Negative thoughts and feelings can arise at any time so that we neglect the positive things that are worth being grateful for. Often times, the mind is affected by negative situations and wallows in negative emotions resulting in bad habits that are hard to break. However, you can change these habits by forming a new mindset.
When work piles up so that it triggers stress, a busy mind makes us even more depressed and feeling down. Therefore, set it aside to relax, calm the mind, and relax.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Forming a New Mindset
Step 1. Focus your mind on the present
When thoughts are out of control, what do you usually think about? Maybe you continue to regret events that happened even though they were only last week or are hoping for something that hasn't happened yet. The best way to stop thoughts that are like broken records is to be aware of the present by focusing on what is happening right now so that the mind is distracted from negativity. Oftentimes, focusing on the present keeps the mind from wandering because it can suddenly be controlled and fully realized. Thus, the thought process is diverted and directed to another subject. This seems easy, but in reality it is not. To be aware of the present, follow these instructions:
- When you see a calming image, your mind will relax and calm itself again, but this can happen if you don't try and hope that your mind will calm down again. This is the best method of relaxing and calming the mind.
- If the steps above don't work, control your mind by counting down in multiples of 7 starting from 77 or choosing a specific color (eg green) and then looking for a green object in the room. This step helps you distract negative thoughts so that they focus on the present.
Step 2. Interact with other people
The habit of wallowing in negative memories or emotions is formed because you unconsciously ignore the reality around you. Once you set your mind to breaking the habit of negative thinking and interacting with other people, you reduce the chances of negative thoughts and emotions that have been draining your mental energy. Problems are even more difficult to deal with if you judge yourself with negative thoughts. For example, you may feel guilty or angry because you keep thinking about the unpleasant person, forming negative habits or thought patterns that are increasingly difficult to control due to the causal process. Apply the following instructions to initiate interactions with other people:
- Be a good listener when having a conversation. Try to listen to what the other person is saying, instead of listening while thinking about something else. Ask questions, provide feedback, and be fun to talk to.
- Get involved as a volunteer or make a contribution to the community. This step helps you to ignore negative thoughts and feelings because you will be meeting new friends so you can discuss important and interesting topics.
- Focus on your body. Pay attention to the atmosphere around you and where you sit in the room. Observe the physical sensations that arise when sitting or feet on the floor. The reality of your life is where you are right now. You can't bring back the past and it's impossible to predict what will happen tomorrow. Focus your mind on where you are physically right now.
- Say the phrase silently or out loud. Physical activity makes sounds able to direct the mind to the present. Say, "Now is the present" or "I am here." Say the phrase over and over again until your mind is focused on the present.
- Do activities in the wild. Being in a different environment stimulates the five senses to collect more data so that the mind is focused on the present. Observe people walking around you. Watch for any small changes, such as a bird perching on a branch or a leaf falling to the curb. Every living being experiences the present in its own way.
Step 3. Don't criticize yourself
Being negative about yourself in various ways will trigger negative thoughts and feelings. Once you start self-deprecating, your mind will branch off so that it can distract you from your daily life. For example, when you are chatting with friends, you are busy thinking about how you look or how you behave, instead of focusing on the conversation. Self-awareness is needed to eliminate negative thoughts and emotions so that you are able to fully involve yourself when interacting with other people.
- Practice focusing on the present by doing activities that you really enjoy and that make you feel more confident in your abilities. For example, if you are good at making cakes, enjoy sifting flour, beating cake dough with a mixer, filling trays with dough, smelling cakes filling the kitchen, tasting freshly baked cakes.
- When you are able to move with mindfulness, observe and record in memory what you feel and how to achieve it so that you are able to experience this condition as often as possible. Remember that the only reason you are unable to rid yourself of negative emotions is your thoughts. Therefore, eliminate the mental dialogue that criticizes yourself while living your daily life.
Method 2 of 4: Understanding Knowledge of the Mind
Step 1. Know your role in controlling your thoughts and feelings
Thoughts usually appear in certain patterns when you think on autopilot. Work on eliminating negative thoughts, rather than simply interrupting the process. In addition to preventing negative thoughts from recurring, make sure you don't trigger new negative thoughts. This requires a strong determination to change habits, instead of just thinking consciously.
Based on research, changing habits takes 21-66 days, depending on the person who wants to make the change and the habit you want to change
Step 2. Observe things you've been through to open your mind and understand how your thoughts and feelings control you
By observing the mind, you immediately know that 2 things are at play, namely a theme and a process. In this case, the so-called process is the process of thinking or expressing feelings.
- The mind doesn't always need a theme to start working on. Thus, the mind can be preoccupied with something irrational and aimless. The mind uses anything as an excuse or a distraction to keep it busy, even when your body is in pain, something scary is happening, or you are trying to protect yourself from something. If you observe the mind like a machine, you may come to the conclusion that it can use anything including physical sensations as a theme or topic to "get busy."
- Thoughts that arise based on certain themes are easier to observe, for example when you are angry, anxious, or feeling the emotion of having a problem while thinking about it. Thoughts like this usually come up over and over again and focus on a particular theme.
- Obstacles are difficult to circumvent because there is a very basic problem because the mind should not be attracted or consumed by themes and processes that trigger negative thoughts or feelings. This condition occurs when you admit that the theme and thought process is not useful. However, there are many issues that we are reluctant to ignore or acknowledge as stressors because we want to continue to discuss the themes and issues (e.g. when we are angry or anxious, we want to think about the details: the people involved, the location of the incident, what happened, why, and so on).
- The "want to question" or simply the "want to think about" something is stronger than the will to ignore negative issues. When the desire to think negative is stronger than the desire to ignore negative issues, we cannot afford to ignore negative thoughts. If we are careless or not aware of this condition, we start attacking ourselves. If you think on autopilot, negative thoughts run rampant. The attack acts as a new distraction from the issue at hand so that the mind remains in full control even though it doesn't seem like it. Therefore, try to conquer the "want to think about" something by telling yourself, "It's time for me to forget the past and start anew" in a calm, but persistent and assertive state until the will to ignore negative issues is stronger than the desire to think about it.
- Another problem arises when we think of feelings as one of our identities or aspects of ourselves. We do not want to admit that these aspects trigger suffering or sadness so that we are always depressed. Many people used to think that all feelings are just as important when dealing with "me" or "mine." Some feelings trigger stress, some don't. This explains all of the above methods that you should observe your thoughts and company as best you can before deciding whether you want to keep or forget a certain feeling without blaming yourself.
Step 3. Compare the theory described with your experience
If you want to ignore negative thoughts, experiment with these instructions:
- Try to get rid of thoughts of polar bears or strange things, like a heron with purple balls drinking a cup of coffee. These examples are often used, but are still relevant to demonstrate the dynamics of the mind. The main objective of this experiment is to prove the ability to dispel thoughts about polar bears or when we remember a sad thing, we want to forget it by ignoring and eliminating the thought and the theme that is the object (eg polar bears). Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try to forget it, the polar bear remains in your mind.
- Say you are holding a pencil and want to put it on the table.
- In order to put the pencil on the table, you must hold it.
- As long as you maintain the urge to put down the pencil, this means you still holding it.
- Logically, you can't put down the pencil if it's still being held.
- The greater the effort and intention expended when thinking about desire put down the pencil, the longer you hold it.
Step 4. Learn to ignore negative issues by stopping resisting the thoughts and feelings you want to get rid of
Physical theory applies to the mind. When we force the urge to eliminate a certain thought, we try to hold on to it so that something can be removed. The harder we push ourselves, the mind responds as if it's being attacked, making it more tense and chaotic.
- Instead of forcing the desire, the best solution is to let go of the grip. Thoughts and feelings will pass just like a pencil that falls off by itself. You need to practice to be able to do this because if you force it, negative issues will become more ingrained in your mind. This happens because the mind is accustomed to rejecting it so that new mental activities are formed.
- Negative thoughts and feelings remain, even if we hold on to them because we want to explore or reject them. Therefore, we just need to let go of the grip.
Method 3 of 4: Honing Skills
Step 1. Improve your mind control skills so that you can use them when negative thoughts and feelings arise
Know that something is making a thought or feeling pop up over and over again. To stop it, apply the following tips or ask yourself a question:
Have you ever read a book, watched a movie, or did the same activity over and over again that you lost interest and felt bored? If you do the same thing by exploring the mind so that it loses interest, you will no longer have the attachment to the thought and so it is easier to get rid of it
Step 2. Build mental and emotional strength
You're tired of dealing with thoughts and feelings that keep lingering in your head, but have you ever looked for a solution? Thoughts and feelings are even harder to get rid of if you just ignore them without ever being willing to accept them. Take time to feel deeply about the things that need to be felt before they are removed. If thoughts direct you to a sequence of events or trigger certain emotions, they will use judgment as another means of controlling you. Remember that the mind is the source of manipulative skills and so it controls more tricks than we know. This happens because the mind that wants to stay busy and addicted to things takes advantage of our desires so that it continues to process and control us. In conclusion, addiction makes us controlled by the mind.
- An effective mantra to remember when dealing with negative thoughts and feelings: You are the only person responsible for your happiness. Thoughts and feelings don't need to be allowed to control your life. If the past or worries about the future and other desires are controlling your happiness, this means that your thoughts and feelings are unhelpful.
- Do mind manipulation. You can use various ways to control your thoughts, for example by manipulating your thoughts or changing your perspective. Replace negative thoughts with calming thoughts. Even if it's only temporary, these tips are still useful when needed. It's easier for you to forget negative issues when you have the right perspective on which to stand.
- If the thoughts and feelings triggered by the problem keep popping up, take time to think calmly and then work out a solution, even if you have to accept the fact that you're not the decision maker.
- You may be sad if the thoughts and feelings that arise are related to a sad event, such as having to part with a loved one or experiencing grief. Stare at the photo while reminiscing the beautiful memories with him. Cry when you feel better or write down everything you feel in a journal.
Method 4 of 4: Be Positive
Step 1. Do some tips to motivate yourself
When you're stressed, tired, or sad, thoughts and feelings that seemed lost can come back. Prevent this by applying a few tips to help you get through a tough time without being controlled by negative thoughts and feelings.
Step 2. Visualize
For busy people who barely have time to relax, visualization is very useful, for example by imagining a pleasant and relaxing place or using the following guidelines:
Imagine you are in a field full of flowers and the atmosphere is very pleasant. Take time to enjoy the beautiful scenery, blue sky, and fresh air. Then, imagine in that location standing a city full of tall buildings, buildings, roads, and vehicles. Visualize this city disappearing slowly so that it returns to an empty field with beautiful views. The imagination represents our mind which is basically empty and peaceful, but we build a city that is full of various thoughts and feelings. Over time, we get used to the city and forget that underneath is always an empty field. When you let go, all the buildings disappear and the field (peace and quiet) is empty again.
Step 3. Reflect on your past successes
Life is full of fun things, for example, helping others, completing tasks, achieving targets, outdoor activities while enjoying the beautiful view at sunset, gathering over dinner with friends or family members. Contemplating positive things in everyday life can increase self-confidence and make life more enjoyable.
Be grateful for your life right now. Write down 3 things you are grateful for every day. This step helps you calmly reflect on things that have happened when your mind is racing
Step 4. Watch yourself
When you're feeling down, it's not easy to maintain optimism by gathering strength and energy. Take care of your body, soul, and mind in various ways so that you are not controlled by negative thoughts and feelings.
- Get in the habit of getting enough sleep at night. Lack of sleep makes it difficult for you to think positively. So, make sure you get 7-8 hours of sleep every night.
- Apply a healthy diet. Eating nutritious foods with a balanced menu is beneficial for maintaining brain health, for example by eating enough fruits and vegetables.
- Exercise regularly to relieve stress and keep your body in shape. Both of these things play an important role in everyday life because they have a big impact on thoughts and feelings.
- Do not consume alcohol and drugs. Alcohol is a depressant that makes the mind uncontrollable if consumed in excess. Likewise with various types of drugs. If you are used to consuming alcohol and drugs, stop immediately to improve mental health.
- Seek a counselor if needed. Maintaining mental health is as important as maintaining physical health. If you're having trouble controlling your thoughts, don't try to work it out on your own. Talk to a mental health professional or people who can help you think positively, such as a counselor, spiritual director, social worker, or psychiatrist.
Tips
- Remember that thoughts and emotions can change at any moment like the weather. If you are like the sky, thoughts and emotions are like rain, clouds, snow, and so on.
- The more you practice, the easier and faster you will control your thoughts and emotions.
- Understanding the thought process makes it easier for you to control your thoughts. You simply relax and observe your thoughts including thought reactions for some time. Imagine that you are a scientist who is researching a new species and figuring out how it lives.
- Don't have any attachment to feelings of pleasure and happiness because feelings can change at any moment. We are not able to regulate our thoughts using certain standards to always feel calm. Instead, use feelings as a yardstick for understanding and calming the mind.
- Ask a mental health professional for help if your thoughts and feelings are getting in the way of your daily life.
- Close your eyes while observing the thoughts that arise and then say to yourself "STOP". Do it over and over again until you are able to control your thoughts.
Warning
- Your mind will protect you if you try to resist negative thoughts as a way of defending yourself when attacked.
- Consult a therapist if needed. Don't hesitate to ask for help.
- The mind is always changing and reacting to various impulses so it is impossible to be free from stimulants. This happens because of the existence of mind and body. We are not able to arrange it the way we want.
