Today's lifestyle that places so much emphasis on money, fame, and looks is likely to make your life feel less good, especially if you don't have any of these things. You may be disappointed that your current life doesn't feel good, but you can use this condition as a source of motivation to get the life you want. However, try to understand that life satisfaction must come from within, not from outside, namely by exploring and developing your potential.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Fixing the Mindset
Step 1. Be a good person
Believe it or not, being nice is the first step to feeling the power you have. If you feel unworthy or unkind, you may not be aware of the effect those feelings have on other people. In reality, you have forces that have a positive or negative impact on life. Bad moods can be contagious, as can feelings of happiness and positive emotions. Research shows that doing good will increase levels of the hormone serotonin in the brain, the brain chemical that triggers feelings of happiness. So even if you don't feel well, still be nice to others because this way makes you feel better yourself.
- Make occasional eye contact. Greet the other person and ask how they are doing or offer a sincere compliment. Memorize people's names and ask about the news of the closest people from friends or coworkers.
- Consider various possibilities. We don't know what other people are going through. Maybe you're the only person who's been nice to him today without realizing that a word or smile can lift someone's spirits, even people you don't know.
Step 2. Try to make yourself feel good, even if you pretend
Doing fun activities that bring you happiness can really make you happy. If you're happy because you're doing someone good, pretending you're happy gives you the same feeling.
- If you feel lethargic when you wake up in the morning, deal with this feeling by channeling positive energy. Stand in front of the mirror smiling at yourself. Although it looks stupid, this method is very useful. When someone asks you how you're doing, respond as if today were the best day you've ever had, for example, by saying, "That's great!" or “Today was a great day!”
- Showing happiness can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Practicing smiling and saying that your life is great makes you feel really good. Research shows that faking a smile and regulating facial expressions as if smiling causes the same changes in autonomic nerves that a normal smile produces. For example, biting a pencil with your front teeth activates your facial muscles, creating a smile and after a while you'll feel calmer and happier.
Step 3. Know the virtues that you believe in
Maybe you underestimate your own goodness because you focus on the quasi-possession, for example: a car, appearance, or house. Pseudo things will pass, wealth may be lost, but kindness (love, respect, integrity, and honesty) remains. Learn to appreciate true beauty, commendable character, genuine friendship, and your family.
- Write positive adjectives that describe yourself and the people around you. Some of the highly commendable qualities may have been forgotten, for example: reliable, trustworthy, compassionate. Determine what traits you value and then try to see if those traits are reflected in your daily life and in other people.
- Compliment others for their good qualities, not for their appearance or possessions (you can still give these compliments, as long as they are followed by compliments based on good qualities). For example, say to a friend, “I really appreciate your honesty. Even though we don't agree, I'm really grateful that you're being candid.”
Step 4. Change the way you see yourself
What you feel about yourself and your daily life usually comes from inner chatter about yourself. What you say about yourself makes you feel better or worse. Positive inner talk makes you more confident, more able to respect yourself, and improve your mood. On the other hand, negative inner chatter will trigger depression, anxiety, and prolonged low self-esteem. Change negative inner chatter in the following ways:
- Be aware of your thoughts and ask yourself are you feeling better or worse?
- When you notice a negative thought, turn it into a positive statement. Example of negative inner chatter: “I don't deserve respect. I can't get the job I want." These negative statements can hinder your progress and opportunities in the future. Turn negative statements into positive, hopeful inner conversations, for example: “I have various talents and abilities. I must get a job or I will pass the time by doing activities that support the development of my talents.”
- Talk to yourself like you would a good friend because you would not be condescending or criticizing a good friend. Instead, you'll be nice and remind him of positive qualities he may have forgotten about. Give yourself the same kindness.
Part 2 of 3: Get Rid of Comparing Yourself to Others
Step 1. Reflect on your positive qualities
Comparing yourself to others means underestimating your success and makes you feel unhappy. Besides, your life isn't as pleasant if you set the standard against which to measure success against the standards of others. Comparing yourself to others will take away your happiness because there will always be someone who is smarter, faster, or richer than you, but there is only one “you”. Try to appreciate all the good you have.
- Write down all your strengths on a small piece of paper and then stick it in the mirror so you can read it when you get ready each morning. Put the note in your wallet and stick it in a visible place in the car to remind you of the positive things you have.
- If you're having trouble pinpointing your strengths, do some self-reflection to find them. Reflect for a few minutes and then write down positive things that have happened to you, how you experienced them, and how you show kindness. Think about the activities and jobs you enjoy the most. These things reflect your strengths.
Step 2. Don't flatter celebrities
When you compare yourself to other people and their lifestyles, you tend to get caught up in thinking they have better things than you. First, comparing your life to that of others is not realistic. Second, you don't know the life of a person behind his luxury and fame. Physical appearance can hide suffering, obligation, sadness, anger, disappointment, loss, boredom, and who knows what else. Don't believe in over-publication. Famous people are also human.
Step 3. Realize that everyone can make mistakes
As explained above, all people have good and bad qualities. If you're constantly thinking about your own flaws, but really admire the strengths of others, stop immediately and try to see the truth. Test your inner chatter and listen carefully to what you are telling yourself. Change irrational negative thoughts, for example: "Everyone wears cool clothes, except for me." If you can see reality, there will always be exceptions to that statement.
Step 4. Develop your life
One of the reasons that your life feels less good is that you haven't utilized all of your skills and talents. Find a way to live a meaningful life. For example, if you enjoy playing music, show off your skills by appearing at religious events or non-profit organizations.
- On the other hand, life can feel disheartening if you don't have enough challenges. Think of ways to improve your quality of life that you can do, for example: learn a foreign language, take up a new hobby, or teach someone else a skill you are good at.
- In addition to challenging yourself, doing hobby activities is one way to strengthen social bonds, increase self-esteem, and make you able to accept yourself.
Part 3 of 3: Cultivating Gratitude
Step 1. Be a person who is always grateful
Gratitude is one ability that is not possessed by people who feel inferior. Your life will feel valuable if you are able to accept reality and realize how good what you already have. If you are healthy, have no critical illness, can eat your fill of the day, and can sleep well, what you experience is still better than the life of 70% of the human population worldwide.
Keep a journal or download an app on your phone to jot down the things you're grateful for. Thus, you can see the positive things in everyday life
Step 2. Remember the small, meaningful moments you've had
Try to remember an experience that made you feel very happy and valuable, such as when you gave support to a friend who was going through a difficult time or when you helped someone else to feel special and loved. Try to bring back the feelings you were experiencing at that time. Notice that you've had good events from time to time that align with your core values.
Step 3. Realize that being a member of the family is important
If you have no relatives, value friendship with friends. You are very lucky if you have children, have a partner, parents, siblings, or close friends. Scientists have found that people who are not sociable are 50% more likely to die young than people who are social.
Try to strengthen relationships with family members and friends because maintaining good relationships is very beneficial for health. Show friends and family members that you value their presence and role in your life
Step 4. Help others
Volunteering to help and serve others less fortunate makes you feel valued and needed. Help others by serving the elderly in nursing homes, giving toys to orphanage children, feeding the homeless, helping victims of natural disasters, or donating to charities.
Volunteering is a way of reducing stress, leveraging your abilities, boosting your immune system, and bringing about change in your community
Tips
- There are people who find it helpful to believe in a reality greater than themselves. If you believe in the power of prayer, use your faith to get through times like these. If you don't belong to a particular religion, but want to learn how to live a religious life, go to a mosque, temple, or church. Ask a friend how he or she has overcome adversity through a religious life. If you want to develop a spiritual life, find peace by meditating.
- Sometimes, life is unpleasant because we do things just to get off work. Take advantage of the time by doing a new hobby or learning new things, such as learning a foreign language. In addition to doing productive things, making progress while learning a new skill makes you feel satisfied and happy.
