Charm is the art of having an attractive personality. Some people mesmerize others the moment they enter a room, while others acquire a reputation for being charming over a period of time. Because people are born with different natural charms, some charms can be acquired and cultivated with practice. Continue reading this article to learn how to use your attitude and body language to be charming.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Have a Charming Attitude
Step 1. Really feel attracted to the other person
You don't have to love everyone, but you should feel curious or attracted to people in some way. A dazzling person when he walks into a room is ready to have a conversation with someone else; they didn't stand facing the wall waiting for the moment they could escape. What attracted you to other people? If you have empathy, you may be attracted to other people's feelings. Maybe you'll be interested in what makes people make a mark, or what knowledge they have. Use your interests as a basis for getting to know people better.
- Learn how to ask questions based on your interests while remaining polite and others will find them interesting.
- Follow up with more questions to continue to show your interest; the person you are talking to should never feel that you are trying to keep the conversation short.
Step 2. Remember the other person's name from the first time you met
This will take a lot of effort for some people, but it's worth it if you want to be a charmer. When you introduce yourself, repeating the person's name will help you remember them. For example: "Hi Winda, my name is Jaka." Continue with small talk and say the person's name throughout the conversation. Repeat once more when you say goodbye.
- Repeating a person's name isn't just about helping you to remember the person. The more you mention someone's name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the more likely they will be warm to you.
- If someone comes while you're having a conversation, introduce the two people by name.
Step 3. Assume a good relationship
This means talking to a stranger or a new acquaintance in a very friendly way, like that person is an old friend or a lost relative. This helps remove the awkwardness at the start of the meeting and speeds up the warm-up process when meeting new people. Soon, people will feel welcome and comfortable around you.
Kindness coupled with respect, makes others feel they are loved and cared for. This is a powerful thing during interactions with other people
Step 4. Talk about things that interest the person you're with
If you're in a crowd of people who love sports, talk about last night's game or about the rise of a new sports team. If you're with a group of people who have hobbies, ask about their hobbies and make comments related to fishing, knitting, hiking, movies, and so on.
- Nobody expects you to be an expert. Sometimes, you can make a rapport just by asking, and don't care if you seem naive. There are people who like to talk and explain about their interests, and would love to have you listen. It's the level of interest and willingness to follow the topic that makes you an interesting person to be around.
- Try to be open-minded. Let someone else explain. If someone mistakenly thinks that you know more about the subject, be honest and say you have limited knowledge but you wished to learn more about it.
Step 5. Share information about yourself
Not talking about yourself will make you look unfriendly. Sharing as much information about yourself as you have questions with others is a way to build trust in others. They'll feel special because you want to talk about your life with them, and before you know it, you've made a new friend.
Method 2 of 3: Displaying Physical Charms
Step 1. Make eye contact
Looking directly into other people's eyes gives you a certain hold on them. It displays your confidence and will make the people you're talking to feel they're attractive enough to look at. Keep making eye contact throughout the conversation. No matter what you talk about, looking people in the eye will make you even more charming.
Step 2. Smile with your eyes
Scientists have identified more than 50 types of smiles, and research shows that the most genuine smile is the Duchenne smile – a smile that rises to the eye. the reason smiles are more genuine is because the muscles needed to smile with the eyes don't react spontaneously; the muscle only moves in a genuine smile, not in a fake smile. and also, if you look at other people and smile, it will immediately fascinate them.
Step 3. Give a firm handshake
Shaking someone's hand the first time you meet them is a polite way to show that person that they are the person you want to talk to. Use a firm grip, but don't hold it too tightly – you don't want to hurt other people's hands. After a good handshake, release the person's hand from your grasp.
In areas where shaking hands is not common, use other physical gestures to show that you are interested in talking to people. A kiss on the cheek, a bow, or some other physical gesture will get the conversation off to a good start
Step 4. Use charming body language
Face the person you're talking to so you don't seem anxious to walk away after the conversation is over. During the conversation, maybe you can do a light touch to keep the conversation going. You can touch someone's shoulder to emphasize something, for example. At the end of the conversation, decide which is more appropriate, whether to give a quick hug or another handshake.
Step 5. Control the intonation of your voice
Your voice should be soft and peaceful, but direct. Speak clearly and project your voice. Practice putting praise into a tape recorder and playing it back. Does your voice sound sincere?
Method 3 of 3: Amaze People With Words
Step 1. Create impressive wording
Be mature and use a touch of wisdom, namely polite language. Do you find people who say "Hello" more polite than people who say "'What's up"? another example: Change "none of his business!" to "shouldn't be any of his business." Of course, don't overdo it, but try to be more polite and turn the negative into a positive.
Step 2. Give compliments generously
Compliments increase the other person's confidence and make them feel affection for you. If you like someone, find a creative way to say it and say it right away. If you wait too long, it may come across as insincere and at the wrong time, especially if the other person has said it before you.
- If you know that someone is putting a lot of effort into something, praise them, even if you feel there is still room for improvement.
- If you know that someone has changed their appearance (haircut, clothes, etc.), let them know and say something you like about it. If you're asking directly, be charming and dodge the question by giving a generic compliment.
Step 3. Accept compliments graciously
Get out of the habit of assuming that a compliment is given without genuine intent. Even when someone gave praise out of contempt, there was always a hidden envy in their heart. Be open to receiving compliments.
- Say more than just "Thank you" and say "I'm glad you liked it," or "You're so kind to know that." This is a great example of a compliment.
- Avoid denying praise. There's nothing worse than someone giving a compliment and then receiving an "Oh, I wish I _ you in that situation." This is as if saying "No, I'm not what you say; your judgment is wrong."
Step 4. Praise others instead of gossiping
If you're talking to someone or talking to a group of people, and the conversation comes out about that person in a positive or negative way, be the one to "say something you like about that person." Being kind is a powerful tool for gaining charm because it is always seen as 100% genuine. It has added advantage of making trust in you. Word will spread that you never say anything bad about anyone. Everyone will know that their reputation is safe with you.
Step 5. Be a good listener
Charm is not always the expression that is issued, but what is inside as well. Get people to talk about themselves, about something they like, something they are interested in, about themselves. This will make the other person feel more comfortable sharing and expressing themselves with you.
Tips
- Smile to the people you meet
- Don't shy away from eye contact. Look into their eyes when you talk to them.
- When you greet someone, make them feel that they are the most important person to you. They will respond better and always know that you are a good person.
- Put some humor in your words, most people like someone who can make them laugh.
- Always be yourself. If people like your fake self, then you will spread lies, and when it gets caught, all you have is people who are angry and resentful of you.
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Improve your posture. Keep your shoulders straight and relax. As you walk, imagine you are crossing the finish line; The first part to cross should be your body, not your head. If you have poor posture, your head will be pushed forward, which can make you appear shy and insecure. (If you are a woman, push your breasts forward. Sounds weird, but it helps to learn to get the right posture)
If insisting on good posture doesn't look good, strengthen your muscles. This includes the upper back, shoulders, and chest. Your neck will be in place and your posture will be naturally perfect
- Be a nice and friendly person; not noisy and rude.
- Empathy is the essence of charm. If you don't know what makes people happy or unhappy, you have no way of knowing whether you're saying the right thing or the wrong thing.
- The level of charm you have depends on your creativity in giving compliments. Say something indirectly and say it in a poetic way. It's great to have a few lines of compliments thought out, but the most charming people can make them spontaneously. This way, you can be sure that you never repeat the sentence. If you can't think of anything to say, talk about an interesting recent event.
- Swearing is something to be avoided; it alienates a lot of people, and makes you an uncharacteristic person.
- Don't put yourself higher than others. For example, if someone drops a book near you, pick it up and give it to them saying "Looks like you dropped this". You will come across as caring and willing to help.
Warning
- Don't confuse charm with being a person who pleases others.
- Sometimes you have no choice but to state an opinion that other people don't usually say. That's okay. Consider saying it with humor. Humor is something that can melt an awkward atmosphere.
