It's normal to have negative thoughts from time to time. However, too many negative thoughts can cause problems. If it persists, negative thoughts can affect many areas of health, including physical health. There are simple ways to change your mindset and get a more positive perspective, including self-talk, visualization, and distraction. Keep reading to learn more about how to deal with negative thoughts.
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Method 1 of 3: Understanding Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Understand that negative thoughts have a function
While they may be distracting and foster a sense of helplessness, negative thoughts have benefits. Some psychologists even believe that a hint of pessimism is healthy because it forces us to put more effort and thought when faced with a bad situation.
If you have been having negative thoughts for a long time, know that you are not the only person experiencing them. Negative thoughts occupy a large portion of our overall mind. Even negative thoughts may indeed be part of human psychology. Like our ancient ancestors, we are constantly observing our environment and trying to improve it. This process becomes a problem when we start to think that negative thoughts are true
Step 2. Know when negative thoughts become a problem
If negative thoughts affect your behavior or interfere with your daily life, that's when negative thoughts become a problem and you may need to seek the help of a mental health professional. Too much negative thinking can make the problem worse because you think bad things will happen. The explanation for the phenomenon lies in self-fulfilling prophecy, which refers to a cycle of having preconceived notions or thoughts about a situation, which then leads to the emergence of new behaviors, which in turn lead those prejudices into reality.
For example: You expect to fail your English exam tomorrow. Because thinking that you will surely fail tomorrow then your behavior or action is not learning. Then, the next day, you fail the test. The long-term consequence is that you start to think that you are stupid or that you are bad at doing exams, which leads to more exam-related problems
Step 3. Be aware of the different types of negative thoughts
Negative thoughts take many forms. Being aware of these forms helps you know when negative thoughts arise, and how to deal with them. Not all negative thoughts fit into a category, but there are some common types you may experience.
- Screening is when you ignore any positive aspects of a situation. For example, if you successfully passed a difficult course with a C+ grade, but actually expected an A, you might think "I'm an average student".
- Black and white thinking is when you refuse to see the gray area and make an all-or-nothing judgment. For example, if you get a B- on a test, but expect an A, you might think "I'm a stupid student."
- Overgeneralization is when you assume that if something happens once it will always happen again. For example, if you get a B- on an exam, but expect an A, you might think "I'll always get a B- on all exams."
- Rushing to conclusions is when you assume you know what someone is thinking or feeling. For example, if you get a B- on a test, but expect an A, you might think "the teacher must think I'm stupid."
- Catastrophizing is when you think the worst always happens. For example, you might be catastrophizing if you have the thought “I must have gotten the worst grades in class!” before each test.
- Personalization is when you believe that you are influencing a situation or event that is beyond your control. For example, if your boss scolds you all the time, you might think "it's my fault the boss scolds me all the time".
- A false belief in control is when you feel that you are not in control at all or that you are in control of everything. For example, you might think "no matter what I do it won't help me get an A on a math test."
- A false belief in justice is when you believe that bad things happen because life is unfair. For example, you might think "I got a B- on a math test because life isn't fair."
- Blaming is when you believe that someone else is responsible for your emotions. For example, you might think "Susie is the reason I'm always sad."
- Emotional thinking is when you assume a feeling is true just because you have it. For example, you might think “I feel like a loser. So I'm a loser."
- A false belief in change is when you believe that other people need to change in order for you to be happy. For example, you might think "I'll never be happy until Susie changes her attitude."
- Global labeling is when you put a bad label on yourself or others because of an event or action. For example, if you forget to study for an exam, you might think “I can't be trusted.”
Step 4. Make a thought note to better understand the motivation behind negative thoughts
Journaling about negative thoughts can help you understand and deal with them. Start by writing down an incident that you regret, that you think could have gone better, or could have handled better. If you can, write down your feelings about the incident as well.
For example, you might note something like, “I didn't do very well on the English exam. I feel nervous before the exam because it reminds me of the time I failed the exam.”
Step 5. Recognize automatic thoughts
In addition to noting negative thoughts about situations, note automatic thoughts as well. That thought pops into your head all the time. Such thoughts seem to arise without warning or reason.
For example, maybe you have automatic thoughts such as “I am stupid”, “I disappoint”, or “I will never be successful in life”
Step 6. Determine the type of negative thoughts you have
Reconsider the most common types of negative thoughts to help you determine what category of thoughts they are. Identify the types of thoughts you have and write those labels in a thought journal.
For example, if you often think “I'm stupid”, you might label those thoughts as “Black and White Thinking” for ignoring things you can do well
Step 7. Find the main concern
In order to overcome negative thoughts, you need to be more aware of these thoughts and their relevant beliefs and beliefs. Pick a negative thought, and think about the anxiety that might cause that thought. The process may make you feel uncomfortable, but it's important to understand the motivation behind negative thoughts.
For example, there may be negative thoughts such as “I am stupid”. The motivation behind the thought may have to do with anxiety about your natural intelligence and abilities
Step 8. Examine the root causes of negative thoughts
Remember that negative thoughts are related to beliefs or assumptions you have. It is important to try to find the root of the belief or assumption in order to eliminate it.
For example, if you frequently have thoughts about failing your exams, consider the role your parents and teachers played in developing that belief in you. Do teachers and parents say that you won't be successful in life if you keep failing your exams?
Step 9. Challenge negative thoughts
You can also understand negative thoughts better by challenging them with specific questions. This technique can be used when you are aware and able to recognize your negative thoughts. The goal of challenging negative thoughts is to realize that most negative thoughts are not a truth but just a reaction to something. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Is this thought correct?
- If you think a thought is true, how do you know it is true? What are the facts?
- How do you react to negative thoughts? What did you do, think, or feel as a result?
- How would you act and behave if there were no negative thoughts?
Step 10. Identify areas that need positive change
Finding areas in need of positive change can help you refocus and produce more good in life. Ask yourself if your negative thoughts tend to be connected to certain things in your life, such as work, relationships, or physical health. Start with one of these areas and find things you can do to improve the situation.
For example, if work is constantly causing stress, think about things you can do to change it. You may still need overtime, but you may be working more than necessary. You can think of ways to get rid of unnecessary tasks or improve time management. Also, learn stress-reducing techniques
Method 2 of 3: Voicing Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Understand the benefits of talking negative thoughts out loud
In addition to writing down and thinking negative thoughts, discussing them aloud can also help you overcome negative thoughts. Using positive self-talk to discuss negative thoughts can help change your perspective and, over time, reduce self-criticism.
Step 2. Change negative thoughts as they arise
To start using positive self-talk, don't let negative thoughts happen without turning them into something positive. The process may feel awkward at first, but over time it will become easier, and you will begin to develop more positive thoughts. The next time a negative thought arises, turn it into a positive one.
For example, if the thought “I will never succeed in losing weight” occurs, turn it into a positive statement. Say something like, "I'm going to keep trying to lose weight." By turning negative thoughts into statements of hope, you force yourself to focus on the positive parts of a situation
Step 3. Acknowledge that negative thoughts are not real
You can overcome negative thoughts by acknowledging that they don't reflect who you are and that they are just thoughts. When negative thoughts arise, repeat them to yourself out loud. When voicing these thoughts, make sure you label them as a thought.
For example, if the thought “I am a failure” occurs, admit that it was just a thought. You can do this by saying to yourself, “I have the thought that I am a failure.”
Step 4. Know the motivation behind negative thoughts
Remember that sometimes your negative thoughts have a function. Sometimes, your mind is just trying to protect itself from trouble or prevent something bad from happening. It doesn't mean that the thought won't bother you. It just means that you will have to use a different approach to dealing with that kind of thinking. One way to deal with negative thoughts that arise as a result of the mind's efforts to protect you is to say thank you out loud for your thoughts.
For example, you might think, "I'm going to be late for work because of this traffic jam, and the boss will scold me." In this case, you can say to yourself, “Thank you, mind. Thank you for warning in my interest, but you don't have to do anything right now."
Step 5. Identify your “story”
Negative thoughts have a pattern that can be made less disturbing if they are labeled according to the type of story the thought is telling. In other words, you may have different thoughts that all have the same basic meaning. Find and label patterns of negative thoughts. It can help you let go of negative thoughts.
For example, if you tend to say, "I'm bad at my job," to yourself, you might say to yourself, "Oh, so this is a 'I'm a bad worker' story." Summarizing a thought in this way will help remind you that you often have similar thoughts
Step 6. Turn negative thoughts into songs
Sometimes you can overcome and correct a negative thought by making a joke out of it. As silly as it sounds, you may be able to get rid of negative thoughts by singing them. Use tones from familiar songs, such as " Row, Row, Row Your Boat " or songs of the alphabet, to turn negative thoughts into songs.
If you don't want to sing, you can speak negative thoughts in a funny voice, such as the voice of a cartoon character
Method 3 of 3: Developing a More Positive Mind
Step 1. Accept the fact that you will always have negative thoughts
Having negative thoughts is nothing to be ashamed of; negative thoughts are caused by anxiety and not by who you are. Trying to get rid of negative thoughts will likely only make the situation worse. Negative thoughts can diminish with practice and with time. As long as you practice examining your mind and its role, either as a self-protection or as a source of anxiety, you can control the influence negative thoughts have on you.
Step 2. Distract yourself with positive activities
Staying busy gives you less time to reflect on your thoughts and can also remind yourself of the things you enjoy. Find an activity you enjoy or try something new. For example, you can:
- Go jogging: this physical activity will tire your mind and help reduce stress.
- Take a walk to a place you like, such as a park.
- Watch a funny movie or TV show, read a funny book, or listen to a favorite radio podcast.
- Spend time with friends, family members, or social communities. Staying connected with others can help you feel more positive and take your mind off yourself.
Step 3. Take care of yourself
Taking good care of yourself can also help you deal with negative thoughts. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and regular exercise can help you feel better, both mentally and physically. Make sure you eat a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly to reach your best mental and physical condition.
- Aim to eat a balanced diet that includes fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein. Avoid low-nutrient foods (junk food) and excess sugar and fat.
- Get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. Keep in mind that these recommendations are for adults only. Some people may feel enough with less than 7 hours of sleep and some may need more than 8 hours of sleep per night.
- Exercise for 30 minutes, three times a week. Even a 30-minute walk or two 15-minute walking sessions can help.
Step 4. Use daily positive affirmations that encourage yourself
Positive daily affirmations can help deal with the negative emotions that often accompany negative thoughts. Take a few moments each day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging. You can say something you believe about yourself or something you want to believe about yourself. Some examples of positive affirmations include:
- "I'm smart."
- “I am a caring person.”
- “People love spending time with me.”
Step 5. Forgive yourself when you make a mistake
Forgiving yourself, like forgiving a friend, is an important part of learning how to deal with negative thoughts. If you have negative thoughts that stem from mistakes you made, learn how to forgive yourself. One way you can start to silence personal criticism is to learn how to forgive yourself when you make a mistake, the same way you would forgive a close friend.
The next time you make a mistake, take a deep breath and try to stop yourself from having any negative thoughts. Instead, practice saying something like, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person."
Step 6. Congratulate yourself on small victories
Another way to fight negative thoughts is to congratulate yourself on doing something good, and remind yourself of the things you've done well in the past. Every now and then acknowledging your success will help you stay focused on the positive aspects of yourself and stop negative thoughts and feelings.
