Everyone, even the most confident, has had moments where they feel nervous, anxious, and doubtful. However, confident people know how to handle such moments and harness the energy of nervousness for personal gain. An aura of self-confidence can attract positive attention and open up many new opportunities. Even if you don't really feel confident, the "pretend to be confident until it works" approach can be of immediate benefit, with the hope that real confidence will follow. While it's impossible to stay confident all the time, you can learn to appear that way if you have to, such as during a job interview, presentation, or social event. The more diligent you practice, the better your body language, social interactions and a confident lifestyle will be.
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Method 1 of 4: Utilizing Confident Body Language
Step 1. Imagine what an insecure person might look like
He may appear to be lowering his head, slouching, trying to shrink as much as possible, and avoiding eye contact. This kind of posture is close to submissive behavior and restlessness. Body language like this confirms and sends the message that you are nervous, submissive and lack self-confidence. Changing your posture and body language can drastically change the impression you make on other people, their attitude towards you, and ultimately your perception of yourself.
If you're not comfortable trying some of these techniques in public, practice in a mirror or film yourself until you feel a little comfortable. You can also train with good friends and get feedback
Step 2. Stand straight with your head up
Set your torso and walk with both shoulders pulled back evenly. Straighten your chin, with your face facing straight ahead. Walk as if you own the world.
Pretend as if you are hanging from a rope overhead. Keep your head from moving restlessly by staring at a virtual dot in front of you. Focus on that point and keep your head still
Step 3. Learn to stand still
Anxious people tend to shift weight from one foot to the other, can't stay still, or clatter their feet. Stand with your feet hip-width apart. Balance body weight on both legs. Balancing or affirming the standing position of both feet will prevent the feeling from moving.
Keep your feet balanced, even when sitting. You'll appear nervous if you cross your legs or gallop
Step 4. Sit comfortably
Resist the urge to lean forward while sitting or tuck your arms into your armpits. Sit as comfortably as possible by taking up all the seats. This is called a pose to assert power. Many studies show that people who sit like this before an interview feel and look more confident. Here are some positions of asserting power that you can try:
- When sitting, lean back. Use chair handles if available.
- Stand with your feet straight at shoulder level and place your hands on your hips.
- Lean against the wall, don't bend over. This will subconsciously make you feel as if you “own” the wall or room you are in.
Step 5. Use touch effectively
If you want to get someone's attention, touch their shoulder. You have to consider the situation and how to have appropriate interaction and physical contact. For example, if you can get the person's attention just by calling out their name, then physical contact may be considered excessive. But if you're in a noisy environment full of people, it's natural for you to lightly touch his shoulder to attract attention.
Remember that the touch should be light. Too strong will give the impression of being too dominant, not calm and confident
Step 6. Keep your hands in a position that gives you confidence
When standing or sitting, keep both hands still. A position that conveys confidence is usually by leaving the face and body exposed, rather than being hidden from view. Here are some suggestions to consider:
- Bring your hands together behind your back or head.
- Put both hands in pockets, but keep thumbs up.
- Bring together and interlock your fingers in front of your chest and place your elbows on the table. This is a very assertive position and should be used during negotiations, interviews and meetings.
Step 7. Use hand signals carefully
Emphasizing each word with hand signals can appear restless or energetic, depending on the local culture. Move your hands occasionally and in control. Keep your arms at waist level and perform hand signals from this space. You will appear more credible.
- Keep your palms open and relaxed for social context. Stiff or gripping hands are very aggressive and dominant. Usually used by politicians.
- Keep both elbows at your sides. Do a little hand gesture to the outside, so that the body remains open and not blocked by hands.
Method 2 of 4: Confident Social Interaction
Step 1. Make eye contact
Maintaining eye contact during speaking and while the person you are dealing with is speaking in turn is a sign of confidence and interest. Never disconnect it by checking your phone, staring at the floor, or looking around the room, as this will make you seem cheeky, nervous, or even uncomfortable. Try to keep eye contact for at least half of your interaction.
For starters, try to make and maintain eye contact with someone long enough until you can define the person's eye color
Step 2. Firmly shake hands
A firm handshake can instantly make you appear confident and reassuring. Extend your hand and offer to shake the other person as you walk up to them. Hold her hand tightly, but don't hurt her. Move and bring the hand slightly up and down for one to two seconds, then release.
- If your hands tend to sweat, keep a tissue in your pocket. Clean hands before shaking.
- Never give a limp or "dead fish" hand when shaking someone's hand as this will make you appear weak.
Step 3. Speak slowly and clearly
If you often speak quickly and pile up words trying to catch up on what you're trying to convey, slow down. Pausing your speech a second or two before speaking will give you time to plan your response, making you appear relaxed and confident.
When you speak slowly and steadily, your voice will also sound deeper. This will make you appear confident and in control of the situation
Step 4. Smile often
Smiling can instantly make you appear warm, friendly and approachable. Various studies show that people like and tend to remember people who smile. If you're having a hard time giving a natural smile, just give it a small smile and then return to your normal expression.
Laughter is another great way of displaying and encouraging self-confidence, when the situation is appropriate and appropriate. Avoid giggling all the time, as it will sound nervous or pushy
Step 5. Stop apologizing
If you keep apologizing, even for small things, stop immediately. You must learn to feel and act more confidently. Tell close friends that you are working on this. After apologizing to one of them for no reason, say to yourself, "Wait, no, I don't need to apologize!" If you can joke with them about this, it will definitely lessen your anxiety about accidentally insulting someone.
On the other hand, accept compliments graciously. When someone compliments you, smile and say "Thank you." Don't answer in a condescending manner or belittle your accomplishments (e.g. "Oh, that's okay.")
Step 6. Treat others with respect
Treating others with respect shows that you value them as individuals, don't feel threatened by their presence, and you feel confident in yourself. Instead of gossiping about someone, avoid creating or engaging in unnecessary drama. It shows that you are comfortable with yourself.
When you respect others, they too will respond in a similar manner and even be inspired. With this attitude people will also stop dragging you into dramatic situations or tensions knowing that you don't want to be involved
Step 7. Practice these new social skills
Go to parties or social gatherings to practice some of the above techniques. Remember that you don't have to approach and try to be friends with everyone there. Being able to chat with just one person all night, that's already a big win. If you don't feel comfortable going to a party like this and prefer to practice at home, ask a friend for help.
For example, you might be able to ask your friend to act as a spectator or interviewer if you are preparing to give a presentation or interview. If you feel comfortable like this, invite the friend to be present at the presentation. This can help focus your attention on that friend, rather than on other people in the room
Method 3 of 4: Developing a Confident Lifestyle
Step 1. Look and feel like the best
Taking care of yourself is very important for your health. Cleanliness, appearance and health are all worth doing, especially if you're trying to impress during a job interview or date. Appearances and first impressions have a very strong impact. A smart appearance gives you great opportunities, and other people will also be more receptive to you. At first glance you look good and full of confidence.
- Take time each day to maintain cleanliness. Shower, brush your teeth, and apply deodorant as often as possible.
- Wear clothes that you believe make you look and feel good and/or capable. Confidence will be boosted when wearing clothes that make you comfortable and relaxed.
Step 2. Appreciate yourself for who you are
While acting and being confident will make you appear confident, it's also important to find value in yourself as an individual. This is what will give you real confidence. That you are special, talented, and many want to see you happy. If you're really trying to do this, make a list of your accomplishments. Don't be afraid to congratulate yourself.
Be honest with yourself and others. When people see that you are capable of believing in yourself and taking responsibility for your personal actions, they will like you even more. They will also trust and believe in you
Step 3. Learn to manage your fear
People who lack self-confidence are often afraid of making mistakes, or appearing unrighteous in the eyes of the environment. When anxiety comes to your mind, take a deep breath and say to yourself, "I can do it. My fear is irrational." Admit mistakes or failures made, but don't wallow in them.
Once you've built up your confidence, try to access things that normally make you very nervous. For many, this involves asking questions in a large group, or admitting that you don't know something
Step 4. Create a confident mentality
If you lack self-confidence, you are more likely to focus on the negative things that make up your life. Don't see mistakes as failures. Look at it as a lesson material that builds character and self-confidence. Remember that every mistake is an opportunity to be better.
Remind yourself of past successes. Everyone, no matter how confident or great they look, must have made mistakes. What is important is how to face this reality
Step 5. Start journaling
This is useful for reducing stress by spilling it onto paper (rather than letting it gnaw at the mind). After all, the act of writing allows you to see problems from a different perspective. To get started with journaling, try writing a list like, "Things I'm Proud of to Remember When I'm Grieving." (It's easy to do when you're in a good mood.) This always works, but it's usually forgotten when you're sad, anxious, or lacking in self-confidence. Keeping and keeping a list of this kind can help remind you of the things that make you feel confident.
For example, you could include things like, “I'm proud to play the guitar,” “I'm proud to be rock climbing,” “I'm proud to be able to make friends laugh when they're sad.”
Step 6. Ask self-confidence-building questions
The biggest source of feeling confident has to come from yourself. When you're feeling insecure, ask yourself: What do I have that other people don't have? What makes me a useful contributor to society? What are my challenges and how can I get better? What will give yourself a sense of worth? Remind yourself that having to be perfect all the time is simply not realistic.
If you're feeling nervous ahead of an interview, for example, set aside five minutes before the interview to try some stress management and confidence-building techniques. Remind yourself that you are ready and will be interviewed for some reason. Extend your arms up, then to the sides, then hold them at the waist. Shake your body slightly to relax yourself, then take a deep breath. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are capable of the interview
Method 4 of 4: Facing Fear
Step 1. Understand that fear affects your self-confidence
Sometimes people can be too self-conscious and worried about making mistakes and being thought of as unreasonable in the eyes of others. Everyone feels scared and nervous at some point, and this is normal. But if your fear is to such an extent that it affects your daily activities and interactions, it may be time to confront and overcome that fear.
Step 2. Check the condition of the body
What is your body saying? Is the heart beating hard? Sweating? These are all autonomic or involuntary bodily responses and are meant to get us ready for action (a kind of fight or flight instinct). Unfortunately, this body sensation more often makes us afraid and anxious. So, what does your own body say?
Ask yourself, “Why is this situation making me nervous and anxious?” Maybe you're worried about sitting in the wrong chair at dinner or afraid of being wrong and embarrassed
Step 3. Evaluate what you are afraid of
Decide if the feeling of fear is helping or preventing you from doing something or living your life. Some of the questions you can ask are:
- What event am I afraid of?
- Am I sure it will happen? How sure?
- Has it happened before? What was the result in the past event?
- What's the worst that could happen?
- What's the best that could happen? (which you will miss if you don't want to try)?
- Will this moment affect my entire life?
- Am I being realistic about all my hopes and beliefs?
- If my friend were in this position, what advice would I give her?
Step 4. Learn to overcome fear with deep breathing
Taking a few deep breaths can have a powerful effect and help control anxiety. Inhaling and taking deep breaths will slow down your heart rate. If you can, try placing your hand on your stomach and taking deep breaths. Then try to move only your hands on your stomach, not your chest.
It's called, "Diaphragmatic Breathing." This kind of breathing can help you relax and reduce anxiety
Step 5. Practice meditation and mindfulness
Often we feel nervous and restless when we feel out of control. If you're about to enter a disturbing situation, set aside a few minutes beforehand to meditate or write in a journal. That way your mind will be calmer when you start.
If you have thoughts that keep on bothering you and make you nervous, you may feel like you're out of control. Meditation and mindfulness make you acknowledge those stubborn thoughts and let them go
Step 6. Write down what you are afraid of
Write down any thoughts that cause fear or anxiety. Ask yourself questions to evaluate where it's coming from. This will enable you to track your fearful thoughts and feelings, identify patterns, see your fears from a different perspective, and help you get them out of your mind.
Even if you can't do it right now, write about it later. The point is that you are able to trace the source of that fear
Tips
- Don't stop practicing. The more often you do, the more proficient you are.
- Do something more embarrassing than what is customary and should be done. The more you get used to being embarrassed, the more immune you will become to that feeling.
