Oftentimes, your nonstop chatter can ruin a moment, whether it's a chat on the phone, a moment of relaxation, or even a date. This non-stop chatter became unbearable and many had a hard time dealing with it. Here are some easy tips to do before, during, and after a confrontation that will help mediate potential conflicts and teach your sibling to control their chatter.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Coping With The Moment
Step 1. Ignore your brother
When we are disturbed or irritated, sometimes it means that the culprit is seeking attention. If ignored, he or she gets a strong message that you can't be bothered and won't indulge in the negative activity.
- Remember, you are a valuable person. If your sibling puts you down or tries to humiliate you, that's the problem, not yours.
- Replying to your brother won't help the situation, even if it's tempting to do. Do not return insults with insults. Just ignore the people who attack you.
- Do your best so that your sibling doesn't know that your feelings are hurt. It's normal to feel hurt when someone is mean to you, but if your brother tries to hurt you, he'll be happy to see you sad. So, it's better to just ignore your brother.
Step 2. Leave the situation
Go to your room. If your brother catches up with you, ask him to come out of your room. If your room is your personal space, chances are your parents will defend you, should you need their help to get your sibling out of the room. Sometimes, avoiding the situation is the best way. You can also go to areas of the house that are rarely visited by your siblings.
Step 3. Find a distraction
Do a task so you can run away from your brother. If your parents won't let you go alone, take a friend with you. Put on headphones so you don't hear your brother's voice. This can help you separate yourself. As discussed above, the less responsive you are, the less likely your sibling will continue to annoy you. Finding a distraction that helps you ignore the situation can help your sibling to shut up.
Step 4. Be assertive
If the ignore or avoidance tactics fail, you can be assertive. Being assertive when being teased or bullied may silence your sibling.
- Remember, you deserve respect in your home. If you are disturbed by your brother, it means that your rights have been violated. You have the right to be firm and defend yourself.
- As mentioned above, don't lower yourself to your brother's level and return insults with insults. It's just that you can respond in self-defense. If your brother insists, point out that what he said was wrong. For example, when your sibling criticizes your T-shirt, say something like, “This is my t-shirt and I like it. That's what's important. Your teasing doesn't affect the way I dress."
Step 5. Use humor to avoid the situation
You can also use humor to combat teasing. Humor indicates that you are comfortable being yourself. Your brother will be threatened by your confidence.
- Receive your brother's message with humour. This shows that you can accept your own mistakes. Maybe your sibling is making fun of you because he lacks confidence and will be surprised to see that you are comfortable with yourself.
- We use the case of the shirt earlier. If your sibling keeps badmouthing your t-shirt, say something like, "I really like ugly clothes, that's okay. Bad taste doesn't mean as bad as the world does!"
Step 6. Listen all you can
Maybe you want your brother to be quiet not because he upsets you. Maybe your brother is just too talkative. If this is the case, try to listen as best you can. As you listen, try to understand what your sibling is trying to convey and why. Is he mean to you or making fun of you? Why did he feel the need to do that? Is he trying to say something that's on his mind but having a hard time saying it? Is there anything you can do to help her express herself more easily?
Method 2 of 3: Discussing Existing Problems
Step 1. Bring up the problem
If you continue to have conflict with your sibling, it's a good idea to face the problem. Start by stating the obvious, namely what you didn't like about the situation and why. It's important that you share your views, then give your sibling a chance to respond. After your sibling has spoken for a while, interrupt with something like, "I don't like the way you're talking now," or "I think you're dominating this conversation." Try to stay as calm as possible. Being hostile and yelling will only exacerbate the situation.
Step 2. Use the “self” statement
When presenting a problem, it is important that you use "self" statements. This statement is trying to convey something based on feelings, not facts. This can be helpful when you confront your sibling because he or she will feel that you are expressing yourself and your emotions instead of giving an external judgment on the situation.
- Self-statements begin with "I feel." After saying "I feel," describe your emotions and explain what behavior made you feel that way. Using “self” statements can help resolve conflicts because they feel less judgmental. You're not making quick judgments about the situation or blaming one person, but simply expressing how you feel about the situation.
- For example, don't say, "You're not understanding when you talk to me and belittle me for not getting my homework done." Change the sentence using an "self" statement. Say something like, "I'm sorry you're fussing about my homework because I'm getting more stressed."
Step 3. If necessary, end your conversation
Sometimes, even though you've spoken in the most respectful way possible, your sibling still refuses to keep quiet. Perhaps your brother may even become hostile, despite your best efforts to resolve the situation. If your sibling keeps nagging you and doesn't respect you, it's best to end the conversation. Say something like, "I guess this is endless and I'm already uncomfortable." After that, leave him.
Method 3 of 3: Bring Up the Bigger Problem
Step 1. Write down your sentiments
There may be a more serious problem, if your sibling nags and annoys you a lot. A great way to deal with this kind of problem is to discuss it with your sibling. Before doing so, take the time to write down your feelings so you can express them properly when discussing them with your sibling.
- Make a list of the times you fought and/or when your sibling wouldn't stop babbling. Make a long list, then cross out the minor incidents.
- Focus on the most important incidents, such as the time your sibling gave you a headache or interrupted something important with his talk.
- Also think about what you want to achieve by talking to your sibling. What do you expect to happen after your conversation? By having this discussion, you want your brother to stop his behavior which one?
Step 2. Try to understand your brother's point of view
In addition to writing down your own views, try to consider your sibling's point of view before starting a discussion. What do you think made your sibling feel the need to be aggressive with you? What events shaped his experience? Are you being unfair in this situation? In a conflict, rarely is one party at fault. In addition to writing down your perspective on trying to reflect on your sibling's point of view, you also need to write it down. Show that you have tried to take your brother's advice into account. Why does your brother feel the need to be aggressive with you? What experiences have shaped it? Have you been unfair in other situations? Try to understand why siblings sometimes hurt feelings and what you can do to end it.
Step 3. Face your brother
Invite your sibling to sit together in a comfortable place. Make sure your brother knows what he's about to hear is serious.
- Turn off the TV and make sure you're not using your phone or computer. Technology can create a distraction and make you forget what you wanted to say.
- Use a comfortable place such as a bedroom or living room. This can help because he can sit comfortably, so the confrontation becomes more relaxed.
- Make sure to choose the right time to chat. Don't talk if your brother has to leave for work in an hour. Choose a free time, for example after dinner on weekdays.
Step 4. Take turns talking
It is important to be respectful of each other during the conversation. Take turns expressing your feelings. Try not to interrupt when your sibling is talking. If he dives into you, stop him politely, for example by saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm not done talking."
- Don't interrupt when your brother is talking. Even when he says things you don't agree with or that hurt your feelings, respect and allow him to express himself freely.
- Remember, don't be upset or insulting. In order for the situation to be resolved, you must remain as respectful as possible. Talking about your sibling can make the conversation unproductive.
Step 5. Compromise
The purpose of this confrontation is to resolve the issue between you and your sibling. You have to be willing to compromise and see things from his point of view. Once you have explained to each other, try to solve the problem together. Look for an area that the two of you can change up a bit. For example, you often fight because your sibling doesn't like that you often lock yourself in your room. You can agree to give him time after school and before bed. He could agree to spend more time with you on the weekends or before dinner and let you play in his room.
Celebrate your differences. Since conflicts sometimes arise because of individual differences, learn to appreciate input from your sibling. Accept your differences of opinion on certain topics. You can also think of this difference of opinion as an opportunity to learn from the other person's point of view. Pay close attention to your brother's character and reasons for that
Step 6. End the uncomfortable situation
Even though you tried your best, in the future there might still be an uncomfortable situation. Quarrels between siblings are commonplace, especially when growing up and testing the boundaries of family relationships. Sometimes, it's easier to end a conversation before it starts. If you feel yourself or your sibling becoming hostile towards you, stand up and leave the room.
Tips
- If your sibling is younger, try to silence him in a slower/rational tone of voice.
- Buy a lock for your bedroom door so your brother can't enter and disturb you. Don't argue with your sibling as this will only exacerbate the problem and make his fussiness increase, not decrease.
- Buy a lock for your bedroom door so your brother can't enter and disturb you.
- Ask yourself what you did in that situation and whether you started the incident.
- You may need to leave your sibling alone for about five minutes so he can catch his breath and relax.
- Move away or ask an adult to tell your sibling to stop talking.
- Involve adults only if the situation is getting out of hand and you can't stop fighting or talking. It would be great if the adults involved were your parents or legal guardians
Warning
- Always remember that what your brother says may be life threatening. So, make sure there is no emergency situation.
- Finding solutions may make you more stressed and increase the risk.
- Even if your brother says he won't bother you, he probably will. So keep reminding your brother to be quiet. Adhere to the schedule that you have set about when and where your brother can talk and come to you.
