Confidence is a really tricky little thing. It's so easy to follow other people's wills to feel good about yourself when things should be in your control. The good news is that you are in control of this self-confidence yourself and are ready to get off the ground. Here he is!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Look Confident
Step 1. Appear according to the situation
Or as the saying goes, “fake it until you succeed”. If you know that you seem like a confident and capable person, then you will start to feel confident too. You should choose clothes that feel best, but not what you think you are confident in. Try these methods:
- Take time each day to maintain personal hygiene and make sure you look good. Shower every day, brush your teeth, and take care of your skin and hair.
- Dress to be confident. You don't have to buy new clothes to feel better about what you're wearing. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and feel good, then you've built confidence. You certainly don't want to wear three layers of clothing while delivering pizza. If you think you're looking good, chances are you're already looking good. Be careful not to overdo your appearance (eg wearing heavy makeup or wearing revealing clothing). Dressing appropriately for the situation will leave you with little to worry about.
Step 2. Improve your posture
What kind of demeanor you are will provide a lot of information to others. So make sure you show others that you are confident and in control of yourself. Set your shoulders straight, back straight, and chin up. Walk with certainty, don't look reluctant, and sit up straight. When you appear confident from the outside, the world will simultaneously approach you.
You are not only tricking others, but also deceiving yourself. Recent research has shown that body position signals the mind to perceive certain states. So positioning your body with confidence will make you feel really in control. Having confident body language is also associated with lower stress levels
Step 3. Smile
Be a smiley person. You would never think that even the tiniest smile could control any situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. Have you ever imagined approaching someone who is frowning? Of course you don't want to.
If you're worried that your smile will look fake, Smile just a little. A fake smile can be seen from a distance. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to meet other people or happy to have the opportunity to practice a new self-confidence skill, put on a big smile that shows off your white teeth
Step 4. Make eye contact
It's a subtle change, but the effect is so great that other people notice you. Don't be afraid to meet other people's eyes. Not only does this show that you are someone important to talk to, but it also shows that you value them, accept their presence, and are interested in the ongoing conversation. You certainly don't want to look rude, do you?
Our eyes are a unique part of the body. Eyes are windows to the soul, and if you want, can show our care and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of interactions with other people to appear more confident. You will become a more agreeable and trustworthy person and those who talk to you will feel more valued. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for them
Step 5. Have approachable body language
If you see someone in the corner of the room pretending to be playing a game on their cell phone, do you want to come over and say hello? Probably not. If you want people to approach you, make sure you are approachable!
Show open body language. If your arms and legs are folded, you are showing those around you that you are not interested in meeting other people. The same goes for the face and hands. If you seem engrossed in something (engrossed in your mind or your iPhone), people will notice
Step 6. Maintain eye contact
Now is the time to practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy as you when making eye contact? Try it this way: make eye contact with someone and see who lasts longer. Did he avert his eyes before you? Look now! They also feel uncomfortable!
You know, wikiHow doesn't advise you to look down on other people. Looking at someone so intently that they feel your gaze and making them shy and awkward is not the goal. The real goal is to know that other people are just as anxious as you are when you look at them. If you get caught looking at someone else, just smile. Then you are out of trouble
Method 2 of 3: Think Confidently
Step 1. Identify and note the talents and good qualities in yourself
No matter how fragile you are, try to be proud of yourself and remember your strengths. Focusing on your strengths will distract from your perceived weaknesses and raise self-esteem. Think about your good qualities in terms of looks, friendships, talents, and most importantly your personality.
- Recall compliments from others. What have they said about you that you didn't notice or know before? Maybe they compliment your smile or your ability to stay calm in stressful situations.
- Remember the achievements you've achieved. It could be something that other people know about, like being first in a class or something that only you know about, such as taking covert actions to make someone else's life easier. Realize how great this act is. You have succeeded!
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Think about the qualities you are trying to develop. Nobody is perfect, but if you are actively trying to be a good and respected person, reward yourself for the effort you put in. The fact that you are thinking about improving yourself shows that you are a humble and kind-hearted person. These are all positive qualities.
Now write down everything that comes to your mind and look back at the note when you feel vulnerable. Add back those notes when you think of other things you can be proud of doing
Step 2. Think about the obstacles that are blocking your confidence
Take a piece of paper and write down all the things that make you feel insecure, such as bad grades, being introverted, not having many friends, and so on. Now ask yourself about this: Is it true or logical? Or is it just my assumption? For information, the answers are “no” and “yes” respectively. In this world, does it make sense for something to define your self-worth? Certainly not!
Here's an example: You didn't do well on your last math test, and as a result, you don't feel confident for the next one. However, ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the exam, would you be able to do better on the exam?! YES. It is just one incident and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely NO reason to feel inferior
Step 3. Remember that everyone struggles with self-confidence issues
There are some people who are good at hiding it, but almost everyone struggles with self-confidence at some point. You are not alone! And if you think of someone who is confident, chances are there are situations where he or she isn't confident. Confidence is a very universal thing.
- Here's a real fact for you: Most people are too busy figuring out how to always judge you. Have you ever noticed how people like to talk about and view almost the same things? Ninety-nine percent of people are busy with their own thoughts. Take it easy and realize that you don't have to be perfect all the time.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Things don't always have to be a competition and living with that view will tire you out. You don't have to be the smartest, most beautiful, or most famous person to be happy. If you have a strong competitive nature that can't be completely ignored, try to compete with yourself and try to keep getting better.
Step 4. View self-confidence as a process, not an extraordinary achievement
Having self-confidence isn't the last thing you should achieve and the process doesn't always move forward. There are times when you feel like you have to start all over again. Take a deep breath, remember the confidence barriers you've overcome and make the determination to move on. In difficult times, encouraging yourself is a good thing even if you don't do anything.
Chances are, you won't realize you're confident until you're ready. Was there a time when you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see a change right away, know that it's because you're so overthinking the little things that you can't see the more important things. You must understand
Step 5. Remember, you were born with confidence
This is not a Maybelline cosmetic ad. When you come out of your mother's womb, you don't care who hears you cry or how soft your head is. You are already. It is society that dictates to you and makes you feel as though you have to reach a certain standard. Confidence is something that is learned. Do you know what they think about the things being studied? According to them, these things cannot be learned.
Take advantage of the confidence you were born with. That confidence has been buried for so long under praise, threats, and judgment. Get rid of everyone who is irrelevant to your life. They are not important. They have nothing to do with you. "You" is good. “You” exists and is separate from the opinions of others
Step 6. Ignore the things that hinder self-confidence
Lack of self-confidence has nothing to do with the outside world, so you need to stop thinking about it. If you notice you're having a dialogue with yourself, stop. The world revolves around you. Spin with the world. The only moment that happens is right now. Don't you want to be a part of the moment?
There's so much going on out there (if we assume that's the way reality is). Thinking constantly about what you feel or see will make you miss the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future. Concentrate on what is in front of you, there may be something nice about it
Method 3 of 3: Cultivating Confidence
Step 1. Share your interests
If there's a sport or hobby you've always wanted to master, now is the time! Improving your abilities will give you the impression that you are a talented person and will then increase your self-confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign language, an artistic field like painting, or start working on various projects, just anything that interests you.
- Don't be discouraged if you're not good at it. Remember, learning is a process. You are in the process to achieve small successes and find time for recreation, not to be your best.
- Take up a hobby that you can do with a group of people. Meeting people who think like you and share similar interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look for groups you can join in your neighborhood or find family connections with friends who share the same hobbies.
Step 2. Talk to strangers
In fact, self-confidence is more than just a mood, it's a habit. That's human. So, in order to be confident, you have to do things that make you confident. One of them is conversing with strangers. It's scary at first, but gradually you will get used to it.
- This action will not disturb other people, unless you are a member of the KKK organization (Ku Klux Klan: an organization in the United States that glorifies the white race over other races) with the face of a stinky and aggressive Quasimodo character. If someone says, “Hi!” and smile at you and ask for your consideration of going to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how do you feel? You may be happy. Everyone likes being a hero, talking to other people, and being spontaneous. You've made someone else's day. You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day.
- Don't you have a chance to talk to strangers? How about talking to the barista at your regular coffee shop? The girl in charge of the cashier at your regular grocery store? or a stranger you meet on the street?
Step 3. Don't apologize too often
Being able to apologize is a good trait (something many people try to overcome). However, be careful to apologize and do so if necessary. It's polite to apologize when you've been negligent or bothered others. Apologizing when you didn't do something wrong can make you feel inferior and you feel like you should be sorry. Before apologizing comes out of your mouth, think about whether a situation really requires an apology from you.
- Use certain tricks. You can express sympathy or regret without actually having to apologize. For example, if you're worried that you've upset someone, you could say "I hope this doesn't cause too much trouble" instead of spontaneously saying "I'm sorry."
- Useless apologies make you seem unsure of yourself. This makes no sense because you are not inferior in anyone's eyes. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? Are you really? If you always apologize, then the meaning of sorry will be lost. Regretting everything means you regret nothing. Think of the statement "I'm sorry" as "I love you". That statement should be said with care.
Step 4. Accept compliments gracefully
Don't just roll your eyes and ignore it. Take the compliment! You deserve it! Make eye contact, smile, and say “thank you”. Being kind when others want to compliment you doesn't sacrifice your humility. It actually shows that you are a polite person and have a sense of security about your self-esteem.
In return, praise the person again. If you're still not comfortable receiving compliments, try returning the compliment after you've been complimented. This will make you "break even" and you will not be too proud
Step 5. Build self-confidence by helping others
Take time to repay other people's compliments or do good deeds in secret. That way, you will make the person happy and you will feel better about yourself. When you are a source of positive energy, other people want to be around you, thereby increasing your good aura.
Many people are not good at receiving compliments. Chances are if you compliment someone they will compliment you back. Make sure you are really praising, otherwise others will doubt it. Sentences like “Hi, I like the shirt you're wearing. Made in China, huh?” may not get the best response
Step 6. Get rid of people who bring you down
It's hard to be confident when you're around a group of people who are constantly judging you. Basically, you are probably the most open, loud, and confident person. But with these people, you turn into an uncaring little dog. Such people need to be abandoned just like any bad habit. And now is the time.
It's important to be around people who can make you feel like you're the best you can be. It is among these people that you will be able to create the maturity you desire (and can!)
Step 7. Do it slowly
Many people don't like crowds. Many also do not like to speak in public. If you're one of those groups, it's important to take it slow. When we are anxious, we tend to want to do something quickly so that everything passes quickly. Do not do it! This attitude is a sign that you are anxious. And you're signaling to yourself that you're anxious!
- The first step is to take a breath. If we breathe short and sharp, we are signaling that we want to fight or run. Stop that action and you will automatically calm down. Fortunately, humans are not difficult creatures.
- The second step is to act slowly and consciously. Think of a six year old child with high blood sugar. That's you. Adjust the action with the breath. Well, now you have calmed down.
Step 8. Expect to succeed
Many life events are predicted and then come true. When we think we are going to fail, we don't really try hard. If we think we are not good enough, then we often act not good enough. If you expect success, then you are likely to get it. In fact, pessimism can undermine your abilities.
Now you may be saying, “I'm not a good fortune teller! Expecting success is not something logical. Well, didn't you just use logic?!” Think of it this way: You often expect failure, so why not expect success? Both are equally possible and one is not more likely than the other. Well, you got a new lesson now
Step 9. Take risks
Sometimes the only way out is to keep going. In order to be able to live life, you must face experiences that encourage you to learn. You can't succeed instantly. If you keep doing what you're already doing, you'll never be better at anything. You have to start taking the opportunity to grow.
Failure is something that is unavoidable. It always happens and is not a problem. The important thing is that you can bounce back. Everyone experiences failure, but not everyone can get back up. The decision to bounce back is a confidence-building thing and you have to fail at the start to do so
Tips
- You have to appear more confident. When walking, focus on your goal. Make sure you sit up straight.
- Speak positively. When you say something negative, immediately replace it with something positive.
- People sometimes say bad things because they are jealous of you! Remember to always smile and enjoy life because life is very short.
- When you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say that you have come this far in life and you will not let anything or anyone bring you down.
- Set goals for yourself, not expectations.
- You are the only person who really knows who you really are. Love yourself and others will imitate you.
- Remember to live each day of life as if it were your last. Who knows if that day will be your last? Who cares about what other people think as long as you are positive and comfortable? Show them who's boss. Enjoying every day of life with a smile on your face is the best way to move forward.
- Stop being a perfectionist. Nothing or someone is perfect. High standards have their place, but your life will be full of difficulties and imperfections. Accept it as a learning experience and move on with your life.
- Be grateful for what you have. For a long time, the source of anxiety and lack of self-confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, it can be emotional acceptance, luck, money, and so on. By knowing and appreciating what you have, you can combat feelings of lack and dissatisfaction. Finding peace in your heart will have a tremendous effect on your self-confidence.
- Every morning when you wake up, say to yourself, “Wow! I feel great today!”
- Make a list of good things about yourself in your mind every day. Express gratitude in your heart for each item on the list.
- Practice the voice in your heart. In situations where you feel less confident, realize that the voice inside you is saying negative things. You need to train your inner voice to be positive in these moments.
- Every time you look in the mirror or see your reflection, praise yourself. Keep doing this until you see the compliment as true about you.
- At first it was strange, even difficult. However, imagine yourself in situations where you have to demonstrate confidence, intelligence, or leadership. By imagining yourself doing these things, self-confidence becomes something that is not too foreign and you start to believe that you can do it.
- Consider taking a leadership class. Learn to control everything. If you are at school, consider occupying a social position such as the president of a society. The ability to lead others and react to the behavior of others under your leadership will help build confidence.
