Self-esteem begins to grow and develop since childhood. In general, people who are often criticized by family members, friends, and society will feel inferior or inferior because they lose confidence. This makes them incapable of making decisions, even the simplest decisions. However, feeling inferior can be overcome by growing self-esteem to restore self-confidence. This is the first step towards happiness and a better quality of life. Want to know how? Read on for this article!
Step
Part 1 of 4: Determining How High Your Self-Esteem Is
Step 1. Understand the meaning of self-worth
Self-esteem or the way we value ourselves plays an important role in maintaining emotional health. A person is said to have high self-esteem if he is able to love and accept himself as he is and feel satisfied with his life. On the other hand, inferior people are people who always criticize and are unable to accept themselves as they are.
- Research conducted by The Center for Clinical Interventions reveals that people with low self-esteem fully believe that they are bad personalities. Such beliefs are considered as facts or truths about them.
- If left untreated, low self-esteem can lead to lifelong problems. Many insecure people who become victims of violence in relationships, always judge themselves, and are afraid to fail so they never set goals.
Step 2. Do a self-evaluation
The first step to fixing and overcoming bad mental habits is to admit that you feel inferior. Negative thoughts about yourself are one of the causes of feeling inferior. Things to think about can be related to physical conditions, such as shape or weight, and various aspects of life, such as career and personal relationships.
- You may feel inferior if you frequently criticize yourself through mental dialogue or self-perception.
- You have high self-esteem when you say positive and pleasant things about yourself during mental dialogue.
Step 3. Listen to your inner voice
As you reflect, determine whether your inner voice is saying something positive or negative. If you're having trouble pinpointing or spotting a particular pattern, write down your perception of yourself every day for a few days to a week to find the pattern or tendency.
- An inferior person's inner voice usually describes one of the following traits: complaining, generalizing, comparing oneself to others, exaggerating problems, or reading other people's minds/assuming. Even though everyone is unique, you still assume that other people look down on you or have a negative perception of you.
- The first step to building self-confidence is eliminating negative inner voices about yourself. The next step is to replace it with positive thoughts.
- For example, instead of saying to yourself, "My job application was rejected. I'm a loser because I'll never get hired again" change it to, "I'm disappointed that I didn't get the job, but I've tried my best and there are still plenty of good job openings. for me. I will continue to fight for it."
Step 4. Find out why you feel inferior
Feelings of inferiority are not passed down since you were born. This happens because of unmet needs as a child, negative comments from others, or very bad life experiences. Feelings of inferiority can be overcome by finding out the cause.
- If you find a particular pattern when evaluating mental dialogue, go back in time to the first time you said the same thing to yourself.
- For example, if you say negative things to yourself because of your weight or appearance, try to remember the first time you felt uncomfortable because of your weight. Did this arise because of the comments of a person or group of people?
Step 5. Increase self-esteem by making a plan
The best way to cultivate self-esteem is to turn a negative, self-critical inner voice into a positive, motivating mental dialogue. However, you have to change the way you see yourself. Taking the first step, being positive about yourself, is the best way to boost your self-confidence.
For example, say to yourself, "I want to be more positive about myself and talk to myself like a friend, not an enemy."
Part 2 of 4: Take Care Of Yourself More
Step 1. Write down all the positive things you have
Focus on the positive things you have to remind yourself of something more helpful than what the negative thoughts are telling you. Congratulate yourself on your success without judging it.
- Self-respecting people admit that they have a positive side, even if they are not perfect.
- Put the note in an easily visible place, such as the mirror in the bathroom and read it every day. You can extend the list when your conscience is more positive.
Step 2. Keep a journal to record positive things about yourself
Keep a record of all accomplishments, compliments from others, and positive thoughts about yourself. You can't get rid of negative thoughts completely, but you can increase your self-esteem if you focus on the positive more often.
- Journaling is a great way to monitor mental dialogue and increase self-esteem.
- Focus on journaling by jotting down positive things to counter the negative thoughts that usually arise through mental dialogue. For example, if you are used to reproaching yourself for not expressing your opinion on an issue being discussed, don't forget to take notes every time you share your opinion during a discussion.
Step 3. Use the journal to make a plan
Try to improve yourself without demanding perfection in every aspect of life. Set clear and specific goals, but leave room for imperfections.
- For example, instead of saying, "I will oppose people who spread discrimination and hatred," you might say to yourself, "I will speak calmly when refuting the opinions of people who spread discrimination and hatred."
- Instead of saying, "I don't want to eat sugar to lose 15 kg of weight," say to yourself, "I will try to live a healthy lifestyle by eating nutritious foods and exercising regularly."
Step 4. Forgive yourself for not being perfect
Remember that everyone has flaws and no one is perfect. So you don't have to be a perfect person to increase your self-esteem. You will be able to appreciate yourself more if you can accept yourself as you are even though there are still things that need to be improved.
- Say a mantra to yourself, for example, "Don't worry. I'll make it."
- For example, if you lose your temper and scold your child at the park, tell yourself, "I'm not perfect and I want to learn to control my emotions. I'm going to apologize to my son for scolding him and explain to him why I'm upset. Be patient! I'm a mother. the good one."
Step 5. Consult a professional therapist
If you're not able to improve your self-esteem on your own or feel very frustrated trying to figure out why you're feeling low, see a therapist who can help you identify the cause of your problem and address it.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help change the negative thoughts that come up automatically about yourself and teach you how to effectively deal with your emotions.
- If you want to address more complex self-esteem issues, deep psychodynamic therapy is a great option to identify the cause.
Step 6. Get involved in charity work
Many people feel more valuable when they are able to contribute to others. Joining a volunteer in a social organization is beneficial for both parties, yourself and the people you are helping are both lucky!
- Look for nonprofits that engage in activities that interest you.
- Volunteer with friends or a group of friends because the work will feel lighter and more fun when done together.
Part 3 of 4: Adopting a Positive Lifestyle
Step 1. Take time to pay attention to yourself
Even if you are very busy, try to do activities that make you feel relaxed and happy. This method is beneficial in increasing self-esteem and productivity at home and at work.
Do activities according to hobbies that make you feel more comfortable physically and mentally, such as yoga, cycling, or practicing running. These activities make you feel calm and able to think positively
Step 2. Only interact with positive people
Limit or avoid interactions with people who bring negative influences so that you feel inferior. Instead, choose people who are positive and make you think positively about yourself.
- Loved ones can act as a support team if they know you're trying to build self-esteem.
- Explain this to a close friend or family member, for example, "I want to get over my feelings of inferiority. Please remind me if I say negative things about myself so I can realize that I'm thinking negatively."
Step 3. Eat a healthy diet
Highly nutritious foods that are low in sugar and fat are beneficial for increasing energy, preventing drastic drops in blood sugar levels, and improving health.
- Don't go on a diet just to keep up with fashion. Choose foods that are minimally processed.
- Don't eat candy, soda, cake, donuts, or pastries. besides being not nutritious and containing a lot of calories, these foods and drinks cause a drastic decrease in energy, headaches, and various diseases.
- Consume fruits, vegetables, lean meats, and legumes as a source of energy for activities throughout and nutrition to maintain a healthy body so that you can continue to work well, spend time with your family, boost your immune system to fight disease, and live to an advanced age. age to enjoy more time with family.
Step 4. Get in the habit of exercising regularly
If you are reluctant to work out at the gym, a leisurely walk is enough to do some physical exercise and maintain your health. Light exercise is beneficial to increase energy, provide a sense of comfort, and boost the immune system.
- Many people feel more refreshed and relaxed after walking outdoors, especially those who spend more time indoors.
- Exercising 10 minutes 1-2 times a day is still beneficial for health.
Step 5. Set aside time to maintain a clean body and appearance
You will feel more comfortable and confident if you want to think about and take the time to keep your body and appearance clean by choosing clothes that match. This method makes you ready to move with full confidence.
Part 4 of 4: Accepting Imperfection
Step 1. Define achievable standards
Like Piccaso's paintings, the painters had different standards of perfection. Perfection is subjective and relative. You may set high standards, but idealistic standards are useless because life doesn't always go according to plan. You will be disappointed if you are not able to become a person according to your ideal self-image.
High standards are not a bad thing because they can motivate you to develop yourself, find better and more efficient ways of working, and achieve success
Step 2. Forgive yourself
Try to prevent the very human habit of blaming yourself and stifling productivity by forgiving yourself when you don't get what you want. Be supportive of yourself by appreciating your successes and strengths so you can accept and respect yourself for who you are.
Tips
- Only interact with people who understand your feelings. People who ignore you don't make you feel confident.
- Tell yourself that you are confident and fun, even if you don't feel like it. Feelings and beliefs are formed from thoughts. So, you will become a confident and fun person if you think so.
- Be assertive. You can get what you need/want by increasing your self-esteem. Do things for your own sake. Remember that you must help yourself before helping others.
- In the mirror in the morning, find the things you admire about yourself: your looks, accomplishments, or accomplishments.
- Don't let magazine publishers and advertisements in various media make you lose confidence through the promotional strategies they use. In general, marketing campaigns seek customers by provoking fear and anxiety. Use self-confidence and understanding of marketing tactics to resist the influence of promotional programs.
- In order to be a positive person, make it a habit to have positive mental dialogue, for example by saying how great you are or how neat you are today.
- Ignore negative comments that other people have directed at you. Learn to listen to yourself and be a confident person. Remember that other people have no right to judge someone who wants to be who they are.
- Start practicing yoga or meditating regularly to calm and control your mind.
