Sometimes we can't help feeling like we're living in a box, doing the same thing over and over again, and worrying about what people think of us and our actions. If you want to get out of the box, and learn to live life to the fullest, start with Step 1 for more details.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Reducing Worry
Step 1. Think less about what other people think of you
Other people are beyond your control, and if you can't stop worrying about your image in other people's eyes, you can't live freely. You can't make everyone happy, so thinking that you can make everyone happy can leave you feeling isolated and disappointed.
- Don't let other people's views become your own words. When you get to the point where you tell yourself and others that you're trying to be the person everyone else wants you to be, you've reached the point that you can't live freely.
- Remove yourself from the "toxic" people in your life. They are the ones who bind you with manipulation, negativity, and other forms of control. Moreover, learn to disengage from these people, by learning nonviolent communication techniques, and defend your own opinion by being less reactive, and being more responsive and assertive; You have the power within yourself to continue to be free from such people and to live free from the harm they cause. Good friends will help you find balance.
Step 2. Stop focusing on the bad
Be a free person by focusing on what you can do, not what you can't do. Turn your attention to what you can do to make things better for yourself and others. By doing this, you will find greater freedom to live the life you want to live.
- Remind yourself of success, not failure. When work and school aren't going as well as they should be, focus on your family, on your relationships, and on getting better at shooting 3-pointers at basketball. Focus on the positive.
- Keep your statement to yourself. Avoid negative statements like "I can't". Statements have power, in convincing yourself and others. By turning negative statements into focusing on things you can do, you free yourself from procrastinating and doing nothing. Instead say, "I can do it."
Step 3. Be honest
Lies create a tangled thread of deceit that keeps you from living freely. Learn to be aware of the lies you tell yourself and others. Being sincere and honest puts you on good terms with people you can trust, because they can recognize your vulnerability.
- Lying is a form of self-defense; for many of us, lying is a natural way of defending ourselves in a conflict situation.
- Lying in the middle of a conflict may seem like a good way to defend yourself so that the other person doesn't bother you, but it actually binds you even more strongly to that person, because you're making things worse and you've forced the lie instead of admitting the truth.
- By responding favorably, you establish freedom in a relationship, as you learn to be aware of the other person's pain and feelings without exacerbating the conflict, and still make it clear that you have the power to make decisions and make your own choices.
Step 4. Accept your financial situation (and lack of money)
Many people equate "having enough money" with freedom, but it's your attitude toward money that defines freedom more than money itself. Treat money as a tool in your life, not a regulator of your life. Learn to save, budget and be a self-aware shopper.
Find ways to break away from the cycle of consumption that you feel is weighing you down. For example, if you are tired of paying a lot of money for organic food, dig up your yard and grow good vegetables and fruits. Maintain it regularly, realizing that the fruit of the energy you put in will pay off in the form of being at one with nature, health from healthy food and being a role model for sustainability for your children, neighbors and friends
Step 5. Create something you are good at making
Start exchanging skills with other people who have other skills that you don't have or don't like, so the cycle goes well. From this way, you also form friendships and relationships that will amaze you.
Use online tools to connect with like-minded people, share goods and services, and encourage each other to live freely. One site you may find useful is Sharehood, a collaborative consumption website that helps you bring your local community and neighbors together to share resources and expertise
Part 2 of 3: Become Healthier
Step 1. Exercise
Exercising makes your body release endorphins, hormones that make you feel better, and staying in shape will ensure you can do the things you want to do. Don't let being sick or unhealthy keep you from doing the things you want to do. Choose a sport that you like to do, because exercise should be fun, not just seen as a way to achieve something.
Release endorphins to free your soul. Endorphins are your body's own mood-boosting, brain-produced biochemicals that respond to pleasurable experiences. Endorphins help you free yourself from the emotions of helplessness that can trap you into a negative cycle. Activities that help release endorphins are good for you, such as exercising, socializing, and laughing, all freeing you up to focus on what really matters in life to you
Step 2. Laugh and smile whenever you can
Smiling changes your frame of mind. Make yourself laugh at something every day. Start by laughing at your funny or quirky thoughts, then move on to watching a funny movie or going to a comedy club or doing something that makes you laugh. Laughing and smiling boosts your immune system and makes you feel better by releasing endorphins. Laughter makes your brain think that you are happy, and puts you in a very good mood, in a good state of mind.
Step 3. Spend some time in the sun
The sun can brighten up your day as well as your mood. Go out in the open, do some trekking, enjoy nature and spend time with people. Of course, pay attention to a safe time to enjoy the sun, especially in summer.
Step 4. Spend time with friends
Hanging out with friends brings out your empathy; understanding and being understood can improve your well-being, as well as help release endorphins. In addition, spending time with friends and socializing also increases your serotonin levels, which is also important for improving your inner well-being.
Part 3 of 3: Changing Routines
Step 1. Do something new as often as possible
Being open to something new is a source of freedom as you expand your horizons, discover hidden talents and open yourself up to the good in life.
- See new activities as opportunities, not as something to worry about. Most of the struggle is in your head, "before" you want to take on a new activity.
- Congratulate yourself every time you try something new. And tell others what you have done, to encourage their good. Your story can help others to live freely too.
Step 2. Pretend that you have background music every day of your life
All movies have soundtracks and so should you. When you're out for a walk in the pouring rain, lift your spirits with something that keeps your feet swaying and your mind amused.
Step 3. Do something out of the ordinary or spontaneous
Spontaneity is often lost as you enter the working life of adults, parenthood and social obligations. Obeying what society expects of adults to often squelch the opportunity to be free, to do something out of the ordinary. Bringing a little spontaneity and impulsivity back into your life can bring balance to your life.
- Try fun activities that Improv Everywhere has done, like gathering over two hundred people for a downtown walk using the famous invisible dog toy and pretending that dogs are real. Doing something that makes people laugh is a great way to live free and get out of the box you feel trapped in.
- Search the internet for flash mob videos to find actions that bring laughter and fun into people's lives.
Step 4. Walk
Go outside and start walking. Keep going in no particular direction and don't stop until you have to. There is something great about walking without direction and purpose in our minds.
Step 5. Occasional indulge in impulsive desires
It's okay to occasionally just do something without thinking it through. Drink cendol at breakfast or shave your head without warning if you want. Embrace surprise and spontaneity. Replace the mundane with things that make you more enthusiastic each day. Who knows what will happen!
Step 6. Do something you really enjoy regularly
You don't have to be "good at" doing what fulfills your desire, you just have to "love" the activity. Maybe writing, maybe drawing, maybe playing sports. Whatever it is, embrace it with all your heart and allow yourself to get really involved in it. Tell your family about the activity, convince your friends to try it, do it and allow your life to revolve around something you love.
Tips
- Don't silence yourself. Expressing enthusiasm, pleasure and admiration are things to be proud of. When people tell you to shut up, don't stop; instead you can practice your expression skills until you know the appropriate level of enthusiasm for each different audience.
- Always leads to an increase in your energy level. By being energetic you will live more freely because you are not passive and hold back. Tired people always make the "same as usual" choices because conflict requires energy and the status quo means they can stay put. But inertia or inertia is not freedom, but imprisonment. Therefore eat healthily, focusing on foods that produce maximum energy in your body. Regular exercise increases energy and strength. And being spiritual regardless of your beliefs or secularity––finding what moves you spiritually generates inner energy that helps restore you whenever something knocks you down.
- If you don't like something, be tactful about telling people about it, don't lie to cover it up. Often times such lies will later turn around and bring you down. Generally people are stronger than you think, and even when they mumble about your courage to show your stand, they will appreciate your stand even if only inwardly.
- Find the perfect balance between being stubborn and being willing to go with the flow. Sometimes it's better to let the world flow as it should, other times, being proactively involved in changing the direction of the flow is essential. You will learn to tell the difference from experience but you have to dive in and try to learn.
- Choose to view life as something fun. Of course there are difficult and challenging moments in every person's life, but life is not only made of those experiences. Unfortunately, there are people who make you think that life is hard. It's important to fight the negativity that people emit on a regular basis, to help them see that they are imprisoning themselves by creating an outward appearance that consumes energy. Without downplaying difficult situations people face, look at the brighter side of situations that people complain about often, such as the weather, queues, missed deadlines, and so on. Most of them are not life-or-death situations, so it's not worth it to drain us of energy and be negative. Be kind when you fill their life with a more positive way of looking at things.
- Manage your stress. Living free means living stress free too; stress brings you down and threatens your health and well-being. If you can't manage on your own, seek help from a support group or read self-help/self-management books.
- People will always judge. Judging is easier than looking inside and finding your own flaws that need attention. The important thing is to learn to tell the difference between constructive judgment (the type of judgment that contains the truth about what you need to improve, usually delivered by an expert or experienced) and hurtful and hateful judgment (the type of judgment that criticizes simply for not caring, hate, jealousy or cowardice, and usually comes from people who don't have the knowledge or think they can do better.) By knowing the difference, you can learn from one judgment and ignore the other, and become free.
- Choose your battles wisely. Realize when it's time to give in rather than enter into a fight (note, this option works best most of the time). Keep things that matter to you that if lost would be destructive or produce non-constructive results. And learn to end a difficult conversation or argument, rather than make it hotter––by being a nonviolent communicator, you can help people reach compromises and understand each other, rather than trying to cheer up only to be louder the next time around.
- Get enough sleep according to your age, gender and personal needs. Lack of sleep makes people become unsightly, until eventually they get used to it and make you think that the dizziness and feeling of being semi-conscious you are experiencing is normal. People who lack sleep tend to be more negative than those who get enough sleep, they also lack energy and are less resilient in facing life's challenges. Break your sleep deprivation habit and start improving your sleep, and you'll find yourself freer to show the world your true personality!
- This world is full of hateful people. They are people who don't want/can't live freely and definitely don't care what happens to anyone. As Ellen De Generes says, turn people who hate you into your motivator. Whatever they say, be wise about it, and keep doing what you want to do. Remember that when you run home feeling defeated, they will still criticize you, so choose to do things that set you free, instead of trying to fit into activities that don't suit you. It's best not to give your haters the power to dictate what is good or bad for yourself.
- Acceptance is everything, accepting yourself and who you are and accepting others and who they are. Not everyone can live freely as described here––some even feel very threatened by the thought of losing their routine, acting spontaneously and doing new things. While you can be a role model and motivator, and help others be open to seeing the opportunities in this world and their own talents, you can't force anyone to do anything. Avoid forcing your choices on others––doing so is increasing your sense of freedom at the expense of their perceived freedom. Realize that your reality is your own, and to other people, freedom can be something very different from your perception of freedom itself. Make space for them in your life without disturbing them.
