Every woman has a dream of finding the perfect man - the hardest part is turning those dreams into reality. There's no guarantee you'll find one, but there are steps you can take to increase the odds. Read the article below to find out what you can do to find the man of your dreams.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Setting Your Mindset
Step 1. Understand yourself
Understand what you need and separate it from what others expect. Be honest with yourself about your mistakes, you need someone who knows your mistakes and forgives them, who will give you strength. Sometimes, someone who is ambitious can be described as stubborn by people who don't like him. Try to turn any criticism the other person gives into a compliment.
- Truly understanding yourself will make you more prepared when meeting other people. Although maturation is a lifelong process, if you don't understand yourself less, it will be harder to understand the relationship you want.
- Be aware of your weaknesses, and be ready to overcome them. This will make you better equipped to deal with problems that arise in a relationship. If you claim to be perfect, you will be less compromising.
Step 2. Don't expect perfection
If you've found it, that's fine. But admit that you're not perfect either. Nobody is perfect. If you are looking for a man who is 100% perfect, you will not find him. So learn to forgive small mistakes and quirks, and hopefully he'll forgive your flaws too. Make a deal on the things you don't like. If you can't put up with a forgetful guy, maybe you can find someone else who never forgets your birthday or your request.
- If you expect perfection, you will find it difficult to choose a man who has always been right for you. Let's say you went on a date with a guy you thought was “nice” and decided never to see him again; why don't you just make it a rule to date 2 times before you cross him off the list?
- If you turn away from a guy who doesn't meet all of your criteria, you may be missing out on someone who has qualities you didn't know about.
- Remember: not expecting perfection doesn't mean you don't have any criteria. You'd be better off on your own than picking people who weren't good enough.
Step 3. Stay happy being alone
If you are ready to find the man of your dreams, then you must also prepare yourself first. Forget the myths of finding a man who completes or accepts you completely; You should feel that your life is becoming fulfilled and experiencing positive changes when you are with it, not complete.
- You have to give meaning to your own life – through friendships, work, and other interesting things – to make you a happy person and ready to commit.
- To become a mature person and ready to meet the man of your heart, you have to give yourself "time alone". If you spend all your free time with friends or family, you will come off as a non-independent person.
- If you enjoy spending time with a guy, you'll also be a fun person, because you're passionate about sharing things that are happening in your life.
Step 4. Love yourself
This is another important point. If you want to find the man of your dreams, you have to love yourself first. It's not that you have to love every part of yourself, but that you have to be confident about yourself and happy. Understanding your flaws is part of loving yourself, and will make you more humble in your relationship.
- You don't mean to be arrogant about how great you are; You just need to realize that you are a valuable person.
- Finding the man of your heart will not immediately change you to love yourself. You should try to build your own confidence.
- Of course, finding the right person makes you love yourself more. But you must have the foundation to love yourself first.
Step 5. Get some experience
It's true, ladies, you need some experience before finding the man you want. Dating a few guys will help you get a better understanding and style of dating that meets expectations.
- It's not that you're dating someone you really don't like just to gain experience, but that you also have to be open and date some types of guys, which could mean that you need to step out of your comfortable position.
- Having some experience will also help you to realize how difficult it is to find the “perfect man”; every man is different and has his own characteristics, but no one is perfect. If you expect perfection but you've never dated, it's going to be even harder to break that illusion.
Part 2 of 4: Understanding What You Want
Step 1. Establish the qualities you want in the man of your dreams
Even if you don't know exactly who your dream man is until you meet him across the room and feel awkward, you should have a strong sense of what your ideal man criteria are. Your qualities don't have to be like a checklist that must be met, but be flexible to consider what qualities a man really should have. A few things to consider:
- Dating Style. This is an important thing to consider. If you are a person who needs attention 24 hours a week (not a good idea), then look for a man who has the same needs; If you need time with friends and time for yourself, then find a man who can understand it.
- Hobby. Does it really matter if the guy enjoys reading, hiking, running, painting, playing tennis or volunteering as much as you do? If you want your partner to have the same hobbies as you, then find a guy who has the same hobbies – or at least you're enthusiastic about learning about the hobbies he's interested in.
- Personality. Even if you're not perfect, there are some qualities about yourself that you should understand. Do you like to make other people laugh and need a man to share a laugh with? Are you a sensitive person and need someone who can understand your emotions? Good! If you can't stand anything other than a suitable male character, don't push it.
- Social attitude. Are you shy, and need someone to make you brave? Are you outgoing, and need someone who can control you a bit? or do you want people with the same socializing style as you? Often conflicting attitudes are exactly what you're looking for in this category (for example, you don't want a guy who is equally as eye-catching as you are), but first you need to understand your sociability.
- His ability to win the hearts of friends and family. Do you need a guy to get along with your friends or family, or is this not an important thing to you? If you spend most of your time with friends and family, and you need a man who can bring himself in, then this is the aspect you should be looking for.
- Religion. If you are a believer in Judaism and are looking for a partner of the same faith, or a partner who is willing to convert, then you can narrow your search from now on.
- Family values. If you want to have 2 or more children but you meet a man who doesn't like children, don't expect this relationship to work out and don't try to change it – it's more difficult than you think.
Step 2. Determine the deal
The qualities you don't like can be as important as the ones you need. If there are few agreements agreed, it means that your relationship will not work out, no matter how much effort you put in. These qualities need to be matched with the priorities you set – don't be shy about acknowledging them. Below are some qualities that can be used as a deal:
- If you don't like his physical appearance. However, convince yourself that physical attraction can grow over time; maybe this is not the case for you. If the man of your dreams looks perfect but you don't find the attractive side of him, you have a problem.
- Disputes over something important to you. If you're obsessed with Mitt Romney and your partner is a liberal, then you're going to be in constant strife, or realize that this disagreement over core values isn't going to work for you in the end.
- Different residence locations. If you are an actress who has to live in Jakarta, and she lives with her family in Sulawesi, or in another country, then you can't continue your relationship, if you can't compromise on a long distance relationship.
Step 3. Be prepared to compromise – about a few things
While you should stick to your feet and be aware of the red flags telling you that the relationship isn't going to work, you should be open-minded when you start a new relationship, even if a list of criteria is stuck in your mind. If you meet the right guy, you will not even know what you are looking for, so be prepared for this.
- Don't reject a guy just because he meets 8 out of 10 important criteria. He may have other qualities that you didn't even know you needed
- If you have a partner who is always at odds over everything, then you're better off finding a new partner than trying to fix something that's really broken.
- Eventually, you'll realize that it's all about balance. As long as the two of you can make each other happy and complete, you're off to a great start.
Step 4. Know where to look
Knowing what you are looking for is half the process; the other half of the process is knowing where to look. If you know what your dream man looks like but you're just spending time at the wrong house or at the wrong bar, then you're not getting it. The most important thing is to be open to love wherever you go, by knowing where to go looking for the man of your dreams, you will increase your chances of finding him. Below are some places to look:
- Ask your friends. There's nothing embarrassing about asking a friend for help; If you turn to someone who understands you and has strong instincts about the right partner for you, then you have a good chance of finding the right man for you.
- Looking for a partner who can share their interests. Join a running, hiking, or drama club and find a guy who likes the same things as you.
- Looking for a partner at a party. Many people meet their partner at a friend's party; your friends can introduce you to a variety of people who could be a good match for you. If a friend invites you to a party, come to the party.
- Looking for a partner "online". Welcome to the 21st century, girls. More and more people are finding their life partner online, so don't hesitate to give it a try.
Part 3 of 4: Connecting the Man of Your Dreams
Step 1. Be the person you want to marry
What kind of man are you attracted to? What behavior should he have? In order to get the person we like interested in, you have to have the things you want from them too. And look for complementary behaviors – if you're a house-cleaning person, you might be happier with a guy who doesn't like to cook but never complains about being asked to mow the lawn or clean the gutters.
You don't have to be the man of your dreams, but if you want someone who is funny and confident, it helps to have those criteria too, but he can't force you to be someone else either
Step 2. Be an attractive person
Find one or more hobbies that can make you stand out. Whether you enjoy playing sports, painting, playing music, or going to bars, hang out with people who share your interests so you can find the man of your dreams and have fun at the same time. Don't you have any hobbies? Try something creative, you may have an unexpected talent and you like it.
- The more things you are attracted to, the more you can find the man of your dreams. If you have 5 hobbies, you will probably find at least one of the 5 criteria in him.
- The more interested you are in things, the less obsessed you will be with finding men, which will make you look more attractive.
Step 3. Make a good first impression
Even though the guy will eventually find out about your real behavior, you still have to make a good first impression. Try to look cute when you meet him. Even if you're having a bad day or really don't want to leave, you have to be ready with a smile and a joke, because you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams.
If you dress to express a culture like gothic or medieval recreation or something like that, you'll have a better chance of finding someone in that culture but don't look to mainstream men. Artists are often attracted to women who dye their hair, mainstream men don't like it
Step 4. Avoid dependency
Relationships that are highly dependent have bad effects. If you grew up in a dependency environment, seek out a counselor and learn to deal with addictive behaviors before moving on to a more serious relationship.
If you're willing to give up everything you love about yourself to the guy you're with, then you have a really serious problem
Step 5. Realize reality
Don't be someone else, or you'll be branded someone you're not. If you usually look casual but suddenly wear a dress every time you see her, she will have the expectation that you are very girly and will be disappointed if she finds out the truth. If you pretend you don't like reading when you meet him, you'll be at odds all the time every time you order a book via Amazon.
If you don't just be yourself to get to his heart, he'll notice over time, and will feel that you're setting him up
Step 6. Don't rush
This is the key to having a relationship with the man of your dreams. If you like him for a short period of time, that's fine, but don't rush it until you know for sure you're in a relationship with him. If you see him like a husband, father of children, but never tell him. Go through this process at a leisurely pace until you both feel ready to talk about the future.
- If the man is really the man of your dreams, then obviously, you want to tell the truth. But if you admit it too early, you will look like a frustrated woman.
- First of all, talk about the light stuff. At the start of your approach, go on a date once or twice a week, don't call her every day or look for her all the time, or you'll scare her off.
Part 4 of 4: Maintaining Your Relationship
Step 1. Don't lose it for not paying enough attention
Don't be too harsh, or you'll lose a man who means a lot to you. If you've been together and never say how much he means to you or compliment him on anything else, then it's easy for you to lose him. Although in general men like to hold back their affection, they still like it when they are praised and given affection.
- This doesn't mean you have to rush into saying “I love you” – or say it when you don't really love him. This means that men also like to receive compliments.
- When you guys are together, if they like to hold your hand, make out, or kiss, do the same to them. If he feels like he's the one who always starts to give you that affection, then he'll feel like you don't love him.
Step 2. Make sure you match it
This is an important thing to maintain a relationship. Your partner may look nice, but you also need to feel comfortable when you're together. This means laughing easily, communicating well, making eye contact, and being together all the time.
- Feeling fit and comfortable is not something that can be forced, but it is something that must be sought from your partner.
- If you find yourself fighting with him a lot, ask yourself if you don't agree with him or if you both don't want to work things out.
Step 3. Be patient
Give it time. Don't rush into marriage after only six months of dating. If you want to make your relationship last, then you have to stick with it, month after month, or year after year. In the first year, at least, enjoy your life together and make a strong bond before moving on to the next level.
- If you want to end your relationship quickly, talk about marriage with him often.
- Every relationship is different from the other. Don't worry about seeing your friend get engaged after a year of dating and forcing a relationship on your own that isn't ready to be engaged.
Step 4. Discuss long-term plans
If you both want to focus on your career first, then that's a good thing. If you are ready to get married and have children, then that is also a good thing. And if you want to live alone all your life, that's also a good thing. Unfortunately, you can't always agree with your partner. If you always agree with him, then that's a good thing. But if not, talk to him about as many long-term plans as you can.
- Of course, you have to be willing to compromise, but it will be easier if your visions of the future do not differ from one another.
- Of course, the most important thing in talking about long-term plans is to develop your relationship. You both have to plan everything to keep your relationship going.
