Constant worry and doubt can interfere with your day-to-day life and increase your stress level. These high levels of emotions and stress can keep you from doing or enjoying the things you love. By refocusing your mind a bit, you can become nonchalant and not let things bother you. You have made something strong and no one can bring you down. "Let It Go" is not your theme song, it's about you!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Get into the Mindset
Step 1. Find the funny side of everything
The advantage of being indifferent isn't about being unhappy – it's about not being easily irritated, angry, or stressed. And how does one do that? Well, start by addressing everything witty. This is a great start. Just as most things have hope, most things have a humorous side to them too.
While this is a simple example, let's say you stumbled on stage at some sort of award ceremony. Instead of blushing with embarrassment, you either ignore it as if it was intentional and take your award off the floor, or raise your arm in a "jreng" moment and accept the spotlight. Let the noise and screaming begin
Step 2. Pretend you don't have the "shame gene."
We all have that little voice in our heads that tells us to look cool and act socially acceptable. It's generally a smart voice in our heads – it makes us friends, makes us connect, and makes life a little easier. But sometimes this stops us from our way, prevents us from growing, and just leaves us worried, emotionally erratic, and anxious. Instead, pretend that you don't have it. How do you behave? What is your body telling you? world?
So much of what we do is to avoid embarrassment and to feel welcome. If that urge wasn't within you, what might you have done differently? Do you really care if Joel likes your shoes or if Marcia texts you back? Probably not. Start by focusing on this for just a few minutes a day until it becomes almost natural all the time
Step 3. Worry less about what you can't change
The world will end someday. Are you worried about that? Probably not. Your mother sometimes wears the ugliest sweaters. Are you worried about that? No. If you can't change it, it's nothing to worry about. What can you do? Worrying about it…and then worrying even more? Yes. No meaning.
So when your teacher announces an impromptu quiz? No reaction from you. There's no point in worrying about it – the only thing you can worry about is doing well. And when your crush doesn't reply to your messages? Relax – you're just finding out anyway
Step 4. Don't take yourself (or anything else) too seriously
All life becomes infinitely easy when you reach the conclusion that nothing is a big deal. We're all specks of dust working smoothly on this incredible blue planet, and if today doesn't go the way we want, well, that's how things are. Bad things will happen and good things will happen. Why should you bother?
You may have met someone who takes themselves a lot too seriously than they should. They worry a lot, often care about what other people think about what they do, say, and what they look like. In reality, other people don't really think about them at all. Just looking at them was tiring because they were so worried about running out. Be the opposite of that person, and be ignorant
Step 5. Do yoga
Yoga is not only a great way to burn calories and build your muscles, it's also fantastic at getting rid of all the chatter in the mind that most of us have. Many studies have shown that "yogis" suffer less stress, anxiety, and even low blood pressure. If you're having trouble changing your mindset, yoga might do it for you.
Another good idea is to do deep breathing exercises. Concentrating on your body and breath will take you out of your mind and into the present. You're more focused on tangible realities, like how the chair you're sitting on feels against your skin and the temperature of the room – and not on anything you've been worrying about lately
Method 2 of 3: Be Indifference
Step 1. Be a grown-up version of yourself
When we worry and worry, we also become superior and selfish. Suddenly, it's about me, me, me and whatever else you want to be fulfilled and now – in other words, we become children. Get to know this part of yourself (we all have it), and instead choose the mature side of you (we all have that, too). How would the more mature, more mature side of you react?
Let's just say you just texted your girlfriend. He hasn't replied yet. Hours ticked, minutes passed, and he still didn't reply. The children in you want, what are you doing? Why haven't you replied yet?! Is something wrong?! Why are you evil?! No. You won't do that. Instead, you take a book. If he doesn't reply, fine. After all you don't really remember what message you sent him
Step 2. Don't show all kinds of emotions
The definition of nonchalant is to be calm and relaxed, pretty much a full day every day. You can show a little interest or happiness – or even a bit of disappointment or frustration – but underneath it all, you are still very calm. It's not about being cold and emotionless, it's about being calm.
Just tell your crush telling you to back off. Unlucky. That's not good. You get the urge to cry and whine and swallow your feelings, but the calmer side of you knows better. And you're not just going to say, "okay," and let it go as if it never happened, because it did. When you talk about it with your friends, you say something like, "Huh, that sucks. I wish it didn't turn out like this, but I'm so grateful I didn't ask her out!"
Step 3. Don't share other people's opinions
You know what opinions are like, right? Everyone has. Trying to please everyone and get everyone to like you is pointless, because it's not going to happen. What other people think of you doesn't matter; life will go on no matter what. What's more, will you remember what Katie said about your hair in two weeks? No. So no need to stress. You do your own thing and that's what matters.
When only your opinion matters, you will find it easier to stay relaxed and stress-free. In other words, indifferent. You control all the opinions that matter. How incredible is that feeling? They don't need your attention and don't deserve to be stressed
Step 4. Watch your body language
Even if we say the calmest things, sometimes our bodies betray us. Your voice says, "It's okay. Don't worry," as smoke rises from your ears and your hands clench into fists. This is not new news, everyone can see it. So when you talk nonchalantly, make sure your body supports it too.
How you position your body will be determined by your situation. The main way to be successful at being worried and anxious (and not being ignorant) is if your muscles are tense. If you think your body may be betraying you, examine your body from head to toe, checking consciously that every part is relaxed. If not, loosen it. Indifference can come from there
Step 5. Develop the perfect "shrug."
When someone comes to you with hot gossip, this is your response. This doesn't necessarily have to be a real shrug, but it's essentially worth it. "Oh, that's great. Where did you hear that?" is a verbal shrug when the other person expects you to say, "Oh my God, are you serious?!" You are essentially letting everything in the left ear out the right ear.
It's important to have some sort of "shrug inwardly" attitude as well. Spilled milk? Shrug. Looks like you might have to clean that up, huh? You gained a few kilos? Shrug. More salads tomorrow
Method 3 of 3: Living an Indifference Lifestyle
Step 1. Pursue your own path
Individuals out there who are not indifferent (worried, if you will), are busy shaping their lives on what others say is okay. They try very hard to do everything right in order to feel accepted and loved. In short, they care too much. And about useless things. Don't copy this lifestyle or anyone else's – go after your own. You don't care what anyone says – you will do what makes you happy.
This helps for a number of reasons. It keeps you busy, it gives you lots of different friends, and it makes you happy and fulfilled. The bigger your world, the smaller it all becomes. That person who could have annoyed you before, not anymore, because you know a lot of other people who are like them
Step 2. Realize that you have lots of seeds
Let's use this example: say you want to start gardening, but you only have one seed. You plant the seed very carefully, watching it day and night, worrying that it will yield nothing and maybe even suffocating it in the process. Luckily, in real life, this is not your garden. You've got so many seeds you barely know what to do with them! You can spread some here, some there, and see the results. How much do you care? Well, some. You want your garden to be successful. But are you going to stay up all night worrying about one little seed? How could it be.
This is a fantastic way of saying that you have a lot going on in your life. If one thing goes wrong, so be it. You've got a thousand other things going on in your life that are going just fine, thank you. No need to worry. If that "seed" doesn't work, you'll plant another one
Step 3. Let someone else initiate most of the plans
Another way to be successful as a no-nonsense is to be overzealous. You are always passionate and busy with ideas and trying to get people to do things. Slowly. To be nonchalant, most of the time let everyone come at you. You are a willing participant, but you just go along. You are not the captain of the ship.
That is, most of the time. You don't want to be the boring bum who steals everyone's good ideas, and you want your friends to know you appreciate them. When you're invited, let them know you had a great time and next time the party could be at your house, for example. After all, friendship is reciprocal
Step 4. Leave it alone
When Idina Menzel sings, "Let it go, let it go" she is not joking. Whenever your mood pendulum feels the urge to swing right or left, pause. Count to 10, and let it pass. Concentrate on being calm, relaxed, and in control. You can. Sure, you're happy, or sure, you're sad – but you won't let it get to you. What's the point of that?
If you're struggling with something that's bothering you a lot, try telling yourself that you'll be worrying about it tomorrow. But this will slip in your mind, knowing that you will be working on it in less than 24 hours. Then what happened? Tomorrow comes and you either don't remember to worry about it, or you feel much better (or at least have more control) about what's going on
Warning
- Remember that neutrality is best demonstrated in times of emotional baggage. It's better to hide your feelings and not scare people. This can define you as someone who is tougher and tougher as a rock.
- Sensitive to other people's feelings. Too much indifference can offend people and alienate them. Unfortunately, this can turn your crush away too, if you're not careful.
