Who said communicating was easy? In fact, many people find it very difficult to interact with their surroundings. Often, the hardest challenge for them is identifying the right time to participate in a conversation! Since you can't always avoid social events or gatherings with people you know, you'll need to learn to be sensitive so that it's easier to know when to mingle and engage in an act of communication. If you overhear an interesting conversation and want to join in, try observing and analyzing the situation of the conversation first. After that, join in at the right time and try to keep the conversation going.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Analyzing the Conversational Situation
Step 1. Observe the nature of the conversation
Spend as much time as possible observing the body language of all parties involved and evaluating the nature of the conversation. If the nature of the conversation seems closed, serious, or personal, don't involve yourself in it. On the other hand, if the conversation feels open and more casual, chances are they won't mind if you want to participate in it.
- In an open conversation, the communicating parties will not cross their arms, speak loudly, and sit not too close to each other.
- In closed conversation, the communicating parties will cross their arms, speak in low voices, and move closer to each other so that the things they are talking about are not heard by others.
Step 2. Position yourself naturally near them
As you try to move closer into the conversation, try to position yourself near them to naturally hear the topic being discussed. Have a natural reason to move toward them so you won't be misunderstood as a stranger wanting to eavesdrop on their conversation. For example, you could try:
- Refill drinking water
- Take food
- in line
- Observe the movies or books on the shelves, as well as posters on the walls.
Step 3. Be willing to be a listener
Before jumping into a conversation, first listen to what they are talking about. Understand the topics and subjects raised to prepare yourself to be able to give opinions or ask relevant questions.
- Does the conversation situation feel serious or casual? Does the topic discussed sound personal?
- Are they joking or discussing internal interests? Or does the topic raised have a cause and effect relationship?
- How interested are you in the conversation?
Step 4. Observe your readiness
Be careful, someone with low self-esteem can kill the interest of conversation in an instant! In other words, a maximum level of comfort and confidence is needed to engage in a conversation. If you're still feeling nervous, intimidated, or embarrassed, try taking some deep breaths. Understand your feelings well to measure your readiness to welcome the opportunities that lie before your eyes.
Method 2 of 3: Participate in Conversations
Step 1. Use people you know as shields
If someone you know is between the parties communicating, try to take advantage of the situation. After all, you'll definitely find it more comfortable and easier to engage in conversations with people you already know, right? For example, simply touch the shoulder of one of them to then greet them and show your presence. If this interrupts their conversation, apologize immediately and introduce yourself.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, but John happens to be my office mate so I felt the need to introduce myself. Oh yes, I'm Jane. Nice to meet you all."
Step 2. Introduce yourself to any or all of the parties you are communicating with
If you don't know anyone but want to involve yourself in the conversation, feel free to introduce yourself! This tactic, of course, requires a great deal of courage, but believe me, those around you will admire that courage. Make sure you only introduce yourself at the start of a new topic or when there is a long enough pause so you don't risk interrupting anyone.
- "Hello, I'm Jane."
- "Hello! How are you?"
- “Mind if I join?” or “Mind if I sit here?”
Step 3. Enter the conversation
After naturally positioning yourself around the parties communicating and understanding the topic, try to enter the conversation in a way that seems natural. First of all, make sure you are really interested in the topic being discussed, then try to involve yourself naturally, for example:
- “Sorry, I overheard your conversation…”
- "Sorry to interrupt, are you guys talking about…"
- "Sorry, I was looking through the movie collection and I overheard you say…"
Step 4. Bring up a new topic
After introducing yourself, keep the conversation going by asking questions or bringing up new topics. Make sure the question or topic you raise is still relevant to the flow of the conversation, and never interrupt or change the topic suddenly. Consider raising the following topics:
- Ask questions about the conversation situation: “How do you know the bride and groom?”
- Ask a question or give a compliment about the communication location: “Wow, this place is great! Who chose it?”
- Ask a question or comment about the person you're talking to: "It seems like you guys have known each other for a long time, don't you think?"
- Ask a question or comment on an interesting off-topic subject: “Eh, have you seen the action movie that just came out in theaters? What do you think?"
- Start by telling a story: “I had a very strange experience this morning…”
Step 5. Join an activity
Another way to engage in conversation is to show a desire to participate in an activity. Generally, you can practice this method at a party or similar large event. Observe your surroundings; If anyone is seen playing cards, games, or pool, try joining them. If the event involves music or dance, feel free to invite someone to dance with you! After that, start opening conversations with other participants.
- "Can I join the next game, can't I?"
- "Mind if I join you?"
- "There's still room for one more player?"
Method 3 of 3: Keeping the Conversation
Step 1. Let the conversation continue naturally
Once you've successfully taken part in it, let the conversation continue and don't try to dominate it. In other words, go back to being a good listener to understand where the conversation is going and show them your appreciation. When the time feels right, start with a short comment and assess their reaction before continuing with the comment.
- "Wow cool!"
- "You're serious?"
- “Absolutely unbelievable!”
Step 2. Observe their body language
After successfully participating in a conversation, the next step that needs to be done is to observe how far you can take part in it. One way to do this is to read their body language to understand their acceptance of you.
- Look at the eyes. Take a look at their faces and observe the looks they exchange with each other. If they look at each other with odd or confused facial expressions, it means you're not welcome and it's time to step down.
- Leg position. Observe the position of the feet of the people around you. If someone has their feet facing you, it means they are willing to open up and want to hear your opinion afterwards.
- Changes in body language. Observe their body language changes once you enter the room. Does their body language stay open or open (such as crossing their arms or leaning closer towards you), or do they appear to be closing in on themselves (such as crossing their arms or pulling away)?
Step 3. Ask questions
Do this until you have found a topic to comment on or interest to discuss. If an interesting topic doesn't come naturally to you, try asking basic questions to "get to know the other person better." However, make sure you don't sink into small talk for too long so you don't lose interest in the other person. Some questions that can be used as "bridges" to get to more interesting topics are:
- Where do you work?/ What major did you take at university?
- You live around here?
- Any vacation plans next month?
- Have there been any good movies lately?
Step 4. Show your courtesy and respect
Apply this method throughout the conversation! If other people are discussing a subject you are also good at, give your opinion in the right way. In other words, don't interrupt other people's words just to get your point across. If they're talking about a topic you don't understand, feel free to ask questions at the right time. Also, make sure you always look the other person in the eye and show appreciation for them.
