When someone calls you a "cry," it's generally thought you can't control your feelings, or feel sad for no apparent reason. Whoever you are, the nickname "why" isn't necessarily a good name, but don't worry: you can learn to manage your feelings more effectively. When your feelings overflow, they can burst and make you want to cry easily. However, you can learn some techniques to calm your emotions, both in the short and long term. If you're constantly feeling overly emotional, you may also need to look for a deeper cause.
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Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Emotions in the Short Term
Step 1. Take time to inhale
Instead of focusing on what's bothering you, take some time to focus on your breath. Close your eyes, and count to four as you inhale. Count to four again as you exhale. Concentrate all on your breathing instead of your problem.
Place your hands on your stomach. You will feel your stomach expand as you inhale. This is called diaphragmatic breathing, and it helps calm yourself down
Step 2. Talk to someone
Taking a few minutes to talk about what's bothering you, be it with a friend or family member, can defuse the situation. This step can also help you figure out what's really bothering you.
Talk to someone you trust. It's hard to tell that you're having a hard time if you're worried that the other person will judge or ridicule you. Find a trusted friend, family member, teacher or tutor to share your thoughts with
Step 3. Get away
Sometimes all it takes to get rid of tears is to stay away from the problem. If you can, try to go outside for a few minutes to really get away. In addition, being outdoors can help reduce stress within you.
Tell people what you do, if you want. You can say something like "I need to rest now. I'll be back in five minutes."
Step 4. Rest your mind
If you can't physically distance yourself, try to shift your focus mentally. Think about something that makes you feel very happy. You can think of a person and the wonderful memories you have with them. Alternatively, try thinking about your favorite vacation. Focus completely on the thought for a few minutes, trying your best to draw out as many details as possible from the memory.
Step 5. Identify what emotions trigger your tears
Take a moment to think about how you really feel. Are you angry? Sad? Are you actually feeling happy? Many feelings can trigger tears and by starting to recognize them, you can direct the tears more easily as you become more and more aware of when they started.
Be aware of what is happening to your body. For example, anger can make you frown, feel angry and hot, or make your muscles tense. Sadness can make you feel "down" and things "slow."
Step 6. Don't beat yourself up
You have the right to have feelings. Tears are a sign of these feelings. If you find yourself crying, don't start scolding yourself; You will only make yourself sadder and will not improve the situation.
Instead, try to accept yourself. For example, if you're feeling angry, say to yourself, "I feel angry right now. Anger is a natural feeling. It's okay to feel that way, but I can control how I react to it. I don't need to cry."
Step 7. Use positive thoughts
When people are mean to you it can really hurt. This can lead to the appearance of tears. Don't forget to review what people have said to you in a kind way to yourself.
- For example, if someone has made fun of your new haircut, it's natural to feel angry or hurt. Try to remind yourself that what other people think of you doesn't matter; what matters is how you feel about yourself. You could say, "I'm hurt that my friends make fun of my haircut, but I like it. I don't have to feel bad because someone doesn't like it."
- Say nice things to yourself in the mirror every morning. This step will help build self-confidence which can help you control your tears. You are a strong and intelligent person, and you can!
Method 2 of 3: Managing Stress and Emotions in the Long Term
Step 1. Learn to say no
Sometimes, stress and too many emotions can arise because you are pushing yourself too much. Learn to say no to some of your commitments so you can commit to others.
- The best way to resist is to keep it simple. Meaning, don't give too many explanations, just say "No, sorry I can't do that." You don't have to give reasons why you don't have time to commit to something.
- You don't have to say no completely. For example, if someone asks you to cook a cake for a social service, you can say that you don't have time to cook a cake, but are willing to buy some if you can.
Step 2. Practice time management
Don't let yourself get lost in a to-do list. Make a plan to work on everything. Start with what's most important, and make a schedule for working on it. Once you start completing some of the tasks on the list, you'll feel the stress start to melt away.
Step 3. Take time each day to write
Writing a journal about how you are feeling can be a great relief. Over time, this step can also help you learn what's upsetting you, a move that can lessen the pain of the situation.
If you don't know where to start, ask yourself what moments you enjoyed and what moments you didn't like about the day. Pay attention to what emotions are at play in each situation
Step 4. Try meditation
Meditation can be as simple as learning to listen to your breathing. Meditation means taking a step back from the world, taking your focus away from stress and relaxing your body.
For example, one type of meditation involves repeating a mantra many times. A mantra is a short word or phrase that helps focus the mind, such as "om." However, your spell can be anything you want. Concentrate on letting your mind loose, concentrate on repeating the phrase over and over again
Step 5. Try a repetitive hobby
Hobbies like knitting or even solving puzzles can help you get away from your emotions. In this respect they resemble meditation and so help you clear your mind.
Step 6. Exercise often
Exercise is an excellent way to manage stress. First, being immersed in these movements and activities becomes a form of meditation that helps you forget what went wrong. In addition, exercise increases endorphins that make you feel better about life. Aim to do 150 minutes of aerobic activity per week, if you exercise at a moderate intensity.
Step 7. Confront your friends
Sometimes, it's not your fault. Sometimes, what's wrong is the people you hang out with. The next time you find yourself in a situation where someone hurts your feelings, tell them. You can't fix things if you don't say anything.
It can be hard to put into words, but the words don't need to be anything special. All you need to say is, "What you [did or said] hurt me, and I'd be grateful if you didn't do it again."
Step 8. Surround yourself with better people
If you're constantly feeling down because of the people around you, you may need to make new friends. Of course, also give the people around you a chance to change. However, if they repeatedly hurt you, it may be time for you to find new friends.
Method 3 of 3: Identify the Cause of Your Crying
Step 1. Determine if you are being bullied
A bully, whether it's at school, work or the playground, can make you want to cry. Luckily, there are people you can turn to if you're being bullied. Here are the signs of bullying:
- Someone uses their power to control or hurt you. For example, an older child at school nudges you, or someone uses your personal information to force you to do things you don't like.
- The bully may also isolate you from your friends or keep you from doing things at school.
- Bullying can be physical, verbal, or social. Physical bullying includes things like hitting, pushing, and tripping. Verbal bullying includes things like annoying and taunting. Social bullying includes things like ostracizing you, telling other kids not to be friends with you and shaming you on purpose.
- If these things happen regularly, you may experience bullying.
- Talk to a trusted parent, teacher or counselor for help. Don't try to confront the bully alone; You can harm yourself.
- Even "friends" can bully you. Good friends will be kind and supportive. Flirting will be playful, not malicious, and good friends will stop flirting if you ask them to. If you usually feel unhappy when you hang out with friends, it may be a sign that they are not really friends.
Step 2. Dig deep
Sometimes, your surface emotions cover something much deeper. Keep digging to see if there are some other emotions down there, and what causes them. You might cry at school when someone criticizes you, but what really bothers you is something about your boyfriend. If you can figure out what's really bothering you, you can take steps to remedy the situation, such as having a serious discussion with the person concerned.
Step 3. Watch for signs of stress
Feeling stressed can make you feel more emotions and act on them more often. For example, you may find yourself feeling more restless or irritable, and you may find yourself crying more often.
- You may also generally become more restless and find yourself more irritable with others.
- You may also experience physical symptoms, such as not being able to sleep well, having headaches, feeling more tired, and getting sick more easily.
Step 4. Watch your menstrual cycle
If you are a woman, tears may be related to the menstrual cycle. Some women experience premenstrual syndrome, which can begin a week or two before their period. This is most likely related to hormones. This syndrome can cause you to feel emotionally unbalanced when it's happening, including triggering more tears.
Step 5. Watch for other, deeper causes
Uncontrolled emotions, especially if they occur continuously, can be a sign of something more serious. For example, it could be that you suffer from clinical depression or suffer from an anxiety disorder.
