Talking about sexuality issues is not easy, especially for children, teenagers, or young adults who are still overcome by shame or awkwardness. But in fact, having a correct and healthy understanding of sexuality is very important in the process of growing up. Fortunately, there are a number of strategies you can apply to combat the embarrassment or awkwardness of receiving sexual education, and to treat sexual education as valuable and enjoyable knowledge.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Understanding the Functions of Sexual Education
Step 1. Realize that you are not the only one who feels this way
Embarrassment and awkwardness are common responses from those trying to understand sexuality. Sometimes, people pretend to be shy to hide their curiosity, mainly because they don't want to be seen as interested in sexuality issues. Understand that there is nothing wrong with feeling that way!
- In many cultures (one of them is Indonesia), sexuality is categorized as a private issue that is taboo to be discussed. But don't let these limitations keep you from asking the things that are important to know.
- Health professionals and educators usually know how to turn a sensitive issue into an interesting issue for discussion. In sexual education classes, the topics presented are always adjusted to the age of the class being taught. Gradually, heavier topics will be presented in the following years.
Step 2. Know what topics are covered in sexual education materials
Sexual education is not just about sexual relations between men and women. Sexual education also learns how the male and female bodies work, and how to properly care for your body.
- So far, sexual education materials have been included in the 2013 learning curriculum in Indonesia, specifically in reproductive health education materials. In America itself, sexual education materials are arranged in the curriculum and delivered through special classes. The classes cover topics such as puberty, anatomy, health, self-esteem, and social issues such as peer pressure and dating violence.
- A comprehensive sexual education curriculum will answer questions such as how to manage the menstrual cycle (for women), how to deal with the fact that you are gay, how to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and infections, how to respond to vulgar messages, how to address your condition as one. the only virgin (or non-virgin) in your group of friends, how to deal with a manipulative or possessive boyfriend, and so on.
- You may feel that some topics are irrelevant to you. For example, you may have gone through puberty without any problems and committed to maintaining your virginity until marriage. If that's the case, you may feel like you're wasting your time in class. Wait a minute! Who knows your class will cover another topic that you, without even realizing it, you still need to learn.
Step 3. Receive sexual education and start learning about sexuality
Regardless of your opinion on controversial issues such as reproduction, homosexuality and heterosexuality, sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancy, you are still a sexual being. It is very important that you learn this as part of the process of growing up as a healthy individual.
- Even if you identify yourself as an asexual being (having no interest in sex), you still can't close yourself off from the sexual acts that other people do to you. Therefore, you still have to learn how to respond appropriately in a world where sexuality is important.
- In high school, health-related material is known as easy material as long as you are diligent in taking quizzes, working on projects, and completing assignments. In general, these materials are considered less challenging when compared to mainstream subjects such as mathematics, science, history, language, or literature.
- Studying sexuality can be fun too, you know!
Part 2 of 3: Getting Information
Step 1. Wait until you are ready
To learn the details regarding sexuality, you can always wait until your curiosity and readiness is aroused.
You can say, "I don't think I'm ready to accept that information," when it comes to sexual education. Remember, there will be many things that you need to absorb and process. Waiting until you are really ready will only show your maturity
Step 2. Discuss sexual issues with your parents
Although you will definitely feel very awkward, but rest assured that your parents are people who love you, accept you as you are, and are always willing to help you. Sit down with them and ask them various issues about your sexuality, your body, or your relationship with the opposite sex – whatever it is you're curious about.
- Don't stop the discussion there. Talking about sexuality should be an ongoing conversation.
- Take the opportunity to ask questions naturally. Discussions about sexuality need not be forced. It will be easier if you open the topic of discussion based on what you watched in movies or news with them. For example, when you see a movie where the main character is a homosexual, try asking, “What is homosexual, Mom?”.
- Be aware that they may have anticipated such a question and already planned an appropriate response. However, your question can still surprise them that it will take them longer to give an accurate but not overwhelming response. Understand that they can also feel shy or awkward!
Step 3. Ask a trusted adult of the same gender as you
Maybe your mom isn't the right person to talk to about condoms. There may be times when you need to ask other trusted relatives, such as an older brother, aunt, cousin, or friend of your parents. Just make sure the person is mature enough and suitable to talk to.
- Keep the conversation casual. Talking about sexuality doesn't have to be a big deal. Just say, “I have something to ask you, Auntie have time this weekend?” If you give your reasons beforehand (for example, because you heard your friend say – or saw – something on the internet), they will also have a clearer understanding so that able to explain more thoroughly.
- Just like your parents, sometimes other parents are also reluctant to discuss these kinds of topics with their children or teens, mainly because they are afraid of giving the wrong information or giving information prematurely. If they feel embarrassed or surprised by your question, give them time to think of an appropriate response and not have to worry about it.
Step 4. Browse online pages
As long as you are good at sorting the pages you open, the internet is a great place to search for various topics that you want to study.
- Be careful about entering keywords related to anatomy or sexuality. You may be faced with search results that are too vulgar and don't get the information you need. Instead, go to a trusted page like Wikipedia, WebMD, or the American Sexual Health Association and enter keywords related to the topic you want to study there. For example, Wikipedia will show pictures of the human body (both male and female) and explain confusing terms.
- Make sure your parents know what you're searching for. Remember, you must always be honest and open with them; Tell me what you want to know and why you want to know. You need to do this so you don't feel embarrassed or get in trouble afterwards.
Step 5. Read the information explained in class
Sexual education is available (though sometimes not mandatory) in many schools. Having an expert available to answer your questions is helpful, especially if you are surrounded by teenagers your age and not being watched by your parents.
If you don't receive sex education classes, ask your nurse or school counselor to provide you with the information you need. For young adults, sometimes the school nurse can help answer certain questions one-on-one
Step 6. Ask the doctor
They are experts who have been trained and are obliged to protect your privacy. There's no need to feel ashamed, after all, dealing with the human body is their job. Trust me, none of your statements or questions will surprise them.
You can prepare questions in advance before having regular appointments, or make a special appointment with your doctor if you need answers ASAP. Type or write anything you want to ask. If you're too embarrassed to ask yourself, give the nurse the list of questions and ask them to help you pass it to the doctor. This way, the doctor can prepare answers to your questions in advance before seeing you
Step 7. Recognize that sexual education is a never-ending learning process
Realize that sexual education is a long process of gathering new information about relationships, intimacy, and the human body. Over time, you will also learn more about how to become a healthier and more confident person. In addition, your need for information will also continue to grow
As a teenager, you may have questions about how to deal with puberty. You may also have problems with your sexual identity. As an adult, you may find it difficult to get pregnant, and so on. You will never know everything, no matter how old you are. So it's a good idea to start learning from now on
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Shame and Information Overload
Step 1. Pretend you're not shy until it goes away on its own
Sometimes, embarrassment is inevitable, so the only thing you can do is pretend you're not. With proper time and practice, pretending can also be transformed into a real habit, you know!
- You can also use humor to overcome shyness and lighten the mood. This is a common strategy for teens who are just learning about sexuality; they can even giggle just when they hear the word “penis”! In fact, laughter is a natural human instinct to distract from the shame they feel. So, don't be afraid to laugh to release the tension you're feeling.
- Shyness tends to arise when you feel as though everyone is watching and judging you. But understand this, when teenagers learn about sexuality, they will definitely feel embarrassed and awkward. No one is busy judging you; in fact, they are all just as busy feeling awkward as you are!
Step 2. Know how to disapprove
When you are receiving sexual education, there are times when you don't agree with what your teacher says. Remember, having a different opinion is not a crime!
- If you think your teacher's words sound harmful or discriminatory, tell your parents immediately. It is they who will determine whether the situation needs to be reported to the school authorities or not.
- In addition, you are always welcome to raise your hand and express your opinion or disagreement politely. Realize that it's almost impossible to change your teacher's point of view, but at least your friends know that there are other possibilities that can enrich their perspective.
Step 3. Find someone you can talk to
Receiving an endless flood of information can make you sick, anxious, confused, and even scared. Sometimes, this kind of response comes because you've heard enough to be worried, but haven't learned enough to fully understand the information. If you're feeling confused, anxious, or bothered by something you've just heard, talk to someone you trust and can help reassure you.
- Consider talking to your parents or another adult; tell what you heard or experienced; Also tell me why it bothers you.
- If you experience persistent anxiety after hearing or talking about a sexual issue, consider seeing a psychologist or expert counsellor. Start by telling your problem to your parents, doctor, or counselor. After that, ask them to recommend a trusted psychologist or expert counselor
Tips
- Remember, we are all normal humans who have reproductive organs. On the one hand, talking about sexuality is embarrassing. But on the other hand, it's a situation that sooner or later everyone who is growing up is bound to face it.
- Pornography is not part of sexual education, mainly because pornography is almost completely fantasy, not productive information.
- Don't discuss topics you don't want to discuss. If you don't feel comfortable, chances are you're not ready to talk about it yet.
- As much as possible, do not seek information related to sexuality from peers. Talking with peers is more comfortable for you. But usually, the information they know is not much different from what you already know. Ask someone more knowledgeable to get richer and more accurate information.
- Young adults often lie about their sexual experiences and adventures. Usually they do this to look more mature or experienced than you.
