You've been chatting with a guy for a while and feel that the interest is starting to wane. How to keep the conversation going, without seeming desperate? Do not panic! This article contains a variety of tips and suggestions that can help you provide a new “freshness” in your daily conversations with them.
Step
Method 1 of 12: Ask open-ended questions
Step 1. Open-ended questions require a longer answer than just “yes” or “no”
Try changing your question to make him more motivated to provide more in-depth answers so the conversation can keep going. Pretend to ask yourself a question first. If you can answer the question in a word or two, it probably won't keep the conversation going for long.
- For example, questions like “What are your plans for the weekend?” feels better than questions like “Do you have any fun plans for the weekend?”
- If you're feeling challenged, ask funny or interesting questions like "What's the weirdest site you've ever visited on the internet?" or “If you got a billion rupiah to party, how would you celebrate it?”
Method 2 of 12: Offer follow-up questions
Step 1. Follow-up questions redirect chat “traffic” to the other person
You don't have to ask complicated questions. Simple questions like "What's next?" or “How come?” can encourage him to keep talking. You can also turn a follow-up question into a compliment by saying, for example, “That's cool! Would you like to tell me more about it?” or “Go on! I want to hear more.”
- If you're afraid of sounding too aggressive, insert a warm statement into the question (e.g. “…, of course if you don't mind” or “if you're comfortable answering it.”).
- An easy way to ask follow-up questions is to repeat the other person's last statement. If he says, “I'm going out of town this weekend”, you can reply with, “Ah, so you're going out this weekend?”. Follow-up questions like these can encourage him to keep talking about himself.
- Follow-up questions are great to ask to keep you connected in the chat, without turning the conversation into a kind of interrogation.
Method 3 of 12: Discuss topics you enjoy
Step 1. It will be easier for you to direct the course of the chat if you are in a familiar field or “territory”
Find a way to relate the topic of the conversation to something you understand or are quite familiar with. If the chat starts to get boring, use that topic or area as support.
You could say, for example, “Eh! Speaking of video games, I know an interesting site that gives you notifications about your favorite games!” or “Your story reminds me of a funny thing I heard in class today.”
Method 4 of 12: Talk about the things he is interested in
Step 1. Find out about books, movies, and other interesting things that he is interested in
You might be able to compare it to something you like or jot down some recommendations for yourself, depending on the answer. This step does not give definite results, but the topic of conversation that he is interested in can build a more interesting chat.
- Topics like this may seem "sudden" to discuss and are not the best choice to start a conversation. However, this topic can help keep the conversation going!
- You could ask, for example, "Have you read any interesting books recently?" or “If you are on a desert island, name three films you would like to take with you and why.”
Method 5 of 12: Discuss something you both have or love in common
Step 1. Sports, hobbies, and other popular topics can help keep the conversation going
Think of something that you both enjoy, even if it's a trifle. Topics such as difficult classes/lessons, mutual acquaintances, or the same job can help refresh your conversation with them.
For example, the two of you could chat with the local sports team or share a story about an annoying teacher at school
Method 6 of 12: Give him a compliment
Step 1. Compliments help you get through the awkward moments in the chat
Instead of forcing yourself to think about a topic that is fun and creative, focus on it. Sweet comments or compliments can bring your chats back to life!
You can say, "I was amazed at how quickly you did that math test!" or “At first I thought everyone was not fit to wear a football jersey, but you can prove me wrong.”
Method 7 of 12: Get out what's on your mind
Step 1. Feel free to change the chat topic
As odd as it may sound, speaking out what's on your mind can help keep the conversation going. Usually, people don't mind changing topics and are happy to follow the direction of the chat.
You could start your statement with, for example, "This might sound weird, but…" or "Ah! I suddenly thought…”
Method 8 of 12: Reminisce about your childhood
Step 1. Childhood nostalgia is a great topic to warm the mood
Discuss his favorite childhood memories, or some funny memories. After that, keep the conversation going by sharing your own story. Everyone has an interesting childhood story to tell so stories like these can keep the conversation going.
You might say, for example, “Yesterday my mom took apart some old photo albums. Do you have many childhood photos?”
Method 9 of 12: Subtly switch the topic of the chat
Step 1. Questions and word associations are appropriate elements for changing topics
If he asks a question, you can direct the chat to a different topic through answers. If he doesn't talk much, build up the conversation using words or details of the last thing he said or said. Word associations are a simple “medium” that is useful for changing topics, without making switching topics seem awkward or awkward.
- If he asks, "How are you?" or “What are you busy with?”, you can talk about your weekends or hobbies.
- If he talks about his car, you might say, “I enjoy long car rides, but I think hiking in the morning is more fun. Are there any outdoor activities you like?”
Method 10 of 12: Use another way of communicating
Step 1. Find out if he prefers to chat via phone or video calls
Sometimes, chat via short messages still feels bland. Ask if he wants to chat over a phone or video call. Worst case scenario, he had no interest in doing it. However, in the best case scenario, the two of you can have fun together and even get to know each other better!
You could say, for example, “I have some free time right now. Want to chat via video call?”
Method 11 of 12: Don't dominate the chat
Step 1. You'll end up feeling desperate or pushy if you send too many messages and talk too much
It's understandable if you want to keep the chat going, especially if the chat starts off fun. However, remember that your time is just as valuable as his. If he doesn't seem interested in talking to you, he probably doesn't deserve your time and energy.
For example, when messaging him, don't send more than two messages in a row
Method 12 of 12: Don't talk about your relationship status
Step 1. Complaining about your single status can be annoying
Your frustrations about your relationship status are valid and understandable, but it's better if you complain to a trusted friend or loved one instead of the guy you dream of or like.
