Siblings can be great friends for life, but it's undeniable that there will be times when you and your brother/sister have different opinions. It is important that you resolve the issue with your sister in a calm and rational manner. If you respond to his actions in the same manner, it will only exacerbate the problem. Learning how to stop your sibling from constantly harassing you can help bring you and your sibling closer together and can build a stronger sibling relationship.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Reducing Tension with Little Brother
Step 1. Ignore your sister instead of responding to her
If your sister is unruly, you may need to ignore her for a while. This strategy cannot be said to be effective for long-term fraternal relationships. However, if you don't want to explode in anger, the best response is to ignore it.
- Not giving feedback does not mean weakness. Instead, you need more strength and determination not to take your anger out on your sibling or lower yourself to follow their behavior.
- Choose which fights need to be addressed. You can't keep your sibling around every time she upsets you, especially if she refuses to talk to you.
- If you don't give him the response he wants (getting angry or resentful), he will eventually tire of himself and eventually give up.
Step 2. Remain calm if you decide to respond
If your sibling starts acting up, you may be tempted to scold her or respond to her actions with behavior that is also annoying. However, such a reaction would only make things worse. Whenever you are prompted to respond with harsh words or annoying behavior, remember that being calm and controlled will be more effective at stopping your sibling's irritating behavior than getting angry.
- Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Focus on your breathing pattern to calm yourself down quickly.
- Try counting to 10 before responding to your sister's behavior. Take a deep breath and exhale as you count to 10 while thinking of ways to express yourself calmly and rationally.
- Go for a short walk or leave the room for a few minutes if you need more than 10 seconds to cool off. Tell your sister that you will be back soon, and think about what you want to say and how best to say it.
Step 3. Compromise with your sister
Whenever you can negotiate a peaceful settlement with your sister, you should try it. Sometimes you have to resort to compromise to handle some aspect of the situation, or even put your sister's needs before your own for a while. However, this will ultimately help cool the situation and help prevent future conflicts.
- Ask your sister what she wants to talk to you about.
- Give your sister a chance to feel heard and valued, and try to repeat her words. Say something like, “I think I understand why you're behaving this way. You said you felt _ if I _, and that caused trouble."
- Try to reach a solution that benefits both parties. Ask your sibling for input, give your own, and try to compromise.
- Know that no one always gets what they want all the time. The goal is to come to a solution that satisfies both parties, even if it's not the solution you were hoping for.
Step 4. Give positive attention to younger siblings
Generally, annoying behavior is triggered by boredom. Maybe your sister is bored, or not getting enough attention. Instead of giving him negative attention by fighting or retaliating with behavior that's also annoying, try doing something fun and productive together.
- Doing fun activities together will quickly distract your sibling from his irritating behavior, and these shared activities can help strengthen the relationship between you and your sibling.
- Try walking or cycling together (if you're too young, make sure to ask your parents for permission first), or do activities at home like watching movies, putting together puzzles, or playing video games together (though these activities can cause more stress). lots of fights).
Step 5. Try not to take insults/annoyance seriously
It can be difficult not to feel insulted or irritated by rude/annoying behavior. However, in the end you and your sister are still brothers, and she actually cares about you. Tell your sister frankly that she's upsetting you and try to find a resolution, but don't feel hurt.
- Know that your sister probably didn't really mean to hurt your feelings. Some people (especially those who are young) do not understand that their actions are wrong.
- Your sister may have forgotten her irritating or hurtful words/deeds within an hour. So don't waste time holding grudges.
- Remember, if you get annoyed with your sibling's annoying behavior, it's giving him power. If he sees his behavior pissing you off, he will continue to do so.
Part 2 of 4: Dealing with Envy
Step 1. Recognize that envy can lead to irritating behavior
If your sister is jealous of some aspect of your life, she may be acting on purpose as a way to express her frustration. If you think this is the source of the problem, you may want to try to communicate directly and honestly with your sister that her jealousy is hurting your feelings and causing a wedge in your relationship.
- Think about your situation and times when your sister took her anger out on you with her annoying behavior. Could he be jealous of your achievements in school, your things, or your lifestyle?
- Your sister's behavior may be driven by an urge to channel her frustration.
- If your sibling is jealous that your busy schedule is reducing the time you usually spend with him, the best way to calm his feelings is to spend more time with him. However, it's important to set your own boundaries, and tell your sister to respect them.
Step 2. Find ways to make your sister happy
Your sister's jealousy may have something to do with the lack of attention she gets. If you make him feel better by finding things he can feel comfortable with, he'll probably get over his jealousy.
- Even if you can't give him something like yours and make him feel jealous, you can help him find something that will bring him happiness. This step can help suppress his irritating behavior, at least temporarily.
- Reward your sister for the skills she has. If he's jealous that you made it on the soccer team, remind him how skilled he is at other activities, or talk about how good he was at school.
Step 3. Motivate your sibling to achieve the same kind of achievement you did
If his irritating behavior is fueled by jealousy, one way to work around the problem is to help him get what you've worked for (or something similar). Of course this doesn't always work, but in certain situations it can ease the jealousy he feels. Plus, if your sister sees you trying to help her, she'll probably learn not to hate you so much.
- If your sister is jealous of your grades at school, help her study.
- If he's jealous that you're doing better at your sport, take the time to practice catching the ball or do exercises with him to improve his skills.
- If he's jealous that you have a girlfriend and he doesn't, offer to help him ask a girl out (if he's old enough to date).
- Whatever makes your sister jealous, you have to show her that she can achieve more than what she currently has. If you offer to help him get what he wants, he may be more open to changing his current situation.
Part 3 of 4: Engaging Parents
Step 1. Identify behaviors that require parental involvement
As you and your sibling grew up together, you may have had a hand in some of the fights. However, sometimes fighting crosses the line and becomes hostile or even intimidating behavior. In such cases, it is best to involve the parents to mediate and take the necessary action.
- Annoying siblings can be considered normal. However, if your sibling continues to torment you on the same topic over and over again for days or weeks, this could be considered bullying behavior.
- If your sibling doesn't apologize or try to make amends after an argument, or continues to show hostility to you all the time, it could be a sign of bullying.
- Having advantages, such as bigger/older/popular, can instantly turn sibling rivalry into a bullying situation.
- If you feel that your brother/sister has been proven to be bullying, talk to your parents immediately.
Step 2. Ask parents to mediate in the conversation
If you think the situation is getting out of hand and you can't come to an agreement, it may be time to ask one or both parents to mediate in the conversation. This step will give you and your siblings the opportunity to express conflicting thoughts and feelings in a safe and supportive environment. Parents can also help reconcile if there is a conflict, and have the right to give instructions on what to do next.
- Ask parents to mediate in the conversation. If you think the situation is getting out of hand and you can't come to an agreement, it may be time to ask one or both of your parents to mediate in the conversation. This step will give you and your siblings the opportunity to express conflicting thoughts and feelings in a safe and supportive environment. Parents can also help reconcile if there is a conflict, and have the right to give instructions on what to do next.
- Encourage parents to try to find solutions that will make everyone happy. Ideally, the discussion can reach a situation that is beneficial for both parties.
- If your efforts do not succeed in reaching a compromise with your sibling / sibling, the parents' decision in this case must be able to resolve the conflict.
Step 3. Encourage parents to enforce the rules
If your parents have silenced your sibling's aggressive, annoying, or problematic behavior, you may want to make them aware. Ask your parents to be fair and apply the same rules to both of you, and enforce the rules so that peace can be maintained.
- Parents may not be aware of the situation, or may not be aware of its seriousness.
- It's easy for parents to get caught up in work and family distractions. Try to bring the problem that occurs to your parents if you can't solve it yourself.
Step 4. Try to create a family activity that includes everyone
This step may not stop your sibling's irritating behavior right away, but it can help strengthen the brotherly relationship between the two of you. Apart from that, this step also gives you a good opportunity to escape for a moment from the tension that has built up between the two of you at home.
- Sometimes, going outside and doing positive activities together can help strengthen the bond with your sibling.
- At least, traveling with the family can distract your sister from her problematic behavior.
- You can use time with your family to find things that make everyone happy, and can apply these elements to your daily life.
Part 4 of 4: Setting Boundaries between You and Brother/Sister
Step 1. Spend more time apart
Whether you're the older sibling or the younger sibling, you may find it frustrating to have to spend so much time with your sibling/sibling when exhibiting irritating behavior. If your parents ask you to watch over your sibling or take them out when you're out of the house, talk to them so you can spend time alone or with your friends without your sibling.
- A growing sense of independence and individuality is one of the biggest reasons sibling fights end when they spend time together.
- Let your parents know that you value time with your family, but that you really need more time for yourself or with friends.
- Remind your parents that you and your sibling can still be close even if you spend time alone. It will actually make the time you spend with him more quality.
Step 2. Don't be your sibling's nanny
Depending on the age and living conditions of your family, your parents may often ask you to watch over your younger sibling. If that's the case, it can be difficult to have some privacy and time to yourself. Talk to parents to find alternatives or make compromises.
- Give advice on hiring a babysitter. If your parents object to the idea, you can at least ask for extra pocket money or compensation for the task of supervising your younger sibling.
- You might suggest continuing to babysit once or twice a week if you can spend weekends on your own, without your sibling.
- It would be best if you had this conversation without your sister present as she might be offended or raise objections. Younger children often have difficulty understanding why older children have greater responsibility and freedom.
Step 3. Ask for privacy if friends visit
If your friend or boyfriend comes to visit, it's important to set boundaries with your sibling. A guest who comes to see you shouldn't have to go along with your sister's annoying behavior, especially if she makes your friend the target of her pranks.
- Tell your sister to stop. If he doesn't care, try asking your parents for help.
- Try inviting a friend to come over when your sister isn't home or busy with her own friends.
- If your sibling won't quit and your parents won't step in, locking the door may be the only way to claim your right to privacy when friends visit.
- Ask parents for permission before installing the lock so they don't get angry or suspicious.
Step 4. Ask parents for their own room
Sharing a room may be an experience that will strengthen the bond between you and your sibling as long as the two of you get along well enough. If not or you need your own space, ask your parents to rearrange the house to accommodate your needs. There may be extra space that is currently being used for a craft room or workspace, for example, that could be converted into a bedroom.
- Having your own room may not be an option, depending on the conditions in which you live. Limited space may make it difficult for you and your sister to have their own room.
- If your residence has limited space, you might be able to rearrange the room so that it allows you to have your own privacy. Talk to your parents about turning your workspace into a bedroom, or perhaps a shed or attic.
- When talking to parents and making your request, raise privacy concerns. It's easier for parents to make arrangements when it comes to privacy than just being a solution to breaking up short-term arguments.
- You might say something like, "Dad, mom, I know we don't have too much extra space, but I'm getting older and I really want us to try to figure out how I can have my own room so I have more privacy."
- If your parents are planning to move house, let them know that you really want to have your own room and would love to have them take that into account when choosing a new home.
Tips
- Keep your sister busy so she doesn't bother you.
- Don't argue. He really wants to provoke a fight with you, so why should you serve him? If you're having trouble controlling your anger, take a deep breath and politely tell him that you want to be alone for a while.
- Try doing an activity that he enjoys and when you're done tell him that you want to be alone for a while. Hopefully he's willing to leave you alone.
- Try to be friendly to your sister. Remind him that one day you will be the only family he has.
- Try to politely tell your sister that she doesn't like it when other people do what she does to you. It was possible that he did not realize that his behavior was so disturbing.
- Be a good older brother and show your younger sibling how to behave properly. Don't lecture him, but be a role model by setting a good example.
- If all your efforts are deadlocked, just ignore him. Over time he will get bored and stop bothering you.
- Persuade your sibling to share a common interest in the things you enjoy. Your relationship will be even closer.
- Show that you support him. If he's taking part in a big event, come and cheer him on!
Warning
- Never use harsh language as it will cause problems with your parents.
- If your sister starts a fight, tell her to stop it, then meet the parents. Fighting back will only lead to more hatred and anger.
- Never yell at your sister or hit her.
- Don't get into bad behavior. If your sister tries to insult you, tell her parents or leave her.
