There are various reasons that make a person feel lonely, for example because they feel awkward dealing with other people or just don't like to socialize. However, there are also people who feel lonely, even though they are in a crowd. This can happen because they are less able to establish intimacy with other people. There are times, a person feels trapped in loneliness and it feels very unpleasant. There are various ways to deal with loneliness, for example by meeting people you don't know, learning to appreciate being alone, and improving relationships with family members. Read this article if you want to know how to deal with loneliness.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Understanding Your Loneliness
Step 1. Find out why you feel lonely
Take the time to find out why you feel lonely so you can change this situation. For example, let's say you assume that you are lonely because you don't have many friends so you try to find more friends. However, it is possible that you are still lonely even though you have made many new friends because this loneliness comes from having many friends without close relationships. To determine why you feel lonely, try asking yourself these questions:
- When do you feel very lonely?
- Are there certain people who make you feel even more lonely when you're with them?
- How long have you felt like this?
- What do you like to do when you are lonely?
Step 2. Start keeping a journal to record your thoughts and feelings
Keeping a journal will help you understand how lonely you are and can really help relieve stress. Start looking for a comfortable place where you can journal quietly and write for about 20 minutes. Write down what you felt and thought or what you just remembered, for example:
- “I feel lonely when…”
- “I feel lonely because…”
- When did you start feeling lonely? How long have you felt this way?
Step 3. Practice meditation
Several studies have shown that meditation can be used to deal with feelings associated with loneliness and depression. Meditation also makes it easier for you to accept your loneliness and find out what causes it. It would be very good if you could join a class that teaches meditation for beginners because in addition to having to be done on a scheduled basis, meditation requires regular practice and guidance. If you don't have a meditation class in your area, try buying a CD or searching the internet for meditation guides that will teach you how to meditate.
- Before starting to meditate, find a quiet and comfortable place to practice. You can sit on a chair or sit cross-legged on the floor using a pillow as a seat. After that, close your eyes and start focusing your attention on the breath. Try to control your thoughts so you don't get distracted from your breath. Just let your thoughts come and go.
- While keeping your eyes closed, try to start observing the situation around you. Also pay attention to what you are going through at the moment. What did you hear? What do you kiss? How do you feel physically? What do you feel emotionally?
Step 4. Try talking to a therapist to talk about the problems you're having
Maybe you can't figure out what's causing your loneliness and don't know how to deal with it. Therefore, try to find a licensed mental health professional so that someone can help you find the cause and solve the problem. Loneliness is one symptom that may indicate that you may be suffering from depression or another mental health problem. In addition to helping you understand what is going on, the therapist can also determine the most appropriate course of action to address the issue.
Method 2 of 4: Making Yourself Comfortable
Step 1. Know that you are not alone
Loneliness is normal for everyone, but it can make you feel like an abnormal person. Try reaching out to a friend or family member you can talk to about the matter. In addition to sharing how you feel, ask them if they have experienced the same thing. By contacting others and sharing your experiences, you will never feel alone.
- You could say, "I've been feeling lonely lately and was wondering if you've been feeling the same way."
- If you don't have a friend or family member you can talk to, try contacting your teacher, seeing a counselor, or a spiritual director.
Step 2. Do something
Instead of just letting yourself be lonely, try doing whatever it takes to free your mind from thinking about loneliness anymore. Start walking, cycling, or reading a book. Don't be afraid to try things you've never done before by doing new activities or finding new hobbies. By having a lot of experience, there is something you can share with other people (so you can talk to more people). Plus, you can start conversations that are interesting to other people.
Get busy. Loneliness will emerge slowly if you continue to sit still and do nothing. Try to get busy with work or doing other activities that you enjoy
Step 3. Do activities you enjoy alone
Don't decide not to go out and enjoy activities you enjoy just because you don't have anyone to go out with. If one day you want to have dinner out or see a movie at the cinema, go alone to a restaurant you like or to the cinema. While you may feel awkward at first doing this alone because you're used to company company, just do it. Nothing strange if you go and do activities alone! Remember why you did it so you can enjoy the activity again as usual.
- Bring a book, magazine, or journal if you want to go out to eat or drink coffee alone so you can do something if you don't have anyone to talk to. Be aware that there are people who purposely go out alone just to enjoy some "alone" time. Therefore, you don't have to worry that someone will notice you and think you have no friends.
- You need to get used to the feelings that come with going out alone. Don't give up right away if you feel a little awkward at first.
Step 4. Try raising an animal
If you're having trouble with not having friends, it's a good idea to get a dog or cat from an animal shelter. Since time immemorial, pets are considered good companions to stay in the house. Having a pet's trust and affection can also be a pleasant experience.
Be a responsible pet owner. Make sure that your pet is neutered or neutered and pet it if you are fully prepared to do the daily tasks of caring for it
Method 3 of 4: Re-Engage in Social Life
Step 1. Engage in various activities
Try making new friends by getting involved in activities outside the home. You can join a sports team, take courses, or volunteer in certain communities. If you're feeling shy, find a group for people who don't like to interact in person because they have social anxiety, even over the internet. You can search Craigslist, Meetup, or local websites to find activities in your neighborhood.
Don't participate in certain activities just to make friends or meet other people. Join without expecting anything and have fun in any situation. Find an activity you enjoy and try to hang out with people who share your interests, such as taking cooking classes, doing church activities, joining a political campaign, practicing music, or making art
Step 2. Challenge yourself to start making social connections
If you want to make new friends, you have to take the initiative and invite other people to do certain activities. Don't wait for someone to come to you, but you must meet them. Start by asking if he'd like to chat or have coffee together. You must first show interest in the other person, not the other way around.
- Be yourself when you meet new friends. Don't try to impress others by not being yourself. This method will end the new friendship, before it even started.
- Be a good listener. Try to pay close attention and respond to what the other person says so he doesn't think you don't care about him. This attitude shows that you are listening to what he has to say.
Step 3. Make time for family gatherings
You can overcome loneliness by strengthening relationships with family members. Even though your relationship with one of your family members has not been very close, you can still improve your relationship by asking him to meet. For example, if you have a family member you haven't seen in a while, try asking them to meet over lunch or coffee together.
You can apply the same method to making new friends if you want to rebuild or strengthen relationships with family members. Take the initiative to ask her out, be yourself, and be a good listener
Step 4. Be a fun person
Make people feel good to meet you by trying to be a nice friend. Give praise and do not like to criticize. Never start a conversation by making a negative comment about someone's clothes, habits, or hair. Others would not like to be reminded of a small stain on his shirt, while he himself could not do anything about it. He'd rather hear you say that his shirt is cool or that you've read an article he's written. Say in a relaxed tone that you like something, don't overdo it. This will make the atmosphere more intimate and over time will build trust because he is sure that you will not criticize him.
Step 5. Join an online community
Connecting with other people on the internet is sometimes easier than interacting in person, but remember that online interaction is no substitute for a face-to-face relationship. However, online communities can sometimes be excellent means to share views and experiences or to ask people who have had the same problem. Online forums often give you the opportunity to help others while helping yourself.
Try to use the internet in a safe way. People don't necessarily display their true self and beware of predators who like to prey on lonely people
Method 4 of 4: Enjoying Solitude
Step 1. Distinguish between loneliness and being alone
Loneliness is an unhappy feeling that arises when a person is alone. Being alone is when you are alone that makes a person feel happy. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone or enjoying solitude. Time outs can be very rewarding and enjoyable.
Step 2. Work on improving yourself and making yourself happy
We tend to ignore ourselves when we share time with others so we don't feel happy. If you're trying to overcome loneliness, take this opportunity to do whatever you love to please yourself. This is the best opportunity because you deserve to be happy!
Step 3. Join the gym
When we are busy, exercise and body care are the first things we ignore. If you rarely hang out with other people, try filling your time with exercise. Try working out at the gym so you can make new friends or meet someone special!
Step 4. Develop new skills
Treat yourself to spending time enjoying a new hobby that can help you deal with loneliness, even if you're doing it alone. Try learning to play an instrument, paint, or dance. By learning new things and doing these activities with other people, you can make new friends. In addition, you can also channel your feelings in a creative way. Turn your loneliness into something beautiful!
- Cook delicious food for yourself. Make delicious cakes for your friends or neighbors. By cooking and sharing food, you can have a valuable experience by directing your attention to the things that are beneficial.
- Try joining a club so you can meet people who share the same hobbies.
Step 5. Do great things
Often times, people have aspirations to do very big things and a thousand reasons not to do them. Do you want to write a book? Making movies? Use your loneliness to do great things. Who knows, what you do might become something that can help others overcome the loneliness they experience…
Tips
- Don't make friends right away or just trust someone you just met. Trust should be built slowly and try to accept your friends for who they are. It's okay to know a lot of people so you have enough acquaintances. By having many friends, there will be people you are comfortable meeting and sharing experiences with. In addition, there is a close group of friends you can trust to share personal information. Try to imagine your contacts as concentric circles.
- Realize that a person can feel "lonely in a crowd." You can still feel lonely, even if you have lots of friends, family, and acquaintances. There are people who find it difficult to establish relationships with other people around them. In these circumstances, they may need counselling.
- Try to be happy with yourself. Think of a place that is fun or where you can feel happy because it will be easy to see if someone likes/loves yourself for who you are. People love to be around someone who is passionate and confident.
- Know that you don't have to be in a relationship just to be happy. It might be hard to see your friends go out on a date. In fact, it's like there's something wrong with you for not dating. You don't have to be part of a certain group or always be surrounded by people who care about you. Make new friends and start dating when you're ready.
- Remember that everyone feels awkward. But other people are not focusing on your mistakes, they are more likely to focus on their own.
- Create a positive atmosphere and environment. Loneliness can be a good time to try new things, relax, or develop your creative abilities.
- Be yourself! You don't have to be someone else for someone to like you or want to be friends with you. Everyone has their own style and uniqueness. Take time to get to know yourself and your strengths. People will like who you really are, not who you don't like.
- Sometimes you have to show yourself. Don't let yourself be a loner, even if you have to go through some awkward moments. It's better to take the opportunity to go out, meet other people, and try new things. Love yourself so others can love you too.
- If you are a religious person, join an organization at the nearest house of worship in your home.
- Resting helps you remember things and gives you peace of mind.
- Think of a place that is fun or you like.
- You can listen to music or read a book in the second person to make it feel like someone is talking to you.
Warning
- Loneliness is a condition that certain cult groups or gangs often take advantage of by exerting a negative influence on you. Be careful and listen to what other people have to say about the group you want to join.
- If you feel lonely for a long time, try to seek medical attention because you may have a depressive disorder.
- Excessive reliance on online communities as social networks can lead to addiction and lead to more problems. Use this site as a means to meet new friends who share your interests, but don't expect the people you'll meet to be the same as people you know online.
- If you feel lonely, stay away from social media sites like Facebook and Twitter as they are not helpful in building your social relationships. While there are bad people on this site, you'll feel even more uncomfortable reading other people's statuses about fun activities. It will be more useful if you do activities outside the home, such as walking, playing with the dog, or chatting with your sibling.
- You may meet bad people in bad groups. Try to find a good group so you can meet good people.
Related article
- How to Overcome Loneliness
- How to Find Friends
