The easier it is to make human relationships in everyday life, the more we will feel neglected. Do you often feel this way? Don't worry because you are not alone. You may be wondering how to deal with loneliness. This article will explain some of the steps you need to take, starting with trying to understand yourself better, changing your mindset, and taking concrete action.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Taking Action
Step 1. Get busy
Do any activity to pass the time. If your schedule is filled with productive and attention-grabbing activities, you won't have time to feel lonely anymore. Try volunteering, working part time, being a member of the library. You can also work out at the gym, take up a hobby, or create your own art. Dont think to much.
What hobbies do you like? What is your talent? What activity have you always wanted to do but never had the opportunity? Take this opportunity and do what you want
Step 2. Change your environment
Usually it will be easiest if you choose to stay at home and let your days be led by the mindset that has become your habit. However, the sadness of being lonely will only get worse the longer you stay in the same environment. Try working while sitting in a cafe. Go to the mall and watch the people go by. Give a stimulant to your brain so that it can divert your mind from negative things.
Outdoor activities will have a positive influence on mental health. Try getting outdoors to reduce stress and improve your physical health, go for a hike, or take friends camping. Regular activities in the open can strengthen your mental
Step 3. Do activities that make you feel good
By doing activities that you really enjoy, you will feel less lonely. Think about what makes you feel good. Meditate? Reading European literature? Sing? Just do it. Take the time and make the most of developing what you love most. Invite friends from school, new acquaintances at the gym, or neighbors to join you so you can make new friends.
Stay away from illegal drugs to reduce your suffering from feeling lonely. Try to find activities that make you feel good, not ways to solve temporary problems
Step 4. Watch out for some red flags
Sometimes, you may not know the best way to deal with loneliness and will do whatever it takes to reduce this feeling. However, beware of bad influences or people who just want to take advantage of you. It may be that the vulnerability that comes with loneliness can make you a target for people who are manipulative or misbehave. The characteristics of people who do not like healthy relationships are:
- They seem "too idealistic". They will contact you often, arrange activities that you must do, and always want to look perfect. This condition is an early warning about bullies who want to control you.
- They don't want to share. Even if you've picked them up from work, helped them out on the weekends, or shared some other kindness, they still never return your kindness. People like this just want to take advantage of your weaknesses.
- They will feel annoyed if you prefer to spend time on your own. Maybe you'd be very happy if you could hang out with people who like to control you without it bothering you. However, you should still be wary of people watching your activities, finding out where you are and with whom, or expressing displeasure if you make friends with someone other than them.
Step 5. Focus on the people you love
There are times when we have to rely on others, although this may be difficult for people who crave independence. If you're lonely, reach out to trusted family or friends wherever they are. Your mood will improve simply by calling them and chatting.
The people you love don't necessarily know that you are in trouble. You also don't have to share how you feel if it's uncomfortable. Tell only things that make you comfortable. They will appreciate you for sharing their feelings with them
Step 6. Look for people who are compatible with you
The easiest way to find them is through the internet. There are many sources of information for contacting other people, such as "ground coffee" in your area. Try contacting people who have similar hobbies or interests. Start by searching based on your favorite book or movie, it can also be based on where you come from or where you currently live. There will always be groups that match the criteria you are looking for.
- Look for opportunities to socialize and do them. You can search online for fitness classes or comic book fans. Sign up for an internal activity that you really enjoy at work. The only way to change the mindset that causes sadness is to try to involve yourself in certain activities. This will open up opportunities so you can start a conversation with other people.
- This step may require you to leave your comfort zone, but see this opportunity as a good thing, as a challenge. Just choose another way if you don't like it. What's more, you won't get hurt doing it, you can even learn new things.
Step 7. Try raising an animal
People need relationships so much that they have kept furry animals as friends for over 30,000 years. If two bickering people can stay together for years, you can definitely benefit from having a dog or cat in your home. Pets can be very good friends. However, their presence can never replace the role of other people in your life. Try to maintain a good relationship with a few people so that you can always have a friend to talk to or someone to lean on during difficult times.
- Don't buy a dog that is too expensive. You can keep a stray dog or cat roaming around your house. Or if you have a stray dog or cat shelter in your area, try to find one here.
- Research has shown that in addition to being friends, having a pet can improve your psychological well-being, and even prolong your life.
Step 8. Think of other people
Social research has proven a link between self-focus and loneliness. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't express your emotions, just that you shouldn't make them the only focus of your attention. By expanding your focus on other people, your loneliness can go away on its own. Based on research results, volunteering is one way to help lonely people so that they have a better social life and a more satisfying emotional life. In this way, they can overcome the loneliness they experience.
- The easiest way to broaden your focus is to find a group of people you can help. You can register as a volunteer at a hospital, soup kitchen, or shelter for the homeless. Also, try joining a support group, supporting a charity, or making a donation to orphaned children. They are all having a hard time, maybe you can ease their suffering.
- You can also help others who are lonely. Mentally weak people and the elderly will usually be increasingly alienated from social intercourse. Try volunteering by visiting a nursing home or helping care for a patient in a hospital. This method will overcome the loneliness that others and you feel.
Part 2 of 3: Changing Your Mindset
Step 1. Express your feelings to yourself
You can find out why you feel lonely by keeping a journal. For example, if you have a lot of friends, you may not understand why you still feel lonely. Try browsing this journal to find out when you feel lonely. At what time does this feeling arise? What is the shape? What is going on around you when you feel lonely?
- For example, let's say you just moved out of your parents' house and live in another city. Now you have new friends at work that are fun, but you still feel lonely when you come home to a lonely place. This indicates that you are looking for someone who can establish a stable emotional connection with you.
- Recognize that the causes of loneliness can help you take action to overcome them. This will also make you feel better about how you feel. In the example above, you will be able to accept that what you are feeling is normal if you can accept the fact that you have made new, fun friends, even though you have lost touch with the family you have been living with.
Step 2. Change negative thoughts
Try to pay attention to your mindset throughout the day. Focus your attention on thoughts about yourself or others. If your thoughts are negative, change the sentence structure and turn them into positive statements. For example: change if your thoughts say "No one at work will understand me" to "I haven't started a relationship with anyone at work yet."
Changing the conversation with yourself can be a very challenging job. Often times, we don't even realize that we are thinking negatively. Set aside ten minutes a day specifically to observe negative thoughts. After that, change these negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Next, work even harder until you can monitor your conversations with yourself and control them throughout the day. Your whole mindset will change if you manage to do this exercise well
Step 3. Stop the habit of thinking in black and white or judging
This mindset is formed because of cognitive distortions that must be overcome. Thinking 'all or nothing' like "I'm lonely right now, so I'll always be lonely" or "No one cares about me" will only hinder your progress by making you sadder.
Challenge it if these thoughts come to your mind. For example, try to think about times when you didn't feel so lonely because you were able to be in a relationship with someone, even if it was only for a short time and you felt understood. Recognizing and accepting this statement-which results from a judgmental mindset-is not difficult in revealing the truth about our rich emotional life
Step 4. Think positive
Negative thought patterns can lead us to negative realities of life. Your mind is usually very fond of making happy predictions. If you think negatively, you will also view life negatively. For example, if you come to a party thinking no one likes you and you can't have fun, you'll just be aloof during the party, won't greet the other guests, and won't be able to enjoy the fun of the party. On the other hand, you will experience positive things if you always think positively.
- Vice versa. If you expect things to go well, that's what will happen. Test this theory by making positive assumptions about a situation in your life. Even if the outcome isn't all that good, you won't be too disappointed if you're prepared to face this reality with a positive mindset.
- The best way to practice positive thinking is to hang out with positive people. You will find out how these people view their lives and those of others. Plus, their positive habits will rub off on you.
- Another way to be positive is to not tell yourself that you're not going to say hello to your friends. For example, never tell your friend that he or she is a loser. So if you notice you're thinking "I'm a loser," correct this disdainful comment by saying nice things about yourself. Try saying "Sometimes I make mistakes, but I'm also smart, humorous, caring, and straightforward."
Step 5. Meet people who can help you professionally
Sometimes loneliness is a sign of a bigger problem. If your whole life doesn't seem to be going well and you're out of balance in your thought processes, it's a good idea to see a therapist or counselor.
- Prolonged loneliness can sometimes be a sign of depression. Try to see a mental health professional who can do a proper evaluation so that you can identify the signs of depression and get the right treatment for this disorder.
- You will also find it helpful to share your problems. This way, you'll be able to gain an understanding of what's natural and what's not, what you should do to make it easier to get along, and you'll feel a lot better just by changing your daily routine.
Part 3 of 3: Understanding Yourself
Step 1. Recognize the feeling of loneliness you are experiencing
A person can experience loneliness in different ways. For some, this feeling can come and go like a foreboding, while for others, loneliness is an integral part of the reality of their daily lives. There are also people who experience loneliness in social or emotional life.
- Social loneliness. This loneliness can appear in the form of a sense of hopelessness, boredom, and isolation from social life. This condition can occur if you do not have a reliable social network or if you are separated from the environment, for example because you have just moved to a new place of residence.
- Emotional loneliness. This loneliness can appear in the form of anxiety, depression, insecurity, and confusion. This condition occurs when you don't have as strong an emotional connection with other people as you would like.
Step 2. Know that loneliness is a feeling
While this may be painful, loneliness must first be overcome by understanding that loneliness is just a feeling. This condition is completely unreal and not permanent. There is a saying that says: "everything will pass". This loneliness problem has nothing to do with you as a social being. It also has nothing to do with the neural network in your head that has been working in a way that doesn't bring good in your life. However, this condition can always be changed by overcoming your thoughts of loneliness and feeling better.
In the end, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do. Take this situation as an opportunity to understand yourself and improve your life. A very advanced understanding of loneliness says that the suffering that loneliness creates will spur you to take action. In addition, this condition will shape you into someone you never imagined before if you don't experience this problem
Step 3. Get to know your personality
There is a huge difference between the loneliness experienced by extroverts and introverts. Loneliness and being alone are two different things. Try to imagine what the opposite of loneliness is like. But know, everyone will have their own opinion about this.
- Introverts usually prefer to have close relationships with only a few people. In general, they also don't want to see friends every day. Instead, they prefer to spend more time alone and only need the influence of other people occasionally.
- Extroverted people usually prefer to hang out with a group of people so that their social needs can be met. They will feel sad if they cannot interact with other people who can provide stimulants. In addition, extroverts will still feel lonely, even if they are in a crowd if their relationship is socially and emotionally unsatisfactory.
- Which group do you belong to? You can make decisions about how to deal with loneliness by understanding how your personality influences how lonely you feel.
Step 4. Know that you're not the only one feeling lonely
A recent survey revealed that one in four people surveyed said they had no friends to talk to about personal matters. If family members are excluded from the criteria for reliable people, the number of respondents experiencing loneliness increases to 50%. This means, if you're feeling lonely because there's no one to talk to, 25-50% of Americans are going through the same thing as you.
Scientists currently argue that loneliness is a public health problem. Recent research has shown that people who feel isolated, whether physically separated due to distance or subjective conditions, tend to live shorter lives
Tips
- Know that the world is huge and no matter what you are passionate about, there will be someone who likes the same thing out there. You just need to find this person.
- Accept the fact that loneliness can be changed. If you are able to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts, you can also learn to be a happy person at work or anywhere else by getting acquainted with other people.
- Use social media actively. People who post messages or photos more often on social media say that they are never lonely.
- If you just continue to be alone and do nothing, nothing will change. At the very least, you should try to do something with activities outside the home and get acquainted with new people.
