfort zone every now and then and experience new things. Visit new places, try new activities, eat new foods. Explore the world and enjoy.
Traveling can be large or small. You don't have to hitch a ride to South America to travel and explore new experiences. Visit a new part of your city that you've never been to, or explore a small town near where you live. Go somewhere with completely unfamiliar people and learn all you can
Step 3. Celebrate every achievement, no matter how small
Allow yourself to feel proud of yourself. Allow yourself to celebrate success, or even celebrate the absence of failure. Every day that you can live successfully is a reason for reasonable celebration. Spend time with people you enjoy and give yourself good reasons to work hard.
Step 4. Start living freely now
The older you get and the more experience you have, the clearer your understanding of one thing will become: the only circumstance that is holding you back from happiness and freedom is yourself. Let go of your prejudices, worries and fears. Free your mind by allowing yourself to experience what the world has to offer and make your every day worthwhile. Live the life you want. There is no reason to do otherwise.
