Arguing with a spouse, family member, or coworker can result in many things: gaining information, a useful conversation session, or even being destructive and hurtful. Most people agree that conflict is exhausting. If you want to avoid conflict, there are several things you can do to prevent fights, both now and in the future.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Stopping the Fight
Step 1. Acknowledge the other person's concerns
If he started a fight or responded irrationally to your concerns, say something. For example, "I know this is very important to you," or "I know you don't think my idea is a good one, but my opinion remains the same."
If the fight heats up or escalates quickly, distance yourself. Tell the other person that you need to rest before going back to discussing the related issue
Step 2. Discuss each other's concerns calmly
Speak as steadily as possible. Don't shout or blame each other. Instead of doing so, be brief and specific about your points. It will be easier to respond to specifics than generalizations or general accusations.
While this may be difficult for you, limit conflict to one or two main things you talk about. A fight shouldn't be a moment of confrontation to talk about all the flaws in your relationship or friendship
Step 3. Give the opportunity to speak
This means that you have to actively listen to the other person. Don't listen in order to find flaws in the reason or argument. Instead of doing that, listen to what he's really trying to tell you, whether you want to hear it or not.
Don't force him to speak too fast. Allowing him to get his point across at the pace he wants will make him feel valued and heard
Step 4. Respond to the other person with respect
If you don't agree with what he's saying, validate his thoughts instead of trying to argue with him. You may have to take a few minutes to think before responding. This will keep you from saying anything hurtful. For example, "Ah, I now understand why you are sad".
Compromising will make the other person more likely to respond positively to your concerns
Step 5. Plan your body language
This body language is just as important as avoiding yelling, cursing, or swearing. Use body language that conveys your desire to communicate, such as an open (unfolded) hand and a relaxed posture. Good eye contact is also an important part of communication.
Avoid defensive body language, such as crossed arms, pointing fingers, hands in pockets, or not looking the other person in the eye. All of these things can indicate a reluctance to speak
Step 6. Use humor
Do not be too serious. If you and the other person are receptive enough, make a joke or two. Jokes can defuse tension and show the other person that you're not getting defensive or taking things personally.
However, never use the other person as the subject of your joke. This will only exacerbate the existing conflict
Method 2 of 3: Preventing Conflict
Step 1. Continue listening carefully
Never have an irreversible final opinion. Instead of acting like this, listen carefully to the other person. If he mentions something that's bothering him, take it seriously or respond and apologize.
Actively listening and responding will make it easier for you to communicate with them
Step 2. Avoid feeling like you have to be right all the time
This is the main source of conflict between everyone. Try to let go of wanting to be right every moment. Learn to have conversations with the flow and communicate without thinking about who is "right" or "wrong."
Letting go of the end result can be difficult, but you'll soon find that it helps reduce stress levels. Since you don't have to be right all the time, you can start to enjoy the things in this world and appreciate the other person
Step 3. Spend some alone time if the conflict you are dealing with is a conflict in a relationship
Sometimes, spending too much time with the same person can be stressful. Taking time for yourself can give you a chance to rest, reduce tension, and make you appreciate each other more when you spend time with your partner.
Spending time with friends can also improve your mindset, so you're more positive and fun when you're around other people. Your partner may also need some alone time with friends
Step 4. Put yourself in his shoes
This will increase empathy and awareness of what he is going through. Don't wait for the fight to break out to consider what he's going through. Instead of waiting, try to continue to understand the problems and feelings of pleasure the other person is experiencing. This will make you feel more connected to him and less likely to have conflicts.
Step 5. Plan important discussion sessions
If something is bothering you, plan how you bring it out to the other person. Decide what you will say, how you will say it, and when. Keep your statement short and specific.
Avoid talking about problems when you are emotional or thoughtless. This will increase your chances of responding emotionally to the other person, and may even result in a physical fight
Step 6. Get counseling or mediation services
If you're still struggling with the conflict you're experiencing, seek help. Ask the other person and see if he or she would like to attend a therapy session or a mediation service. If not, consider seeing a therapist alone. While this won't solve all your problems, you may be able to learn how to react and feel better about your situation.
Method 3 of 3: Preventing Conflict at Work
Step 1. Respond to problems before they escalate into fights
If you start having problems with a coworker, immediately fix your relationship with them. Don't wait for the problem to clear up on its own, as you will only make things worse and increase the chances of conflict.
Waiting and holding on to the problem will only make the main issue worse. Unknowingly, you may be magnifying the problem disproportionately making it more difficult to solve
Step 2. Be personal
Live conversations are a great way to talk things over, especially when compared to email or texting. Resolve problems or concerns privately. You are more likely to say something hurtful or argumentative when communicating electronically.
While you may not be able to avoid electronic communication, just make sure you pay attention to your tone and choice of words, as things like body language and attitude can't be used to get your point across
Step 3. Choose your speaking style
A well-known secret is that conflict is often unavoidable in a workplace with many employees. Debates, arguments, and day-to-day disputes can give rise to various issues. You must determine what is important to you and your job. Resolve conflicts before they adversely affect your work and work environment.
Minor problems can be annoying. Learn to ignore these things before they pile up and bother you
Step 4. Complete all differences
Don't let the problem drag on. While you may confront the problem right away when it arises, you also need to be sure that you are satisfied with the solution. Make sure you and your co-workers respect each other and are happy with the resolution of the conflict you are facing.
Remember that you must maintain a professional relationship with the other person. As soon as the issue is resolved, forget it. Don't dwell on past problems, or this will affect your working relationship with them
Step 5. Ask a third party for help
Don't be afraid to contact your HR department for help. Sometimes, a third party can ease tensions and make the conflict you're dealing with lighter.
