The higher the level of education, the greater the challenges that accompany it. This explains why often, earning a master's degree is much more difficult than earning a bachelor's degree. Are you married but are interested in continuing your education to the master's level? No matter what university or course you choose, balancing academic commitments and household responsibilities is a difficult – but obligatory – thing for you to do. Want to know powerful tips? Read on for this article!
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Part 1 of 3: Preparing for New Challenges
Step 1. Get as much information as possible about master's education
Even if your S1 certificate is marked with a very satisfactory predicate (cumlaude), it does not mean that your S2 journey will not be colored with obstacles. The material, research subjects, and academic obligations of each study program are different. In addition, tuition fees and the availability of scholarships for each study program are also different. Make sure you seek as much information as possible to find out what course of study you should take.
- Most university websites provide a consultation column to answer the basic questions of prospective students. Take advantage of this facility to ask all the information you need to know.
- If you have acquaintances who are currently studying (or have graduated) in a course you are interested in, try asking them for information. If you don't have it, don't worry. Most study programs have a Study Program Officer who will be willing to provide you with the various information you need. There are times when the person in charge of the study program is also able to connect you with students who are still active in the study program. These students can provide various information about learning materials and available scholarship programs. In addition, they will usually tell you the advantages and disadvantages of studying in the study program. Of course, you won't get this advantage if you just read the information on the university's website.
Step 2. Define your goals
Masters education is not something you go for just because you have nothing else to do in life. It is very unwise if you are willing to sacrifice a lot of time, effort, and money without first setting your goals afterward. For people who are married, the sacrifice is even worth twice as much. Therefore, be clear about why you are pursuing a master's degree, and do additional research on career opportunities when you graduate. Remember, no matter how great a degree you get a good job
Many people in academia are reluctant to admit this. But in fact, the job prospects for academics are not good, especially for those who have a background in the humanities and social sciences. If you are interested in continuing your education in both fields, consider carefully. Even if you graduate with honors, there is a possibility that in the next five to ten years you will end up as unemployed with a lot of arrears. For S2 students who are married, this situation can really threaten the family's financial condition. Open yourself to all information and think carefully about your goals
Step 3. Discuss your plans with your partner
If you are married, discussing with your partner about the challenges that come with your decision is a must. For most people who are married, continuing their education to master's level requires them to move house, leave their previous job, create a new budget, develop a new childcare schedule, and reevaluate the division of household responsibilities. So make sure you have discussed it with your partner first.
If your partner isn't from academia, chances are he won't really understand your new commitment. Once you are aware of the new commitments and responsibilities that arise, share the information with your partner. This will also help minimize any potential misunderstandings. For example, let your partner know that you may have to work weekends or travel later to do research
Step 4. Build understanding in your children
If your children are old enough to understand your decision, make sure you discuss the plan with them as well. Remember, your decision will change their life too. More than likely, they'll also need to adjust to a new parenting agenda and schedule of activities, and get used to spending less time with you. Explain your plan clearly in language they can understand. Also explain the reasons behind your decision.
Step 5. Think about your financial situation
Master's education costs a lot of money, and therefore needs to be considered with great care. Ideally, you should not pursue a master's degree – especially in the humanities and social sciences – if it is not supported by a scholarship. In general, a full scholarship means that your tuition fees and daily accommodation will be covered by the university. Instead, you must work part-time or full-time as a teaching assistant or laboratory assistant. If you're already married, usually a full scholarship won't mean much; especially since the costs of child care and education are usually not covered.
- Don't forget to look for information about the cost of caring for your children. Realize that childcare costs are not cheap. You may not know it, especially if you've been taking care of them yourself. If you decide to leave your job for a master's degree, understand that the university's “accommodation costs” are often not enough to be allocated to child care costs. Know the consequences.
- Make sure you've calculated any taxes or other additional costs that come with your child's care costs.
- If you are married, your spouse's income also needs to be considered. Did your family have to move house after that? If so, it means that your partner has to find a new job. While waiting for the job, how will you provide for your family? Does your decision to pursue a master's degree also affect your spouse's work schedule? Does your partner have to work harder afterwards? Consider these possibilities.
Step 6. Be careful when looking for a loan
You may be tempted to borrow money from the bank to cover the needs of you and your family. But understand that this decision is actually not wise in the long run. Postgraduate courses usually have to be completed within 2 years. During that time, your debts will continue to pile up. Moreover, there is a possibility that you will be faced with poor job prospects. So how do you pay off these debts?
Part 2 of 3: Take Master's Degree Education if You Are Married
Step 1. Take the time to observe the culture of your faculty
After you start being active as a master's student, pay attention to the things around you. Are there students in your class who are also married? Does the faculty board seem supportive of students who have other dependents such as family? How much time should postgraduate students spend on campus? Will they also study in the evenings and weekends? The answers to these questions can help you identify potential problems that will arise, as well as more quickly adapt to existing academic demands.
Step 2. Observe the resources and facilities available to you
In America, many universities have family resource centers (service centers for students who are married) or similar facilities aimed at postgraduate students.
- Find out if your university also has these facilities. If so, visit the facility before you register. Through this service, you will know whether the university you choose is friendly for students who are married.
- Some universities even offer job opportunities for spouses of graduate students.
Step 3. Talk to your academic advisor
Most postgraduate students are referred to an academic advisor or mentor when enrolling. Tell them that you are married and have children. Usually they will give specific advice on how to balance academic responsibilities and commitments to family.
- If the referred academic advisor is unable to empathize with your situation, try finding another mentor who can understand your perspective.
- Always keep your tone and attitude. Don't constantly complain about the difficulty of balancing responsibilities with your academic advisor. Don't demand special treatment just because you already have children. The master's degree requires you to behave professionally; learn to meet those demands. Be confident, but be open to any advice and constructive criticism from your academic advisor.
Step 4. Learn to manage your time effectively
The first ability that must be developed by S2 students who are married is time management. Take into account how much time you spend in a week studying, reading material, and researching. If possible, also calculate how long you need to teach or work in the laboratory. Also note your various responsibilities in the family, then make a schedule that contains all of these responsibilities. After that, try your best to stick to that schedule while still increasing your productivity.
- At the beginning of the course, you may find it difficult to calculate the time correctly. Consider asking senior students for help, at least until you fully understand your responsibilities. Senior students can also help identify “hidden academic responsibilities” that you may not be aware of, such as attending conferences, academic symposia, and similar activities.
- Install the timer. If you have three hours to complete a particular task, set an alarm, and stop working just as the alarm goes off (unless the situation is absolutely impossible). If the time proves to be insufficient to complete your tasks, it's a sign that you need to revise your schedule.
- Limit non-essential and time-consuming activities, such as playing Facebook or other social media. Trust me, closing your Facebook account (or limiting your Facebook playtime) can significantly increase your productivity.
- Be flexible. Be aware that your academic demands will change over time; You will receive different course materials, teaching responsibilities, laboratory assignments, or academic projects each semester. Your obligations in the family will continue to change, along with the age of your children. What worked well this month may not work as well the next month. Make sure you constantly revise the schedule as needed.
Step 5. Compile a help list
Learning to balance academic and family responsibilities can be difficult. Usually, the first months are the most difficult. For that, do not hesitate to ask for help from others. Ask your partner to help with some of the household chores that you usually have to do, including preparing breakfast, doing the laundry, or cleaning the house, at least until your academic responsibilities are done. If you have a friend, neighbor, or relative who offers to help, don't hesitate to accept their offer! They may be able to help babysit your children, bring them lunch, or play with them.
Step 6. Always ask how your spouse and children are doing
Don't focus so much on academic responsibilities that you neglect your family. Show that you appreciate their efforts to adjust to your new obligations. If they feel neglected or drifting away from you, convey your apologies. Also convey that you will try to manage things better in the future.
Step 7. Keep your attitude positive
The first months of college can be really difficult and exhausting, even for those who are not yet married! Give yourself time to adjust; don't feel like a failure if you're having trouble adjusting. Remember, adjustment involves a long process. With intention and effort, sooner or later you will be able to adapt better.
Part 3 of 3: Completing Education Well
Step 1. Learn to say “no”
There are some things that don't require your time, attention and effort. If you are committed to pursuing a master's degree while taking care of your family, make sure you know when to say "no". Of course the response really depends on your situation, but in general:
- You should be able to say "no" to your partner every now and then. Your spouse may want to take you to the movies on the weekends. But if you have a task that needs to be done quickly, learn to decline the invitation. Your answer may be controversial, so make sure you discuss it well with your partner.
- You should be able to say "no" to your children every now and then. If you want to complete your education well, you will likely have to ban your children from attending some activities from time to time. Explain the situation as best you can to your children.
- You should be able to limit the additional responsibilities of your school or child care setting. For example, if you are already in a parent association at your child's school, say "no" if someone asks you to join another association. Also resist the urge to volunteer at charity events that are too time-consuming.
- You must learn to say "no" to certain academic activities. This advice may be difficult for you to implement, especially since you don't want to mess up your education, disappoint academic advisors, or ignore interesting opportunities. But understand, you don't have enough time and energy to do everything. You may – and may – occasionally refuse to participate in seminars, be a conference speaker, or be active in certain organizations.
Step 2. Know when to say “yes”
If you say "no" too often (or say "no" at the wrong time), you're more likely to fail at both (college and family). Some commitments are essentially non-negotiable. Although the conditions are highly dependent on your situation, in general:
- Learn to distinguish between family “needs” and “wants”. If you say "no" to your partner too often, he or she may feel angry, ignored, unfairly treated, or unloved by you. Therefore, make sure you know when it's time to spend time with your partner or free them from household chores. The same advice applies to your children: don't neglect their needs in favor of pursuing an academic career. Make sure you still spend time with them and allow them to do various fun activities.
- Realize what it takes to complete a master's degree well. Know that simply passing with a minimum is not enough; in some situations – but not always – you also need to outperform other students and impress others! Say "yes" to academic responsibilities, program events, conferences, and research opportunities that you think are important to attend.
Step 3. Get in the habit of not procrastinating when doing tasks
In general, this is a good strategy to have a great performance on campus. If the paper submission deadline for your final project is two weeks away, try to finish it next week. That way, you don't have to worry if you suddenly have to be preoccupied with unexpected problems or responsibilities. If you are married, unexpected problems or responsibilities can arise at any time! Your child may suddenly get sick. It's also possible that you are suddenly asked to come to a parent's meeting because your partner is busy at work. Be smart about managing your time so you don't end up bothering yourself.
Step 4. Forget the desire to be perfect
Most of the master's degree students are perfectionists; they are willing to do anything to get an A+ in every opportunity. Unfortunately, perfectionism will actually mess with your performance – on campus and at home – and prevent you from getting things done well while still enjoying life. Believe me, you can still get things done well without burdening yourself with the desire to be the best in all situations.
- Realize that most academic assignments are just pebbles to step over, not your individual genius or perfectionist. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
- It would be nice if you always submit assignments on time and make sure they are of adequate quality. As much as possible, don't ask for an extension of the deadline. Turn in your assignments right away (even if you believe you could do better if you had the extra time); don't let yourself get stuck in academic debt that keeps piling up.
- Forget about your obsession with being the perfect parent or owning a home that isn't decorated with a speck of dust. It will not happen. Spending too much time trying to make it happen will only leave you exhausted and prone to frustration.
Step 5. Set aside time to socialize
You may feel that you have been so busy with academic tasks, parental responsibilities, and husband/wife obligations that you no longer have time to socialize. But no matter how busy you are, try to still make time to attend a friend's dinner invitation, socialize at your old friend's party, and so on. This will make you realize that apart from being a student and a parent, you are still an individual who needs to enjoy life.
Try to socialize well with friends on campus, even with your old friends. Both groups are valuable friends to you. Your friends on campus will act as comrades-in-arms who always remind you of your academic responsibilities, while your off-campus friends will always remind you of the world outside your academic circle
Step 6. Try taking a week off from all your academic responsibilities
If possible, designate Saturday and Sunday as free work and study free days. This strategy allows you to regularly spend time with your family. In addition – you may believe it or not – this strategy will actually improve your performance as a student when you return.
Step 7. Be a good example to your children
If you feel sad because you don't have enough time with your family, always remember that you are a role model for your children. They can grow into a better person if they see their parents work very hard to achieve their goals. As they grow older, they will remember your hard work, and may be inspired to work just as hard to achieve their goals.
Step 8. Celebrate important days
Masters education is a long tiring journey. Don't wait for an official title to celebrate your accomplishments. Instead, be proud of the simple achievements that accompany your journey! When you successfully complete a paper, present a scientific paper at a conference, do well on an exam, publish an article in a scientific journal, or succeed in teaching, enjoy and celebrate that achievement with your family.
Tips
- For people who are married, taking a master's degree is a long process that is very tiring. If you are feeling overly anxious and depressed, try seeing a counselor or psychologist who can help you manage these negative feelings. Most universities provide free counseling services that you can take part in.
- Make sure you take advantage of all available resources. Some universities offer assistance in caring for and/or paying for the care of their students' children. Not infrequently there are also universities that have organizations to accommodate students who already have children, or offer scholarships for students who are married. Dig up as much information as possible from various available sources.
